Okay – time for an update (and reviews if I'm lucky)! Sorry, I am almost completely out of ideas!
Authoress: -leans back on the sofa- Well, I'm out of ideas.
Artemis: -frowns- That's not good.
Anna-Maria: -lying on the floor with her head on a cushion- Where's Minerva? Maybe I can –
Artemis: Too violent!
Anna-Maria: -turns her head to look up at him- How did you know what I was going to say?
Artemis: -sits in a chair opposite her and looks bored- Because I've known you for a while now; it happens.
Minerva: -pops up out of nowhere- Hi, everyone!
Anna-Maria, Artemis, and the Authoress: -groan- Oh, no!
Minerva: -blinks- What's wrong with you guys? You've got a major case of boredom! Maybe we can do each other's hair, or –
Anna-Maria and the Authoress: -jump up simultaneously- Don't you dare touch our hair!
Minerva: -giggles-
Artemis: What is so humorous?
Minerva: -continues giggling- Dare and hair rhyme!
Anna-Maria: -blinks- Okay…
Authoress: When you're older, see my dad. He's a neurologist.
Minerva: -cocks her head- What's a neu – neu – whatever you said?
Anna-Maria: -whispers to Artemis- Either she is suffering from severe amnesia, she happens to be joking, or she has been replaced by an alien clone who is a complete dimwit.
Artemis: -whispers back- It's probably the latter.
Authoress: -blinks at Minerva- How did you get such a high I.Q.? A neurologist is a brain doctor.
Minerva: I may have cheated.
Authoress: No, I think you've just been replaced by a crazy person…or an evil twin who's a total nitwit.
Artemis: What makes you say that?
Authoress: -glances at him for a moment- Well, she's been here for five minutes and hasn't tried to jump on you once!
Anna-Maria: Hey, that's right; she hasn't!
Artemis: Yes, but I think she is preferable this way.
Authoress: I don't think so. -smacks Minerva in the head with a baseball bat-
Minerva: -falls in an unconscious heap on the floor-
Authoress: Will the real Minerva report to the Authoress's room, please?
Real Minerva: -opens the door- What?
Authoress: There you are. This impostor was trying to impersonate you.
Artemis: And badly.
Anna-Maria: -elbows him in the ribs-
Artemis: Ouch! You have sharp elbows, Anna-Maria.
Anna-Maria: Uh…I have no idea what a proper response to that is supposed to be.
Real Minerva: -stands over the fake Minerva- This is just a face mask. -pulls off the mask- And this impersonator happens to be Billy Kong – in a badly put-together outfit.
Readers: -gasp-
Anna-Maria and Artemis: Eh, we can beat him again.
Anna-Maria: Can I –
Artemis: Too violent!
Anna-Maria: Fine. I'll just slap the back of his head.
Minerva: No! That's how Artemis ended up missing three years!
Anna-Maria: He wouldn't have if you had kicked the back of his head instead of in the ribs.
Minerva: How did you…?
Anna-Maria: I saw the footage.
Minerva: Oh.
Billy Kong disguised as Minerva: -groans-
Everyone: -looks down at him – her, somebody!-
Anna-Maria: -punches his/her/its forehead quickly-
Billy Kong disguised as Minerva: -falls unconscious again-
Minerva: Can you teach me how to do that?
Anna-Maria: No.
Minerva: Why?
Anna-Maria: You're not exactly my favorite person in the world, Minerva.
Minerva: Why's that?
Artemis: Maybe because you continuously call me 'Arty', argue with her repeatedly, insist that I was mesmerized, and jump on me at least twice each chapter.
Minerva: -raises an eyebrow- When did I do that?
Anna-Maria: -turns to the Authoress- Do you think that maybe that was Billy Kong disguised as Minerva the entire time? I thought it was odd because Minerva usually –
Minerva: Hey, you're that half-fairy girl who wouldn't let me get near Artemis on Valentine's day.
Anna-Maria: …That's clearly Minerva.
Artemis: How unfortunate for me.
Minerva: -looks at him sorrowfully- What does that mean?
Authoress: -interjects before Artemis can reply- Hang on, we've got to get this…thug off of my set – I mean, out of my room!
Artemis: -looks around him- Is that where we are?
Anna-Maria: Nice wallpaper.
Authoress: -frowns- Not my idea. But I get my own study…if only I could fill it with technology.
