Properties of the Heart

by EternalFluffy

Marluxia is the newest addition to the Organization, a young man full of spunk and ambition. But when he breaks into Vexen's laboratory, he winds up learning something about the Chilly Academic that no one would have guessed... gradual MarVex.

6. The Liquefaction Process

GOD! I have to apologize again for how long it took me to get this freakin chapter done. I'm really sorry. Somewhere in the middle of writing this chapter, I just had terrible writer's block and lost all motivation to continue. I was having personal issues that I'm still working to get through. But the good news is that it's getting better, and look! It's here! I have Anime Boston partly to thank for reigniting my inspiration. It was amazing, and I thank all the awesome people I met there. If you happened to be there and see me, I was Vexen on Friday and Saturday and Even on Sunday. I've missed writing, I really have. Hopefully, it won't fade out again, because I'm going to Colossalcon in Ohio next!

But on to the actual chapter. It's once again mostly a Vexen chapter, but I've decided that it would be best to focus on one character and one issue at a time, so everything is more streamlined and we aren't jumping all over the place. There will be a lot more on Marluxia/Lumaira next chapter.

Beware the continued fluff and OOCness. This chapter may just melt you into a pile of sugar. I know that's what it did to me.

I'm also using Vexen's GBA laugh, because that was the one that REALLY made me go "wtf?" Yeah. Just imagine THAT going off for about half an hour.

All characters, minus Random Purple-Haired Guy, belong to Square-Enix.

I want to keep this inspiration up! ...But next update definitely won't be until after Colossalcon at the beginning of June.

(-)

Chapter 6: The Liquefaction Process

It felt strange to wake up with all your clothes still on. Marluxia wiggled, uncomfortably, scratching at his thick coat and trying to pull it off…before he remembered just where he actually was.

A living body stirred, slightly, next to him. He glanced over to see a groggy Vexen carefully sitting up and rubbing his eyes, and the events of the previous night came flooding back to him. He smiled. "Good morning, sunshine."

"Shut your pie hole."

Vexen looked different waking up like this. He'd never actually seen it before. His hair was slightly mussed, his eyes droopy.

"Mmmmmnnn," he groaned, burying back into the pillow. "I hate sleeping."

Marluxia raised an eyebrow at him. "Really? It looks like you enjoy it to me. You can't even get up."

"Dat's jus it," Vexen mumbled into the pillow. "Unce I start sweeping, I don wanna stop."

Marluxia chuckled, teasingly patting him on the head. "That just means you needed it."

"Errrrg…" Reluctantly, Vexen pulled himself up again, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and smoothing down his hair.

"Why do you sleep with your clothes on?" Marluxia asked, just as he was about to get out of bed.

Vexen was tense and stone-faced again as soon as his booted feet touched the ground. He didn't even look at Marluxia as he turned to make up his portion of the bed. "It's just not worth taking the time to change into pajamas."

"Then why not just sleep naked?"

Vexen turned a glare back up at him.

"Or at least in your underwear? I mean, that's what I do. I only didn't last night because I knew you'd have another freak-out."

Vexen tucked the last bit of the mattress cover down and turned away. "That would just be crude and undignified." Marluxia watched as he began to walk away. "I'm not stooping to your level."

"But isn't it uncomfortable, sleeping in your cloak like that? I can barely stand it."

What was with all the questions so early in the morning? Vexen was already getting irritated, and it didn't help that he was still tired and desperately needed his morning coffee. "Didn't anyone tell you that our uniforms are formed according to our personal preferences? If yours is uncomfortable in bed, then you must like it that way."

An image from his knowledge on Marluxia suddenly flashed through his mind, and the pickiness at the back of his neck intensified. Determinedly, he pulled away, striding over to a metal supply stand and fishing a comb out of its depths.

"Eh, I suppose that's true." Marluxia crawled to the edge of the bed and watched, with a little tug at his chest, as Vexen began to carefully comb out his long hair. He wanted to brush it so badly…but now wasn't the time for that. He had to keep on track…get him to tell him some more. "I prefer my clothes tight around my chest…it's hard to breathe with it on at night. So I suppose you prefer your clothes overly long?"

Vexen paused, the comb halfway down one clump of hair. Just what was he trying to get at by asking a question like that? He couldn't figure it out. "Well…yes. I prefer to have as much coverage as possible. I like the way it…feels." He hesitated over his own words. Really, why did he always like his sleeves and his coat long like that? He'd never really thought about it before. He supposed he just liked the feel of the long material swishing against him. But there was no reason to. He grumbled under his breath and frustratingly yanked the comb out of his hair again. Was the point of this exercise to make his poor, tired, logical brain short-circuit? …Because it was succeeding.

"That's all there is to it." Vexen slammed down the comb and turned to face his inquisitive pink mop-head, who was still grinning at him from the cot. "Now is that all you have to ask, or are there any other trivial facts that you desperately need to know right now?"

"Just one." Marluxia swung his legs over the edge of the bed, sitting firmly at its lip and staring up into Vexen's cold face. "Who is this 'Even' person? Because you were talking to them a lot last night."

Vexen's mouth dropped open, just a tiny bit. His breath had just been punched out of him again, with shock. "…I thought you were asleep."

Marluxia's devilish grin only widened. "I'm a good actor."

Automatically, Vexen's cheeks began to fire up again. That means he must've felt…me playing with his head…! He was going to have to be a lot more careful about that. But at least Marluxia was nice enough not to mention it.

Actually, he just really wanted to know who Even was, and he knew that if he mentioned Vexen's actions, they'd just get into an argument about it and never get back around to the subject.

Vexen sighed and forced himself to look away. He didn't really want to tell Marluxia about any of this. It felt too…personal. But he couldn't hide it now. He'd been unknowingly backed into a corner yet again. "…Even is my former self. My lighter half. My Other. It's spelled with two E's. Just mix that up and add an X. Simple, really. I should think you would've been able to figure that out."

Marluxia's narrow blue eyes widened slightly with curiosity. "Really…? But…you were talking to him. Like he still exists or something."

"Of course he still exists," Vexen replied, his voice getting slightly snippy. He was just getting sick of explaining all these silly things that shouldn't need explaining. "I'm here, aren't I? I'm a part of him."

Marluxia fell silent. He turned his gaze downward, looking into the shape of his own two legs, his fingers pressing into the white sheets. He was thinking about Lumaira. It was…really, really strange. He'd never thought of Lumaira like that. Thinking about him as still existing…even in the here and now. His mind was reeling. He certainly didn't think of Lumaira as himself…he thought of him as a previous emanation of himself. A previous life, a past identity, something over with, dead and gone. To think about him as still here…enough to talk to him… It just didn't seem right.

What does that…really mean? Marluxia suddenly found himself wondering. A tiny bit of panic was shooting through his system…at the very least, it was getting quite uncomfortable. Does that mean… If I had a heart…if I somehow managed to obtain a heart, through Kingdom Hearts or otherwise, does that mean I'd become Lumaira? That I'd turn back into him? I don't want to turn back into him! I always just thought…I'd still be Marluxia…just with a heart.

Vexen watched his long, reeling silence with a bit of interest. It was kind of fun sometimes, making his poor little mind spin with possibilities. But it had even taken him a moment to understand what was going on. He kept forgetting that his personal experiences were different. Different from everyone else's in the whole Organization, actually, except maybe for Xemnas's.

"I know…" he finally spoke. "You don't think about it that way. You'd never even considered it that way before. You don't want to think about it that way. But that's because you never knew yours."

Marluxia felt his physical-heart beat a little heavily then, inside his chest. He looked up, at last, and the whole mystery of it all was leaving him breathless as he looked back to Vexen's enigmatic face.

"Most everyone else doesn't, either, so there's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm the only one, really, that remembers…"

Marluxia waited, torturously, as Vexen slowly nodded, bringing one hand to his chest, as if brushing symbolically against the hollow heart-space in his body.

"I'm the only one who remembers being inside of my Other's heart…before I consumed it. He used to be able to hear me speaking to him. And we could communicate. I know him personally."

Marluxia's eyes widened even further. He was looking at Vexen now in another light…a new, unbelievable revelation…and he couldn't even breathe. It was like the door to some new, mysterious, deeper beyond was slowly opening before him.

Vexen harrumphed and crossed his arms, dispelling some of that atmosphere of mystery. "Of course, now, I don't know if Even really can hear me, from wherever he is. But I still like to talk to him sometimes, in case he can, and he is just incapable of replying. It's a little ridiculous, really, but it's just like a ritual to me. Nothing special."

Nothing special? Marluxia was absolutely stunned. When he'd begun asking Vexen about Even, he'd figured they'd eventually get off on some imaginary-friend teasing and bickering…he'd never imagined this. Suddenly, he was a little jealous. He wished he'd had that kind of connection to his Other…maybe he'd understand him better. Thinking he might, someday, be able to communicate with him…that there was another person with him, possibly this very second…

Meanwhile, Vexen's mind whirled, trying to come up with some way of getting off this subject, and quickly. Talking about this…even thinking about this was difficult, and he didn't want to reveal anything more about it. His conversations with Even were deeply personal and very important to him. Sometimes, he would tell Even things that he'd never in a million years tell anyone else. He was like his secret, personal confidant. Thank all that was holy in this universe that he hadn't told him anything of that nature last night! He made a quick mental note to never try talking to Even again while Marluxia was still anywhere in the general vicinity.

