As usual, this wouldn't be half the story it is without the wonderful (and beautiful) Stavanger1 and whenpoetryrises. I truly love these ladies.
The story may be mine, but the characters are Stephenie's.
Chapter 7 – Courtship
Once Alice had deemed me presentable, we walked out of the cabin to find Edward conversing with Jacob. They seemed to be getting on amiably, which heartened me. While I did not see much of Jacob, owing to the fact that his tribe lived far away on the peninsula, I would want to maintain that friendship we had when he did visit. I found myself quite often thinking on him as one would a younger brother. He often teased me as I had seen other siblings do. In private he called me Pititchu, his word for moon, claiming I was as pale as the moon and so it was fitting. In public he adopted my father's nickname for me, Bells.
Edward helped Alice into the carriage as Jacob came to assist me. I saw a moment of annoyance pass Edward's visage when he saw Jacob take my hand, but he quickly replaced it with a smile when I looked at him questioningly. I expected trust from him, much as I gave to him. As Jacob lifted me into the carriage he whispered into my ear, "Pititchu, he's a good one. But if he hurts you, let me know and I'll bring the tribe down to speak to him." I merely laughed at his remark. I glanced again at Edward and sighed as I saw another look of concern cross his face. Surely he didn't think that Jacob could possibly be entertained as a suitor for me? Such a thing was unheard of.
Going to church was as much a social event as a spiritual one for us. It was a place our parents approved of for us to meet and court amongst our peers. The fact that Edward and I met at school was also acceptable but it was not considered a place for socializing. Each Sabbath, after the sermon, the ladies auxiliary would put on a luncheon for the congregation. A place was often set aside for the youth to sit together, at least those who had come out. Since the ball was last night, this would be the first time that Alice and I would be sitting with the group.
Alice had questioned me why I had not come out the previous year. I explained the ball had been held prior to my birthday last year and it was up to my father as to whether or not I would participate. He had asked me if I wanted to, but I declined since none of the boys interested me, and I honestly had no interest in pursuing any relationship at that time. Alice found this hilarious and pointed out to me that this had prevented Edward from pursuing me prior to the ball this year. Secretly I hadn't minded, since it had forced us to form a friendship first.
It was not unusual to see many new faces among the youth at these luncheons. In the brief period of time between the end of harvest and before the snows made the roads impassable, young men, sometimes along with their sisters, would travel from parish to parish in hopes of meeting someone who would be found acceptable to both themselves and their parents. It mattered not what denomination they ascribed to, for all were welcomed equally. It was just to avoid these young men that I had decided to wait to come out. It was also these young men that seemed to cause Edward the most consternation, much to my amusement.
Alice and I sat at one of the small tables set up for the luncheon as Edward went to fetch us something to eat. I could see Mrs. Masen working with the auxiliary in serving the food and sent an answering wave to her own. A few of the new young men came and sat on the ground in front of Alice and me to converse with us. They were interesting but I found my attention wandering always to watch as Edward prepared our plates and returned to where we were. Alice and I insisted that he take a chair, thus elevating him above the other suitors that surrounded us. The other men noticed my distraction, and Edward's attentiveness to me, and so thankfully focused on Alice. Alice was delighted with that. However, all those boys found their pursuit of Alice to be in vain as well, as she flirted with all equally. It didn't help their cause that Edward watched over his sister with the ferocity of a cougar protecting its young.
Alice had informed me prior to leaving for church that my father had requested I stay with them for the duration of his fishing trip. I usually stayed alone but he was afraid tongues would wag now that I had a suitor, and so he wanted us under the watchful eye of Mrs. Masen. I knew it wasn't lack of trust but simply insurance against possible gossip. Besides, it meant I had more time with Alice, and of course, Edward. My father had taken my bag to their house when they went to pick up Mr. Masen for the trip, so we simply went there after the luncheon. It was quite pleasurable to while away the time on the porch since the weather was still fine. When darkness fell we adjoined to the parlor, listening to Edward play as we ladies talked amongst ourselves while doing needlework.
When we retired for the night Edward walked me to the spare room to say goodnight. His mother went into her own room to give us a sense of privacy although she left her door open. He reached up to touch my face, the look in his eyes showing his love for me. He whispered to me as he lowered his lips to mine, "Goodnight, my love. May your dreams be happy and restful." His gentle kiss caused a fire to ignite in me. I knew I needed to restrain myself, but I found my hands reaching up to wind in his hair, pulling his lips tighter against my own. He took hold of my arms to disengage me from him, laughing lightly. "Love, we mustn't get carried away."
"I'm sorry," I whispered as a blush lit my face. "I don't seem to be able to restrain myself around you."
"Try, please," he admonished. I could see that his eyes were on fire and knew his desire was equal to my own. He leaned down and placed another kiss to my forehead and ushered me into my room.
