Starless Night 星のない夜- Chapter 6
降りしきる雨に濡れ
凍えてゆく感覚もなく
夢の中彷徨って
芽を開く時を待つ
光に照らされるまで
I soak in the continuous rain
My freezing senses cry
I wander about in my dream
I wait for the time when sprouts open
until I am illuminated by the light
The clock ticking loud. It was an hour before midnight. Aggy and Sujk were still practicing the notes for their new songs at the studio. The other staffs had already left. Aggy still wanted to continue. Sujk gave his full support as this was a good sign for their band to make a comeback after hiatus. They were the rhythm team anyway. Bass with drums.
After a while they decided to resume tomorrow. Sujk started to pack his set. He wonder if he could leave his drums set here. So he checked on the room timetable for tomorrow. Aggy sat on the chair while looking at the music sheet. It was not long when Sujk came back into the room with a can of beer and cookies.
"Leda will like this song.. Thanks Sujk!" Aggy looked at the unfinished lyrics. He decided to give it to Leda. He wanted to show that he was able to compose a song too. Leda had gone through a lot to ensure their band became this successful. He had sacrificed so much for Deluhi.
"The lyrics is good.. lovely.. describing Leda.." Sujk agreed, looking at the piece sheet while munching some cookies.
Aggy smiling imagined Leda. Suddenly his phone buzzing on the table.
A message came in.
He reached for it and looked at the screen. It was an unfamiliar number. He flipped it open and glanced at the screen to read. It was suddenly the surroundings around him started to become blank and his mind was out of sober.
Sujk was fallen back from his chair when he turned around. He was not aware about the chaos earlier. Now, all he could see was a table flipped over and the chairs were everywhere.
"What the hell happen?!" Sujk stood up. He was totally blurred.
"BITCH!" Aggy threw his phone to the wall and luckily, the phone did hitting the wall but it landed on the corner couch. He stormed off from the room and banged the door hard.
Sujk tried to figure out what happened. He could see Aggy changed drastically after seeing something on his phone. Sujk curiously picked up the phone from the couch and looked at the screen. He gasped when he saw Leda's picture with the caption that made his chest heavy.
"No, this is not Leda. Leda wouldn't do this to Aggy. He won't betray our trust!" He took Aggy's phone and rushed out to chase Aggy. He ran through the corridor while trying to dial Juri's number but Juri did not answer. Juri might sleeping now. He won't realized anything if he was too tired. Though he was expecting this, but he really hoped that Juri would pick up his call.
"Fuck! Juri please answer!" Sujk then tried to call Leda's phone.
~ooooo~
Galneryus was a very strong name in heavy power metal music scene genre. Kihiro smiled alone. He could see that his precious Yuto was very excited and happy with that band. From each reaction, aura, movement, action, and gestures that Yuto showed, he could decipher that Yuto was having a great time being among his bandmates. He always talked about his band, his bass part and how he adored their guitarist - Syu (senpai) for his amazing talent in guitars.
"I would like to be a professional metal guitarist like Syu senpai one day!" Yuto screamed at the sea. Kihiro chuckled. "Why not? You already a star in guitars too."
Yuto sat beside him. They were here near the beach, just to hang out together and Kihiro brought Yuto here because he wanted to watch the sunset. "But not the same. In Galneryus I am the bassist. I want to practice more and then being able to play all types of music instruments! I want to be a professional musician!" He jumped up onto the causeway.
"Hey Yuto! Be careful." Kihiro reminded him. Yuto only laughed. For Kihiro at that moment, his bright laugh and cheer face were so beautiful compared to the sun setting view.
Yuto jumped on his back. He messed up Kihiro's hair. "Now carry me home!"
"Stupid Yuto!" Kihiro laughed. He giggled happily too as he wrapped his hands around Yuto's waist and swung him around. Yuto yelled gingerly behind his back. "Stop! Kihiro! I feel dizzy!"
Kihiro keep swirling around till he didn't heard Yuto's voice. Perhaps that guy behind him was fainted because of dizziness? He stopped swirl and carefully he released Yuto. "Hey.. you okay?"
