A/N: OK, so this is the second last chapter and the last update for the next three weeks. I'm going away on vacation to Mexico with my grandmother and I won't be thinking about anything except how much I need this break from real life. Because really; exams, Gary, school in general, deciding to go to university or just travel until I know what I should do with my life, etc is very exhausting! I actually slept for about fifteen hours last night and today; best thing I've ever done.

Anyway, here you go. I hope this fills the Ron/Hermione that apparently everyone has been aching for. Enjoy!

Chapter Five: Complicated Musings

Hermione lay in bed, turning over the words David had said to her a few nights ago.

'You don't trust me.'

David sighed and rolled onto his back and turned his head to look at her.

'I trust you.'

'No, you don't! If you did, you'd trust my word that I'm in love with you and not Ron.'

David furrowed his eyebrows.

'I never said you were in love with Ron.'

Hermione sighed.

'Well you sure as hell are acting like you think I am!' she exclaimed.

David stiffened slightly and Hermione gasped.'You do think I am, don't you?' she demanded.

David kind of shrugged.

'I dunno,' he mumbled. 'I really don't. You said it before; you and Ron and Harry have a different kind of friendship. You've been through different things together; much different from what any other person and their friends would have gone through. You fought in a war and swore to die for each other. So I don't know if you are, in fact, in love with him, or if you're just passionate about your friendship.'

Hermione sighed deeply and rolled her head to look at the clock; 3.12 a.m. Grumbling quietly so she wouldn't wake David, she slipped her housecoat on, stepped into her slippers and headed for the kitchen. Hermione sat down at the table and sighed again, running her fingers through her hair.

I'm not in love with Ron; if I were, why would David and I have been together for a year and a half?

Hermione let her head rest in her hands.

Then what makes David and Dad think that I am?

Well, think about what David said; are you in love with Ron? Or are you just really passionate about your friendship?

Well, I'm obviously passionate about my friendship with Ron. But that doesn't mean that I'm in love with him!

Then what about that pact you made with Ron during the war?

Hermione sighed.

What pact?

HA! "What pact" she says. You know what pact, Granger!

Hermione groaned and rested her head in her hands.

'Hermione, do you want kids when you get married?'

'Well, yeah, I guess. It'd be nice to have a house full of little ones,' Hermione replied softly, rolling to face Ron. 'Why?'

Ron shrugged slightly.

'I was just wondering,' he said.

Hermione nodded.

'What about you?'

'Oh yeah,' said Ron, nodding and grinning slightly. 'I think that having a kid with someone really proves that they love you.'

'And what about the people who get married just to have kids?' Hermione asked, propping her head onto her hand.

Ron shrugged.

'They just really want kids, I guess.'

Hermione nodded and looked at the ground in front of her, tracing mindless shapes in the dirt.

'I've an idea,' said Ron suddenly.

Hermione looked up.

'What?'

'We both want kids, right?'

'Right...'

'Well, why don't we make a pact?' Ron asked. 'If we're both single by the time we're ... thirty, say, we'll get married and have kids together!'

Hermione frowned slightly and took his idea in, turning it over in her mind.

'Yeah, OK,' she said, nodding. 'Sounds like a good idea.'

Ron grinned and Hermione smiled back.

Oh. That pact.

Yeah; that pact.

I just want kids.

No you don't; you remember exactly what was going through your head when you thought about his proposal.

Hermione groaned again and let her head fall from her hands, hitting the kitchen table. She did, in fact, remember what she had thought when Ron proposed that they get married if they were still single by the time they were thirty.

"If I can stay single until then and keep Ron single as well, I'll end up marrying the love of my life".

Bingo!

But that was then. Now I have David instead. Seems I was merely infatuated with Ron.

For five years?

Shut up. Yes, for five years. Infatuation is strong, but love is stronger

Infatuation is when you think that he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissinger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Conners. Love is when you realise that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Conners, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissinger, and nothing like Robert Redford, but you'll take him anyway.

But David's perfect.

Exactly; infatuation. Ron's not perfect; no one can be perfect. Ron is the one you're in love with.

No, I'm not; you're wrong.It was in the middle of dinner a few nights later when Hermione proved her inner voice wrong.

'Are you OK?'

David looked up at her and nodded.

