Hey everyone. I know it's been a long time since my last update but don't worry,I am back.
So here's an extra long chapter. Get yourselves ready for an emotional rollercoaster!
Enjoy and review!
Yep,I own nothing blah blah!
"Now I ain't much of a poet
but I know somebody once told me to seize the moment
and don't squander it
cause you never know when it could all be over" Eminem~Monster
They were curled up in the bedsheets both fully awake,but neither of them tried to move.
"Last night was..."Olivia trailed off.
"Yeah. It was amazing...
I felt something different last night,a special connection..." he was cut off by her lips on his mouth.
They broke apart locking eyes.
"You made me feel loved and wanted like nobody else in the past.
It was definitely amazing"she smiled genuinely at him,her eyes shining with tears.
He cupped her cheeks with his palms and gently placed a kiss on her lips.
She responded immediately by returning the kiss and asking for entrance in his mouth.
Their make-out session was interrupted by Nick's phone ringing.
"Good morning, Zara!"he said cheerfully after checking the caller ID.
"How are you?...Yep. You did?That's great...Of course I am going to work...I'll give Olivia a lot of kisses from you,princess"he eyed his partner smiling at her.
"Ok,sweetheart. Have a nice day.
See you on Saturday morning... I love you,too. Bye"he hung up and sighted happily.
"How is she?"Olivia asked him.
"Happy and cheerful as always. She made me a paint and will give it to me on Saturday. She's really excited about it...Oh and before I forget I owe you some kisses on her behalf"he said playfully and started attacking her neck with soft peks.
She giggled and tried to get off his grip,but his arms were wrapped securely on her waist.
She gave up fighting and surrendered to his sensational movements.
That how their day began and they couldn't be more grateful for each other's company.
They knew this could work out.
They would do anything to keep their relationship strong no matter the obstacles they faced.
Because they would surely face lots of them.
"Good morning, Sergeant!"Fin said smirking at his coworker.
"Morning!"she said smiling brightly at him.
Nick followed right behind her and after they settled to their perspective desks Amanda entered the squad room.
Cragen got out of his office and addressed to his detectives.
"We got a vic in Bellevue hospital,she's unconscious. The nurse called it in for possible sexual assault.
Amaro,Benson go. Fin,Rollins stay here and wait for a heads up." he said getting back to his office.
"I am driving" Olivia said grabbing the Sedan's keys before Nick had the chance.
"Lucky me!"he retorted smirking at her.
Once in the hospital,Olivia and Nick were shown their way to the victim's room and faced a rather shocking picture: a young girl,she couldn't be more than 18,was severely beaten and was lying on the hospital bed,her eyes shut,but her shoulders were shaking up and down,silent tears making their way to her cheeks.
Well,they had been doing this job for a while but it still hurt every time another victim appeared on their way.
He let Olivia step forward and she spoke softly to the girl,making sure she wouldn't startle her.
"Hi. I am Olivia. You wanna tell me your name?"
She opened her eyes trying to look at the Detective,but her vision was blurred.
Olivia reached out to the night table and handed her some tissues.
"Thanks"she mumbled softly.
"I'm Elisabeth" she went on while wiping her tears away.
She chocked on her tears and suspiciously eyed Nick.
Olivia sensed her unease.
"Elisabeth,we're Detectives from Special Victims Unit. This is my partner,Nick"she said and motioned to him.
"Is it ok to ask you some questions?"she asked cautiously.
Elisabeth nobbed slightly,the two partners shared a knowing look and proceeded to the interview.
"Sergeant have to act fast"the commissioner made her snap into reality.
She thought a little bit about her next move.
Captain had left unannounced yesterday noon heading to a meeting with 1PP and had left her on charge.
This wouldn't be a problem if the circumstances were different.
But now here she was trying to find a way out of this mess.
She inspected the multiple vehicles and police cars that were parked hastily around the house in New Jersey. Two SWAT teams were ready to bust in with her signal.
But she would try a more harmless way first.
When she spoke her voice was raspy:"Get him on the phone" she ordered.
"We don't have a negotiator,Sergeant"the man retorted.
"I am perfectly capable to handle the situation,I don't need a negotiator"she said raising her voice.
He did as he was ordered and handed her the phone. After a few rings the line went dead.
"He cut the house line.
Contact me to the Detective's cell number"she said.
After the second ring someone answered the phone.
"Hello?"Olivia said unsure.