Yuto quickly sat on the causeway blocks. He touched his head. "Dizzy.. you bad!" He slapped Kihiro's shoulder.
The other guy smiled. "You are beautiful than the sunset. You realized that?" He could see Yuto blushed. "I am not."
"Yes you are.. and I want to be your boyfriend."
Yuto lifted his head up. He could not believe his own ears upon hearing that. "Kihiro.. that sounds.. so.. gay.."
"Hush.." A finger nipped on his lips. Yuto starred at him with confused eyes. "I don't care. I just want to be beside you. Since we get along together during teen age till now, I could only see you. Only you. I want to own you."
Yuto felt his cheeks red. He blushed so hard he could feel warm tender spread across his face. "Well.. I could give you a chance then." He smiled as he turned his face aside, feeling a bit shy with his decision to quickly agree.
Kihiro's eyes brightened. "Is it true? I did not heard wrong, right?" Yuto nodded his head. He chuckled and strum Kihiro's forehead with his long fingers. "Stop wasting time! Let's go home!"
He jumped over, only to start to walk, leaving Kihiro standing static there. For him it was a miracle.
Days became weeks and weeks became months. Kihiro started to sense something whenever he met Galneryus members. He could feel the tense that the members gave him. Especially Syu and Yama-B. Those two person always giving him that negative-feeling tense around him. Did they did not like him being with Yuto?
"Yuto.. your bandmates fine with us? They know about us?" One day Kihiro asked him. Yuto just nodded. "Yes. Why? Did they scare you?" He widen his eyes. Maybe Kihiro being bullied by them? They looked fierce and bad but actually they were kind.
"No.. just.. they seemed not like me." Kihiro expressed his insecure feeling. Yuto only laughed. "Relax. They are kind. Just maybe they don't like if fans know about us.." His face turned gloomy. Kihiro lifted his chin. "Nobody will know. Don't worry okay?" His precious Yuto only nodded. Kihiro knew this relationship might be a big challenge for them.
On the other day, things started to get wrong. Syu openly approached Yuto just to warn him that Kihiro was a bad person who only wanted to take an advantage upon him. Yama-B also agreed with Syu. They honestly said that they did not agreed if Yuto still wanted to be with Kihiro.
Yuto started to be influenced by them. Yeah.. who did not trust their close friends? Their bandmates? Even Kihiro didn't do anything wrong yet, but he also cannot control his jealousy upon each person who tried to approach his Yuto. He turned to be a very jealousy person. Each movement that Yuto took, he will know.
And for his surprise though, even with all the moment they spent together, they never sleep with each other. Kihiro did not want to force Yuto. Plus he could not stand seeing Yuto having a seizure, trembling each time he wanted more. So he waited patiently until he was ready.. but he never did.
Until one day he saw some fanatic girls luring and kissing his Yuto's cheek. He also disappointed when he saw Yuto letting Syu patted his head and whispered onto his ears. He could not held his jealousy anymore. Yuto was his. He do not want to share.
So he slammed Yuto on the washroom wall after Galneryus rehearsal backstage.
Yuto whimpered in pain. He did not understand why Kihiro was willing to hurt him. "Kihiro! What are you doing?! It's hurt!" He rubbed the back of his head. It bruised.
"You let those people touching you! But you never let me touch you!" He yelled. He tightened his grip on Yuto's arms.
Yuto stunned. He started to feel scare with Kihiro. This person in front him is not his Kihiro anymore. "I am not ready for that.. and they are not touching me.."
"Lie!" Kihiro couldn't control his temper. Yuto sobbed. "What's wrong with you? So.. is it true.. all that Syu and Yama-B senpai said to me.. that you only want to take advantage on me..?" His voice shaking.
"I am not going to let other people touching you! You are mine!" He pulled Yuto's shirt, trying to kiss his neck. Yuto screamed with that sudden attack and with his skinny hands he tried to push Kihiro's chest. "Help!"