'Yeah. Yeah, I'm OK.'

Hermione smiled slightly.

'You seem a little quiet. Is something bugging you?'

'Well, I actually had a question to ask you, but I haven't exactly figured out how to say it.'

'Oh? What about?'

'Work.'

Hermione nodded and set her fork down.

'What about it? Is the project too much?'

David shook his head.

'No, I'm just wondering ... I'm wondering whether this would be too big of a deal at work.'

'Whether what would be too big of a deal at work?'

David cleared his throat, pulled out a box and opened it. Hermione's mouth fell open and she blinked a couple of times. David cleared his throat again and got down on one knee in front of her, holding the box out to her.

'I am completely in love with you, Hermione Granger. And I know that I'm not good enough for you, but if you let me, I'll try for the rest of my life to make you completely happy. Marry me?'

Hermione grinned a bit and threw her arms around David's neck.

'Yes!' she exclaimed, tears leaking down her cheeks.

David hugged her back and kissed her deeply before taking the ring and slipping it onto her left ring finger. Hermione sat back a bit, grinning slightly. David held up a hand palm down.

'Look at this,' he said, showing her his hand.

Hermione laughed slightly; his hand was shaking.

'Nervous?' she teased.

David chuckled and nodded.

'Yeah,' he said. 'Hermione, you have no idea; I've never been this afraid in my entire life.'

Hermione laughed a bit.

'I think I have some idea of what that's like,' she murmured, brushing her nose against his.

David closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers.

'I didn't even think about that,' he mumbled.

Hermione chuckled slightly.

'I didn't ask you to, love,' she whispered, brushing back some of his hair.

David sighed and nuzzled her neck softly. Hermione giggled a bit and squirmed, trying to get away. David chuckled and held her in place, brushing kisses just below her ear, gently nipping the lobe. Hermione moaned softly and David led her to lie on the floor where both sets of trousers were stripped off along with tops and undergarments. Hermione looped her arms around David's neck as he entered her, making them both moan. He set a slow rhythm and Hermione came sooner than she expected, shuddering on the tile floor as David's head dropped to her shoulder and her nails sank into the skin of his back. David's back arched and he exploded deep inside of her, calling her name loudly before dropping back down onto her, panting.

Hermione wrapped her arms around her fiancé and grinned, closing her eyes.

'Dinner's wrecked now,' she murmured.

David grunted as he peeled himself off of her and gathered their clothes. Hermione sat up wincing slightly as the after-effects of using the cold tile floor for a bed started to set in her naked flesh. She turned her neck and it cracked slightly, making Hermione wince again. David reached down and helped her to her feet, pulling her close and rubbing her back to warm her up.

'Don't care about dinner, babe,' he murmured.

'Good; I don't either,' Hermione whispered. 'In fact, I think we should go to bed.'

David raised his eyebrows slightly and Hermione smirked. David groaned deeply and lifted Hermione off of her feet, kissing her and walking her into their bedroom.

Hermione stretched a bit and wobbled into her office, passing David, who winked at her. Hermione stopped and glanced around the office before leaning down and kissing him. David kissed her back before pulling back, laughing as the entire office erupted into cat-calls and applause. Hermione stood up straight and held up her left hand.

'Sod off and get back to work,' she said, letting the light glint off her diamond, 'we're engaged; it's allowed.'

David grinned and pulled Hermione onto his lap, kissing her deeply. Hermione squeaked slightly before relaxing and kissing him again. They pulled back and Hermione smirked at him, pecking his cheek before standing and walking into her office.

It was Ron's birthday and everyone was at their weekly pub to celebrate. Not able to take it anymore, Hermione jumped to her feet.

'I have news!' she exclaimed.

Everyone looked up at her and she cleared her throat before holding up her left hand and grinning.

'I'm engaged to David. We're gonna get married!'

'You're going to be Hermione Puckle?' Ron asked.

'Yes.'

Ron was quiet for a couple seconds.

'It doesn't suit you.'

'What does, Ronald?' Hermione drawled.

'I dunno ... Granger, I s'pose.'

'So in your eyes, I can never get married, is that what you're saying?' she snapped.

'Well, not never, but ... you know ... to the right guy.'

'And David's not the right guy?'

'Well, I don't ... never mind,' Ron sighed. 'Nothing I've ever said has stopped you before.'