Minerva: What are you guys doing in here anyway?
Anna-Maria: Just enjoying each others' company, more or less.
Minerva: -frowns and furrows her brow in thought- I remember something about you…weren't you acting as if you were Artemis's girlfriend?
Anna-Maria: I am not his girlfriend!
Authoress: No, not yet. But you will be soon enough.
Artemis: What?
Authoress: -looks nervous- Oh, I've said too much already. Um...let's get rid of Billy who is dressed as a girl. –waves her arm over him/her/whatever-
Billy disguised as Minerva: -disappears-
Authoress: Let's get a guest-star for this chapter.
Artemis: Anyone we know?
Authoress: -grins- Yes…and no.
Anna-Maria: What is that supposed to –
Authoress: -snaps her fingers-
Two people: -appear-
Anna-Maria: …mean? -looks uncomfortable- Who are these two?
Minerva: They look familiar.
Authoress: They should, you're looking at older versions of yourselves!
Artemis: -stares at his older self- So, how is it in the future?
Artemis' Older Self: -smiles- It is as eventful as the past, I can tell you that much!
Minerva: Why can't I see what I'll be like when I'm older?
Authoress: I've seen what you're like, and you don't want to know!
Anna-Maria: -stares at her older self- Boy, I really let myself go! Do you eat junk food twenty-four hours a day or something?!
Authoress: What are you talking about? -looks closer at Anna-Maria's older self- Oh, oh.
Artemis and his Older Self: Oh, oh? What oh, oh?
Authoress: -looks uncomfortable- I, uh – I think I pulled your older selves out of the wrong time period.
Anna-Maria: What?
Authoress: The reason your older self is so…big is because she – you are six months pregnant.
Artemis and Anna-Maria: WHAT?!
Authoress: Ehm…pregnant with twins.
Anna-Maria: -faints-
Anna-Maria's Older Self: -looks down at her- Yeah, that was my reaction, too. Except Artemis caught me before I could hit the floor.
Artemis: -talking to his older self- Identical?
Artemis' Older Self: No, one's male and the other is female.
Artemis: Have you thought of names?
Anna-Maria's Older Self: Artemis Julio and Angelina Holly Fowl.
Artemis: Those are long names.
Artemis' Older Self: Well, we can give them nicknames.
Artemis: Not Angy and Arty!
Anna-Maria's Older Self: Of course not! Arty is your nickname. -points to his older self- And consequently, it's his too.
Artemis: How long have you – we been married?
Artemis' Older Self: A year and two months.
Minerva: How come I don't get to marry Artemis?
Artemis: What did you get her for your anniversary?
Artemis' Older Self: A huge cake – she has cravings, and an emerald bracelet.
Artemis: Did it match her eyes?
Artemis' Older Self: Perfectly.
Artemis: -grins- Good job.
Anna-Maria's Older Self: Will someone get me – the younger me, some water and wake me up? -covers her mouth with her hands- I need the bathroom!
Authoress: Down the hall and to your left.
Artemis: Morning sickness?
Artemis' Older Self: Right on target. -follows Anna-Maria's Older Self- Be careful, dear! Do you need anything? Like a cream pie and pickles on the side?
Artemis: -flicks water on Anna-Maria's face- Maybe that's why she needed to vomit.
Anna-Maria: -frowns at the Authoress- Why did you do that? We're not supposed to know our future!
Minerva: -whines- Why does she get Artemis instead of me?
Authoress: Keep you head on, Minerva! -to Anna-Maria and Artemis- Relax, you'll forget all about it in 3, 2, 1…
Anna-Maria: Who's the guest-star?
Authoress: I don't know. Maybe Tiziano Ferro?
Anna-Maria: Hmmm…no.
Artemis: I could sing instead.
Authoress and Anna-Maria: NO!
Artemis: I'm not that bad! Although I do sing best in Hindi.
Minerva: -blinks- Why?
Artemis: How should I know? The words just sound nice in my voice.
Readers: So…can we come back next time?
Authoress: Sure.
Minerva: I want Arty!
Anna-Maria: -leaps on top of Minerva- Shut it, blondie! Geez, Kong's impression of you wasn't that far off after all!
Artemis: Well, as long as Anna-Maria doesn't get hurt, I don't mind. Pass the chicken teriyaki please.
Please, please review! Please!