"It's ten o' clock," he announced, succinctly turning to retrieve a stack of reports for his latest project and beginning to calmly flip through them.

No response. Wow…amazing. Vexen wished he could stun him like this more often.

"It's ten o' clock," he repeated, this time a little louder, glancing up at Marluxia's stricken, slightly paled face. "I suppose I'm not getting any breakfast today?"

"Ah-!" Marluxia finally snapped out of his trance at "breakfast". He pressed one hand to his forehead, lifting his hair slightly and giving Vexen a rare view of his full face. "N-No! No, I have to go get breakfast! Wait here."

Vexen watched him, curiously, as he awkwardly made his way through the lab, not even bothering to fix his rumpled cloak or extra-frizzly hair. He was certainly going to be an interesting sight for everyone else at the mess hall now.

I need to get started on that darned favorite-food project, Marluxia resented. If I had stuff in my garden now, I could just go get it there and fix it up here. An image of himself flipping pancakes over a Bunsen burner suddenly flashed through his mind. Or maybe not. I spend way too much time in this stupid lab as it is.

"Don't you dare forget my coffee this time!" Vexen called after him. "It's your fault I'm all groggy in the first place!"

"Yes, sir," Marluxia replied, in a groan. At least, this way, he could pretend he hadn't slept much last night and explain away his unkempt appearance. This felt so strangely like a morning-after, even though nothing at all had happened.

But as Marluxia's slightly wobbly form disappeared past the large metal lab door, Vexen fished out his attraction research clipboard from where he'd stashed it under a test tube rack. "May become overly curious about object's personal history", he added, in his typical doctor's scrawl. "To the extent that other important appointments are forgotten."

(-)

Marluxia made the "favorite food" project his current priority that very night. To Vexen, though, it fit right in with his current "inquisitive" symptoms, and so he didn't mind telling him everything he liked. As difficult as it was, Marluxia refrained from saying or doing anything more to upset him…besides forcing him to go to sleep, as always.

Things weren't going so well lately. The emotional energy facsimiles were giving Vexen a lot of trouble, and he was constantly frustrated with their lack of progress. He'd tried just about every method he could think of for constructing them, but they always somehow dissolved or flew apart. Not even the first one was complete.

It was currently being stored in a round container that looked like some kind of high-security goldfish bowl, immersed in clear gel. The facsimile itself resembled a tiny jade green bead, though it wasn't solid, and if anyone tried to touch it, it would squish and pour apart.

Marluxia remembered, with distaste, how long it had taken for Vexen to even get it to keep its shape and all of its material together. However, his tests on it had indicated that it was missing some crucial element…presumably the one that would make it active. For now, it was just sitting uselessly in its gel—the empty husk, the dead body of something that should be alive.

The others were proving even more difficult. Plus, the Replica Project was also at an apparent standstill, since all Vexen had been doing for it recently was continuing to siphon his life force. Needless to say, he was acting snippier lately than he had been, especially since he blamed Marluxia for most of it.

"If you would just let me work through the night once or twice, maybe I'd actually be able to get something done!" he accused.

"And if you'd just been on a regular sleep schedule beforehand, you wouldn't even be having these problems," Marluxia rationalized. "You'd be able to work just as efficiently without all this coffee and junk."

Vexen usually came up with some other excuse and tossed the blame back at him, and they went at it for half an hour.

"You should take a break," Marluxia suggested, more than once. "Clear your head, get out of this stuffy lab. Come back to my garden for a little bit."

The look Vexen shot back at him clearly read, "No way in Hell am I setting foot in that infernal place again."

It was kind of disappointing. He'd hoped to one day get to see him relaxing amongst his flowers…lying in a soft bed of bluebells.

Maybe this is a wasted effort, Marluxia despaired one night as he was tending his newborn miniature cucumber patch—one of Vexen's favorite vegetables. I'm putting so much work into getting him for my own. I should be working on something else, like…raising my internal rank within the Organization. But hearts are the strongest source of power here…everyone covets them, everyone would fall under one who had the means of procuring hearts. And right now, Vexen is my most direct means of obtaining that power.

Of course, by now, Marluxia knew that he'd probably still come down to the lab on his own even if it weren't for that…even if it weren't for the contractual serum.

"Hey, why don't you just take this chemical thing out of us now?" he'd thought to ask once. "You know I'd come down here every night on my own, now; you don't have to force me."

"That may be true," Vexen replied, still working on something, as always, and not looking at him. "But I think it's best if I hang onto it…just in case."

Does he think I'm going to run off on him or something?

Vexen's crankiness lasted for nearly a week. He wouldn't even let Marluxia touch his hair again.

Still…at least it was satisfying, after the cucumbers were fully grown, to watch Vexen accept the cucumber salad he'd made for him without one word of protest. He really had some weird tastes, though…including broccoli, guava fruit, stewed cauliflower, and blueberry soup. Blueberries in soup? Just the thought of it made Marluxia's stomach turn. But Vexen ate it up like it was ice cream, and at least now he didn't have to listen to him whine and complain about the food he brought him.

But then… At last, one evening…something amazing happened, while Marluxia was grudgingly cleaning out the Heartless cages.

He'd been lost in thought while he wiped the sticky black gunk out of the cage walls with a soft cloth, trying to figure out how to get this thing to move on already. He'd already tried pestering Vexen about the attraction research and lamenting the fact that it was getting nowhere and that he had such a willing subject right in front of him, but Vexen just brushed him aside, saying that this was more important now, that he had to concentrate and he couldn't have that "distracting" him any more.

I should make something up, Marluxia concocted. Say that the attraction has gotten much deeper, and that…but that's kinda sort of true. Then I'll lie and say the attraction has disappeared completely! I'll say it's disappeared completely because he's barely been paying attention to me lately. …But he'll probably be able to figure out that I'm lying.

Marluxia reached into the cage that contained the small Blizzard Plant, and it complacently nuzzled against his fingers. It was really attached to him for some reason. Since its creation, Vexen had created larger copies of it and apparently set them loose in the world, to reproduce and develop on their own. The only other element that had been able to merge with the initial flower Heartless had been fire, forming a cantankerous Fire Plant in the cage next to it. Conversely, the Fire Plant hated Marluxia, and it always tried to singe his gloves whenever he so much as pointed at it.

"Hey, Blizzy," he whispered to the Blizzard Plant as it lovingly nipped at the end of his sleeve. "How am I supposed to clean your cage when you're all over me like that?"

Of course, "Blizzy" didn't pay attention at all and proceeded to try to wind its stem around his arm. It took a good five minutes just to wipe the back of the cage. Marluxia sighed as he closed its bars again, watching as Blizzy banged its head on them, trying to follow him. Somehow, the little ice-flower Heartless always reminded him of Vexen, even though it was a heck of a lot friendlier…and it again reminded him of his dilemma.

Vexen was once again off in his little study corner, bent over a metal desk, with his experimentation gear on, dead to the world. He was concentrating intensely on the tiny bead in its gel-jar, doing something with electric needles. The scowl twisting his face looked practically painful…it was oddly out of place with his cute little ponytail. His goggles magnified his squinty eyes.

Marluxia sighed. He wasn't kidding himself, actually…the attraction was kind of waning. His body had absolutely no reaction to this.

Vexen carefully moved the needles a little bit and cocked his head, scribbling down a few observations.

Really, Marluxia didn't mind him being all concentrated and scientific…sometimes he even liked to watch him work…but this was getting ridiculous. He groaned and resigned himself to the fact that he was going to have to slog through the rest of this day as usual.

His eyes lifted, towards the Fire Plant, rattling against the next cage, dreading any interactions he was going to have with it. He sucked in his breath and reluctantly began to reach up for the cage's latch…but before he could lay a finger on it, suddenly, an ear-splitting shriek tore through the silence.

Marluxia jumped with a little shot of adrenaline and instantly whirled around towards its source.

Vexen had jumped straight up from his previously crouched position over the table…his arms tucked in towards his chest, his eyes wide with shock, his face red with effort.

"…Eeeeeeeeeeee!" he shrieked again, jumping a little, punching his fists to the side. "Eeeeee, yah!" And then…to Marluxia's utter amazement…Vexen began to dance.

He hopped around in circles, twisting his body back and forth, pumping his fists, clapping his hands, shaking his hips, throwing his arms out, ripping the goggles from his face and twirling them around with one arm, then throwing them away and hopping back and forth from foot to foot, arms out for balance, grinning with apparent glee.

In the meantime, Marluxia crept closer and closer, intrigued by this strange new mood change out of nowhere. A smile inadvertently formed on his own face as he watched. Well. Problem solved.

Vexen didn't even notice him…he'd apparently forgotten he was still there at all. Marluxia reached the edge of the other side of the desk the same time Vexen turned his back, slapping his thighs and launching into something that vaguely resembled the Macarena. One of Marluxia's signature grins slid over his lips. "…Having fun there, Mr. Scientist?"

"-AAAUGH!" Vexen turned enormous, panicked eyes to him, screaming, turning and slipping mid-hop, his body tumbling to the concrete with a painful thump, papers flying up into the air around him.