I quickly undressed to my chemise and crawled into bed, lying on my back. Unfortunately, sleep eluded me. My thoughts were constantly on Edward, the feeling of being in his arms, the fire that raged when his lips pressed against mine. I quickly rolled onto my stomach, hoping the change in position would cause a change in the direction of my thoughts. It didn't help. I imagined his chest pressed against mine, how hard and strong it felt. Pressing my face into the pillow only made me think of how soft his lips were. I tried rolling to my side, but that only made me think of having his arm around me, hugging me to him.
With a sigh of frustration, I climbed out of bed. At a loss of what to do with myself, I wandered over to the balcony. Luckily this balcony was secluded so walking out onto it would not reveal me to any prying eyes. I quickly stepped out, reveling in the chill air against my skin as it seeped quickly through my chemise. I hoped this would help cool the ardor I felt burning beneath my skin.
A door closed above me and I looked up. I could barely make out the door to the balcony on the upper floor to the west. Soon after the closing of that door, I heard the sound of Edward walking down the stairs. My ears followed his progress as he descended to the bottom floor. Moments later, the sound of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata began rising from the piano in the music room. It seemed so fitting, the soft melody matching the moonlight glowing from the crescent above. I could feel the stress bleed away from my body as a feeling of tranquility overtook me. Leaving the door slightly ajar so as not to cut off the music, I returned to my bed and quickly fell to sleep.
I awoke to find Alice lying beside me, her face close to mine, staring at me intently. This was not an unusual occurrence whenever I stayed over and I had long ago gotten over being alarmed by this. I noticed a smile cross her face once she realized I was awake. "Good morning, Alice," I whispered.
"Good morning, Bella," she replied. "Are you ready to face our classmates?" She and I both knew that there was going to be talk at school regarding my relationship with Edward. They hadn't been at the parish we had chosen to attend yesterday so I knew I was going to have to deal with them today.
I reached down for the covers and pulled them over my head with a groan. "Oh, do I have to go?" I whined.
I could make out her laughing lightly as she pulled the covers from me. "You'll have to face them sometime. If you stay here they'll only talk more. I've laid out one of the new dresses we finished. It's best to face them with confidence."
Alice helped me get ready; all the time laughing that she wasn't sure who was going to be more surprised by my appearance, Edward or our classmates. When she finally decided I was done, I rushed down the stairs only to run headlong into Edward coming to find us. He grabbed me into his arms with a laugh. "Whoa, there! I wouldn't want you to fall down the stairs." He set me away from him and looked me up and down. "I see Alice has gotten to you." He pulled me into his arms and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "You look lovely." He released me only to pull me outside to the waiting carriage. After helping me in, he assisted Alice, then jumped up and cracked the whip lightly to start the team off.
School was dreadful. Edward had insisted on walking in with my hand pulled through his arm, resting on the crook of his elbow. The whispering started as soon as we passed by. Mr. Banner had to ring the bell a few extra times to call the room to order. At lunch Edward joined Alice and me, leaving the other boys to play baseball without him. Most of the older girls grouped together and pointed at us while whispering loudly.
Emmett and Rose stopped by on Emmett's break from the sawmill. They had finished their studies the previous year, but since the mill was located so close to the school, they had decided to spend their spare time with us. Edward had told me previously that Emmett was saving up to purchase a small plot and a cabin before marrying Rose. A marriage contract had already been drawn up, and one of the stipulations her father had insisted on was that they have their own residence when they wed, which would pass to Rose if she were ever left a widow. Their visit made for an enjoyable time, and lessened the sting of knowing the others were talking about Edward and me.
The week I stayed at the Masen's while awaiting Pa to return seemed to fly by. We quickly settled into a pattern of homework, supper, Edward playing while we ladies embroidered, and then to bed. I didn't venture out onto the balcony anymore, but neither did Edward give me such warm kisses goodnight. After our first night he would take my hand and lift it to his lips. A gentle brush and a quiet wish for a restful sleep was all I received. By the time Saturday night came around I was distraught, having worked myself up to believing that he no longer wanted me. Alice had tried to calm my fears that morning, stating that he was just being careful, but I found his lack of physical affection worrisome.
Before retiring I asked him if we could take a walk about the grounds. He agreed, as did the ever-present Alice, and we commenced to meander about the gardens. I wanted to speak to him regarding his aloofness but didn't know where to begin. Alice trailed far behind, close enough to be in sight, but far enough away to remove any possibility of over-hearing our conversation. I sighed and shivered as I contemplated how to address this issue with him.
"Are you chilled, do you wish to return?" he asked, his voice full of concern.
"No, Edward. I actually wanted to speak with you privately but find myself unable to form the words necessary to express what I want to say," I replied quietly.
