A/N: Warning, this chapter may be quite upsetting. Anna does suffer a miscarriage. The scene is not too graphic, but it is definitely a sad chapter. My idea for this story came out of a discussion with a friend of what drama/storyline could Anna and John face in series 4. We discussed some unlikely series 4 scenarios that will hopefully never come to fruition (such as an horrible illness, infidelity, John relapses with alcohol, death). And I considered Anna could be barren, but Mary/Matthew just went through something like that in series 3 and barren means there could never be a baby. Hopefully, Julian Fellowes does nothing of the sort and there are lots of Baby Bates's.
While the miscarriage itself is quite heartbreaking, I thought it would be interesting to see a role-reversal between Anna and John. I wanted to explore a situation where Anna finally lost all hope and John had to comfort her. So this is the chapter that was the inspiration for the story. The first few chapters were mainly just a bit of fun to show their life together in the cottage, but I wanted to share them with you. I also had a bit of fun with the beginning of this chapter, as you will hopefully see by a character's joke. The next few chapters will be sad, but I promise the epilogue will be quite happy. Also, unfortunately, school is demanding more of my attention than I would prefer. I will try to update the story as much as I can, but it probably won't be until my spring break later this month. The updates will probably not be published exclusively on Sundays, but instead, when I finish the chapters. Thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing.
Chapter 6
Earlier the same day
Anna ate lunch silently amidst the clatter of the servants' hall. Her thoughts traveled to her husband in their cottage as she glanced at his vacant seat. She pondered ways to reward him for his long day of housecleaning. But suddenly, her jaw clenched tightly as another spasm ran through her abdomen. The day had truly cycled through some ups and downs. She awoke so fresh and relaxed, but the episode earlier had put a damper on her morning. Anna felt recovered around the time John departed, but now she had taken another turn. She took a deep breath as she tried to engage in the conversations around her.
Across the table, Alfred was talking excitedly about the cinema with Jimmy and Thomas. Anna had been to the pictures only a handful of times, but the tall footman was quite an aficionado and kept up to date with all of the film releases.
"It's called Moriarty. I always read Sherlock Holmes as a lad and would love to see it," Alfred explained, smiling ear to ear.
"I never cared much for that trite series. A bit overrated if you ask me," Jimmy sneered. The two footmen had become closer over the last year and a half, but they still enjoyed one upping each other. Anna figured young male coworkers would always have a bit of competition between each other. She noticed the pain had abated but her stomach still felt bloated. She tried her best to distract herself with the footmen's interactions, but her thoughts were stuck on herself.
Alfred replied unfazed, "Ahhh, but the suspense and the ways he put the pieces together. Growing up, I was convinced I was going to be a detective."
"I wouldn't trust you as a detective. You would send an innocent man swinging from the gallows," Jimmy slipped. Mr. Carson coughed on his stew as Jimmy mentioned gallows. Jimmy clearly did not realize the implication of what he said until it was too late.
Anna did not fully register the words until she noticed everyone around the room collectively holding their breath and staring at her. The younger staff never broached the subject of John's imprisonment, avoiding the topic like the plague. Anna was not offended by Jimmy's comment because it was not directed towards her or Mr. Bates. Jimmy was not at the house during the trial and did not fully understand the gravity of his words. But she noticed those around her were gauging her reaction and her long face gave the indication that she was upset.
In order to break up the tension, Anna forced a smile and said, "Alfred, if you need any pointers with investigating, I can give you a few."
Thomas took this opportunity to help lighten the mood and said, "Anna Bates Investigates." Most of the room chuckled at the play on words; Anna herself was one of the loudest. The comments by Anna and the under-butler did enough to defuse the situation and soon the staff were back to chatting on a different subject.
Anna spent most of the mid-afternoon mending the cuff on one of Lady Mary's blouses in the servants' hall. Currently, she was alone because Miss O'Brien and Thomas had just left for a cigarette. Anna was finding it difficult to keep her hand steady. The aches were coming more often now, but it was never severe, more of an inconvenience. Anna dropped the sewing needle on the table and placed her hand on her front. If she was not feeling better tomorrow, she would go see Dr. Clarkson for some medicine for her upset stomach. Anna tried to remain positive, but fears kept nagging the back of her mind. She continued her efforts on the blouse, but did not notice a bell ringing on the wall or the return of Miss O'Brien.
"Anna" Miss O'Brien called, but Anna was stuck in her thoughts.
"Lady Mary's ringing," barked Miss O'Brien. "Anna, you're needed upstairs."
Anna snapped back to reality and stood up with the blouse. "Right, thanks," she said quietly as the older Lady's maid scowled at her. Anna scurried up the stairs.
Anna briefly paused outside of Lady Mary's room as she cleared her mind. Years of servitude had taught her how to bury her own troubles and focus on her mistress.