'Exactly,' said Hermione smugly. 'If you don't want to come, then don't.'

The entire table was quiet for a couple minutes before Ron spoke again.

'Hermione Weasley sounds good.'

'Honestly, Ronald. Are you THAT full of yourself?' Hermione asked.

Ron shrugged.

'I'm just saying that it sounds better than Puckle,' he said, holding up his hands.

Hermione huffed and Ginny reached forward and gripped her arm.

'Congratulations, Hermione,' she said, grinning.

Hermione looked at Ginny and smiled.

'Thanks, Gin,' she said.

'Mmm. That's perfect.'

'Yeah?'

'Mmhmm,' Hermione replied through a mouthful of chocolate. She swallowed. 'It's perfect. Taste it.'

Hermione took some of the cake onto the fork and brought it to Jamie's mouth. Jamie sucked the cake off and his eyes widened.

'Oh, sweet Merlin above, it is perfect! Oh, David with love it!' he squealed.

Hermione grinned.

'I hope so. He really wants to help with the wedding, but there's not much left to do, considering it's only two weeks away. I have my dress, you have your tux, he has his, all the flowers are chosen along with the menus and the band's booked. Mr Weasley has agreed to perform the ceremony and Mrs Weasley is probably going crazy with the tent in the backyard as we speak,' she said. 'After nine months, everything's more or less covered.'

Jamie patted Hermione on the back.

'Hun, let me tell you that as long as you give him chocolate, David Puckle will be happy with anything you do,' he said.

Hermione blushed.

'I knew he liked it, but I didn't think it was a passion of his,' she said.

Jamie chuckled.

'I'm surprised some of your liaisons haven't included chocolate,' he said.

Hermione's blush deepened.

'I never said they didn't,' she mumbled.

Jamie gasped.

'When?' he exclaimed.

Hermione cleared her throat.

'His birthday cake was absent for a reason, Jamie,' she said, sure that she could cook an egg on her face.

Jamie laughed and hugged Hermione.

'Oh, darling if you've already let him eat chocolate off of you, you're sure to have a happy marriage!'

Hermione giggled slightly.

'How long have you two been friends?' she asked.

'Oh, forever,' Jamie replied as Hermione filled in the order form for the cake.

'Kids?'

'Mmhmm,' said Jamie. 'I just thought he was a normal boy and then he got this letter telling him he was a wizard. Well, being non-magical I couldn't go, but David would tell me everything. At first I thought he was making it up but then he showed me his wand and I believed him. That's how I knew you were Hermione Granger when he mentioned Harry; I had never seen you, but I knew who you were and what you had done.'

Hermione blushed slightly.

'Why have I never met David's parents?' she asked him as they left the shoppe.

Jamie's shoulders fell slightly.

'Poor thing,' he said. 'His parents died in the War. What's - His - Name - That - Can't - Be - Said or whatever had his followers kill them.'

Hermione blinked slightly.

'I never knew that,' she whispered.

'Why do you think he's so attracted to you, darling?' Jamie drawled. 'You're beautiful, intelligent, sharp, but to top it all off, you killed the man who killed his parents!'

Hermione nodded a bit, still absorbing the information.

'I suppose he wouldn't have wanted me to know that last part.'

'Darling, I'm sure he would tell you if you had asked.'

Hermione smiled at Jamie, who wrapped his arm around her as they walked toward her flat.

It was a Friday night, about a week before the wedding and the three tables that the Golden Trio and their friends had pushed together were buzzing with excitement regarding Hermione's wedding. David sat to Hermione's right, clasping her hand in his and grinning like a madman. Hermione had rested her head on his shoulder and was watching Ron, who was sitting with his arms folded over his chest, glaring at David, who was chatting with Parvati and Padma Patil.

Hermione stood, brushing her trouser legs off before turning and walking towards the loo. When she came out, she felt a hand clap over her mouth and an arm wrapped around her waist, hauling her backwards. She heard a door swing open and saw the sign indicating that she was being dragged into the men's loo. She tried to scream but the hand blocked it.

'For Merlin's sake, My, it's me!' Ron hissed.

Ron let her go and Hermione whipped around, poking a finger into his chest.

