A/N: So, this chapter would be why the story is rated M. I have never written smut before - please be kind! Thank you to Jess, who is thirty-five flavors of excellent and who assures me that my smut-writing skills are up to par.
A little voice Callie had come to recognize as that of reason shrieked in the back of her brain. "What are you doing?" it demanded. "You haven't completely forgiven her yet! You don't trust her! She could still hurt you! And what are you going to do afterward? Sleep in her bed like everything is how it used to be?" Callie heard the voice, dimly registered what it was saying, and ultimately chose to ignore it. She needed this from Arizona. After all of her confessions, all of her improved communication skills, all of her I'm sorrys and I love yous, Callie needed to see it, to feel it. It was one thing to say words; it was quite another to express them in action.
The fact of the matter was that Arizona loved Callie, Callie still loved Arizona, and for the first time in months – maybe for the first time ever – both of them were here, talking, and making real strides toward understanding each other. This morning Callie had told Arizona she didn't want her in her life. This evening she told her she no longer cared. Even if Callie had meant what she'd said, it would have been impossible to live her life without Arizona in it. Arizona had woven herself in and there was no getting her out.
The other fact of the matter was that Arizona, while tired and worn, was still breathtakingly beautiful, Callie was undeniably horny, and those two things were always an explosive combination.
Callie's internal monologue halted when she noticed she was now inside the apartment she and Arizona used to share. It was just across the hall, but emotionally, mentally, it was a whole other world. She felt herself moving through the apartment, taking care not to step on the boxes strewn across the floor. She realized Arizona was not pulling her. Callie was following willingly.
The bedroom was the only part of the apartment that didn't look like someone had staged a war zone in it. Callie recognized the sheets as the ones she and Arizona had packed away to be used again upon their return from Malawi. If she looked just at the bed and not at the bare room around her with her conspicuously absent furnishings, she could pretend nothing had changed.
Arizona cupped Callie's face and threaded one hand through her hair. "You cut your hair," she whispered. "It's beautiful."
"I was trying to get you out of it," Callie murmured. "It didn't work."
"I'm glad." Arizona leaned in and placed a soft kiss on each of Callie's cheeks, right below her eyes. Then she kissed the bridge and tip of her nose and slowly made her way along Callie's jaw. Callie could not remember ever being kissed so softly. She could feel Arizona's reverence, as if she was worshipping each place she kissed, and sure enough, when Callie managed to catch Arizona's eyes, Arizona was looking at her as if she was the whole world. And if, between Arizona's butterfly kisses and the look in her eyes, Callie still wasn't sure how the other woman felt, the slow, shuddering breaths that washed over her face would have made it obvious.
Finally, Arizona brushed her lips over Callie's. For a moment their two pairs of lips just held together, barely moving. Arizona's lips were even softer than Callie remembered, and she felt warmth, enveloping and safe, spread through her body at the touch. Arizona slowly ran her tongue along Callie's lower lip until Callie opened her mouth. Humbled at being granted access, Arizona stroked Callie's tongue gently with her own. She sucked on it just for a second before drawing back and sucking on her bottom lip. She pulled it and then let go, soothing the remaining burn with another gentle kiss, and began placing more kisses on Callie's neck and collarbone. Callie sighed in contentment. She was still fully clothed and Arizona was worshipping her. This was what she had missed.
Running her hands up Callie's sides to cup her breasts through her shirt, Arizona whispered, "I want to see you." Callie nodded and lifted her arms to allow Arizona to slip her shirt over her head and off. Arizona felt her eyes start to water at the sight of Callie in her black lace bra and jeans. How had she ever thought she could give this up, this and all it represented? She stood back and gazed at Callie, awestruck. Arizona looked at Callie as if she was the whole world because she was her whole world. Slowly, as if she were gliding through clouds, Arizona extended her hands and ran them over Callie's stomach, sides, and breasts, touching every inch of skin she could. Callie tingled in their wake. With her hands cupping Callie's breasts, thumbs running circles over what her bra left uncovered, Arizona leaned in even closer and nipped gently at a spot on Callie's collarbone. Callie gasped at the light sting that was quickly palliated with Arizona's soft, warm tongue. She exhaled, but she was so steeped with pleasure that it came out as a breathy whimper. She felt hot pleasure pump through her veins, roil in her stomach, and seep between her legs. Save for her shirt and shoes, Callie was still fully clothed and ready to explode.
When Arizona's right hand abandoned Callie's breast in favor of reaching for the button of her jeans, Callie couldn't help but let out a quiet moan. The sensation of Arizona's hand in even the vague neighborhood of her crotch was nearly enough to make her lose her grip on her control. And when Arizona affixed her mouth to the place her hand had just fled, Callie almost fell down.
