Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Rated: MA

Chapter warning: Contains violence

Thanks to our lovely beta JUL5857. Juls, we love you!

Hostage of Love

Chapter 5

Face-off

Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dream that you dare to—

why, oh, why

can't

I?

Israel Kamakawiwo Ole, Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Jacob came home in the early morning hours. His father was already waiting for him. Jacob helped him with the shower and get dressed, but he didn't talk to him like he normally did. He just couldn't talk and pretend everything was okay when it wasn't.

Billy gazed at him observantly and grabbed him by his wrist. "What have you done?" he asked, staring at Jacob's demolished hand.

Jacob remained silent. He had nothing to say. What was there to say anyway? Father, I have failed? He let Billy remove several wooden splinters out of his hand and put tape on a deep gash that hadn't healed yet. It hurt, but his heart hurt more.

"You have tried," Billy said softly, soothing, but to Jacob it was a reproach.

He turned around and went into his room. The door clicked shut.

.

oOo

.

Jacob was crouched in a corner of his room, allowing the pain to flow freely once again. He couldn't stop thinking of why Bella had looked for him. What did she want, and why the FUCK didn't he stop her from running away from him? Her pleading eyes haunted him ever since. Silently, he let the tears fall down his face. He had never felt this much pain, nor had he ever felt this level of desperation. He did not want to do anything other than sit here and think about everything over and over again.

Bella's wedding rolled like a movie in infinite loop through his brain. He relived their conversation, remembering his sheer disbelieve about her comments of wanting a real wedding night.

Damn you, Bella! Damn, the day I fell in love with you. Damn all those leeches back to hell. Why was he not enough! He would have happily laid down his life for her. Why couldn't she see that and accept it? He could have made her happy. He was certain of it. His tears streamed like rivers down his face. How could she believe this leech? How could she not see what he really was? Why was she so blind?

And now, she will die. Die and be cold and hard like them, he thought. This was what she wanted—giving her life to become one of them. He felt so powerless and hurt in the knowledge that he meant nothing to her, that he wasn't enough. But... I. Do. Not. ..!

Jacob wondered if he had left marks on her delicate arms. He was damn sure that he had. After all, he had grabbed onto them rather hard when he shook her, trying to put some sense into her stubborn brain. For the tiniest moment, he speculated if Cullen would give her a hard time because of those marks.

If Bella were his, Jacob knew he would have the other guy's ass for hurting his wife, but what if Cullen put the blame on Bella? Would she have to suffer his wrath? Jacob's face contorted with rage and he felt his body start shaking. The thought that the leech might blame her was so unbearable that he had to let it go. She was out of his reach by now anyway. Gone, and there was no way that he could come to her help, even if he actually wanted to help her. Not that he wanted to, but still…

His thoughts wandered back to when their eyes locked that very moment when Sam and Seth started to drag him away from her. Her eyes bore straight into his soul. He saw something that showed what he had been waiting to see since forever, but she had never let him see that before. He saw it clearly that look and he saw love for him, real love but also hopelessness, desperation and maybe… longing?

Sitting in his tiny room with the curtains closed he tried to understand. If he had seen her love for him, had she finally realized how much she actually was in love with him, that her love for that stinky leech wasn't that irrevocable as she always had thought? Could this have been the reason why she ran after him? And, if it had been that reason, than he understood why she ran away when she caught Leah and him getting it on in the woods.

"Fuck!" he growled under his breath, acutely aware that he had missed his very last opportunity to get a hold of her, to maybe change her mind, or at least to talk to her for a very last time. His shaking got stronger, but he forced himself to keep still. He didn't want to phase. Phasing in his state of mind made him vulnerable and would expose his feelings to his pack brothers, which was something he wanted to avoid as long as possible.

