The Following Christmas
Two Alternate Universe Stories based on Villains' Bad Girl's Family Guy Universe
by LDEJRuff
Story I - Road to Vinny
Chapter 1.6 - Spheres Seven and Eight
"So, basically," New Brian began to Galahad, back on Mars, "that's how Peter came to the pet shop and adopted me. He needed to take Lois' advice on accepting the fact that Brian was getting old."
"Well,"Galahad replied, "he is getting older every year, Sir New Brian. But you know what they say: those who turn a year older get a year wiser. And besides, you have known during your time in Hell that he has started a family after mating with Lady Barbara. I just couldn't understand why she didn't like Sir Vincenzo to begin with."
"Probably because, after Brian died, she didn't want to remarry." Just then, he looked at his pocket watch, which he had stored in his left fur pocket. "Oh, look at the time! I must have talked so much with you about Brian and Barbara that I completely forgotten about their journey to find Vinny!" With that, he floated off of Mars' surface. "Nice chatting with you, Galahad."
"Good luck on your quest!" Galahad called back.
Just as soon as he heard Galahad's call, he began thinking to himself. "I wonder how I'm going to explain my being in Heaven to Brian, Barbara and the rest when I reach them."
Within range of the group was the sight of Saturn, the sphere of the contemplative souls, and the sixth rock from the Sun.
"Well, here we are, gang," Brian said, welcoming the group to Saturn. "On Saturn, the souls here are those who have royal blood."
"Like Queen Elizabeth?" Stewie guessed.
"Yes, Stewie," Barbara answered. "One day, she'll be on this sphere."
"I couldn't help but notice you all talking about my mother in-law," Princess Diana said to the group, coming in.
Stewie gasped. "Oh, my God. You're Diana, Princess of Wales!"
Diana giggled. "I'm glad you knew much about me, Stewart. Anyway, how is the family I left behind?"
"Well, your highness," Barbara began, "your eldest son, William, had gotten married and started a family recently."
"Yes," Brian agreed. "And since you died, Charles had thought about a second marriage, and chose Duchess Camilla of Cornwall. I know your love in his heart made him love again."
Diana chuckled. "Of course, you were all aware about the separation before my untimely death."
"Really, you and Charles were separated?" Stewie gasped. "How did that happen?"
"I guess we should save that story for another time, Stewie," Brian replied.
Sometime later, the group floated again, continuing their way to the Primum Mobile. They were experiencing the eighth and last sphere before their destination.
"This is it, Brian?" asked Stewie. "I would have hoped that Uranus, Neptune and Pluto would be the next spheres on our journey."
"Technically," Brian began, "when Dante wrote the third book in the Divine Comedy, those last three planets weren't discovered yet. Also, Pluto is considered a dwarf planet now. But just be thankful that this sphere, the Fixed Stars, will be the last sphere we enter before the Primum Mobile. Anyway, since Barbara and I have become Christians now, the next time we die, we're going to end up here."
"You've become Christians?" Briana asked.
"And the Fixed Stars represent Christianity?" Ollie added.
"Mmm-hmm," Jenny and Marcus nodded.
"And, to my knowledge," Barbara began, "the constellation Gemini is actually a pair of celestial beings. They are the guardians in this sphere, and help serve the balance of Christianity. Any soul who has died a Christian on Earth will gain guidance from them before they can enter."
Cutaway: We see the Gemini twins, depicted as a pair of blond-haired women wearing two different dresses, addressing a Christian preacher.
"So, you see," the twin in the white dress began, "we at the Fixed Stars act as guardians here."
"And if you need anything, sir," the twin in the black dress added, "just let us both know."
"Thank you, ladies," the preacher replied before entering the gate.
"Okay, who's next to enter?" the white-dressed twin asked.
Back to the floating group.
"And so, we're going to conclude our journey to find Vinny," Brian began as they were inches away from the Primum Mobile, "by entering the Primum Mobile."
"Yes," Barbara added. "And I do hope Vinny accepts my apology for hating him."
"I'm sure he will, Barbara," Brian assured. "I'm sure he will."