"Lie down, sweetheart," Arizona murmured. She wasted no time in returning her mouth to Callie's breast and tugging on her zipper. Arizona's hands on her body as she lowered herself to the bed made Callie feel as if she were being gently laid down. Everything about Arizona was soft tonight.
Straddling Callie, Arizona licked a trail from her bellybutton to the center of her bra. Torturously slowly, at least in Callie's opinion, Arizona wound her hands around her and unhooked her bra. No sooner had the two of them successfully removed the garment than Arizona wrapped her mouth around Callie's left breast and flicked her nipple with her tongue. She licked around it, over it, across it, and Callie gasped and moaned under the ministrations. Her skin began to flush and heat up. Her pleasure shot straight from her breasts to her center, and she felt moisture begin to pool in her underwear. This was torture, but it was the most pleasurable brand she could imagine. She made no move to hurry Arizona along, and when Arizona's mouth switched breasts and Callie felt teeth scrape lightly across her nipple, she was glad she'd made that choice.
"Arizona," Callie ground out, "take off your shirt." Even as she issued the command, Callie's hands were on Arizona's top, pulling at the fabric in a vain attempt to remove it from Arizona's body. Arizona shifted reluctantly, momentarily abandoning Callie's chest. Once the shirt was off and thrown on the floor, Arizona reached up and unhooked her bra herself.
Callie sighed in wonder as Arizona's breasts appeared before her. She traced one with her hand, but as Arizona moved to Callie's torso to nip, lick, and kiss the skin at her stomach and ribcage while her hands began to pull at her jeans, Callie resigned herself to lying back and enjoying the experience. She could think of worse fates.
The feel of Arizona's warm skin against her own, not to mention Arizona's breasts moving slowly just below hers, was exquisite. Ever so slowly – that seemed to be tonight's recurring theme, after all – Arizona slid Callie's jeans from her legs. Callie lifted her hips to help and was slightly disappointed when Arizona didn't take her underwear, too. But when Arizona leaned down and kissed all along the waistband of the underwear, breasts pressing into her thighs, Callie decided it was okay. She was so wet by now that she supposed it was pretty much irrelevant whether or not she was wearing them anyway.
"You smell amazing. Perfect," Arizona whispered, and Callie almost cried. As it was, she let out a high-pitched whimper. Arizona was so close, yet so far. Callie pushed her hips into Arizona and whimper-moaned again. "I know," Arizona comforted. "I feel you. I'm here." Arizona slid one hand down to cup Callie gently through her underwear, rubbing her thumb up and down along her slit. Callie nearly choked on her gasp. "You're so wet," Arizona breathed. "I love this."
Once again, emotion welled up in Arizona at the knowledge that she'd very nearly lost her chance to be in this position ever again. The knowledge that Callie didn't hate her – and actually seemed to enjoy her, if their current scenario was any indication – did very little to quell the lingering self-hatred she still held onto. She did her best to push those unpleasant feelings out of the way and focus on the task at hand. After all, Callie was lying beneath her clad only in a pair of soaking wet black underwear, eyes closed in ecstasy, all but begging to be taken. Arizona would be damned if she let anything stand in the way of her enjoyment of this.
Arizona bent her head further down to kiss and lick at Callie's thighs. With the hand that wasn't cupping her, she dragged her fingertips from Callie's knee to where the inside of her thigh met her center and back down. Callie canted her hips again. Arizona increased the pressure of her thumb; Callie flung one arm out to the side and clenched the sheet with her fist. With her other hand she reached down and ran her fingers through Arizona's hair. It was just as soft as she remembered. Arizona hummed at the touch.
Finally, Arizona's hands fell to Callie's hips and gripped the waistband of her underwear. Callie lifted her hips and spread her legs, and Arizona chuckled at Callie's eagerness.
The laugh cut itself short, though, as Arizona's gaze fell on Callie, naked and spread out before her. Her chest heaved with her shallow breaths, breasts rising and falling in time. Her eyes were barely open, as if she really wanted to look at Arizona but her neural functions were too focused on other parts of her body. Callie's pussy glistened, wetness beginning to drip from her and run down the insides of her thighs. Likewise, Arizona made a concerted effort not to drool, and she could feel herself start to gush into her own underwear.
Still straddling Callie's knees, Arizona brought her head back down to the apex of her thighs. She laid a soft kiss on Callie's clit as she spread her open with her thumbs. Callie quivered but didn't buck her hips, at least not yet. There'd be time for that soon enough. Arizona buried her nose and mouth into Callie's folds and inhaled deeply, loving the sweet, rich, spicy scent that invaded all of her senses. "Calliope," she husked. "Calliope."