A chuckle bubbled out of Marluxia's throat as he moved around the desk, peering down to view the damage. "Need a hand?"

Vexen's eyes were still stretched round, showing the whites on all sides, his face bright, his ponytail slipping out, as he sat in a messed heap on the floor. "W-w-w-w-w-where did you come from?"

"I've been here for the past hour and a half—where have you been?"

Vexen turned his face downwards, eyeing the pile of scattered papers he'd landed in. His body was all shaky from the force of the shock, his poor physical-heart pounding against his ribcage. This time, Marluxia had almost given him a heart attack. He'd been completely certain that he was all alone in the laboratory. If he'd known, he would've never done that. And now he had seen it. Vexen tucked his head even further down, shamefully. He should have had more control over his bodily reactions than that. Especially ones as useless and moronic as that.

Slowly, he pulled himself up to his knees, his face falling back into its usual frown. "…" Somehow, he couldn't say anything. Usually, at times like these, he'd make up something to explain it away, something to brush it off as nothing, maybe throwing in a few digs about Marluxia's intelligence. But there was nothing…nothing he could think of could attempt to explain this. He hated himself, both for being unable to explain and for doing something so stupid in the first place.

"Now where were we?" Marluxia teased, raising his arms and positioning them in front of his chest just like Vexen had. "Something a little like this…" He moved them in and out, then to the side, wiggling his butt a little, sticking one knee out.

"Oh, shut up." Vexen found his voice again as soon as he'd started making fun of him. He firmly lifted himself back to full height, yanking his hair out of its messy ponytail. "Don't be ridiculous."

"No, no, by all means, don't let me stop you!" Marluxia began to dance in place on his own now, baiting him. "It was just getting good! C'mon, now…"

Vexen deliberately scowled. "Stop that nonsense. There's no need of it."

"Really?" Marluxia rolled his fists, taking a few steps backwards. "Then why were you doing it? Surely, you never do anything there's no need for. You never do anything just for the fun of it, because you don't have fun."

Vexen's eyes followed, in irritation, as Marluxia twirled up close to his side.

"C'mon, Vexen, dance with me!"

He tsk-ed softly and turned his head away again, his curtain of hair falling over his face. "Not a chance in Hell."

"But that looked like fun! C'mon, dance, Vexen!" Marluxia grabbed his hands now, before he even knew it, forcing his fingers through his, and started pushing them in and out as he danced in place. Vexen only frowned deeper.

Marluxia swung his arms out wide, then swung them back in, until they were almost at eye-level. "Dance, snowflake, dance!"

With a little snarl of distaste, Vexen finally ripped his hands away. "That's enough, Marluxia."

"No. No, I don't think it is." Marluxia wouldn't give it up. He was seriously enjoyment-deprived, after all. "You won't dance with me, and I'm insulted. No one turns me down like that and gets away with it."

"Marluxia, that's enough!" Vexen finally reached out and forcefully pinned his arms down to his sides, as if he were scolding a child for being too rambunctious. "I admit that I was dancing, if that's what you want—I had forgotten that you were still here. It's funny, I know, it's probably hilarious to you, but I won't do it ever again in your presence."

Marluxia took a moment to compose himself. The tone in Vexen's voice now told him it was time to be deadly serious. "Why not?" He was truly curious. After all, it wasn't like they could actually feel the embarrassment or the joy or the humor. There was no real reason to do it, but there was no real reason not to do it either.

Vexen shot him a "wow, you're really dumb if you can't even figure out something this obvious" look. "Because it's ridiculous. You would use it to belittle me and make light of me and would think less of me for it."

Marluxia fell silent, thinking, as Vexen slowly eased up on him, letting him out of his grasp again. It still didn't make sense to him. "No…no, I wouldn't." Well, maybe I would make light of him with it…but I don't think less of him…at all.

Vexen paused in his step back towards the table.

"In fact, I think I probably think more of you."

Vexen raised an eyebrow, incredulously.

"You've been doing nothing but working for the past week or so, and it just suddenly got me really excited to see that. Lately, you've been showing me that…there's more to you than just science, and I…like that."

Vexen blinked. That's why…all that questioning…

He shrugged. "It's just uncomfortable. My body stiffens up if I try to do something like that in front of someone else. Even was cripplingly shy, you know, and his rampant anxiety is ingrained in my being."

Marluxia nodded a little. "Makes sense." It's that guardedness. That automatic defense mechanism. But I'm going to take care of that.

His attention turned to follow Vexen's gaze as he focused on the table. "So what was that all about, anyway?"

Finally, Vexen cracked a crazy little grin. "The emotional energy facsimile…it's complete!"

Marluxia glanced over with widened eyes to see the little green bead-ball bouncing slowly up and down in its container of gel. "Um…okay."

Vexen gestured to it, proudly. "What we have here is pure, concentrated, solidified, fake anger in a bottle."

"We have pretend rage in a bottle," Marluxia echoed, blandly. "Fascinating."

"It is!" Vexen snapped back at him. "A feat like this has never before been accomplished in the history of this universe's scientific knowledge. Even if it's only a model…" He gently reached out his hands, cupping them around his precious little container of fake anger. "This is the first step. Just think of this as one piece of a model heart. Finally…finally, finally, it's complete!" Vexen squeezed his eyes shut, his body twitching slightly as he reined in his reactionary excitement. "I can't believe it."

Carefully, Marluxia snaked one finger forward and brushed it against his left bang, catching a bit of his surprisingly warm cheek along with it. Vexen was too pleased with himself to mind. "Congratulations. Does this mean we can move on now?"

"…Yes." Vexen didn't seem to really know what Marluxia was talking about. "We can get started on the next one…the next piece of the puzzle. …I'm going to have you fetching the ingredients and organizing the data sheets again."

Marluxia smiled a little. "That's fine. And we can get back to the attraction research too."

"Yes, that too."

Marluxia could almost feel the tiny unknotting in Vexen's shoulder as just one little layer of his icy defense dissipated. He squeezed his hand, gently massaging that shoulder a little. It immediately re-froze, and Vexen shuddered out of his touch.

"You were cleaning the Heartless cages, weren't you? Are you finished?"

"No." Marluxia crossed his arms. "I'm not going near that Fire Plant. It's going to ignite my coat sleeve, and before you know it, this whole laboratory would go up in flames."

Vexen glared straight back at him, challengingly. "Well, you had better find a way of calming it down so that you can finish your job. Use your silly flower affinity. If you can't handle one little Heartless, I shudder to think of your performance on Organization-monitored missions."

Marluxia's eyes flickered. "I am quite well on Organization missions, thank you. You're the one who apparently can't handle them, since you never have any."

"No, it's just that Superior knows that my considerable talents would be best spent on something more worthwhile."

"Right, of course." Marluxia slowly made his way back to the cages, trying to delay this task for as long as possible. "Do you ever set foot outside this prison compound—I mean laboratory?"

"Stop trying to extend the conversation." Vexen crossed his arms and lightly tapped one foot. Darn. Sometimes, it was almost like he could see straight through him. Either that, or Vexen just didn't want to admit that he really never did leave the laboratory, except for required things like meetings.

Marluxia planted his hands on his hips. "Alright then, you might be sorry…"

And as he reluctantly stepped closer to the cage, part of him really wanted to do it…to set this whole place on fire, just to get rid of it. See what Vexen would do without his precious hideaway spot…without the Replicas existing anymore, to sap his life force. What would he be without his research, without his projects, without his comforting dimly-lit concrete home?

He imagined him just fading at the sight of it…blowing away in puffs of Darkness, curling out of sight. And that thought alone is what kept him from considering it any further.

(-)

Vexen could not believe what he was doing. That night, he was writing up a note sheet in the attempt to sort out his own confusion. Never before had he been so confused about something that he'd had to sit down and write about it. Fortunately, Marluxia wasn't here anymore, so he could do it in peace. He'd had to swear on the lives of his Replicas—which were more important than his own life, of course—that he'd get to bed by 2AM, and he'd had to threaten to put him in the ice-chair again to finally get him to leave, but at last, it was worth it. Now, he wouldn't have to worry about talking to himself—or talking to Even—while he tried to put his thoughts into the appropriate words.

"Hmmm…"

He'd already written "Liking XI?" towards the center.

"But I don't like him," he told himself. "He gets on my nerves. Quite literally. He makes me all jumpy and less composed." He jotted that down quickly while he thought.

But I shouldn't be. If I'm personally involved with my own subject, that would make any of my observations on him null and void, because they would undoubtedly be biased. But then, hating him would actually create a negative bias. I need to be entirely indifferent to him. …That's impossible with him…being the way he is.

Vexen scratched a little bit with his pencil, absently. But apparently, he likes me. Though that's purely a physical thing. It's purely a hair thing, really. It's only my hair he likes. He'd have no use for me if he could just chop off all my hair and carry it around with him. He's obsessed with power and controlling me. Which is seen in the way he always has to control my sleeping patterns, what and when I eat. And recently, he needs to know everything else about me, possibly so he can control that too. He'd already written up something like that in his attraction research log.

Vexen stared into the mostly blank page, with concentration. Somehow, he thought, that knowledge…should give him an angry signal. According to everything else he had documented, human beings hated being controlled by other human beings. But somehow, he didn't…mind the fact that Marluxia was controlling him, to small degrees.

