Disclaimer- I still don't own Castle, Andrew Marlowe does, and I don't want him to sue me for playing in his sandbox. Today's Castle disclaimer Haiku:

Kate Beckett I'm not
Richard Castle writes original fiction
I'm not the writer

I woke up from the nap sweaty and in need of a shower. Nobody was home, so I turned on Mumford and Son's Sigh No More album as loud as I wanted when I got out and got ready. I wrote out a few baby girl names in the mirror fog, including Cleo, Lucy, Tessa, Lillian, and Olive, as I dried my hair. When I got a moment, I wrote them down on paper. I wanted to make sure her name meant something important. I had a few more months to perfect it before she was born, I wasn't too worried.

What would Pi name her? a voice in the back of my head asked.

I stopped in my tracks. Pi hadn't cared at all. He wouldn't care what I named her. I rubbed my bare stomach that towel wasn't covering. "I'm so sorry, baby," I whispered. "You're not going to have a daddy. Well, your grandfather is great with kids, he was great with me. I know he already loves you. But I'm sorry your daddy ran off. Maybe that's my fault. I ran him off."

"Don't you dare," Grams said from behind me. I jumped a mile and turned around to see her in the doorway. "Don't you dare think for a moment that anything you did or said could have changed Pi's mind. He was selfish, and all he wanted was to live the high life without any consequences. He ran away when the going got tough."

"Oh, Grams, you scared me!" I cried.

"So what are you going to wear to dinner?" Grams asked, opening my closet.

"I don't know," I muttered.

"We should have gone out and bought another dress with your emergency credit card," she noted. "But don't you, for one second, think that you could have kept Pi. You didn't do anything wrong. He's a child who couldn't own up to what he did."

"Do you feel that way about my grandfather?"

Grams stopped, her jaw dropped out. "Excuse me?"

"Dad told me about his father."

"I know," she said. "I know he met him when you got kidnapped. And no, your grandfather was not like that. He had been reactivated, I guess. He thought he was out, we spent a beautiful night together, and the next morning, he had to leave. That's all it was. Now," she grabbed a few things out of my closet and checked the tags that it was maternity. "I think this will be beautiful for dinner tonight."

"Dad?" I asked as we went to the back of the restaurant. I saw Lainey, Detectives Esposito and Ryan, and Jenny there, all their faces broke into concern. Jenny was holding Sarah Grace in her arms.

"Alexis Castle!" Lainey cried, "you didn't want us knowing you were having a baby?" She grabbed me and squeezed me tightly in her arms. I was terrified suddenly. She rocked me back and forth. "Of all the people in the world, I never thought you'd get pregnant in college."

"Who told you?" I asked, glaring at Dad and Kate.

"They saw it on the wallpaper of my phone," Dad admitted, holding up his phone. He had made the ultrasound of my baby this wallpaper.

"Hey, you know I was a sniper, if Pi's anywhere in the area," Esposito said.

I wiped my eyes. "It was unexpected," I admitted.

"See, we knew something was up. Something about Castle and Beckett changed one morning, I knew they were keeping secrets," Ryan said.

"Here, Alexis," Jenny said, coming up to me, shoving Sarah Grace into my arms. The baby started crying immediately.

"Oh!" I gasped.

"For practice," she said. "So your dad says you're having a little girl?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to rock the baby. She screamed harder. "Oh no! Oh God!"

"It's okay," she promised. "Babies are going to scream. Just relax, it doesn't come naturally. The more uptight you are, the more the baby will freak out. They can sense when you're not comfortable with them."

"Uh-huh," I said.

"Come on, sit down," Ryan said. "You need to stay off your feet. Don't worry, the last baby I held before this one did the same thing. You'll pick it up."

"Um," I began. Jenny guided me down to the chair by the shoulders.

"I wish you had let me tell them," Kate said wistfully. She turned her to glare at Dad, "before Castle spilled the beans." Dad shrugged sheepishly.

All my excited pride in telling the world I was about to be a mother evaporated. "Shit," I whispered under my breath. The baby continued to cry.

"Here, let me take her back," Jenny said, taking the baby from my arms. Sarah Grace stopped wailing, and the annoying restaurant patrons turned away.

"You know, a parenting class can help so much," Ryan said. "But nothing prepares you for a baby. Nothing."

"I know," I said, wiping my eyes. "I'm so scared. I'm not prepared at all-"

"We love you," Lainey said. "You can handle anything."

I wiped my eyes. "I never thought this would happen to me-"

"Accidents happen to the best of us," Jenny said. "I've worked around kids enough to know that even the most careful kids can get pregnant."

