HEY guys!!

Believe me, I felt the same as you when I re-read my story...

It's not smooth and Edward and Bella are being too cranky..

I'm trying to make amends..

Yeah, and sorry, Max is 2 and a half and Edward has returned after 3 years..

Wish you a merry Christmas!!!!

"God, no," Edward gasped.

"It - It's true," Bella said, her eyes wet. "I'm not lying."

It took Edward an entire minute before he could actually react. It was all sinking in, a little by little. There had been something special about Max...Now he knew what. His son, his very own blood. Edward loved him even though he didn't know much about him. He didn't need to know anything - Max was his son. His own.

Max is my son. Oh, God.

And then he dashed out of the room, with such force that it surprised Bella. He wanted to see Max - to see Max as his son. He pushed open the door of Max's room, and went upto his bed. He studied Max for a long moment, still not completely believing what he had heard. Then he gently carried the little sleeping bundle of life into his arms.

My son.

Stroking his hair, Edward held Max close to him, for the first time feeling like a father. He had never felt so happy ever before. He had a son that he loved with all his heart - there was nothing else that he needed to make his life complete. He had everything that he had ever wanted - everything that he ever will want.

Max stirred slowly and sleepily opened an eye.

"Daddy?" he mumbled and pressed his face into his father's shoulder, falling asleep almost immediately.

Hearing that word - that one word that proved to him that Max loved him as a father brought tears to Edward's eyes.

"I love you, sweetheart," Edward said and pressed a gentle kiss against Max's forehead. "I love you so much."

Max murmured something in his sleep and scrambled out of Edward's arms and snuggled up under the covers.

He is so cute, Edward thought and squeezed Max's little hand with his. He then felt a hand rest gently on his shoulder and turned around.

Bella.

She took his hand and pulled him gently outside, closing the door behind them. Then she launched herself into Edward's arms and began to cry.

"Finally," she sobbed into his chest. "My conscience has finally stopped pricking. I - I've been wanting to tell you for so long; I've wanted the three of us to live together - but I didn't kow how to tell you. God, I'm so sorry - I thought that if I told you earlier you might want to take custody of him - and that would be horrible," she said, pulling back to look into his eyes. "But now - everything is going to be alright, right?"

Edward shook his head and painfully pushed her away from him. "Bella - why?"

"Why -"

"How - how could you do this to me? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I - I thought - "

"I don't care what you thought," Edward angrily burst out suddenly. "Max is my son - and you didn't even tell me? How could you be - so - cruel? How could you be so insensitive? I don't believe this. You were planning to keep Max away from me? How would you feel if I had to keep your son a secret from you?"

"Edward, please - I'm sorry," Bella said. She had never felt so scared before; she had never seen Edward so hurt. She had done it again - she had broken his heart.

"You're sorry? That is the most meaningless word in the dictionary when it comes to you. You think everything is going to be alright, you expect me to forgive you - but I can't, not this time," he said, his eyes full of sheer pain. "Just when I thought that there were chances of us getting back together," he added softly.

He shouldered past Bella and stormed towards the door. She ran after him, begging him to stop, but he didn't listen.

"Edward, please," she begged, as soon as she had caught up with him and rested a hand on his arm. "Please don't leave me like this. I don't want to live without you. Please."

Edward turned around and looked deep into her eyes, his own slightly moistening. "I don't want to have anything to do with you, Bella. Life with you is just painful. Believing that you could change was one huge mistake because I know now that that will never happen. You're always going to do something to hurt me. You'll always be searching for some way to tear my heart apart - that's what you enjoy doing the most." Edward took a deep breath before continuing. " Of all the things you've done, nothing has hurt this bad."

And with that, he walked away, leaving Bella left all alone to cry.

Two sleepless nights later and the stabbing hurt in her heart refused to fade. Bella had tried calling him but he just would not answer her call. She couldn't blame him – it made sense. He hated her. She had kept him away from his child for two whole years, something that hurt badly when she tried putting herself in his shoes.

She had always wanted to tell him about Max but they were broken up then and she had been afraid that Edward would take Max away from her because she knew he didn't love her - not even enough to live with her for the sake of their child. There was nothing she could do about the past, though. The only thing she could change was the future that was destined for her.

A dark, lonely future.

She was now looking through old photo albums of her and Edward together; and the past seemed to become the present. All the old good times came back magically, making her long to feel those moments once again. They were together smiling in every single picture, like nothing could ever tear them apart. But their lives weren't as picture perfect as it seemed. Something had been able to pull them away from each other and, after the day before, keep them away forever.

Bella's thoughts were interrupted when she heard someone knocking on the door. Tiredly, she pulled herself off the couch and went to answer the door. And when she did, she found herself looking into her favorite pair of green eyes.

The ones that belonged to Edward.

"Edward." Bella's heart filled with immense joy at the very sight of him.

"Yeah – it's me," Edward said, but didn't smile.

All the happiness drained out of Bella as she saw that he was still angry. " Uh – hi."

"Listen, I need to talk to Max," Edward said to the point.