'What are you doing?' she exclaimed. 'Honestly, Ronald, sometimes I don't understand how your brain -'

Ron pressed her against the sinks and kissed her fiercely, his hands wandering to her hips, pulling her closer. Hermione was talking against his mouth but he slipped his tongue in and it brushed against hers and Hermione moaned softly, ceasing her arguing and wrapping her arms around Ron's neck, pulling his head closer to hers. Ron groaned slightly as his hips rubbed against hers and Hermione arched against him, grinding herself down onto his erection. They pulled apart and Hermione looked at him.

'Ron, what -?'

'Don't marry David,' he panted.

Hermione blinked.

'And why not?'

'Because he's not the one for you.'

'You don't know that.'

'Yes, I do,' Ron replied.

Hermione opened her mouth to debate the matter further but Ron's mouth crashed into hers once again and soon her trousers were opened and his fingers were moving inside of her, making her pant and moan and roll her hips. He bit gently at the skin of her neck and she cried out as his thumb brushed against her clit. She shook as her orgasm hit, her grip on Ron's hair tightening. Ron grunted and Hermione kissed him again, wrapping her legs around his waist.

Ron picked her up off the sink counter and walked backwards until they were in a stall. He locked the door and pressed Hermione against the wall and stripped her trousers off of her, tossing them on the back of the toilet. He put the seat down and sat with Hermione on top of him, her knickers pushed to the side. Hermione moaned as she heard the zipper of Ron's trousers and he was poised to enter her when the sound of the door opening drew their attention.

'Ron, are you in here?'

Ron looked at Hermione with wide eyes.

'That you, David?' he asked.

'Yeah. Have you seen Hermione?'

Yup; I'm right here, about to shag my best friend even though I'm engaged to you! Hermione thought.

Ron looked at her and she shook her head.

'Nope; haven't seen her,' he choked out.

'Well, if you do, will you tell her that I went home and I'll see her tomorrow?'

'Of course,' Ron gritted out.

'Thanks,' said David. 'See you!'

They held their breaths until the door closed. Hermione sighed and got off of Ron, eyes closed. She stumbled backwards until she hit the door.

'Can't,' she whispered. 'Ron, I can't.'

Ron stood and lifted her chin slightly.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered. 'I … I didn't think it would go this far. Just … please, Hermione. I can't stand to watch you marry him.'

'Why not?' Hermione breathed.

Ron's face twisted in agony.

'You don't know,' he mumbled. 'Fuck; how could I be so stupid? Of course you don't know; why would you?'

Ron turned away from her and sat down on the toilet, his head in his hands; he seemed to be talking to himself.

'Stupid is what you are, Weasley,' he mumbled. 'Why would she feel the same? She's way too good for you. You're nothing compared to anyone.'

Hermione walked towards him and knelt down, running her fingers through his hair.

'Ron, don't talk like that,' she murmured. 'You're better than anyone I know. Even Harry.'

Ron snorted.

'Then why aren't you in love with me?' he asked quietly.

Hermione chuckled slightly and Ron raised his head. Hermione felt tears forming in her eyes.

'To be completely honest with you, Ron,' she whispered, 'I am in love with you. But you're my best friend. And I found David. And I'm happy.'

'So that's it, huh?' Ron asked. 'You don't want to fight for us. Instead, you'll take the easy way out and marry David? Is that it?'

The tears fell down Hermione's face.

'I couldn't bear the hurt of losing you, Ron,' she whimpered, clinging to his shirt. 'You mean too much to me.'

Ron sighed and stood, handing Hermione her trousers and waiting until she had pulled them back on before opening the stall.

'You should go home,' he said, not looking at her.

Hermione sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, leaning her head against his spine.

'I'm sorry,' she whispered.

'Yeah,' said Ron, pulling away from her, 'me too.'

'Hermione? That you?'

Hermione looked up from the couch in her parents' living room and saw her father in the doorway to the hall. She managed to choke out a sob before Jack walked over and gently tugged her to her feet. Hermione collapsed against him and Jack wrapped his arms around her, holding her up.

'It's Hermione,' he called. 'Make some tea, Karen; I get the feeling it's going to be a long night.'

Hermione opened her eyes and blinked a few times before looking around; she was situated between her parents on their bed. She raised her left arm to check her watch and accidentally hit her mother. Karen shifted and opened her eyes.