Callie, who had prided herself on being relatively quiet until this point, moaned loudly. She had missed hearing her name spoken like this, and in this context it was practically her undoing.
There was a part of Arizona that could have just kept admiring Callie for hours, but the more vocal part of her simply couldn't wait any longer. She'd gone nearly three months without tasting this woman; one more minute was a lifetime. Beginning at Callie's opening, Arizona licked a warm trail up to her clit, gathering as much liquid desire as she could. Callie tasted incredible, sweet, heady, and hot, and Arizona couldn't get enough.
Neither could Callie, evidently. One hand still in Arizona's hair, she reached between their bodies with her other hand and grabbed Arizona's breast. Arizona gasped and ground her hips against Callie's legs. Forcing herself to rein in her own intense arousal, Arizona returned to her task, this time kissing her way back down the path she'd licked a moment ago. Then she kissed and sucked at Callie's glistening pink folds, loving the half-sighs, half-moans Callie was emitting. She nuzzled Callie's clit with her nose as she continued to memorize her pussy with her mouth.
"Oh, god," Callie cried out, her voice high-pitched and needy. "Oh god. So good, Arizona." She squeezed Arizona's breast, pinching her nipple for good measure, and rocked her hips in hopes of increasing the friction. Finally, when she was starting to think Arizona would never touch her with her hands, she felt a finger slowly circle her opening, the touch feather-light. Arizona was still keeping her touches gentle and reverent. Callie squirmed and whimpered at the new contact. Wetness poured over Arizona's hand as her finger continued its torturous circles and her tongue began slow licks over and around Callie's clit. The pressure grew inside Callie and she wanted to scream. The feelings in her pussy, the feelings coursing through her, were exquisite, but she wouldn't be able to come unless Arizona increased…well, everything. On the other hand, Callie was enjoying Arizona's gentleness and the obvious love she was expressing so much that she almost didn't want to come yet. If her body didn't need it so badly, she would be happy keeping on for hours like this.
Callie bucked her hips and cried out as she felt Arizona's fingertip slip inside her – just a tentative entrance, barely anything at all, but oh, it was something. Arizona removed her fingertip and then slid it back in, this time wiggling it ever so slightly.
"Oh, god," Callie cried again. "Arizona, please." She wasn't entirely sure what she was asking for. Whatever it was, it paid off, because Arizona opened her mouth, gathering as much of Callie as she could, and sucked hard. Callie screamed. Arizona slid her whole finger inside Callie and softly rubbed her inner walls. Callie screamed again.
Arizona set a steady rhythm with her one finger and flicked Callie's clit lightly with the tip of her tongue. Callie, for her part, matched Arizona's rhythm with her hips, squeezing and kneading her breast all the while. Arizona hummed into Callie's pussy in satisfaction. When Arizona hit a particularly sensitive spot inside Callie, Callie inhaled sharply and squeezed her legs around Arizona's head.
"There," she cried desperately. "Right there." Arizona immediately complied, rubbing the spot firmly but gently while lapping at her clit just a little bit harder. Callie threw her head back and closed her eyes. There were no more words. She panted, grunted, and cried out, feeling her own wetness flowing out of her as the pressure inside built and built. Her thighs began to shake and her toes curled. Arizona felt the channel around her finger grow tighter and she rubbed Callie's spot a little harder as she simultaneously wrapped her lips around her clit and gave it a good suck.
"You're so close," Arizona murmured, temporarily removing her mouth. "Almost there. Can you come for me, sweetheart?"
"I'm – oh god!" Callie screamed as Arizona hit her spot and sucked her clit at just the right time, with just the right pressure. "Oh g– ohh!" She thrashed her hips arrhythmically as she completely exploded, release radiating through her whole body and thoroughly soaking Arizona's hand once again. Arizona worked her through the orgasm, gradually slowing her finger and mouth before stopping entirely. She slowly extracted her finger and gave Callie's clit one last flick as her quaking body relaxed to small tremors before finally stilling, save for the deep breaths Callie drew in as she worked to regulate her breathing. Callie slowly relaxed her grip on Arizona's breast.
Arizona took delicate, exquisite care in cleaning Callie up, returning to the soft, worshipful caresses of earlier. She was so enjoying herself that it took her a moment to register that Callie was shaking. She ascended Callie's body quickly and her heart clenched at the realization that Callie was crying, cheeks already soaked with tears. Arizona blanched. She was certain Callie had enjoyed herself. Was she having second thoughts now? Had this been a goodbye? Arizona had trouble forming words around the sudden lump in her own throat, but she had to try.
She smoothed one hand against Callie's cheek, absorbing some of the tears. "Calliope –"
"I love you," Callie sobbed, leaning her face into Arizona's hand. "I love you. I love you."