There was no answer just the heavy breathing of their suspect-she thought.
Then without any warning,the echoing sound inserted her ears.
"Shots were fired!Shots fired!"she heard faintly around her and somehow managed to give the SWAT team the green light to bust in.
She remained at the same spot for what seemed like an eternity.
A couple of moments after,the paramedics rushed out and wheeled him to a stretcher.
As soon as she saw him she rushed by his side.
"NICK!"she shouted. She was fully aware of her surroundings and knew she sounded desperate,but right now she didn't care at all.
"Vitals are low. His pulse is week"the one paramedic said.
"Put the sirens on. We're heading straight to Mercy" the other one ordered.
Olivia looked back at the house,contemplating whether to go with Nick. He needed her there. God,she needed to be by his side.
"Liv,we got this,just go"Amanda put a hand on her shoulder,a reassuring smile on her face.
"Liv,we're good here. Nick needs you"Fin supported Amanda.
She nobbed slightly.
"Thank you"she mouthed and jogged to the ambulance.
"Ma'am,are you a relative?"
A paramedic blocked her way.
"He's my..."she contemplated telling the truth but instead she choose to say:"He's my partner.
I wanna ride with him to the hospital"she pleaded.
She must have looked really desperate,because the paramedic gave her a smile and helped her climb to the ambulance's back.
Beep Beep Beep.
The continuous sound emitting from the machine hooked on him couldn't be a good sign.
"He's coding. Help me out"the paramedic said while hooking him to more wires.
His whole body hurt. No,hurt wasn't the right word. He felt nothing. He was numb. A wave of electricity run all over him. Then,again.
He tried to open his eyes. His eyelids were heavy. He made another effort. This time his eyes obeyed,but he couldn't really see anything. His vision was blurred.
As he tried to make out the forms in front of him,a familiar figure appeared in his view.
"Olivia?"he tried to call her out,but it came out as a whimper.
She reached for his hand.
She said something but he couldn't make out what.
He focused his attention to the sound of the sirens echoing in his mind. His eyes closed again as he slipped in and out of consciousness.
She had been seating on this uncomfortable metallic chair for a while.
Millions of thoughts on her mind.
How they had ended up like that?
She surely hadn't seen that coming. The case seemed nothing out of the ordinary, but in a matter of no time it had taken a different road.
Elisabeth Worther had pressed charges against her assailant. She had picked him from the line without any hesitation and the evidence was enough for the case to be proceeded. A last minute mistake was enough to cause a collateral damage. He had somehow managed to escape custody and went after Elisabeth.
By that time she was cleared by the hospital and Nick had offered to get her home, since her parents lived in Montreal and she had no one to take care of her.
Olivia should have gone with Nick to New Jersey,but being in charge of the precinct didn't give her many options,but to stay in the 1-6.
She wasn't sure what had happened but apparently he had disarmed Nick and threatened to kill Elisabeth.
The haunting sound of the gun firing was still in her mind, taunting her.
She haven't heard a word about his condition. Did he even make it to the ICU?He had coded three times in the way here. She didn't know what to think or what to expect at this point.
She couldn't lose him. Not now that everything in her life seemed ok. She had started on a clean slate leaving the past behind. It wasn't easy. She had spent almost two years with Brian on her side. They had taken the next step by getting an apartment together. They loved each other.
Her ordeal with Lewis had left her scars,physical and mental ones.
He had taken everything she had. Her dignity,her sleep,her ability to trust herself. And like these weren't enough,he had killed Brian.
Nick was the one who had dragged her both literally and metaphorically out of her misery. He was the one who had led her out of that haunting beach house. She could still remember his soft voice ringing to her ears.
Last May:
"Liv,it's me,Nick. Can you open up?"
Moments passed into silence.
He heard Olivia unlocking the bathroom door and slowly making her way out.
He unsuccessfully tried to suppress a gasp.
She was beaten. Her clothing ripped off. She had blood on her hands and face.
But what really made him want to kill this bastard was the look in her eyes.
He had never seen her beautiful brown eyes like that. Her usually full of passion,joy and determination eyes were now full of pain,hurt even fear.
He approached her tentatively.
"Hey. Liv I am so sorry that we weren't here earlier. You're safe now"he whispered softly.
She looked at him relieved that it was over. She didn't care about anything right now. She just wanted to get out of this place.
He put a blanket on her shoulders and she flinched.