But the urge to phase was strong as his emotions were so overwhelming and Jacob pressed his back into the wall, trying to create some kind of support. Yet again, he lifted the hand holding his cell phone to his ear and for the umpteenth time, he automatically pressed the redial key just to hear Bella's voice again. Everything would be better when he would hear her voice, but when he finally heard it and hope flared up in him, it was only her voicemail. Again. "Hello, this is Bella. Leave a message." Giving in to the fury he was feeling, he roared out, throwing his cell straight across his room. It hit the wall and shattered to thousand pieces.

A loud bang on his door ripped him out of his self-loathing. "Jacob!" he heard Billy call out sterner than he did before. "Sam is on the phone for you. You better get out of here right now! "His father's unusual harsh tone made him feel nervous for some reason and he got up, ever so slowly.

Jacob dragged himself into the bathroom to take a quick look at his tired face in the mirror. His eyes were red and swollen; he felt that his spirit and his will to go on was almost completely drained out of him. He had to figure something out and figure it out fast. He couldn't go on like this. He wouldn't degenerate into a Bella-like zombie status. He loathed being weak and if he gave in to the pain and despair then he was weak.

Jacob opened the faucet and turned the water cold. Then he washed his face, but the red splotches on his face remained. He shrugged and feeling demotivated, shuffled himself into the kitchen, avoiding his father's disapproving look when he ripped the phone out of his hand.

"What the fuck do you want, Sam?" Jacob aggressively barked into the phone. Sam better have a good reason to call him, because today he wasn't scheduled for patrolling and just for one day, Jacob wanted to be completely free of pack business. He wanted to just forget about the pack and his inner wolf for once.

He heard Sam's fast erratic breathing first, then his strained response, "I just got done talking to Leah. I believe you've got some explaining to do. I'm going to be at your house in five minutes. You better be ready for me, Black!" The phone fell silent and forcefully, Jacob put down the phone with a curse. Fuck you, Sam!

"What have you done?" his father asked again with worry in his voice and stared at him long and hard, but Jacob refused to answer, so Billy rolled himself out of the kitchen and into the living room. He turned the TV on and the volume up like he never had done before. Billy looked really worried, but Jacob was in no way ready for a talk with his father. He felt a little pang in his chest and he knew he would have to talk to Billy real soon.

Jacob took some deep breaths that should calm him down, but it was to no avail. He felt threatened by Sam and his wolf didn't like that at all. It was clear to Jacob that Sam had a problem with what he must have heard from Leah or seen in her memories – that they had fucked each other's brains out. With this realization he became aware that he now saw her completely different. Even though they weren't in love with each other, what they had shared was very special to him and he wouldn't allow Sam to talk it down.

Leah wasn't Sam's business anymore. He shouldn't care anymore as HE was the one leaving Leah, hurting her down to the core. It pissed Jacob off that Sam now – when she was finally trying to move on - was interfering. Sam had his imprint and no matter for how long he had been together with Leah before the imprint Leah wasn't tied to him anymore other than through the pack. Sam had no fucking right to meddle with Leah's decisions. Not as her Alpha and even less as her ex. It was her decision if she wanted to fuck him, Jacob, or the entire male population of the state of Washington for that matter.

Unexpectedly, Jacob felt sort of protective over Leah. Thinking about her being with Sam or some other male enraged his unsettled mind even more and his skin crawled. He growled and the vibrations in his body increased; his wolf was close, too close, to the surface. God Dammit! Not in the house. Dad. Too close.

Blazing hot, white fury welled up in him, forcing him to leave before he lost it with his father in close proximity. So he went, yelling over his shoulder, "I'm out!" before slamming the door shut. The old walls rattled dangerously.

As soon as he left the steps of his house, he heard his Alpha in the woods, even smelled his fury, and he phased on the spot, not caring if someone might see him.

They were the only ones in wolf form right now. It was only Sam in his head when he bolted into the forest. To tick him off, Jacob thought of last night purposefully and pictured Leah on top of him as she arched her back while riding him passionately.