'What's wrong, dear?' she whispered.

'I'm sorry, Muma,' Hermione murmured. 'I was just trying to check my watch.'

Karen smiled.

'Go back to sleep, dear,' she said. 'Judging by the sun, it's only nine.'

Hermione's eyes widened.

'David,' she breathed. 'He'll be wondering where -'

A knock on the front door interrupted her. Karen placed a hand on Hermione's shoulder and rolled out of bed, pulling on her housecoat and stepping into her slippers. Hermione sighed and placed her head back on the pillow.

'You OK?' Jack asked.

Hermione rolled her head on the pillow and saw her father looking at her, concern etched into his laugh lines. She shrugged.

'I don't know yet,' she mumbled.

Jack shifted a bit and pressed a kiss to Hermione's forehead.

'Things will work out, Mya,' he whispered. 'I know it.'

'But will they work out the way I want them too?' Hermione whispered.

Jack shrugged and pointed to the door.

'Listen,' he breathed.

Hermione listened carefully; she could hear her mother talking.

'…here, but she's sleeping.'

'I need to see her, Mrs Granger. It's important.'

David!

'I'm sorry, dear. She had a rough night; I don't want to wake her.'

Hermione looked at her father before jumping out of bed and walking down the hallway.

'Mum, who is it?' she asked, feigning ignorance.

Karen turned and Hermione felt her heart drop as David Puckle's eyes locked with hers.

'Hermione,' he breathed.

Hermione sighed sadly.

'Hi,' she whispered.

David walked forward and stopped in front of her.

'Ron came to see me last night,' he murmured.

Hermione felt her stomach clench and she tried to swallow the large lump in her throat.

'Why'd he do that?'

David cleared his throat.

'He wanted to apologise to me,' he said.

'Apologise for what?'

'I think he put it as, "defiling your future wife",' said David.

Hermione blinked.

'He knows what "defiling" means?'

David blinked at her.

'Really? That's the problem here?'

Hermione closed her eyes and shook her head.

'No; I'm sorry. You're right. Defiled me, you say?' she asked.

David made a noise in the back of his throat and Hermione once again felt her stomach clench.

'Aye, yeah,' said David. 'Care to explain, babe?'

Hermione cleared her throat.

'Actually, yes,' she said. 'I think we should talk. Alone. Come on.'

David followed her into her childhood bedroom and Hermione closed the door behind him. Looking down at her left hand, she slowly slipped the ring off her finger and took David's hand, pressed it into his palm and closed his fingers around it. David opened his hand and looked at the ring before looking back up at Hermione.

'What's this mean?' he asked.

Hermione felt tears form in her eyes.

'I can't do this,' she whispered. 'You were right; I'm in love with Ronald Bilius Weasley. And I fully realised it last night when he more or less abducted me and then snogged me against the men's sinks.'

David sucked in a breath.

'You were with him when I came in last night, weren't you?' he asked.

Hermione's head fell and the tears spilt over as she nodded.

'Yes,' she whispered. 'He kissed me and I forgot about everything until you walked in.'

'You're in love with him?' David asked.

Hermione nodded slowly.

'I'm so sorry, David,' she whispered, looking at him.

David sighed and brushed past her, leaving her room and slamming the door behind him. Hermione closed her eyes and sobbed as she heard him storm out of the house, Karen calling after him.

Hermione was curled up on her side, looking out the window. It was winter; snow flew past her window while the wind howled through the cracks. She sniffed slightly and wiped at her eyes before looking at her clock; 7.13 pm. She should have been Mrs Hermione Jean Puckle by now, if she hadn't called off the wedding a week ago.

Sighing, Hermione closed her eyes and attempted to sleep. Yelling from the living room prevented it. Getting up, Hermione bundled herself up in her housecoat and walked out of her room and down the hallway.

'I don't even know you!' Jack exclaimed.

'Well your daughter does and if she sees me and doesn't know why I'm here, then we're going to have a huge problem!'

Hermione gaped.

'Jamie?' she exclaimed.

James Peterson was not a scary looking man. He wasn't built to look tough or mean, but rather built to do exactly what he did for a living; brush make-up over faces. So the fact that he came charging at Hermione like a pissed off bull was both alarming and rather amusing in Hermione's eyes.