It's…not bad, he thought. He even went out of his way to make the things I told him I liked to eat…it's not like he continued forcing me to eat things I despised. And he always disguises it as concern for my well-being. …Even if it is false, it's…nice. Vexen's eyes narrowed and he scribbled a note down on that point as well.

He looked up slightly from his work, speaking to his Other again. "I mean…I know you had…but Marluxia is so…pink. Though he does have an appropriate body. And it's never happened with me before. It's difficult, you know that."

There was no answer, of course, but he knew Even understood. Vexen sighed and jotted down another short note. This sheet wasn't really helping at all, aside from giving little boosts to his thought process.

At last, he wrote down his one coherent, absolutely true thought. "Being involved with Marluxia will spell disaster."

"We know each other well now"…that's true. Marluxia…as much as he irritates me…as much as he may be using me…he's the closest one to me now. It's…almost more comfortable…being myself around him. Even after he saw my stupid dance today, he didn't reject me. He didn't lose all interest in me. He's the closest thing I have now to…a friend.

Vexen shivered a bit. He didn't like thinking about Marluxia that way…as something…good…as someone who was really just looking out for him. He thought back to the last time Even had ever felt something akin to love for someone. That had been a disaster. He thought back to Aeleus, whom Even had considered a friend. They barely spoke to each other outside of work…though Vexen had been able to see that Aeleus had really cared about Even, even though Even didn't believe it. Xehanort…well, Xehanort had been close to Even, though neither of them really thought of him as a friend.

He's a friend, Vexen finally decided, though his teeth were grinding against the notion. Marluxia is a big part of my life now, and I can't undo that. I don't necessarily want to either.

Vexen took in a deep breath…and ripped the sheet of notes to shreds. There was no sense in keeping such sloppy and disorganized pontifications. Really, nothing had been accomplished during all of this…except that Vexen was now halfway convinced that Marluxia was his friend…and that he didn't have to be quite so guarded around him all the time. He should really give it some more in-depth thought.

But for now, it was almost 1:30, and he had to keep his promise and go to bed.

(-)

This was absolutely wonderful. Even had never before felt so light…so free. He couldn't believe it…someone was actually being nice to him…wasn't treating him like a little kid or fretting about him or laughing at him or asking him probing questions. They were just…there. Here. In the middle of the Radiant University Field…sledding.

He laughed out loud as his body careened down the central hill, spilling ungracefully out into the snow. A twenty-year-old young man with short purple hair came gliding down next to him, also laughing. This was so…fun. Even hadn't had this much fun in quite a while. He never wanted it to end.

"Haha," his classmate chuckled. "Sometimes spilling is the best part, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Even giggled back, his cheeks rosy with the cold, his chin-length hair spread around his face.

Everyone else always either avoided him or fussed over him. At fourteen years of age, he was the youngest person to ever attend Radiant U. And yet, for the first time since he'd come here, he was actually having a good time. He had…his first real friend here. He couldn't even feel the cold as the wet snow surrounded him, squishing up the sleeves of his coat and down his boots…because inside, he felt so warm.

His purple-haired friend got up off his sled and crouched over his spot. "Hey, Even," he spoke, playfully ruffling his hair. "Are you going to lie there all day or are we going to get back up there and try it again?"

Even looked back up into his friendly face and a wonderful feeling shuddered through him…something he'd never experienced before. "Hee," he giggled, pulling himself back into a sitting position. "Okay."

He smiled, looking back into the face of his friend…and suddenly…it looked absolutely stunning like that. Smiling, a tiny bit lopsided, falling snowflakes catching in fluffed purple locks.

And then, Even suddenly felt something. It was something new to him…but he knew what it was. He'd studied all about it after all. His cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red. His friend held out a hand, offering to help him up…but he couldn't take it. His mind was too confused…too scared.

This isn't supposed to happen…I can't…I'm not…but it is…but I'm not…I don't want to be…but…

And when he finally looked up into his face again, without any warning, his eyes flew open…and his abilities activated. He saw…he saw it all. Everything down this path.

He saw himself kissing him, he saw his shocked and fearful face, he saw himself explaining, he saw him leaving, he saw himself following him everywhere. He saw him yelling, complaining to the school, calling his mother. He saw himself crying, hiding in his room, deliberately hurting himself, his grades slipping, his councilors getting on his case, pain, oh, the pain.

All the color drained from Even's face, his eyes widened further, his body stiffened until he was a statue, as the visions continued to flash before his eyes.

He saw his mother withdrawing him from the school, screaming, crying, he saw her yelling the most hurtful things at him, wishing he'd never been born, that his genius was nothing if he couldn't even be a respectable human being, He saw her…banishing him from the house, sending him off to an orphanage, destroying every document she could that ever claimed he was her son. He saw himself crying, hurting, wishing he was dead.

Even screamed as the pain tore through him, twisting and wringing his heart, and everything else was gone—the happiness, the desire…the love.

He saw himself…hanging himself…on a pipe in the orphanage basement, his thin, ragged body swinging lifelessly in the grayness.

Finally, he managed to force his eyes shut as the visions warped back out of sight. His body shuddered and shivered with terror, small beads of sweat beginning to roll down his face and neck, freezing in the cold bitterness.

"Even?" The purple-haired young man said, his face soft with concern. "Are you okay? Should I take you to the office?"

"N-n-no!" Even screamed again, his eyes still tightly clenched shut. He couldn't look again—he knew he couldn't even chance to look at him again. He had to. He had to get away. He had to get away from this young man…he could never see him again. If he wanted to prevent that terrifying vision…that future from occurring, he couldn't even look at him.

Even got up, on trembling knees, and the guy was about to reach out to steady him, but he shuddered out of the way.

"Even…?" he softly questioned.

And with that, Even bolted from his spot, running in the opposite direction as fast as he could.

"Even!" the guy called after him, but he wouldn't allow himself to stop for even one second.

Tears flew from Even's cheeks as he ran through the snow, the cold air burning his lungs. But the excruciating visions were still vivid in his memory, and so he ran and ran, away from him…away from them. Never again, he told himself. Never, ever again. No one could ever find out... And so he ran and ran, not even knowing where he was going…but never, ever looking back.

(-)

It was around two o' clock, as usual, when Even fell asleep at his desk, smushing his cheek into the hard tan cover of a book. Papers surrounded his spread arm, a few printed charts threatening to slip off onto the floor. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night, and that was unsurprising. He hadn't meant to fall asleep—he'd just figured he'd rest his head for a few minutes, because his eyelids were getting so heavy, and his focus was faltering. It wouldn't do any good to sit there blanking out for minutes on end. He didn't realize he'd nodded off until an hour later, when something cold and wet poked at his exposed nose.

"Mmmph," he mumbled, drowsily. It poked him again, dribbling a few tiny cool drops down the side of his nose. Finally, Even snapped awoke, sitting up in his seat and looking around for the source of the cold, damp thing. His heavy eyelids raised in surprise.

Little blue-haired Ienzo was staring up at him, still in his baggy white lab coat. And he was holding two blue bars of slowly melting sea-salt ice cream in his hands. "…" Slowly, carefully, he held one out to him. "…Master Ansem gave them to me," he spoke in a quiet, innocent voice. "This one's for you."

Even was utterly stunned. He'd been mentoring Ienzo for a few weeks now, and the boy hardly said anything at all. He was quiet, yet attentive, asking questions when he was confused about something, and following his directions to the letter. Even had to admit, he was very, very bright for a boy his age. He praised his work after every session…though Ienzo never had any response. For some reason, he wasn't able to see anything surrounding him either…not his past, not his future. Sometimes, he wondered if there would ever be anything more than a strictly business relationship between them.

Even had decided, a very long time ago, to never love anyone again. He would never let anyone get so close to him…it was far too dangerous, and he could get terribly hurt…he didn't want to hurt anymore. He'd tried to freeze himself over, make himself entirely numb on the inside. A scientist couldn't afford to become too emotionally attached to things anyway.

But here…right now…looking into Ienzo's timid, hopeful face…he felt his frozen heart slowly melting. A wondrous, soft affection was blossoming in the center of his chest. He smiled, warmly, for the first time in almost a year. Gently, he reached out to accept the ice cream from him. "Why…thank you very much, Ienzo."

Ienzo's fears visibly faded away from his face, leaving a pleased little smile. "Y-You're welcome. I…figured you needed a break."

Even chuckled, lightly…like he hadn't in almost a year and a half. "That I definitely did. It's a good thing you woke me up before I ended up with a permanent book mark on my face!"

Ienzo giggled softly.

Even felt so…happy right now. Joy was slowly filling him, and it just felt so good… It felt so good…to be cared about, and to care in return.

Though one small part of his brain was throwing up warning signs, afraid of being hurt by this somehow…what if, in a few months, they got into an argument and Ienzo ran away from him? What if he yelled things to him…that he hated him, that he never wanted to be taught by him in the first place, that he never wanted to see him again?

But for now, he was just so happy, he didn't care. He allowed himself…to hope.

He quickly licked his ice cream and got to his feet. "Come on," he proposed, holding out his other hand. "Let's go out to the courtyard. We'll take a break together."