"See, I knew there was something up for the longest time," Lainey said, smugly. "Kate wouldn't tell me, but I knew."

"You're a doctor, of course you knew," I muttered.

"I'm not your doctor," Lainey said softly. She brushed my hair back off my shoulder a kissed my temple. "You'll get through this. Raising a baby alone is tough, but you'll get through. Although you were the last person I expected to get pregnant in college."

"I guess I'm unpredictable like that," I muttered.

"Can I please, please tweet something about being a grandpa, yet?" Dad asked.

"Not yet," I muttered. "You guys aren't disappointed in me?"

"No!" they chorused.

"Things happen," Esposito said. "We deal with people who make terrible mistakes. This is not a terrible mistake. This doesn't make you a bad person-"

"Or a stupid person," Lainey interrupted.

"Or a selfish person," Jenny finished. She grinned. "I hope you had a lot of fun getting pregnant." Everyone laughed, except Dad.

"Earmuffs!" Dad shouted, over his iPhone.

I cracked a grin. "Yeah, I did."

"I can't believe you made your parents keep this a secret for so long," Jenny said. "You were on borrowed time with that secret! You're showing!"

"I know," I admitted, adjusting the draping of my cardigan.

"We're gonna plan a mission to hunt down Pi and clip off his balls," Esposito said. "What a little pussy, running out on you."

"He is," Ryan agreed.

"You know about my military background, don't you?" Esposito said.

I nodded, blushing.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of," Lainey reminded me. "Your body is just doing what it's naturally designed to do. You're physically creating another human being, that's a miracle."

I realized Jenny was getting out her breast to nurse Sarah Grace. "Do you need to see how it's done?" she asked, pointing at her breast that the baby had latched onto. "I'm not shy."

"I um-"

"Oh God, didn't need to see that," Esposito muttering, turning away. Lainey whacked him on the shoulder.

"It's just a breast, doing what it was designed to do," Jenny said, irritably. "I'm not covering up for you."

"Hi, my name's Tori, I'll be your server," our server said.

"She's already ordered," Jenny said, indicating the baby. "But I'll have an iced tea."

"A Yeungling," Ryan said.

"Same here," Esposito said. "Make it two."

"A white wine," Lainey said.

I noticed Kate, Grams, and Dad had scooted over to the side, and were talking about something on the iPhone in hushed tones. If their friends hadn't descended on me en mass, I'd have asked them what was going on.

"And for you?" the server asked.

"I… uh, a water," I said.

"With lemon?"

"Yes, please."

"I'll be back in a moment with your drinks if you want to look at the menu," she said.

"Take your time," I said. I had the feeling I'd have a Kate and Dad's friends telling me so much I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the menu.

"Any baby names yet?" Jenny asked as the menus were passed out.

"I just wrote a few down before we left," I said.

"You know that no matter how stupid the question, you can call me first if you're too afraid to call the OB," Lainey said. "I will drop everything for your call, I work with dead people, they won't mind."

I blushed. "Okay." I wiped my eyes with my table napkin and put it in my lap, but my stomach got in the way. "I don't quite know what I'm doing," I confess. "I've got a lot of questions."

"It's okay to have questions," Esposito said.

"How would you know?" Ryan asked, disgusted.

I arrived home, completely and mentally exhausted. They had talked my ear off, too many questions that I didn't know the answer to, and advice I hadn't absorbed. I had eaten only part of my roast pork loin and smashed potatoes. I went to bed and woke up to my phone going off. It was one of my friends from Marlowe Prep, Nina.

What's your Dad's big surprise? Does it have anything to do with you? the text said.

I gasped. "Dad!" I shouted, rolling out of bed. I wasn't able to sit up very quickly. "Dad! What's going on?"

I ran downstairs, and found Dad just getting out of bed, I woke Kate up.

"What's going on?" he asked groggily.

I held up the phone. "I'm getting texts from my friends about you've got big surprise," I said. "It's not about me, is it?"

"Actually, it is," he said. "I tweeted that I've got some good news coming up, but I didn't tell them about you!"

"Dad, you can't!" I cried.

"Yes, I 'can'," he replied. "I owe it to my granddaughter."

"I haven't told my friends from Marlowe Prep that I'm pregnant!" I cried. "What am I supposed to do? Make a Facebook status?"

"That would work," Kate muttered. "Isn't that what Facebook is for?"

I shook my head. "It's for making people think your life is so much better than it actually is."