Anna gently knocked and opened the door. Since Mr. Crawley's death, Lady Mary had moved back into her old bedroom. The Lady's maid could fully understand why the change was made. Mary turned towards Anna as she entered the room. Anna observed a considerable amount of spittle and milk down the front of the Ladyship's dress. Additionally, Mary's usually neat bun was quite disheveled in several places. And while most would scoff at Mary's appearance, Anna admired the way her Ladyship cared so lovingly for her son.
"Anna, I tried to salvage the outfit, but it was no use," Mary explained. Rather than being ashamed of her appearance, Mary held her head high. She placed her delicate fingers towards her hair and noticed the drooping locks. "And Reggie has become quite fascinated with my hair and earrings." Anna noticed that the gold pendants had disappeared from her ears.
Anna smiled at Mary. "I can fix you right up. It's a bit early to change for dinner, would you want to wear a tea gown until then?"
"That should be fine," Mary responded. Anna placed the mended blouse in the closet and selected a simple gown. Mary nodded at the choice. As Anna undressed her Ladyship, she was careful to prevent the stain from touching anything else. She would have to launder the article of clothing immediately. She replaced the discarded article with a fresh outfit. But even with such a routine task, Anna felt a bit unsteady on her feet and hoped that would soon pass.
Mary sat at her vanity and Anna worked at fixing her hair. Mary was hardly paying attention as her maid ran the brush through her hair. Just as her locks were pinned back, Mary looked in the mirror and noticed Anna's coloring was quite off. Just as she was about to ask Anna if she was well, she noticed Anna's eyes roll to the top of her head as she fainted. Mary immediately went to the floor to help her maid.
"John, John," Anna continuously mumbled in her half aware state. Mary supported her head as Anna slipped in and out of consciousness.
"It'll be alright, I'll find Mr. Bates," Mary responded, trying to comfort her.
Anna's eyes opened slowly and she instinctively placed her hand on her stomach. "The baby," Anna said weakly.
At the mention of a baby, Mary's eyes traveled down Anna's body and her heart skipped a beat when she noticed a bit of blood pooling beneath her maid. She recognized the severity of the situation and realized she would need to get help.
"Anna, I'll be right back. Don't move," Mary commanded. She did not want Anna trying to get up and fall again. But judging by the condition she was in, Mary doubted that was a concern.
As Mary went out into the hall, she came across Tom nearly immediately.
"Tom, come quick," Mary beckoned and Tom followed her into the bedroom. Tom's eyes instantly fell on Anna, still lying on the floor.
"What happened?" He asked.
"She fainted. I need help getting her to bed," Mary explained.
Tom nodded and began to walk towards her, but Mary grabbed his arm.
"She is with child," Mary explained, wanting to stay in the present tense.
Tom suddenly became aware of the blood as Mary removed her grasp. Carefully, he crouched down and lifted Anna up. Mary made to assist him, but he simply shook his head as he cradled her petite body.
"How far along is she?" Tom asked as he walked towards the door. He assumed she would be placed in a spare bedroom.
"Wait," Mary stopped him, "Place her in my bed."
Tom followed her command and walked towards the grand bed.
Mary spoke up, "I don't know how far along she is, I only just found out. I don't even know if Bates knows." Mary was slightly shaken by the prospect of informing Bates about his wife's condition.
Mary pulled back her comforter as Tom gingerly placed Anna on the sheets. Anna's eyes were half opened as she remained semi-conscious.
Mary regained command of the situation, "You must go tell Mrs. Hughes that Anna has fallen ill and to telephone Dr. Clarkson."
"I'll pick him up myself," Tom offered.
"Alright. And have Mrs. Hughes send Bates up. Don't mention anything about the baby to anyone. Bates deserves to find out first," Mary explained. She did not want the whole household to know about Anna before the valet heard. That information would be hard enough to handle without hearing it second-hand.
Mrs. Hughes took the lead up the stairs. John willed his legs to move faster but it felt like he would never cover the distance from the servants' hall to Lady Mary's bedroom. He longed to see Anna and know that she was alright. They could take on anything if they were together. He was slightly unnerved that Mrs. Hughes was not allowed to see Anna. He felt a sense of foreboding as he followed behind the housekeeper.
Mrs. Hughes knocked gently on Lady Mary's door as John stood impatiently behind her.
"It's Mrs. Hughes. I have Mr. Bates with me," the housekeeper announced their presence. She came up earlier alone but was denied entrance.
After a moment, the door opened and Dr. Clarkson stepped out. He immediately closed the door behind him. John barely caught a glimpse of a body, clearly Anna's, in bed, but she was hidden behind Lady Mary's slim frame.
"Is she…" John could not think of the words to properly formulate the question.
"Mrs. Bates should make a full recovery," Dr. Clarkson declared before pausing.