Ienzo smiled again…and took his hand.

And so…they did. They had a happy little break together, sitting on one of the garden benches side by side, just licking their ice creams and enjoying each other's company. It was a beautiful, treasured memory…and one that in time…Even would come to regret.

(-)

Ah. Things were getting back to…well, not normal, none of this had ever been normal…but at least settled.

The next day, Marluxia had an innate sense that nothing was in danger. He was sleeping in his own bed now, since the "I like watching you sleep" excuse wouldn't work on Vexen any longer…and besides, he didn't think he'd be able to take another night of sleeping with his clothes on. And at least now he didn't have to endure the uncomfortable atmosphere of the mess hall anymore, since he was nearly always gathering food from his garden in the morning and bringing it down to the lab. Also…he'd begun growing a few other special things in there… Marluxia eyed one particularly large wooden stalk as he passed by it to the French toast bush (of course, with his powers, he'd be able to grow French toast on bushes). But before he packed everything up to bring it down, he decided to grab a little something extra.

Marluxia made his way down to the basement, carefully ducking into a corridor to avoid Xaldin, who was heading up to the Grey Area. He was getting to be quite good at evasion tactics…Saïx had even noticed it in his recent mission performance. Once the brawny Nobody had passed, Marluxia slipped out to the stairway again and continued on his way.

Gradually, his mind began to wander. He'd been thinking about his Other a lot lately. He still couldn't stand Lumaira…he hated the way he'd acted, the things he'd done…or not done. But still, he could understand him. Somehow, he could feel the connection…this was possibly the only kind of feeling a Nobody could do. He could feel something in his body…this kinesthetic energy connecting it to Lumaira's. Sometimes he wanted to…break into one of his dances. The urge had been especially strong when he'd seen Vexen dancing. He'd wanted to do one of his dances…one of his routines. But doing something like that in front of Vexen might cause him to stop talking to him for a month…especially if he directed it towards him, which is what would unquestionably happen.

Still, a part of him was almost…envious. He wished he had a relationship with Lumaira like Vexen had with Even. The previous night, he'd tried to talk to him in the same way…but it was just…empty. It was so fake and forced—he gave up after only a few sentences.

"Pfft," he'd muttered. "Look at me talking to myself like some kind of mental patient."

But Vexen didn't sound anything like a mental patient when he talked to Even.

Forget it, he tried to tell himself. It's never going to happen to me. I don't have the…IQ for it, or whatever it is Vexen has that I don't. …I wonder if I'd be able to get that… Heh, well, if it's IQ, I'm sure not spending hours reading stupid math books to increase it.

"….Gah!"

Speaking of books… Marluxia was so deep in thought, he didn't even notice someone else moving towards him in the dim light of the basement corridor. With a jolt of shock, he nearly slammed right into Zexion, the dark-haired teen emerging from the shadows, three hefty books tucked under one arm.

Marluxia stumbled back, keeping a steady grip on the box of breakfast. Dammit. He hadn't been anticipating this at all. Zexion had never been down here before, at least not in the morning. He usually went to breakfast with Lexaeus, then hung around the Gray Area for a bit, then if he didn't have any missions, he'd hide himself away in the library to read or sit out on one of the balconies, practicing his conjuring. Marluxia's eyes flickered to the side, but he knew it was far too late to try to hide—besides, his hair would stick out, even in this darkness.

Zexion's one visible eye blinked curiously at him. "Number Eleven…? What are you doing down here?"

"Oh…" Fortunately, Marluxia's brain worked quickly enough to whip up a good excuse. "I was charged to deliver some apparent materials to the second basement laboratory." He shook the box in his arms a little, for emphasis. "If not for this task, I wouldn't have even come near this dull, rank little cave of yours."

Zexion slightly raised his eyebrow, but continued on, lightly stepping past him. "Well, if that is all, it would be best for you to finish it quickly and get back to the mess hall."

"I hate that accursed mess hall almost as much," Marluxia sniffed. "Everyone knows I've stopped eating there, because I simply can't stand it. It's much too cold and bleak. I'd rather take meals in my own setting."

Zexion paused a second, as if he was going to say something…then thought better of it and resumed his stride. "…Just make sure you're not wasting anything."

And before Marluxia could process this statement and respond, he'd disappeared back down the end of the hall.

Hmph, Marluxia mentally huffed, turning away from the sight and resuming his trek to the lab. What's that supposed to mean? Really, he'd wanted to ask what he was doing here—Zexion never came down to the library this early in the morning. The question was still lingering on his mind, even as he slid himself through the lab doors and looked around the familiar, cluttered room.

Vexen was already awake, naturally, tapping away at the keyboard of the far-left computer. "Good morning," he spoke, with all the cheerfulness of a half-dead hound dog. "You're a few minutes late."

"Zexion almost caught me outside," Marluxia explained, depositing the box on a table and sweeping all of its excess papers away. "I wasn't expecting him to be here this early."

"Oh, yes. He came in earlier to borrow a few books from my stores." Vexen automatically slid out of his seat and made his way to the table, as Marluxia set things out per routine. He sat, complacently, and bit into a proffered cracker as if this was the most natural thing in the world.

Marluxia glared deliberately at him as he took his seat, as if to say "and why didn't you warn me?"

"Hmm," Vexen mumbled. He finally noticed and met his eyes with a droopy, indifferent gaze. "Oh. Yes, he does that sometimes. I didn't tell you, did I?"

"He could've found out about our…meetings!" Marluxia cried. "That you and I are doing something! He would've told Xemnas! Why does this not concern you?"

Vexen scooped a small cooked egg into a bowl and began to eat it. "….I don't care."

This is really odd… Marluxia just watched Vexen a little closer…and noticed his slower movements, his drooping eyes, the dark splotches below them a little darker.

"Vexen!" He shot up from the table, crossing his arms. Vexen's shocked-open eyes followed him. "You didn't sleep last night! Don't try to deny it—I can tell! And after you promised!"

"No, no, I did." Vexen dropped his fork and raised his hands a little, trying to explain. "I just couldn't. I went to bed before two—but I woke up two hours later and couldn't get back to sleep."

Marluxia tightened his glare.

"Honestly, that's the truth. You see this, right? I wouldn't be this tired if I hadn't slept at all." He struggled to suppress a yawn.

Marluxia grumbled a little. He hated having to concede, but it did make sense. He plunked back down into his seat, uneasily. "Take a nap later," he commanded.

"A nap? I don't have time to be taking naps."

"Take a nap, or you don't get the present I brought you today."

"You brought me a present? What is it?"

"You don't get to find out unless you take a nap."

"You should at least tell me so I'll know if it's worth it or not."

"Nope, I'm not telling you. But it's something you wanted."

"Something I wanted…?" Vexen stared blearily past his cup of orange juice. Something I really do want, or something he thinks I want?

It was part of the whole "control" issue again…but this was…a good kind of control. No one else in all of Even's memories would have actually forced him to take a nap. He chuckled a little.

"Ah, alright. But no more than three hours. I have some more DNA testing for the Replicas that I need to get done today."

Marluxia had to agree to that, though the mention of the Replicas lit a small fire under his limbs. He wondered if part of the reason Vexen was so tired was because he'd already had to go siphon off some of his life force.

They both fell silent and went back to eating and thinking…in a rare moment of peace and agreement.

(-)

"It's a spiky fruit thingy! Ta-da!"

Vexen gazed down at the spike-covered little purple fruit Marluxia had just handed him with exasperation. "…This is what I wasted three hours of my day for?"

"It's from my garden!" Marluxia insisted. "Remember? The weird plants you'd never seen before? You wanted to study them? You won't come back to the garden anymore, so I just decided to bring one of the plants to you." He grinned a little. "You know…try to entice you. Most of my plants can't be so easily transported."

Vexen's green pupils slid up to look at him now, analyzing his motives. "Maybe," he told him at last. "Only if you're on your best behavior for the next week or so."

"Yes, Mommy," Marluxia feigned innocence. "I'll be a good little boy."

Vexen pinched his nose in disgust. Nevertheless, he told him that he wouldn't get a chance to study the fruit for a while—he was still doing DNA testing and altering for the Replicas, and that was going to take him probably the rest of the day to complete. There really wasn't much Marluxia could do to help either, besides just fetching supplies. Vexen had tried to explain a DNA data analysis output sheet to him before, but he was hopelessly lost on it. Aside from a few very simple calculations, he really couldn't do anything on the actual project at all.

And so, for the first hour or so, Vexen had him testing his own fruit.

"Y'know," he complained as he extracted some of the juice and pulp, laying it in a little glass dish. "I gave this to you so that you could research it, not so that I could research it for you."

"Would you rather be cleaning out the seventh storage closet?" Vexen replied.

"No." Marluxia grumbled. Though, once the fruit was sufficiently dissected, and its parts saturating under substance-scanning machines, he moved behind Vexen at his workstation to watch the progress.

It looked like nothing to him—just a bunch of random numbers and symbols and children's scribbling. But Vexen knew exactly what he was doing as he carefully went over the sheet and diagrammed out which sections should be replaced or moved, and what with.

"This is coming out a little differently than I had expected," he mumbled. "Though I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, considering that this is all I have. The important thing now is just making sure it works…"

Marluxia slipped off his gloves and gently slid his hands up into Vexen's hair, massaging his scalp.