"You were so proud of having a baby girl yesterday," Kate said, sitting up in bed. "That's good thing! Look, it will go around soon enough. Unless you want to go into hiding. Trust me, people will see your pregnant belly. And your friends, when they come back to New York, will see this pregnancy eventually. You can't hide this any longer. Just tell them. They'll appreciate knowing first before your father puts it up on his Twitter."

"Take your time, but write them a note first," Dad said.

"What do I say?"

"Tell them that you've been hiding this for a long time, but you want to come clean about something before we tell the world because you value their friendship," Dad said. "And then tell them you're having a baby."

I sighed and sat down on the loveseat in their room. I rubbed my belly in frustration.

"Go upstairs. Take you time. And tell them that you'd really appreciate their support," Dad added.

I nodded and went upstairs with my phone. I started a group message to Nina, Tara, Diana, Paige, and Jules, the five girls I had been best friends with my senior year. They were all going to school at Ivy Leagues outside New York, and while we had been in communication, I had been keeping them at arm's length. I had been a shitty friend to them since Pi came into my life. It took me the better part of an hour to write my text to them.

Hi. I know I haven't been a good friend in the last year to all of you since I met Pi. We've broken up, and I haven't really talked to any of you about what really happened. And I'm sorry about keeping this secret, but I'm really scared about what's going on and could really use your support right now. If you can't be my friend because of this, I understand. But I feel like I need to tell all you before my dad sends this out into the internet; I'm having a baby.

My hand shook as I hit the send button, and I pressed the phone to my chest as it sent.

I panicked after sending it. I'm sure they'd all stop being my friend, I'd have five unfriendings on Facebook and everybody would know. I had kept this from them for so long, I as certain they'd take this as a slap in the face. Here I was, no boyfriend, no friends, and pregnant.

My phone buzzed in my hands. I took a deep breath and looked.

It was from Nina.

Are you fucking kidding me? I knew you were pregnant, I'm just surprised it took you so long to tell me! Why so secretive, A?

Of course we'll support you, bitch. And Pi's an asshole. If I ever find myself in Denmark, he better go underground.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

My phone buzzed again.

What do you mean you're pregnant? Tara responded. Did you think we wouldn't understand? When are you due? We've got to plan a baby shower, stat!

Yeah, we do! Nina chimed in. Where are you registered?

A baby shower? Why I had kept this a secret for so long from them?

I haven't made one, yet, I started typing when a new text came in.

Whore. Diana responded. I can't believe you got pregnant. It's called Yaz, you dumbass. You think I didn't know?

My jaw dropped.

Mom saw you and said you were out to there already. We all knew you were going to fuck up sooner or later, Little Miss Perfect. I'm surprised your dad even let you get this far instead of getting rid of it. I can't believe you lied for so long Good job fucking up your life, A. You were the last to cash in the V-plates, I'm sure you did it while reading your own notes on how-to. This is going to be hilarious.

And she left the conversation.

That uncomfortable drilling sensation started up in my stomach again.

Well, fuck you very much, Diana, Nina responded. Being Italian and from New Jersey, she always had the foulest mouth, which we found hilarious. I didn't find it funny right now. We won't miss you at the baby shower. Bitch.

A, you're not fucking up your life, you're doing to right thing. Abortion is wrong. I can't wait to meet this baby!

Paige left the conversation without a word. She hated me too, I knew it.

It will be just as fun without Diana and Paige there. they're just pissed off they didn't have the gossip months ago. How far along are you, Alexis? Tara asked.

My hands were shaking. I put the phone on the dresser and climbed back in bed. It dinged again, and I dreaded looking at it. But it called to me. The phone dinged again.

My mom knew already. I knew you weren't telling me because it's really hard to have a baby on your own. Jules said. We're here for you. Well, Nina, Tara, and me. Paige and Diana can suck it.

I'm coming home for spring break next week. Jules texted.

So am I, Tara texted.

I'm across the river in Jersey, I'll come up right now, Nina responded. And I'm sure you'll have the perfect pregnancy with the perfect amount of weight gained, and you'll have a beautiful, perfect baby with perfect red hair and we'll all love her. Perfectly.

My phone rang- it was Tara, in Boston.

"Hey," I said, answering.

"Did you think I wouldn't understand?" Tara asked. I heard another text message come in. "Oh, Alexis. I know this came about at the wrong time, but it's going to work out."

"I didn't mean to get pregnant," I admitted. I had been expecting my friends to treat me like I had the plague, like I was dirty or something. I was shocked they were there for me.

"You were probably doing everything perfectly with your birth control but… y'know, this happens, sometimes. I can't believe it happened to you, of all people."