Sam roared out and through their linked minds, Jacob saw him leap forward and quickly speed up. His huge paws dug into the ground, sending leafs and earth flying everywhere, while he was forced to look at the younger wolfs graphic memories.

Jacob grinned menacingly. Was he being an ass for shoving the pictures into Sam's face? Damn right, he was. Knowing that making Sam see what he couldn't have anymore, satisfied him in a cruel way. He remembered Leah's pleas for release and how she had begged for more, that he gave it to her harder and faster. It felt good to be on the receiving end of the stick for once in his life. Jacob didn't know that he had it in him to hurt Sam like this, like really deliberately. Jake was much too hurt himself to care at all. He was itching for a fight. Even better when he could fight it out with another wolf or – suddenly it was downright tempting – letting his rage out on Sam.

Sam was close. They would meet any second now. "Okay, go ahead and have a piece of me," Jake thought challenging. A huge, black shadow shot out of the thicket and before Jacob could turn around to meet him at a better angle, their massive bodies collided. It would be a fight both of them needed, had sought out and initiated. Both tempers were sky-rocketing and it was not only loud but painfully as well.

"You're so damned cocky, boy, "Sam growled, and snapped his teeth. "Barely threeyears older than her baby brother. You should be grateful that she even let you." It was pure jealousy speaking out of Sam and they both knew it.

"She started it. She begged me to do her." Jacob gave him a smug grin, before pushing his muzzle hard into Sam's flank. "Leah thinks I'm a good fuck. She wanted me. You listen? Me not you!" Again, he let his memories show. This time it was Leah on all fours before him and how she had tried to stay in control and he wouldn't let her.

Jacob's thoughts had always been vivid, but they had never focused on Leah before. Sam snarled, not liking to see his Leah like that, and crouched low, ready to take Jacob down.

Jacob couldn't explain why he felt so territorial over Leah, but when Sam thought about Leah as "his", he howled furiously. "She's not yours anymore." He jumped, trying to bury his teeth in Sam's shoulder, but was shaken off quickly. He fell back on his feet and moved in a slow circle around Sam with his teeth bared and the fur in his neck bristled. "You gave her up, Sam. You tossed her aside for your imprint! She doesn't belong to you!"

Sam watched his every move, trying to calculate Jacob's intentions. He was furious, affected by Jake's rage and the memories the younger wolf deliberately made him see. As much as he tried to keep a cool head, tried to not let this fight go too far it was useless. Although being the most level-headed wolf of this pack, even Sam could only take so much, and he had reached his limit.

Sam growled warningly, but Jacob wouldn't stop thinking about Leah in several states of arousal and sexual bliss. Sam aimed to launch himself at Jacob at the next possible chance, but he had to be careful. It was very dangerous to underestimate Jacob. The younger wolf came close his strength and size. He was the only one in the pack who had the potential to overpower him. After all, Jacob was the true Alpha, even when he hadn't accepted this position yet. If Sam wanted to defeat him, it was only through acting clever and maybe even deviously. That's why he thought snidely, "She's always had a big heart, Jake. You've been wailing like a baby over your leech lover. Leah was only being nice, you know?"

"And I took what she offered," Jacob answered, but Sam really shouldn't have mentioned Bella. It made Jacob even angrier as he already was. He felt heat building up in the bottom of his stomach. It was rising and rising, and he then felt as if his body was growing. There was this tiny voice in his brain telling him over and over again that he was the true Alpha. Alpha! Alpha! Alpha! it chanted. At first he shook it off. This couldn't be. Hell, he didn't want to deal with this shit right now, but the heat in his stomach had reached his chest, and Jacob wanted to roar out his fury.

He felt like his head was going to explode. Suddenly, everything became so clear to him. Sam was scared. Sam knew the truth. He was fully aware of what he had done to Leah, when he had left her for Emily.

Jacob growled. He knows I am the true Alpha, he thought. It's in my blood. He never felt bigger or stronger than in this very moment. He looked straight into Sam's eyes, seeing his fear, but Sam didn't give in.