"…Marluxia…what are you doing?"

He grinned again, shrugging gently as he worked his fingers through the blond strands. "I dunno. Trying to stimulate those brain cells." He pressed on his head a little deeper. "Think, think…"

Vexen pulled his hands straight off his head, leaving his hair a poofy mess at the top. "You're probably killing them rather than stimulating them. And don't you remember what I told you? You have to be on your best behavior. That includes not touching me if I haven't agreed to it."

"But what about the attraction research?" Marluxia dramatically whined. "It hasn't gotten anywhere lately. And I'm all done with the fruit, so there's nothing else for me to do… that doesn't involve physical labor, thanks."

Vexen sucked in his breath. He knew Marluxia was playing with him and once again trying to manipulate him, and he knew that, once again, it was working. But it was true…he hadn't gotten anywhere with the attraction research lately. And he wanted to, despite all the blaring red warning sirens going off in his mind now.

"You have to ask me first," he decided. "And if I say no, that means no."

Marluxia put on his best pout. "Aw, that's no fun. You're just going to say no to everything."

But Vexen just ignored him, resuming his scrutiny of the data sheets.

"Can I…give you a massage?" Marluxia asked, after a moment. "I've wanted to try that for a while, but you wouldn't let me last time."

Vexen deliberated for a moment in silence. "…I suppose so."

And so, Marluxia leaned over a little, cupping Vexen's shoulders in his hands and softly kneading them, through the thick material of his coat. A minute in, he bent his head down, watching the illegible pencil marks fly across the papers. He felt another little devious grin stretching onto his face. He enjoyed this so much… After a while, he could almost feel the tensed, tight little muscles at the base of his neck loosening just a bit. He moved down to knead between his shoulder-blades. This took quite a bit more work—Vexen was very, very stiff here, and he could feel his rod-straight spine between his hands. But gradually, though Vexen didn't even realize it himself, his muscles were relaxing and unwinding…suddenly, he was more comfortable in his seat, though he didn't give it one second's thought. Marluxia only continued to beam with pride as he felt his rigid, icy layer gradually falling away, piece by piece…becoming putty in his hands.

He leaned in a little closer, almost on autopilot, and whispered into his ear. "I want to try something…will you let me?"

"Hmm?" Vexen was barely aware of Marluxia anymore at all. He was utterly concentrated on his work, comfortable, relaxed, and "in the zone", apparently.

"May I try something?" Marluxia softly asked again.

"Huh…?" Well, it wasn't a no.

Marluxia carefully leaned his face in closer…and pressed his lips to Vexen's left cheek. It was hard and sharp and wasn't pleasant at all.

"Ah-!" At last, Vexen popped out of his trance, his eyes flying open, his body jerking back, his cheeks instantly flaring up.

Marluxia grinned. This was what he'd been hoping for. For a moment, it looked like Vexen was about to fly into another crazed panic. His chest heaved as he desperately held his composure together.

"Wh-what did…? Why…? I didn't…say you could do that!"

"But you didn't say I couldn't," Marluxia teased. "I thought you might blush like that again, and I was right."

Vexen's blush deepened. "It's…it's just because of how utterly foolish you're acting. Something is seriously wrong with your brain."

Marluxia quickly pecked him again, and his face was glowing so much now, he was trying to hide it in his hair. He chuckled. "Haha, you're so cute."

"…Forty-three-year-old men are not cute, Marluxia."

"No, maybe not. But twenty-six-year-old men trapped in forty-three-year-old bodies who act like they're fifteen are."

It took Vexen a few moments to recover. Memories and the memories of feelings were swirling through him. He…kissed me, he thought, unbelievably. It was just a cheek kiss, but…I never thought he'd ever…

He pinched his lips together, concentrating and trying to stop his body from going haywire. "…I need to document this." With swift, trembling hands, he grabbed his attraction notebook out of a side drawer, flipped it open and began to jot something down.

Marluxia bent over, reading aloud over his shoulder. "Cheek kiss—7:38PM. Occurred after a massage, by surprise. Subject calls object "cute", ignoring factor of object's age and physical conditions. Motive must be ascertained. Cheek slash hair, something scribble something massage, something instance 3…this truly is fascinating, I'd like to take a look at the rest of those notes."

"This is my own personal research—as the subject of the experiment, allowing you to look at the results could create certain flaws in any further observations." Vexen snapped the notebook closed. Thinking logically and rationally again had completely calmed him down—and to Marluxia's dismay, re-frozen and re-tightened up all of his muscles.

"Okay, you've had your fun for now. That's plenty enough attraction research for today."

But Marluxia, as usual, wasn't quite ready to give it up so easily. There were a few things…a few little details he wasn't satisfied with. He forced his voice to go lower…serious and inquisitive. "Though I wonder…"

He could feel the sting of Vexen's acidic eyes following him as he moved his index finger gently closer to his cheek. He rubbed it a little, almost tenderly.

"Why does this bother you? Why does it bother you so much when I touch you?"

"That's obvious." You could practically hear the glare in Vexen's voice. "Because your touch is utterly repulsive to me."

"But why do you blush like this?" Marluxia had to force his mouth muscles not to automatically pull into a smile. Vexen's cheek was still dusted pink, and it was getting slightly darker as he rubbed it. "It's not like you can feel the embarrassment."

Vexen's ticked-off expression remained firmly intact, despite his flushed face. "Simple. When one feels threatened, stress chemicals in the body increase, causing the physical-heart to beat faster, which pumps more blood through-"

Marluxia quickly pressed a hand to his chest, halting him mid-sentence. He could feel the pounding, even through Vexen's thick coat. "Hmm. You're right." The grin broke out over his face automatically now—he couldn't control it. "It feels like you're about to have a heart attack. You feel that threatened by me?"

"It's just a survival instinct!" Vexen snapped, maybe a little too quickly. "Anything making contact with my body could potentially harm it, and so it is making itself ready to retaliate in an instant's notice!" He whipped around in his seat again, leaving Marluxia stroking the air. "And if you don't mind, I am trying to-"

"But I still don't understand." Marluxia was really just being peevish on purpose now, but he couldn't help himself. "The whole touching thing. Is it…that you prefer females?"

"I-" Vexen's face was bright red again, and this time, he could even hear the pounding of his own physical-heart in his eardrums. He pressed hard into the sides of his head, just trying to get it to stop. "I'm working here! Please, for the love of Kingdom Hearts, will you just let me get back to work?"

"That doesn't answer my question."

Vexen's body was reeling out of his control again, and a shudder ran through it as he forced it to calm down and not explode. Why do I put up with this all the time? …I must be a masochist.

"Well…at least I know you for some insane reason, have an affinity for wrinkly old men."

Marluxia leaned, comfortably over the chair, for an instance, channeling one of Lumaira's "stances". "I happen to be bisexual, actually, thank you."

Something was…odd, though. It was strange, Marluxia thought…to hear Vexen call himself a "wrinkly old man". For all he'd known before, Vexen didn't have the slightest problem with aging at an accelerated rate. He always scoffed and said he didn't give a rat's ass about his appearance or what other people thought of him. Yet just now… He'd have to let it slip by for now, but that wouldn't stop him from bringing it up again some other time…maybe later tonight.

Vexen could feel his hands trembling against his forehead. He should've known things like this would eventually come up if he was around Marluxia for this long. Again, he was going to trap him into revealing things that he never wanted revealed. There was no other way around it.

"Tell me and I'll leave you alone," Marluxia spoke again, as if putting Vexen's thoughts into concrete words.

No way around it…

He sucked in his breath. His entire body was trying to reject his next actions with everything it had, pulling away instinctually, once again automatically trying to protect itself. But he couldn't. He had to just…push through it.

"I…" Vexen turned slightly, his head resting in one hand, as if he had a splitting headache…which, in fact, he could feel one coming on. "I'm…I'm homosexual…actually…well, Even was."

A pause. Marluxia at least decided to grant him the dignity of a quiet moment after this admittance.

He relaxed his stance and pulled back, crossing his arms. "…Does Zexion know that?"

Vexen chewed into his bottom lip, so hard that it almost started bleeding. "…No," he finally responded, through a mouthful of lip skin. "No one…does…but not anymore, huh?"

Jovially, Marluxia reached forward and clapped him on the shoulder. "Well, congratulations! Shall I throw you a coming-out party?"

"Just—just shut the hell up and leave me alone! You promised you would!"

"Yes, yes. Go on and finish your little science project now that you've outed yourself. I'm quite satisfied."

Vexen grumbled and muttered to himself again as he angrily calculated a couple of extremely complicated equations.

God, he's so high-strung… A little tug came at the edges of Marluxia's brain as he forced himself to turn away and leave him his peace for now. But at least he knew this was definitely getting somewhere.

He chuckled under his breath as he teasingly poked some of his excess fruit mush in a Petri dish. I know something else now that no one else knows. The pink-orange glop bounced like slight rubber over his metal instrument. Vexen's so uncomfortable with his sexuality, though. It's going to take forever before he openly accepts it. And we don't have forever. A little pouty frown tickled his mouth. It seems like he's uncomfortable with…himself.