Kihiro slapped his cheek. Yuto's eyes started to fill with warm tears. Kihiro slipped his hand into Yuto's pants and that made Yuto cried. "What are you doing..." He felt weak when his trust was being broke by the person who he loved.
"Making you mine!" Kihiro snarled fiercely. He kissed Yuto's lips harshly, sucking it and that made it swollen, glistening with a red colour.
"Don't!" Yuto could only yelled and screamed. His shirt was sloppy now with few buttons already missing.
It was not long until someone grabbed Kihiro from behind and punched him. Syu kicked his stomach with anger and Yama-B held Kihiro strongly. "Don't disturb him anymore!"
Yuto quickly pulled Syu's hand to distract him from continuously punching Kihiro. He cried in terror and begged to let Kihiro go. "Stop.. it's enough.. don't hurt him anymore.."
Syu spat on the floor. He wiped his sweat before he warned Kihiro. "Don't ever think of coming back here again or we would call the police to arrest you!" Yama-B pulled Yuto's hand. They left Kihiro there, holding his stomach in pain.
Since that day, Yuto never wanted to meet him again. They broke up just like that. With each day passed, Kihiro slowly gained his strength to recover without Yuto.
Until one day he got the news that Yuto was out from Galneryus and performing a band named Grave Seed, before renamed it to Deluhi. His Yuto now became Leda.
~ooooo~
Kihiro was about to fall asleep beside Leda when he heard Leda's phone buzzing and a beep tone rang onto his ears. Typical Leda. He always putting on a simple ringtone for calls or messages.
He looked at the caller ID. "Oh.. Looks who's trying to search you my love..? It's Sujk. Such a shame it's not Aggy." He smirked. He ignored the call. He then put Leda's phone on his side. Leda was still sleeping and it seemed that his tears still flowing from his eyes. His face looked fidgeted as if he was having a nightmare.
Kihiro got closer to Leda. He caressed his cheek. Using his thumb he tried to wipe the tear-stained on his angel's face. Kihiro's face started to turn soft.
"Leda.. I am sorry, I am greedy. I can't imagine I would share you. I can't let that. After you left me.. my world turned upside down.."
Kihiro gently helped changing Leda's sleeping position into comfortable one before he laid himself on the mattress. He faced to his side to look at the sleeping beauty. This sinful feelings towards Leda was true.
"I love you so much. I want to own you by myself, seeing you with Aggy makes my heart shredded.. and whatever happens after this, I will be by your side till the end. Don't hate me."
He looked at Leda's shivering body. Leda might be cold. He thought it was not nice to let him sleep like this. He then sat up and left Leda alone, in a dim light of the basement. Few minutes later he came back with his jacket. He put it on Leda's body over the blanket. Slowly he slid into the same blanket and pulling the body closer to him.
It was an hour later when Leda slowly awaken from his deep slumber sleep. He fully gained his consciousness now but he found himself still on the bed with Kihiro beside him. Kihiro was sleeping, and he could feel his skin touching Kihiro's skin under the blanket.
Leda tried to sit slowly, afraid of awaken Kihiro up. Furthermore his body especially his lower parts were all sore and painful. He rubbed his butt carefully. It was hurt. He hugged his knees tight and sobbed hushly. He felt disgusting with himself, as he could still feel the slimy thick fluid of Kihiro's inside his body and between his legs. He bit his lips, trying to control his feelings besides carefully not to awake Kihiro.
He looked around the basement and his eyes widen when suddenly he could see his phone beside Kihiro. He took it quietly trying to call Aggy. Leda waited but there was no tone. He felt disappointed. Was Aggy's phone was out of coverage? Or was it his phone? He then thought to call Sujk or Juri. He called Sujk first. Once, two times then Sujk picked up the call.
"Leda! What are you doing?! Where are you?!" Sujk asked without any greetings. Leda felt hurt when he had to memorize all those things. His eyes stung again with warm tears and he could feel something worst will happen.
"Hey.. " Sujk's voice started to soften. "You crying?"
"Sujk.. help me.. I don't know where I am now..." Leda cried. He can't held his tears anymore. In the meantime he tried so hard to lower down his voice.