John's mind eased slightly but the look on the doctor's face he was not quite finished and that he was about to deliver some bad news. John's throat tightened as he waited for the rest. Every second seemed like an eternity as the uncertainty weighed heavily in his chest.
Dr. Clarkson continued, "But the child has been lost."
He heard a sharp gasp from Mrs. Hughes. John lost any relief for Anna that he felt only a moment ago. Their child was gone before they even had a chance to meet him. But as the anguish of the loss overwhelmed his heart, all John could think about was Anna. Even if she would physically recover from the ordeal, she would be utterly heartbroken.
"May I see my wife?" John tried to ask as calmly as possible but his eyes began to water.
Dr. Clarkson sadly shook his head, "Not yet, the ordeal is not quite over."
John did not understand; He clearly needed to be with his wife at this moment. And then John heard a muttered yell through the door. Immediately he knew the sound had emanated from Anna's lips and it brought him back to the most dark and hopeless moment of his life. The sound distinctly resembled the anguishing shriek Anna made at his guilty verdict, it was a pain-riddled cry that had haunted his nightmares for months afterwards. He feared for Anna's state again, this time he worried about the physical pain she may be experiencing, as well as the emotional toll.
"Is she in labor?" John asked tentatively.
"Not in the traditional sense. But, essentially, yes. At this stage of the pregnancy, since she is beyond four months, it would be closer to a stillbirth than a full-term delivery." Dr. Clarkson explained. Another muffled cry escaped Lady Mary's room. "She is experiencing some labor pain."
John felt as if he was going to be sick. Anna had to experience the pains of childbirth and would be rewarded with nothing but heartbreak for her efforts.
"I would like to see my wife," John asserted.
"I don't recommend that. From my experience, it would be best if you were not there," Dr. Clarkson advised.
"I need to be with her," John pleaded with the doctor. John would face whatever was behind that door if it meant being there for Anna. But John noticed Dr. Clarkson exchanged a look with Mrs. Hughes.
"Mr. Bates, perhaps we should go downstairs," Mrs. Hughes offered, finally breaking her silence.
John was not a child. He had seen enough horrible things in his life, between war and prison, and would be able to handle this. But before John could further his cause, the nurse opened the door.
"Dr. Clarkson, it's time, we need you," the nurse frantically exclaimed.
Dr. Clarkson ducked back inside the room and closed the door behind him. John would not distract the doctor from attending to Anna.
"C'mon, Mr. Bates, let's wait in the servants' hall," Mrs. Hughes kindly suggested, but John did not move.
"I'm staying here. I may not be in there with her, but I cannot abandon Anna, not now." After prison, John vowed he would never leave Anna again, and he had no plan of breaking that promise.
Mrs. Hughes recognized the resolve in the valet's eyes and made no more suggestions to leave. Instead, she replied, "Alright, I'm staying here as well."
Anna made another sound of anguish and John felt as if the pain of the situation had punched him in the stomach. He stepped back against the cool wall, mainly to remain upright. He looked down at his hands and realized he still had the bag with the teddy bear. It felt a lifetime since he had made that purchase and clearly Anna could now never learn of its existence.
John regretted not being in there with her, supporting her, holding her hand. Witnessing it would be hard, but leaving Anna to fend for herself was inexcusable. Part of him wanted to burst right in there to be with her, but fear was holding him back. No matter how hard he willed himself to open the door, he was paralyzed to his spot.
The time was getting closer as Anna's yells came closer together. With each yell, John body's lowered down the wall until finally he was seated on the floor with his knees raised. His legs could not support his weight now even if he wanted them to. The tears were threatening to fall but the fact that he was in the hallway did not escape his notice. He soon found it was a losing battle as his sobs erupted from his body. John's heart felt as if it was being ripped from his chest and he had no way of making it stop. He could not even imagine the physical and emotional anguish his dear, sweet Anna was currently experiencing. He clearly was putting on quite a display, body convulsing as he cried, but Mrs. Hughes said nothing. Instead, she calmly put her hand on his back, showing solidarity in his pain. And all the while, no one else came upon them. Mr. Carson had clearly given the staff instructions to give the corridor a wide berth and Mr. Branson must have done the same with the family.
One last utterance came from Anna and then there was total silence. John noticed his own sobs had stilled, but the pain was only beginning. He needed to see Anna—his strength and salvation. Everyone has their limits, but how could he face her knowing the sorrow she must be experiencing? Mrs. Hughes offered to help him to his feet, but John slowly rose on his own. They both waited for the door to open, and after a few minutes, the nurse walked out.
"Mr. Bates, you can come in now," said the nurse.
As John walked in to face his wife, Mrs. Hughes looked down at the parcel he had left behind. A small teddy bear looked up at her through the brown paper. She looked down at the stuffed animal's face, contemplated the sentimentality of Mr. Bates' kind gesture, and could maintain her composure no longer as violent sobs overtook her.