The American Dream
Ch. 6
Alice gave me a reassuring hug as we parted ways at her front steps. The walk to my house seemed to take forever. My legs felt like lead weights. The weather had even turned to match my mood. The clouds now hung low and dark in the sky and there was a definite bite to the air. It would probably snow soon. I pulled my jacket closer around me to fight off the cold. I'd have about two hours or so after I got home till my Dad would be home. Two hours…that was all I had left till I would be forced to face whatever reaction Dad had to my test score. The test was tucked between the pages of my Geometry book. Carrying that book right now was like carrying a ton of bricks. I got to the front door of my house took a deep breath and turned the knob. My mother was in the kitchen as usual. I headed straight for the stairs wanting the sanctuary of my room. My foot hit the first stair and my mother called to me, "Bella is that you?"
I sighed, "Yes mom."
"How was your day?"
"Umm fine, I'm just a little tired so I'm going to go up to my room and rest till dinner," hopefully that excuse would earn me some time alone.
"Do you feel ok? Are you sick?" my mother's voice rose in pitch with worry.
"No, just a little tired," and with that I climbed the stair, entered my room and shut the door to wait. 5:30 and I heard Dad's cruiser in the driveway. The worry was now a boulder in my stomach making me feel sick and uncomfortable. I could hear Rose and my mother downstairs setting the table and finishing up dinner preparations.
"Bella, dinner!" my mother called up the stairs. I took a deep breath, tried to straighten my shoulders and look confident. This was it, no more stalling. I grabbed the test off my desk and set off to dinner. Before entering the kitchen I paused to leave the test paper on the same side table whose drawer contained my father's gun. Everyone was already seated at the table and I took my seat with them. I sat silent, my eyes on my food that I was absently pushing around my plate. I couldn't eat. My worry boulder was taking up all the room in my stomach. I wasn't paying attention to any of the conversation taking place, and then I heard my name. "Bella, did you get your test score back today?"
With those words my father had instantly sent my heart racing and my palms sweating. I looked across the table at Rose. She met my gaze with a gentle smile. I turned towards my father who was looking at me with an expectant expression. "Well?"
"Yes, sir."
"Well bring it here so I can see it." I closed my eyes and rose from the table to retrieve the paper. I placed it on the table next to his dinner plate and retook my seat. I sat shoulders slumped, head hung, dreading his response. As my father looked the test over the tension in the room grew. We all sat still and silent awaiting what would happen next. Dad said nothing at first, just sighed and pushed back from the table a little ways. Then he spoke, "Well young lady this is absolutely unacceptable. What do you have to say for yourself?"
I kept my head down, eyes on my lap, "I'm sorr…." But my apology was cut short by my father slamming his hand down on the kitchen table. Rose, my mother and I all jumped.
"Saying sorry implies you will not do it again and I think your past record has shown that repeating mistakes is something of a talent for you!" My father's words hit me like needles.
"Did you even study?"
"Yes, I…"
"Don't lie to me! You couldn't have studied! You probably wasted all your time gossiping like a hen with that Alice Brandon!"
"No Sir, I.." SMACK my father's hand hit my cheek with stinging force. I could hear my mother's quiet gasp. My cheek stung and felt swollen to twice its normal size. Tears welled up in my eyes threatening to fall.
"HOW DARE YOU CONTRADICT ME!" my father's voice was at full volume now and he was standing over me, yelling down at my cowering form.
"I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR LAZINESS AFFECTING YOUR GRADES! YOUR SISTER CAN GET STRAIGHT A'S , SO CAN YOU! YOU HAD BETTER STUDY BEFORE YOUR NEXT TEST YOUNG LADY. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" I nodded, afraid to speak.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU ISABELLA. I ASKED DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
"Yes, sir. I understand," I kept my head down the tears were now flowing down my face.
"Good, now help your mother clean up dinner, then up to your room to study. No television, no phone calls!" with that my father crumbled my test into his fist and dropped on the floor by my feet. He then turned and stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room. I sat staring at the crumbled piece of paper at my feet, sniffling and wiping my tears with my hands. My mother and Rose were silent as they left the table and began to clear the table. After a moment I felt my mother's hand on my shoulder, "There, there Bella. A little more studying and next time you'll do better you'll see."
My mother meant those words to comfort me but instead the enraged me. Had she not seen him slap me?! How could she possibly think I was upset because of my test score?! I couldn't care less about my damn test score! It wasn't even that bad! Sure it was no perfect A but it wasn't a failing grade either! Part of me knew I didn't deserve to be treated like this but the other part of me knew that I was my parent's child and as that child I needed to be obedient and pleasing. It was the obedient half that finally won as I got up and helped my mother wash the dishes.
After leaving the kitchen spotless I quietly climbed the stairs to my room. The rest of my family was in the living room watching television acting as if nothing had happened. It was all part of our perfect image; the nurturing mother, the police chief father, two lovely daughters, and it was all in a little white picket fenced yard and a cozy little home. It was the American dream and we were the perfect model of it, at least on the outside.
Once in my room I looked over my face to assess the damage. My right cheek was bright red, slightly purple in a few spots, tender to the touch, and a little puffy. I went down the hall to the bathroom to get a cold wet wash cloth to help soothe it. When I got back to my room I shut the door and sat down at my desk to do my homework. I wasn't doing it because I had been ordered it; I was doing it because it was what I did EVERY night regardless of what my father thought. Halfway through my biology vocabulary definitions I heard the phone ring. I didn't dare go to answer it. I heard Rose's voice as she answered it downstairs, "Hello, Swan residence. Oh hi. No she can't right now. Ok I'll tell her you called. Bye."
It was no doubt Alice calling with some "big" news to share. Well I'd find out in the morning. With my homework complete I changed and got into bed. I couldn't sleep on my right side because it hurt to lie on my cheek so I laid on my back staring at the ceiling until finally I drifted off.