"I can't either," I admitted.

"Well, Nina, Jules, and I are going to throw a baby shower for you. Paige and Diana can go fuck themselves. And you need to make a baby registry somewhere. Mom said you were already showing."

"Does everybody's mom spy on me?"

Tara laughed, and another text came in. "No! She just saw you out with your Dad and Detective Beckett at a restaurant, but couldn't believe it was you. She called me and was like, 'Tara, is Alexis Castle pregnant?'" she said in her best impression of a loud Jewish woman. We laughed. I had missed her laugh. "But Mom says you're showing already."

"I'm almost five months," I admitted.

"I just saw you at Christmas, you were pregnant then? And smoking up?"

"Yeah. I didn't know until around New Year's. I'm scared my baby's going to be deformed or something, now."

"I doubt it. You know we love you," she said. "We're here for you, and we want to be there. Why don't you come to Passover with us?"

"You really want me in your temple all pregnant and unmarried?"

"Yes, shiksa, I do," she said. "Mom's probably going to flip a gasket when you come over all pregnant because you didn't call her for advice. I bet you're so cute! I bet you look like a basketball was shoved up your shirt!"

"Dad says I'm starting to look like that," I admitted.

"I might take the train home today," she said off-handedly. My phone dinged again, this time it was Jules calling.

"Just a second, it's Jules," I said. I hit the send button and brought her on.

"You weren't answering my texts!" Jules cried.

"I'm on the phone with Tara," I said.

"You can't drop a bomb on us like that and go silent!" Jules said. "Hold on a sec, I'm calling Neens."

"Let me bring you on the line with Tara," I said, hitting the send button again. "Tara? Did I do this right? Jules should be on the line."

"Yes!" Tara shouted. "You did!"

"I'm here," Jules said at the same time. "Let me call Nina!"

Her line went silent.

"You couldn't tell us when we all already knew?" Tara asked.

"Yes," I moaned. "I was so scared you'd all hate me. Only Diana and Paige hate me, I guess."

"Well, Paige called me at Northeastern to ask me if I knew anything, and I told her no. I think she's pissed. And what the hell was up with Diana and that bitchfest response in front of all of us?"

"Shit," I muttered.

"Look, Paige was always a bitch. Remember when she got so trashed on Halloween and you took her home, but when your dad called her parents, she didn't talk to you until Spring Formal? She's just mad that she wasn't in on it from week one."

"Yeah," I muttered.

"She's being a dumbass. So is Diana. We all hate Diana anyway, don't worry."

"You do?"

"We were only friends with her because you liked her. But she was always so manipulative-"

"Hey, I think we're all here," Jules called out. "Neens?"

"Hi, Alexis!" Nina called out. She could be loud and talk really fast when she got mad. "I'm packing my shit right now, oh my God, I can't believe you kept this shit from me! I'm like, a hour from you at Princeton! I know people in the mob you know, we could get Pi fucked up-"

"Down girl!" Jules shouted. "Calm down! We're not going to focus on fucking up Pi, we're going to focus on the baby shower, first."

"I don't want Pi killed," I said. "Castrated, but not killed."

"We might be able to arrange that," Nina said. "I'd just love to see Diana get a bad haircut. You think we could bribe her hair dresser at Frederic Fakkai?"

"You know she got knocked up sophomore year," Jules said.

"What?" we all cried.

"Yeah, her parents had her have an abortion. Well, that's the rumor, anyway."

"How did I not know this?" I asked.

"Because she's a manipulative bitch. That's all that was," Jules said. "She was never a good friend to you."

"Let's focus on Alexis, here!" Tara said. "We need to pump her up. Alexis, you are so loved and you aren't alone. This is some major shit that happened to you, but you're going have the cutest baby in the world and it'll all be worth it, I promise!"

"How far along are you?" Nina asked.

"I'm almost five months."

"FIVE MONTHS?" Nina and Jules cried.

"I'll send you guys my ultrasound pictures. I just got one yesterday. I'm having a girl."

"What are you going to name her?" the all said at once.

"I don't know! I need to pick out her name. I'm just calling her Lima Bean right now."

"You haven't already?" Tara asked.

"Why do you call her Lima Bean?" Nina asked, sounding almost grossed out.

"Because on my first ultrasound, she looked like one," I said. "And when I was researching abortion, the fetuses looked like lima beans."

"You were researching abortion?" Nina cried, aghast. "Alexis! No! How could you even consider it?"