"Really?! Leda! Tell me your surroundings! I will try to find you!"
"It's..."
A strong hand snatched that phone, before Leda could do anything. He could feel his waist being wrapped onto a warm torso. Kihiro quickly put his palm on Leda's mouth, avoiding him to speak.
"Mmpphh.." Leda muffled behind Kihiro's palm. He started to tremble due to fear. With an angry face Kihiro broke his phone and threw it on the floor.
"What did I said earlier Leda? I told you right? Did you forget? You want me to rape you again? Is that what you want?" Kihiro threatened. Leda shook his head. He really didn't want to go through the nightmare again.
"You did not behave. Am I being too soft to you? I have promised you I will send you home tomorrow but you just made things worst."
Leda felt his body being pulled and pressed to lay down on bed again. He panicked as he saw Kihiro's bone-chilling-eyes were burning with rage. "I am sorry.. I won't do it again! Don't hurt me! Kihiro!" Leda gasping hard when Kihiro positioned his body on top of him. He could feel the other's skin touching his.
He will do it again.. He will break him again..
A harsh kiss landed on his lips. Leda tried to push the weight above him as Kihiro tried to suck his lower lips. He failed to push that ferocious guy away. Worsen, Kihiro was getting more harsh towards him. The guy took it as an opportunity to force some kisses all over his face.
He suddenly turned Leda's body to face down. Using his left hand, he twisted Leda's left hand behind and that made Leda screamed to the top of his lung. It was really hurt. "Stop struggle!" Kihiro scolded him. He slapped Leda's butt, making Leda tried to minimize his movement. He was too afraid to think as if that very movement of defiance would make Kihiro drown in fury. He was really scared. He cannot see nor predict where Kihiro's right hand was.. and suddenly he felt it.
He could feel Kihiro's right hand lingered on his thigh. Leda stopped struggle. He was shivering madly as he could feel Kihiro's digits tracing along his side waist and thigh. "I am sorry.. I won't try to run.. please stop.."
He lost his words when suddenly he felt an indescribable pain slunk towards his bottom.
He gasped. His voice broken whenever he tried to scream. His hands were hovering violently around, trying to punch or grab Kihiro's strong arms but he failed. Kihiro lost in his anger and lust. He lifted Leda's waist and grabbed it tighter only to ease his member to be entrusted over Leda's. The skinny man below him whimpered in pain. Leda cried again in suffer. He was very ensure that his waist and his bottom parts were getting bluish due to the violent abuse Kihiro was inflicting onto him.
He grabbed the bed sheet tight. He cannot bear this.. He was not strong.. Even Aggy never did this to him.. Aggy never hurt him. He always care on him. He never forced him to make love if Leda did not wanted to.
Kihiro gasped. He tried to catch his energy. He kept shoving his member into Leda's bottom without even care on how Leda's tried with all his might to pull away. He finally came again.. and again.. inside Leda.
Leda felt his body weaken. He was losing it. He felt his head spinning, dizzy and his muscles were getting numb to be in that obscene position for.. how long..? He himself was not sure. It seemed like hours since he heard Sujk's voice. And being in that place without sunlight or anything made him suffered in the hell that Kihiro created for him.
At last, Kihiro let go of his waist. Leda sloppily slumped onto the bed. He cannot stopped his tears from falling down. He felt numb down there. His fingers grabbed the bed sheet tight, as it would make him calm or letting all his nightmare gone.
"You tired?" Kihiro caressed his cheek, neglecting the tears.
That question really annoyed him. Leda flinched. He turned his body around and with his remaining energy he punched Kihiro.
Kihiro nursed his own cheek, before he grabbed Leda's hands and pinned them above his head.
"You still disobey me?!"
As Kihiro tried to grab the rope again, Leda struggled with all his might.
"Stop! Kihiro! You are hurting me! Please.. don't do this!" He begged. His legs kept kicking around but it didn't help either.
Kihiro tied both of his hands to the bed. Leda stopped crying. He coughed hard. He felt his chest heavy. He was asphyxiated by his own tears, saliva and nose fluids. Kihiro realized something was wrong and he quickly stopped his movement.