He felt his heart reach the floor.
"I am sorry"she mumbled.
"Liv,it's ok. You don't need to apologize"
She took the blanket thankfully and she surprised him by pulling him in her embrace.
He wrapped his arms securely around her waist and felt her whole body shaking.
She was crying. God,he had really screwed up. He was a shitty partner for not having her back,but yet here she was trusting him in a weak moment.
"Shh. It's ok,no one can hurt you now"he kept saying while rocking them slightly.
After a while she pulled away,looking in his eyes.
"Just get me out of here"she whispered.
He guided her out of the house,gently putting his arm around her shoulder as if trying to protect her from the world.
"Olivia?... Olivia?"she heard someone calling her out.
She snapped out of her reverie and looked at the person calling her name.
She immediately frowned at the sight in front of her.
"Tucker,what are you doing here?It is definitely not the right time to answer to any form of questions"she said harshly.
Only then did she realise that tears were streaming on her face,her make-up and mascara making paths down her cheeks. She wipped them angrily with the back of her hand and looked away from him. She wouldn't break in front of him,not again.
"I am not here for IAB"he said simply.
"Is it ok to sit here?"he went on motioning to the chair beside Olivia.
"Yeah. I guess,it's ok"she mumbled.
"I'm here for Nick. How is he doing?"he asked gently.
"I haven't heard anything. It's been three hours since he was admitted"she hated how broken she sounded, but she couldn't contain her anxiety and angst.
"He's tough,you know. He will make it"he said reassuringly squeezing her shoulder.
She was taken aback by his friendly behavior.
Sure they had shared a moment a while back but Tucker wasn't the type of the person that he would offer comfort to someone,let alone her.
Her thoughts were to interrupted by his voice.
"How are you holding up?"he asked,a genuine concern in his voice.
"I am scared. I blame myself for not being there. I was supposed to be with him..."she trailed off, surprising even herself for opening up like that to him.
"You have feelings for each other,don't you?"he asked again.
The question caught her of guard as she looked surprised at him.
"What the hell is this suppose to mean,Tucker?"she said raising slightly her voice.
"Relax,Olivia. I am not here as a Lieutenant. I am not judging you!"he tried to calm her down.
"Yes,I do have feelings for him,but that is none of your business"she spatted.
"It's good to know that you moved on"he said smiling at her.
"Just keep it low so that I don't have to bust your asses"he laughed lightly looking in her eyes.
She smiled back at him.
"Why?"she inquired.
He looked at her being aware of what she was asking. He sighted deeply before he answered.
"Because I screwed up,Olivia. Big time. I have messed up with almost every single Detective in your squad room. And I couldn't be more wrong about them. Especially about you. I am truly sorry for making your life hell all these years. It took me 15 years to understand that you're still here because you care,because you wanna do the right thing risking everything,your career,your life even,just to get justice. I realised that we're on the same side here.
I reallyappreciate you. You of all people in the world deserve a happy ending and if me pretending that I have no clue about your relationship with Amaro makes you happy,I'll run for it without any hesitation"he said locking eyes with her.
Her eyes were shining because of the tears she was trying to keep at bay.
"Thank you"she whispered softly,reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently.
"Just remember what I told you back then: you are strong enough to get through everything. You keep fighting and at the end you will be able to live,live for yourself,Olivia"he said while getting up and heading to the exit.
"Call me if there's any news"he said making his way to the elevator at the end of the corridor.
She saw him disappearing from her vision and her mind went back in January.
Last January:
"Detective Benson you need a minute?"he asked her during her interview noticing her heavy breathing and her hands shaking visibly.
It's been two days after Lewis' mistrial and they now had two bodies in the morgue: his and Cassidy's.
He was following standard IAB's protocol, interviewing the witnesses,which in this occasion was Benson,but he had a hard time focusing on his job.
"No. I am fine. Let's get this over with"she answered failing to sound determined and composed.
Tucker asked her a couple of questions,not wanting to bother her anymore and switched off the recording.
She immediately stood up heading for the door.
He reached up to the handle preventing her to pull it down.
"Olivia,I know that you have every right to hate me,but trust me on this. You're strong,you'll get through this. I cannot imagine how you feel but I know that you will make it"he said placing a hand on her shoulder.
"Yeah,I guess you're right" she said her lips curving in a light smile.
She got out of the "box" and blindly went to the lady's room.