'You!' he yelled; Hermione took a step away from him. 'I told you not to hurt him or I'd come after you!'

Hermione held her hands up.

'Jamie, I swear, I -'

'I don't want to hear it!' Jamie snapped. 'You hurt him! I told you! I said, "You seem wonderful, but if you hurt my Davie-bear, I'll hunt you down"!'

'I know, Jamie. Will you just let me explain?' Hermione pleaded, tears in her eyes.

Jamie's nostrils flared and he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

'Fine,' he spat. 'Explain then. Explain how you told me that you wouldn't hurt him and then proceeded to rip his heart out, tear it to shreds, feed it to your bloody cat and then give it back!'

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath.

'I thought I was in love with him. But I'm not. Jamie, I honestly never thought I would hurt him. If anything, I thought he would hurt me instead. I'm in love with Ron. Not David. And I'm so sorry,' she whispered, crying.

Jamie looked at her and sighed, walking forward and wrapping his arms around her.

'OK, darling. It's OK. Shh, it's all right,' he murmured.

Hermione clung to his shirt and he stroked her hair gently.

'I'd still kill for your hair,' he whispered after several minutes.

Hermione let out a noise between a hiccough and a laugh and Jamie pulled back a bit to look at her.

'Prat,' she mumbled, smirking.

Jamie grinned at her and Hermione sniffled slightly.

'Um … mind introducing us, Mya?' Jack asked.

Jamie turned around and held out his hand.

'Terribly sorry, Mr Granger,' he said. 'James Peterson; David Puckle's best friend.'

Jack visibly tensed slightly at the name of Hermione's ex-fiancé but shook Jamie's hand regardless.

'Jack Granger,' he said.

Jamie smiled at him and then turned back to Hermione.

'You look like shite, darling; have you been sleeping at all?'

Hermione shook her head and Jamie tutted.

'Come on, then; let's get you into bed,' he said, grabbing Hermione by the shoulders and turning her around to steer her into her bedroom.

Hermione woke up the next morning curled up next to Jamie, who had his arms wrapped around her and was snoring. She smiled slightly and lay her head back on his chest, closing her eyes to go back to sleep.

'All right, darling. Now, who's this Ron bloke?' Jamie asked, arms around Hermione.

Hermione sighed and Summoned a picture. Jamie gasped.

'Ronald Weasley?' he exclaimed.

Hermione nodded and Jamie hugged her closer.

'Oh, darling,' he cooed. 'How does he feel about you?'

Hermione took a shaky breath.

'He feels the same about me, apparently,' she replied quietly.

Jamie looked down at her.

'Then what's the problem?' he asked.

Hermione looked at him.

'Huh?'

Jamie sighed heavily.

'You know, for the brightest witch of your age, you're pretty thick sometimes,' he said. Hermione frowned and opened her mouth to retort, but Jamie waved her off and continued. 'You're in love with Ronald. Ronald is in love with you. Generally, this is a rare occurrence and is more often than not acted upon.'

Hermione blinked at him.

'Are you saying that I should forget about what happened with David and just go to Ron?'

Jamie grinned.

'David's getting better,' he said. 'He was talking to some girl. Padma or something.'

Hermione gaped.

'Padma Patil?' she exclaimed. 'Wow. Already?'

'Mmhmm. Doing less talking and more … you know?' he said with a wink.

Hermione blinked.

'I'd think that after a week he'd still be upset,' she said dryly.

Jamie giggled.

'He's hurting, sweetheart, I can tell you that much. Why else would he shag someone? He called your name.'

Hermione gaped at him in horror.

'You stayed that long?' she nearly shrieked. 'James Peterson!'

Jamie grinned widely.

'S'not my fault,' he drawled. 'David crashed at my place and apparently lost track of when I come home. Heard a thumping and of course I immediately knew what was going on. So, naturally, I sat on the couch and listened.'

Hermione gaped and then started laughing.

'Jamie, you are a very odd man,' she said.

Jamie's grin widened.

'Ah, but I make you laugh. And that, darling, is important.'

A/N: The little thing about infatuation versus love is something I found and was said (or written, I'm not sure which) by Judith Viorst. I don't remember where I found it -- it might have been on a story here -- but I love it and it helped this story along.