Suddenly, he was compelled to turn his head again, letting his gaze linger on Vexen's back as he hunched firmly over his desk. Again…just for a minute…he'd given him a little peek at what lay underneath. Though it might not seem like it on the surface…Vexen was opening up to him. It was like he had finally accepted him.

Marluxia cracked a private grin when he remembered…how surprised he'd been to feel the soft tickling of Vexen's hand ruffling his hair in the middle of the night. It was something he knew he wouldn't forget for a long time to come…that first little…something.

Honestly, he could care less if Vexen liked him back or not…he was going to have him either way. But, you know, if he did… Marluxia thought, as he forced himself away again. …It sure would make things a lot easier…and more fun.

(-)

It was one of those times again. So freakin'…quiet.

Marluxia sat slumped against the end of a cold metal desk, blowing on his bangs, absently. He'd finished printing out the chemical test results from the fruit almost an hour ago, and Vexen hadn't even looked at them. Apparently, he had finished the Replica work by now and was doing something with the research for his next emotional energy test sphere thingy. Well, he had attempted to explain what he was doing, but Marluxia could barely understand a word of it…something about micro-particles and the conversion of matter and compatibility. Having mastered anger in a bottle, he was apparently moving on to getting joy in a bottle.

How the hell does he expect to get joy next? Anger, at least, he can understand. Happiness…he doesn't even know how to display it. Excitement, yes, but…well, there was that whole dance routine…but happiness is…beyond that.

Marluxia twisted one scraggly lock of his hair around his finger as he listened to the lulling sound of flipping pages. But…really…do I know any better?

He lowered his head and delved into his memories, trying to search for a time when Lumaira had been really happy. What had made him truly, unquestionably happy? Well…being with Glenn, naturally. Being…outside. Being free, more specifically. That had only happened a few short times in his twenty-two-year lifespan. But the same didn't seem to hold true for his Nobody self. Being with Vexen didn't give him "happiness" signals. It did something to him, for sure, but that was just…the attraction.

I wonder what made Even happy, Marluxia tugged his hair clump out straight. And if it's the same for Vexen. Of course, if he tried to ask him, he'd just say something like "it would make me happy if you'd just disappear and stop asking me such preposterous questions". He lowered his head closer towards his knees, almost dejectedly.

"…Marluxia?"

Immediately, he was sitting bolt upright again. He twisted around to his knees instantaneously, grabbing the end of the desk and poking his head above it. He didn't even really know why he was so eager—it was just surprising. Vexen was rarely the one to break the silence of his own concentration, and especially to get Marluxia's attention.

"I…may need your help with some of this."

And now admitting that he needed help…from him? For once, Marluxia was too stunned to even respond.

Vexen sighed, irritably. It was obvious that he really didn't want to say this, but it was something that had to be done. "It seems your…our attraction research will be greatly beneficial in this next step. While it does not correlate exactly, it is possible that I could use pieces of those trends as part of the joy equation. I…didn't think it would reach into other areas of study entirely."

Marluxia cocked his head a little, smirking back. "I'm proving to be a lot more useful than you'd thought, aren't I?"

"…Blah." Apparently, Vexen had stopped even trying to come up with witty comebacks. He was looking kind of tired, Marluxia noticed, probably from the lack of sleep the previous night. He softened his expression then, looking up at him with slightly widened eyes. Vexen glared back, unreadable, aside from the tiredness.

"Mm…pffwaahh!" Thump!

All of a sudden, Marluxia had tried to leap up to his feet…only he hadn't expected the floor to be so slippery. His feet had flown out from under him, leaving his head to jerk backwards, his entire body unexpectedly tumbling to the ground.

"Urrrg…" he grumbled as he began to pull himself up again. But then…something even more unbelievable happened.

"Ahuhuhuhuhuh!"

Marluxia scrambled up towards the source of the strange high-pitched sound…to gape in wonderment when he found Vexen…laughing.

"Huhuhuh...hoohoo…ahuhuhuhuhuhu!" His body was shuddering, gripping his abdomen, obviously trying his hardest to hold it back, but completely failing.

Marluxia blinked, letting the incredulity wash over him. "What…the heck is that?"

"Ahuhuh…excuse me…hoohooheheh…just a…huhuh…muscle spasm…ahoohoohoohoohoohoo!"

Suddenly, just the sound of that funny noise made Marluxia want to start laughing too. "That…is the silliest, most annoying laugh I have ever heard."

That statement somehow made Vexen laugh even harder. He squeezed his body, rocking back and forth in his chair.

"Heheh…" Marluxia chuckled. This was kind of…nice, his mind thought. He wanted Vexen to keep laughing…to keep enjoying himself like this. And even more so, if he could be the cause of it.

"I'm going to try something else now," he announced, another devious smirk breaking out. Vexen was still convulsing with runaway giggles and he didn't even really notice…or have the capacity to try to stop him.

Without a second warning, Marluxia pounced…creeping his fingers around Vexen's body and tickling. And, as it happened, it was also a well-kept secret that Vexen was very, very ticklish.

"Hoohoohuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!" he half-squealed, kicking his legs against the relentless spasms. He laughed and laughed as Marluxia mercilessly tickled him all over, pounding a fist against the table, trying to gasp for air. "S-S-S-St-op!" he managed to choke out at last. "M-M-Marluxia, s-stop! Huhuhuhuh! S-Someone…'s going to hear and…hihihuhuhuh, wonder what's going on!"

"Why?" Marluxia teased, grinning against the top of his head, never letting up on the tickling for a minute. "Isn't it perfectly ordinary for you to have fits of maniacal laugher when you're alone down here, you crazy scientist?"

Vexen laughed again, but this time, he wriggled and finally managed to squirm out of Marluxia's grasp, immediately popping out from the chair and dashing towards the safety of a storage cabinet.

"Hey!" Marluxia called, tauntingly. "Just where do you think you're going, you?"

In no time at all, Marluxia had caught up again and tackled Vexen to the ground in another tickle-attack. His high-pitched, creepy squeak of a laugh was piercing against his eardrums again instantly. Marluxia felt laughter bubbling out of him too, though he could barely hear it over that infernal noise. Vexen fought and tried to squiggle away from him again, but Marluxia caught the end of his long cloak and pulled him right back.

Vexen himself didn't even really know what he was doing—everything was just sort of happening. Sensations were overloading his system and he could barely think to even try to rationally process them. Though something in the back of his brain told him that what he was doing could be potentially construed as flirtation, he couldn't stop it. Running and hiding behind tables, giggling, making Marluxia chase him around the lab. He kicked a few of his own notebooks once, even knocked over one of his own bottles…but his insane body just wouldn't stop. Everything…didn't seem real.

By the time it all came to an end, it was almost midnight, and Vexen was lying face-down on the lab cot, utterly exhausted, with Marluxia sitting next to him, lazily petting his hair.

"Hmmmmml," he vaguely groaned into the sheets, voice muffled. "That was…the worst muscle spasm I've ever had."

Marluxia rolled his eyes. "A muscle spasm. Riiiiiiight."

"It is. It's a physical reaction, causing your lungs to-"

Marluxia began trailing his fingers down his spine, which he could feel, of course, even through the coat material.

"Don't you dare." Vexen pulled himself up at last, giving Marluxia a deathly serious warning glare. "I will freeze your hands off."

Marluxia materialized a little daisy in his fingers now, and tickled it against Vexen's nose. "Oh, you're so cute."

Vexen scowled. "What did I tell you about calling me cute?"

"That you think you're not cute because you're old."

"Indeed. I don't think it—it's a fact."

"Oh, really? You can prove it, then?"

"Of course. What most people find attractive is symmetry—average. Average height, average weight, features neither too big nor too small, average age, smoothness of texture…"

"But we're far from being 'most people', you know, Vexen."

Vexen finally turned away from the annoyingly taunting little flower tickling his face. "You're just some sort of abnormal mutation."

Marluxia dropped the daisy to the bedcovers…and softly began to move closer, all on his own. It…was different. Something was different now. Open. That whole strange, otherworldly tickling escapade had left something in its wake…a kind of comfort. An unexplainable sense that…it was okay. He let it envelop him and take him wherever it wanted to.

Then, for the third time that day…Marluxia's lips pressed against Vexen's cheek, soft and tender.

A little shiver ran through Vexen's body…but somehow, he knew it was the good kind. "Mmm." He felt his heart pounding faster again, his cheeks flushing as he shifted his gaze down into the mattress. But other than that, he didn't say a word.

Marluxia chuckled a little, quickly trailing a finger down his cheek before pulling away. "Getting used to it? You should be. I have an inkling that this attraction of mine is only going to get worse. And it's your own fault, you know."

"I know," Vexen muttered, through clenched teeth. "This is getting to be an issue." He weakly raised one shaking hand, as if reaching for his distant desk. "I need to…make a detailed report of this…anomaly."

Marluxia immediately reached up and forced his hand back down. He was still much stronger than him right now. "No," he insisted. "You should get some rest now. You still need to make up for last night. You can do that in the morning."

"But…I might forget by then." Even Vexen knew that he was just playing now…he knew he was going to be forced to go to sleep, whether he wanted to or not.

"Well, if you forget, then I'll just have to show you all over again, won't I?" Marluxia hadn't meant for those words to sound quite so seductive, but…it just slid out.