"Oh – come on in," Bella said, a little hurt. Edward hadn't come to see her, as she hoped. "Max's inside."

"Alright," Edward muttered and went in. He had missed Max even though it had only been a couple of days since he last saw him. He also had to admit that he had missed Bella as well, but he was trying to completely erase her from his head. He had meant what he had told her before – he didn't want to have anything to do with her.

As Edward opened the door to Max's room, he felt a whole lot happier. At least he knew that someone loved him.

"Max?"

Max looked up from the wall he was scribbling on. As soon as he saw Edward, his eyes lit up with happiness.

"Daddy," he said in delight and ran towards his father.

"Hi, sweetheart," Edward said and swept Max up in his arms. "I missed you."

"Don't tell Mommy I am writing on the wall," Max said seriously. "She get angry."

Edward laughed before answering. "Okay, I won't."

Edward swallowed painfully, thinking of the real purpose of hi being there.

"Max, listen very carefully to what I'm going to say, okay?" Edward took a seat on Max's bed and put him down next to him.

"Okay," Max said, snuggling up to him contentedly.

Edward thought sadly as he hugged Max gently. "I've got to go back home, Max."

"Where?"

"Far away from here," Edward said, hurting on the inside. "I don't know when I'll be seeing you again." I don't know if I'll ever see you again.

"Stay here, " Max said. " With me and Mommy."

"Max, you won't understand but, it's not that easy."

"Why?" Max asked, starting to get a little hurt.

"Oh sweetie, I told you – you won't understand," Edward said trying to forget all the pain he was going through at that very moment.

"You not my Daddy?" Max's eyes began to fill.

"Oh, Max – I'll always be your Daddy," Edward said and gently kissed his cheek. "No matter where I am, I'll always love you."

"But I don't want you to go," Max cried, wearing a pleading expression on his face.

Edward smiled a little. "The puppy dog look won't work this time, Max. I'm sorry."

Max moved closer to Edward and began to cry hard.

"Hey – I've got candy," Edward said, acting cheerful.

"I don't want candy!"

Just when Edward was beginning to run out of things to say to comfort Max, Bella stepped in.

"Is everything okay?" Bella gasped softly when she saw Max crying.

"What happened?" she asked Edward, full of concern.

Edward breathed deeply before answering her. "I'm going back home tonight."

Edward watched as her own eyes began to fill with tears. "You can't go – please. You can't leave us here." She wrapped her arms around him gently, sobbing softly. "I can't – we can't live without you. Edward – I love you."

Edward squeezed her gently for a second before he let her go. "I'm sorry – my mind's made up." He kissed her hand gently before continuing. " Take care of Max for me.."

With one last look at Bella and Max, he turned around and walked away.

"Go to sleep, Max," Bella said that night, fighting tears. Max hadn't been able to stop crying since Edward had left.

"I want Daddy," he cried into his mother's shoulder.

"I want him, too." Tears rolled down Bella's cheek.

"Why Daddy no 'uve us anymore?"

"Oh Max, your father loves you so much – so much." It's just me that he does not love. "Now - now go to sleep."

As Max drifted off to sleep, Bella began to cry. She had been waiting for him to sleep so that she could cry without upsetting him. Edward wasn't coming back to them – ever. She hurt Edward and now Max. A little kid like him had to go through so much just because of her – his own mother. Her life was in shatters right before her eyes.

Another thought took over. She began to wonder what Max would say when he grew older. He'd find out who she really was – the person that had ruined his life and then even he'd hate her. Nobody would love her then – nobody would ever need her, much less care about her. There wouldn't be a single soul in the world that would care whether she was dead or alive. She'd have to face life alone, with no one by her side, no one to pick her up when she fell. She'd have nobody to call her own. She couldn't live like that – she just couldn't.

She got up from bed, her heart wrenching with pain, and she did what she thought was the best thing to do.

--

I miss them already, Edward thought as he lay in bed, two hours before check out time.

Bella.

He knew that he was going to miss her terribly for as long as he lived, he knew that he would always love her. He had always wanted to live his life with her, right from the moment he had seen her – but that seemed like asking for too much. He also knew that the decision that he had made was the right one. She'd always be in his heart until the day he died.

He was thankful for the interruption when he heard his cell phone ring. Reaching out for it, he flipped it open and looked at the calling number. It was a number that he knew vaguely, although he couldn't remember whom it belonged to.

"Hello?"

Nobody answered. All he could hear for a second was static. "Hello?" he said again.

"Edward," a female voice cried out. There was something very familiar about the voice.

"Alice?" he asked not sure.

"Yeah," she choked. She is crying, Edward realized.

"What – what happened, Alice?" he asked instantly. "What's wrong?"

"Oh God," she said and then broke down.

Edward breathed in a shaky breath. "Alice, please, calm down," he said as calmly as he could. "Tell me what happened."

"Bella," she choked again and began to cry very hard,

"Bel – what happened to Bella?" Edward asked worried. "Alice, tell me."

"She – she – tried to commit suicide!"

You seriously think this is how I'm gonna end things on Christmas???

Watch out for some more chapters today....