Sam tilted his head and snarled. "You only wanted Leah, because Bella wouldn't give you any. She prefers to fuck the leech." Sam showed him a memory of Edward's smug face.

With that Jacob lost it. He felt this incredible strength come over him, this incredible power. It almost brought him down to his knees… almost. Within a split second, he jumped at Sam, ripping into him with a fervor he didn't know he had.

Sam howled as Jacob bit him in his leg and didn't let go.

"Damn fucker, what the hell do you want from me," Jake thought with ever rising hatred. I could just kill him now.

"You touched Lee Lee, and nobody is touching her." Sam spat.

Jacob jumped on top of Sam, pinning him down to the ground with his huge body and sank his teeth into his shoulder. The pain took Sam's breath away. He couldn't believe what was happening, couldn't believe that Jacob was actually strong enough to keep him down. He grunted in pain while trying to fight the younger wolf off.

"What are you talking about? She's free to fuck whomever she wants to fuck, and she wanted to fuck me! And guess what, I enjoyed her. Leah knows how to please a man!" Jacob responded. He took a deep breath, growling warningly and never letting his eyes or paws off Sam. He knew he needed to stop, but it was hard to ignore the call of the Alpha in him. It wanted him to fight it out, wanted him to claim the Alpha position.

He took a deep deliberate breath, and another one, and one more to calm himself down. Slowly, he got off Sam, watching the other try to get up. But then… Sam just stopped struggling and stayed on the ground, hiding his snout under his paws. What? What was he doing?

Jacob lost all interest to rip into Sam again, although his wolf urged him to prove that he was the stronger one, urged him to challenge Sam. He fought it down… for now.

Jacob looked at him and thought "What is wrong with you Sam? You have no rights to her, you don't deserve her and you know it. You broke Leah." Jacob growled. He was trying to push the 'Alpha' need aside; he did not want to deal with this right now. He needed time to think, he needed time to grieve for what he had lost, and he just wanted to be left alone for once in his life. Jacob also knew he wasn't ready to take on the responsibility. He had to clear a lot of things in his life first before he would be able to lead a pack.

That's when he noticed that Sam thought of happy times with Leah, times when he wasn't imprinted on Emily yet. He thought it wasn't fair that a stable and strong relationship had been ripped apart. Maybe the wolf Gods had got something wrong? Wasn't he meant to imprint on Leah instead of Emily?

Jacob phased human. He felt pity for Sam, and one thing he was fucking sure of: he hated imprinting. He hoped he never had to deal with that. He didn't want to be in Sam's head any longer or listening to his self-pitying. Jacob didn't think he owed him any explanations at all, but he started talking nevertheless. "Sam, I lost her," he said hoarsely and sat down on a tree stump. "Bella is gone for good. I need time, and I don't even know how to deal with this yet, if I ever can. I'm not sure how to go on."

Sam huffed and phased back as well. He looked at Jacob with what seemed some kind of compassion. Or was it pity?

Jacob couldn't tell, nor did he care. He didn't think Sam even knew how to be really compassionate. He always wore that straight face, that mask. Did Sam understand what I was talking about? Jacob wondered. "I just lost it. Leah saved my miserable life, Sam," he admitted. "Without Leah I maybe wouldn't have survived this evening. What can I tell you? Leah understands the kind of pain I am going through all too well."

Sam flinched, but remained silent. He limped past Jacob and took a seat opposite him.

"Damn you, Sam! She is still suffering; she is still in so much pain. You did that!" Jacob started trembling and the anger returned. He was surprised with himself. When did he develop feelings for Leah? Did he? "I will do what I can to make her forget you, and you will not be in the way of that. Do you understand?" he spat at Sam.