"I was scared everybody would hate me if I said I was pregnant, I was trying to go for a quick fix before anybody found out," I admitted. I told them the whole story of Pi taking everything, including the abortion fund, and how I went to dad and admitted that I was pregnant, and how I changed my mind at the last second, only to find Pi at our apartment and how Dad punched him for being an asshole.

"I love your dad," Tara said. "And I hate Pi."

"Your dad is such a good guy," Nina said. "I always thought he was so cute!"

"Ew, Nina, gold dig much?" Jules cried. "He's so old!"

"Oh, so what? Alexis, tell us about the baby names you're thinking about," Tara said, changing the subject back to me.

"I wrote down some ideas," I said, getting out the pad of paper I had written it down on. "Cleo, Lucy, Tessa, Lillian, Olive, Pearl-"

"You can't name her Pearl!" Tara cried. "That's just so… Scarlet Letter! You don't want everybody making that connection to her, her whole life!"

"Okay, okay, I'm crossing it out."

I spent most of the morning talking to my friends. Nina hung up and said she was taking the train into New York and was coming to my house immediately. I told her to take her time because I had classes this afternoon and to text me when she was getting back. When I came downstairs, I was starving. Even though two of my friends were being bitches, I knew I had three good friends who were going to support me.

"I think we've told everybody close to us," Dad said, as he made me scrambled eggs. "I'm going to announce it today."

"Da-ad, no!" I cried. "I'm not ready, yet!"

"Alexis, it's not something we can hide. And I owe this to Lima Bean. She's just as important as you. Here," he got out his iPad. He had written the twitter message, but never sent it. "You kept Lima Bean because you said this was the determining moment in your life wether you'd be strong or weak forever. It's time for you to be strong."

RE last night's tweet: I'm going to be a grandpa! Really excited about the newest member of the family.

"That's it?" I asked.

"Yes, this it," he said. "And I promise, I won't answer any of questions about you, okay? It has to go out. I can't not be proud of my granddaughter."

I didn't want Lima Bean ever feeling like she was something to be shunned. Any problem with that, it came down to me. I remembered the fear of something being wrong with her during the ultrasound, and the sound of her heartbeat and how it brought so much joy to me. This was my trial by fire. I had to put my embarrassment aside that I was pregnant so young, and so unexpectedly. Yes, shade would be thrown at me, but I was not weak. I was strong. This was part of being strong. I already loved her too much to make her life miserable when I didn't have to. None of this situation was her fault and I wasn't going to treat her like something to be ashamed of. She deserved to be loved and celebrated like any other baby. I owed her that. "Okay, send it."

"As is?"

"Yes. Just like that."

He tapped the 'send' button and the message faded from the screen.

"It can't be undone now," Dad said, pushing the plate of eggs across the counter to me. "Thanks for letting me tell the world, sweetheart." He kissed me on the temple and left me to eat.

I checked my Twitter feed, and saw Dad's tweet.

I can't wait to show my granddaughter to all of you. She's going to be great!

I got to see her ultrasound yesterday, and she looks like me. Already!

Dad was tweeting from the office, and it was nothing but proud grandpa tweets. I loved my dad so much. And then, I saw it.

But your daughter isn't married. You let her be a slut and get pregnant?

I felt that churning, grinding sensation in my stomach. And then, I felt Lima Bean kicking. I had never been called a slut and worried about it before. Yeah, when I got bullied by some of the girls at school, they called me a slut, but it didn't bother me that much because I knew they were wrong. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

She a ho

There were some nice tweets congratulating Dad, but then the mean ones started, calling me names, claiming he wasn't a good father, good fathers didn't let their unmarried daughters get pregnant, they were never reading his books again. A hand grabbed my shoulder.

"Alexis, close the Twitter feed," Dad said in my ear.

"Dad, they're calling you terrible things! They say they'll never read your books again!" I cried. "What does me being pregnant have to do with your books?"

"Nothing, sweetheart. Just close your feed. You don't need this."

At that moment, tweets began ringing into my feed, most of them calling me a red-headed slut, whore, ho, some were three and four tweets long, telling me I was privileged brat who was tarnishing my father's good name in literature.

"Alexis," Dad said quietly, taking the phone out of my hand. "There's going to be a lot of people judging you and telling you what to do when you didn't ask for their opinion when you're famous."

"I don't want to be famous," I whispered.

"I'm sorry you were born into it. You're famous by extension." He went to close out my feed, but he snorted. "You're tarnishing my good name in literature?" he chuckled. "I didn't know my name was that good in the first place. Listen, Alexis, these people don't know anything about you. It's going to be okay."