She locked herself in a cabin and slowly sliding to the floor,breaking into sobs.
She didn't even register the door opening and footsteps making their way to her.
Someone slid his back at the other side of the door.
Olivia stopped crying and tried to form some kind of words.
"What do you want?" she said harshly.
"17 years ago,she had a car accident,didn't even make it to the hospital...I was in the passenger's seat,she was driving. The car hit her side making her head crash to the steering wheel. She bled out in the ambulance and I was by her side watching helplessly as she was fading away...
I loved her...I really did and after the autopsy had been finished they informed me that she had been pregnant.3 months.
I could have had everything a man could ask for,a woman I loved and a child,but it was taken from me in an instance...
I know it's hard but you're strong and passionate. You will make it,hell I managed to get through this and I am coward,you will thrive Olivia. I know it,just give it some time..."he trailed off letting the room in silence.
She opened the cabin's door and he got up,facing her with wet eyes.
She pulled him in her embrace and quietly sobbed in his arms.
She believed him. She knew he hurt deep inside. She appreciated that he had trusted her.
"You're a good man,Tucker. I couldn't think I would ever say that but you're a good guy"she chuckled and he mimicked her.
They pulled away facing each other.
"Just don't say anyone because I have worked hard to build this façade" he said smiling.
"Your secret's safe with me.
I know too well about façades" she retorted bitterly.
She headed to the sink trying to fix her make-up while he made a beeline for the door.
"See you around,Detective" he said smiling at her.
"See you around,Lieutenant"she said back knowing that their moment was finished and they had gone back to their professional mode. But this was enough to make her appreciate the man she loathed for so many years.
She must have fallen asleep because she felt someone nudging her.
She shot her eyes open to be greeted by her Captain's figure.
Her eyes adjusted to the bright light and she saw Fin and Amanda standing in front of her.
"Hey,what happened?"she asked groggily.
"Are you ok,Liv?"Fin asked,his voice laced with concern.
"Yeah.I'm fine. What time is it?"she replied searching for her cell phone in her pockets.
"It's 6 pm"Cragen answered her question.
She signed frustrated.
"Damn it.I've been out for an hour. What if the Doctor came and wouldn't be able to tell me about Nick?"her voice was swaying as her tears threatened to spill.
"Liv,It's ok. We asked the nurse and he's still in surgery. They don't know anything yet"Amanda tried to calm her down.
"Fin and Rollins filled me in about the incident. The suspect is on lock down,Elisabeth is a little shocked but she's not hurt at all"Cragen informed her.
"Ok. That's good. At least she's safe now"she realised a breath she wasn't aware she was holding.
"Also,IAB wants your official statement...as soon as you're ready" he went on.
"You got to be kidding me. My partner is in surgery for God knows how many hours and they want my fucking statement?" she raised her voice dangerously and glared back at her Captain.
She breathed deeply and went on in a calmer tone:"I am not going anywhere until I make sure he's ok"she stated.
He admired her dedication to her partner and said nothing more.
Yes,he knew. He was actually the first one who had seen the signs before even the two of them had realised they were in love.
It was so evident to him.
But he waited to make sure that they were doing their jobs without their personal stuff getting in the middle of their professionalism.
And he was right. They were perfect as partners in work and in life.
He was proud of them in deed.
The woman he felt as a daughter was finally happy after all her angst. She had a man by her side,which he knew that he would take care of her no matter what.
He was aware of the fact that Internal Affairs wouldn't be pleased but he would have to worry about it later.
He was now worried about Nick.
They all were but they tried to hid it for Olivia's sake.
The last time in a hospital's waiting room had been a nightmare for her.
She knew it was futile but she kept waiting until the Doctor had come to announce Brian's death.
Now the circumstances were different or at least she hoped so.
She stood up and mumbled something about going to find the Doctor.
As if on cue the Doc. appeared in the hallway of the hospital and headed to the team.
His face didn't give up anything.
Well,he was trained for that after all.
As he approached them they prayed everything would be ok.
She prayed that she hadn't lost another person she loved.
"Family for Nicholas Amaro?"
Cliffhanger! Yeah,I know cliffhangers can be a pain in the ass but right now you have to bear with me! Please let me know what you think,especially about the "Tucker" scene.
I bet you all hate Tucker in the show so I wanted to make him look like a good guy just for a change!
Thanks for the reviews,follows and favorites,I reaaaaally appreciate your support.
Be back soon. ~xxx