He gently, yet firmly pushed him down into the mattress. "Sleepy time now. You can have all the sciencey time you want tomorrow while I'm gone."

"Hm." Vexen closed his eyes. He was extremely tired, after all, and right now…he didn't even mind. He was enjoying all this attention, as much as he would never admit it.

Though Marluxia resented having to do this with his clothes on, he really just…wanted to stay tonight. Everything was so comfortable…it hadn't been like this really ever before. He leaned in and kissed Vexen's forehead before settling down next to him.

"Don't…say you're a wrinkly old man," he muttered, almost to himself. "You're beautiful."

Silence.

"…What?" Vexen's eyes popped open again. Just as he'd been comfortably clearing his mind and trying to drift off to sleep, Marluxia had to say something weird out of nowhere.

"I said…you're beautiful." Marluxia stirred, glancing up when he felt Vexen's body stiffen up next to him. "Why would that bother you? It's a compliment."

"Because it's a blatant lie."

He could almost feel him growing all cold and resistant again under his hand.

"What makes you think that? I wouldn't be attracted to you if I didn't think you were beautiful. Well…I guess I kind of didn't before, but…it's changed. It's a development."

Vexen was just too tensed up to relax again now. "You're trying to get me to allow you things faster. You're trying to over-compliment me because you know I'm starved for attention and I'll grasp at anything positive anyone has to say about me. But you know, outlandish things like 'beautiful' aren't going to work."

The coldness seemed to be seeping in through Marluxia's skin as he thought about it. He moved his gaze down, trailing along the sleek black line of Vexen's side. "Do you…really not like yourself that much?"

Vexen gave off a small "hmph" and turned his face. "I like myself perfectly well. I'm the most brilliant scientific mind this world has ever seen. I know and understand more than any of you ever will. I'm courteous and loyal. But I am not physically attractive, and that is entirely obvious."

Marluxia didn't like hearing him talk like this. He had hoped for more of that cuteness…more of that shy blushing and mumbling "do you really think so?" Instead, Vexen was just being all stubborn and intractable about it. This was even worse than he'd thought.

He gently reached up and stroked a piece of his hair, but he was no longer in the mood and just twitched away.

Marluxia sighed. Ah well. One step forward, two steps back. But at least it gave him something to think about, and he did love thinking. Already, his plotter's mind was planning out things to try tomorrow, courses to take next, ideas, hopes for the future…before his nonexistent world went black.

(-)

"You need to understand. Please. Listen."

There was no getting through to him. Even's body was twisting this way and that, helplessly trying to break his grasp. He was a mess, his long hair matted and frazzled, his thin body continually shuddering, his face pale as a ghost and streaked with sticky dried tears.

Aeleus held him clamped to his wide chest, the only pillar of stability in this wracked scientist's slowly crumbling world.

Something was assaulting his mind now, taking it over and blotting out all of his comprehensible thought. Still, the stalwart Apprentice had to make an effort. He would try his hardest to get the message across…to the man who had once been his friend. Who could still be his friend.

"Even. Please, listen to me. He was trying to help."

"All he ever wanted to do was help!" Even's voice was wild, insane, his vocal chords stretched tight and high. "That's all he ever wanted! All he ever, ever wanted…!" He thrashed again over his solid, muscled chest, but Aeleus held tight.

"Even. Listen. He was trying to save you."

"I don't need saving!"

"He did it because he wanted to. Because he loves you."

"HE LOVES ME AND I DESTROYED HIM!"

Suddenly, Even tore away, with a crazed, despaired burst of wild adrenaline, clawing, biting his way out. Aeleus looked on, his face as always stolid…though a part of him deep inside was wavering in sorrow.

Hot, angry tears poured out from Even's eyes, bathing him in an oppressive heat. A sharp, painful breath shot into him. "Ienzo…Ienzo loved me…and I…I loved him…a-and I…I destroyed him."

"Even." Aeleus repeated his name, gently, trying to get him to come to his senses. It was painful just to watch him like this. "Please. Listen to reason." He carefully held out one large, sturdy hand. "Ienzo is fine. He still loves you. You haven't 'destroyed' him. He will be just fine. He…he did that because…he saw how much you were suffering. He wanted to share the burden. He didn't want you to go through this alone. You don't have to go through this alone, Even."

For a moment, Even was silent, just standing there, letting the tears fall, tiny reflective beads against the cluttered gray lab floor. His arms automatically wrapped around himself, trying to hold himself from shuddering violently to pieces.

"…Yes," he finally whispered. "Yes, I do." His heart throbbed within his chest, and now, he knew why Dilan had hated his so much. "I don't want…any of you to get hurt again."

"We won't." Aeleus was almost begging now…a tone he almost never used. But he had to do this, not only for Even, but for Ienzo…for everyone, really.

"N-N-No. It doesn't matter…what I do." Even's twitching fingers jerked up around his head, pressing in, trying to keep it from exploding. "Everything…everyone in my life…I only end up hurting them! I destroy…their lives. All the time! All the time!"

He was starting to lose it again. Desperately, Aeleus held out his arms, ready to catch him or lunge forward to stop him if he did anything sudden and volatile. "It's not your fault, Even."

"Don't you realize? THIS CAN NEVER BE UNDONE!"

Even shrieked, his body violently convulsing. The scene…the memory was replaying itself on the insides of his eyelids, in the drums of his ears. He would never, ever be able to forget. It would haunt his dreams for the rest of eternity. The stretching, creaking of skin, the crackling, popping of bones, the shivering, bubbling mass of human flesh…

He watched, over and over, as little Ienzo leaped out in front of him, taking the full power of the blast, the yellow light beams cutting straight into his small body…and he only tumbled backwards, powerless to stop it. He screamed, yelled, tackled him by the legs and tried to drag him out of the machine's reach. But it was too late. It was always too late. He felt, with a horror so real it stung his chest even now, as underneath his arms, his Ienzo's little body began to grow and twist itself…

"Even…he's okay," Aeleus tried to cut through. "He's perfectly healthy—you saw for yourself. He's just…not a child anymore. …he's never been a child, really."

"I…" Even was starting to choke on his own tears. They were dripping into his mouth, constricting his throat even further. His next sentences were croaked out, torturously. "I never wanted…any of this. I never wanted…anything to happen to him. N-N-N-No. I-I will…never…get so close. I will…n-n-never…hurt him again."

Suddenly, Even's body gave a powerful shudder…and to Aeleus's utter shock, raised his frazzled head again…to reveal a wide, eerie, crazed grin.

"You will have to forget." His voice was just as panicked and maniacal…though this seemed like a different kind of mania. "We'll make you forget this Program even exists! We can do that! We'll wipe your memory clean! ….Aiugh!"

Even convulsed again, falling to his knees. His expression had returned to its previous agony.

Aeleus couldn't help but feel a little bit of something cold and uncomfortable sliding through his chest. No… It couldn't be… Was this…

Even had recently told the others…that he had another person living inside of him. An "Other Self" who sometimes spoke to him in moments of weakness. Most of the other Apprentices only laughed it off, saying he was crazy. Braig and Dilan had even had a running pool of bets on when Even would go insane first. But Aeleus was one of the few that fully believed him.

Even was, after all, a clairvoyant. Everyone knew he could see things…energies, entities, connections in the world that lie hidden away, undetected by anyone else...bits of the future, the past. His Sight had been failing him lately, slowly faltering and fading out, which was why he'd never been able to anticipate Ienzo's actions. But…if he said he'd communicated with this "Other Self" of his…Aeleus believed him. Perhaps…it was there. Perhaps it was whispering to him, toying with him this very moment.

"Even…" Aeleus moved solidly forward, reaching out. All he wanted to do was just hold him, stabilize him, calm him, get it to all go away. He couldn't stand seeing his friend suffering…suffering in his own mind, and not being able to do anything about it.

But as soon as he even got close, Even tore away again, desperately. "D-DON'T TOUCH ME!"

For a moment, even Aeleus's ever-fixed face contorted…into one of deep-set sadness.

And that, finally, was what caught Even's attention and got something through to his overwhelmed brain. He looked up, green eyes puffy and bloodshot, yet…regretful. "A-Aeleus…I'm sorry…but I cannot associate with you anymore."

Aeleus's silence seemed to speak for him. Why not?

"It's too…dangerous. I-I'm not…well."

Aeleus's lips moved slightly, as if he were about to say something, but he never got the chance.

Even's eyes moved to the floor. His shaking had at last begun to abate, though he was still holding himself tightly. "Please…just leave. Please…don't try to change it. Just go. I want…to be alone."

Naturally, Aeleus was extremely reluctant to go. He couldn't just leave Even here…where he might descend even further into the Darkness that was taking over his mind. But what choice did he have?

It was a few long, painful moments of silent thought battles…before Aeleus finally turned…leaving behind one of his closest friends in Radiant Garden, leaving the Darkness to devour his soul. He was already lost, he silently grieved. He'd been lost…for a while now.

But even as the small mountain of a man gradually disappeared into the murky distance, Even took comfort. He, at least, would be saved, even if he hadn't been able to save Ienzo.

A tiny smile graced Even's lips as he let the last of his tears dry. Never again, he promised. It will be okay. Never again. Soon, I will never be able to feel love again.