Sam just looked very old all of a sudden. More so, he looked defeated and very tired. "Jake, I only have to say one thing to you: Don't hurt her! Don't use her! If you do, I will kill you!" With that Sam got up and walked slowly, with his head hanging low, out of the forest. Both knew very well this would never be possible. Sam knew his time as Alpha was borrowed. More so, he knew Jacob already was the Alpha, his Alpha, whether Jacob admitted that to himself yet or not.

Jacob stayed in the forest for a long time, pondering over all the things that had happened today. He walked home when the night fell. Again, he absolved his home duties in silence. Billy kept looking at him with a worried expression, but thankfully he would not say anything.

After another night of getting no sleep, Jacob came to a decision. It's time to make a change in his life. He grabbed the phone and dialed Leah's number...

.

.

Two years pass…

.

The first time when Jacob heard that Bella wouldn't be coming home it was Christmas time. He barely reacted when Charlie told Billy. Jacob didn't feel a thing but a strange numbness around his heart. He had known all along this call would be coming eventually, but he was sort of relieved when Charlie said how good it was to hear his daughter's voice again. Charlie was sad when he told Billy he would wish Bella called him more often and how much he missed her.

Jacob hated what Bella did to her father. He had to take off into the forest after overhearing his father's conversation with Charlie. He couldn't deal with Charlie's pain. He burst into his furry self before even hitting the tree line.

So she had made it through the transformation without getting killed. She was living, but not alive anymore… Bella was a vampire now. His enemy. The thing he was born to kill. Jacob couldn't wrap his head around it.

Spring break came. Then came the summer holidays and another Christmas time. She still wasn't coming home. Jacob knew why. As a newborn she better stay away from humans. When Charlie told him he would spent another holidays without his daughter, Jacob could take it with a shrug and walk out on Charlie straight-faced. Again, he ran until he couldn't feel his paws anymore.

It was February again when Charlie called and told Billy that Bella had moved to Jacksonville. Jacob stood in the kitchen, not wanting to overhear the conversation, but Charlie actually screamed out the news. It wasn't to overhear. "I can't believe it, Billy! Bella broke up with him. She's divorced. For over a year already!"

Jacob dropped what he had been holding and stormed out of the house, leaving a stunned Billy behind. Bella was divorced. She had moved to Jacksonville.

Divorced. Jacksonville. Sun. Jacksonville. Sun. Lot of sun. No vampire moves where there is sun. She didn't tell me. She didn't tell me. Why didn't she tell me?

He didn't remember neither where he went nor what he did. He only remembered the overwhelming rage inside of him.

When he came down from his distractive tantrum, he was naked and looked at his mashed-up garage. A disaster zone.

Leah was with him. She had her arms wrapped around him, holding him. Forcing him to stop razing his garage to the ground.

He had her on the hood of his rabbit in no time, pushing her shorts down and her shirt up. "Can I, Leah? Please, let me…" he sobbed, and when she nodded in agreement, he pushed into her forcefully, bracing his hands on either side of her head…

She didn't complain nor did she try to stop him, but when it was over, she laid her hand on his cheek, whispering, "I really wish you'd stop obsessing over her."

"Leah, just leave it alone already!" With that Jacob turned around and left, leaving her standing in the mess he had made out of his garage. They didn't talk for weeks.

Jacob thought about getting Bella's phone number. He was sure her dad wouldn't hesitate handing it over to him. But then he thought how ridiculous it was for even thinking about making contact with her. Why should he contact her at first when she hadn't even bothered to tell him she got divorced? Wasn't he good enough to know?

Jacob thought about confronting her. What if he just ran down to Jacksonville? It wouldn't take him too long if he travelled in his wolf form… How would it feel to tell her how much she had hurt him, how much he was still hurting?

One day, Charlie gave him her number. He just placed a piece of paper with her name and the number scribbled on it in his hand. "Just call her. I think she misses you…" he had said. Jacob just looked at him and walked away, feeling confused as to what he should do.

Jacob hid the note in his sock drawer.

Once in a while he thought about giving her a call. Maybe they could talk things out? But then, something happened that would change his life forever.