"Leda.. are you.. okay?" He asked timidly.
Leda couldn't answered. He just stared on the ceiling. He can't let any voice out. He felt difficulties to breath. Kihiro acted fast. He quickly untied him and pushed his knuckles on Leda's middle chest and perform a CPR he had learnt in school previously. He repeatedly nipped his mouth to Leda's mouth, trying to give him oxygen and aid. Fortunately, Leda coughed and he blinked his eyes. Tears burst down again from his brown eyes.
"Please.. stop.. hm... uhm..." He weakly tried to beg when he gained his breath. Kihiro stunned. What had he done? He almost losing Leda. He almost became a killer. He felt his eyes were warming up too as he sat beside him. He then slowly pulled up the body and hugged gently.
"Don't upset me anymore."
~ooooo~
Leda slowly opened his eyes when he felt some movement beside him. He saw Kihiro was smiling to him. That happy face somehow annoying him so he turned his face aside.
He could hear Kihiro sighed. "You won't look at me?"
How could he looked at him after what he had done? Leda wanted to cry. But he felt that his tears were dried up. Perhaps he had cried the whole night and let out all his tears till none was left. How pathetic. He is a man. But he fell into this kind of pathetic relationship. He even cannot protect himself from being raped. He hated himself for all this.
"I will send you home. Before that let me take you to shower so that we could clean your body, okay? And you might be hungry too. I have brought some food. Your favourite porridge."
A gentle yet strong hand brushed his sore arm. Leda just let Kihiro did what he wanted. He didn't have the energy to fight back. He felt a sudden cold slapping his bare skin when Kihiro pull the blanket from him.
"No! What do you want?!" Leda trashing his body, too afraid if Kihiro intended to do anything bad to him again.
"Syhhhh..." The other guy quickly pulled his body into his bosom. "I just want to carry you to the shower room okay? Since you hardly can walk now.." His eyes looked dimmed. "I promise I won't do anything than that."
Leda stopped struggling. There was a hint of sincerity in Kihiro's voice. Kihiro then gently lifted him from the bed and carried him to a door not far from that bed. Leda hissed and bit his own lips whenever his body felt sore when Kihiro touched him.
Kihiro felt nervous. He knew Leda in pain. That was all because of him. He hurt Leda so much with his bare hands. As they were inside the shower room, Kihiro lowered Leda and put him inside the medium tub. Leda did not reacted much. He just kept quiet. Kihiro could snap that Leda was angry and he might hate him for sure. Ignoring that feeling, he turn the pipe and warm water began to flow through the shower hose.
"Ergh..." Leda bit his lips. He shut his eyes as his skin were sore and bare when his lower parts and his wounded wrists contacted with water. Kihiro squatted beside him outside the tub. He knew Leda was in pain. As a calming gesture he patted Leda's hair and started to brush his pale skin using a soft cloth.
"I am sorry.. I know I hurt you.. but please bear with it. I will clean you right away."
Leda just smiled in senile. Bear it? Clean right away? Couldn't Kihiro see that he was already dirtied? Even hundred shower he would take, it won't clean his body or mind from this.
Done with shower, Kihiro helped Leda to stand up. Leda's legs wobbled and shaking but he slowly stepped on. Kihiro also helped him to wear a fresh pair of shirt and clothes. Leda could sniff Kihiro's scent on them. But he cannot complaint. It was better than his shredded shirt.
He sat on the bed. Looked like it was the only furniture there. Kihiro handover a bowl of warm porridge to him. He fed Leda carefully and slowly.
"It's 7:00am already. I keep my promise. I will send you home. Don't hate me okay? I done all this because I don't want to lose you. I want to stay by your side. Please don't hate me okay? Leda?" Kihiro begged. He really wanted Leda to forgive him.
Leda just stared at him. He did not have any guts to give any answer. He felt tired. He just wanted to go home. Back to Aggy. Back to his Deluhi band.
~SJ_Cherry & Natsuko Chan~