I felt his arm come around my waist and leaned my head into his embrace as we walked slowly. "You are concerned regarding my lack of attention?" he asked. I whipped around, ready to confront Alice, when he caught my shoulders so I faced him. "Don't be upset with Alice. I actually over-heard you talking this morning. I know I shouldn't be eavesdropping, but felt that since it was in regards to me, I was justified." He took a deep breath and regarded me as I waited in silence.
"Bella, I don't want people speaking of you as they do Rose," he stated simply.
"Whatever do you mean?" I questioned him.
"Have you not heard the rumors?"
"No, nor would I believe any I hear."
"Whether they are true or not is irrelevant. Unfortunately, perception is reality in a small town, and the perception here is that she has been free with herself in regards to Emmett." He paused as he took my right hand in both of his. "I don't want that said of you, nor do I want to be tempted beyond what I may be able to endure. This is why I have been so remote. I apologize if it's hurt you, but please try to understand my reasoning. I swear I do it in total respect and love for you."
While I didn't like what I heard, I did understand it. It was unfair of me to try to push his limitations. I felt ashamed when I thought on how selfish I had been and how little I appreciated his regard for me. "I'm sorry, Edward," I said with a blush of mortification, "I will remember what you've said." I paused and looked to the ground. "It's just so difficult sometimes," I raised my eyes to his and continued, "I guess I need to have more faith and trust in you. I'm just scared. It's all so new."
"Believe me; I understand what you're saying. It's quite difficult for me as well." He moved his hands from my arms to cup my face as he explained further, "I do cherish you. I will always cherish you. I never thought I would find someone who has the same tastes, takes the same pleasures, in the things of this world that I do, but I have in you. That you are dearer to me than all else upon Earth, is a confession I make with truth; and without shame." Then his eyes lit up, and a small smirk crossed his lips, "But I am ashamed to say my actions make the decision between you and my Maker."
I knew then that we were fine, that we would see the time required until our marriage through. "I promise you, Edward, you will not have to choose between your Maker and me. I will not place your soul in such a predicament as that." I leaned my head upon his chest and felt his arms wrap around me. I felt such safety there, as if the world could pass away and we would remain standing, bearing silent tribute to the power of love.
The next day I returned home after the church luncheon. Pa wasn't back yet, but he was expected. Since he hadn't returned, Alice stayed with me both to keep me company and to ensure I was properly attended. I was grateful to have her as it was quite late when Pa returned. Despite the hour, she willingly arose to help me start the fires in the smokehouse to cure the salmon he had brought back against the season. It was long, tiring work and we were exhausted and sooty when Edward came for us to drive us to school. Pa wrote out a note for Mr. Banner excusing us, and asked Edward to bring our schoolwork home with him. We spent the next two days putting up the fish and I was never so glad to see the last of it go into the loft. Edward assisted us each day after school, fetching firewood and hauling the fish around. I was so happy to return to school!
The days shortened as winter came on. We read the news with interest, following the election closely. Those who owned property in Oregon traveled there for the election, wanting to cast their ballots. There was a choice of four candidates and it was the middle of November when we found out that Mr. Lincoln had won, even though he had only garnered thirty-seven percent of the popular vote. I was terrified. What if this meant war? Edward had already begun to express interest in enlisting if the territory ever formed a regiment, and if I was afraid over the thought of him wrestling Emmett, I was over-wrought by the idea of him fighting in a war.
Alice and I locked ourselves away to start making Christmas presents, kicking Edward and my father out of the house as we worked, or retiring to her room in her home. Back at my house, I was working on a new formal shirt and ascot for Edward, and a new pair of breeches for Pa. Alice was making Edward new breeches and a vest so he would have a complete suit. I also worked on making decorations for my house and the tree Pa would head out to cut a few days before Christmas.
Our main project was cutting up old clothes that were too worn to mend and making quilts. We used old blankets and quilts that had been in need of mending for the inside to make them warmer, using the old to create new. We spent so many hours sewing a pattern around the squares we thought we would wear through our thimbles. One of the quilts we were making would be going into my hope chest. We had chosen material and a pattern I knew Edward would like, in anticipation that we would be able to wed one day.
On weekends we would go from house to house, party to party, associating with our friends and rejoicing in the season. There had been a few more balls since Alice and I entered society, and I spent the entire night of those in Edward's arms, dancing. Occasionally we would retire to rest; Alice was quite good at finding us secluded corners for stolen kisses. She still kept an eye on us, acting the perfect chaperone, lest we became too enamored and people could tell that we were flushed from excitement. She would also start to hum along with the music if someone came close to where we had cloistered ourselves so we could separate and start discussing some topic or other so it appeared that what we were doing was quite innocent. I relied heavily on Edward at these times, for if he had been kissing me my ability to quickly come up with a topic and have a logical argument instantly vanished.
All of our frivolity came to an instant halt a couple days before Christmas, when we learned that South Caroline had seceded from the United States. They stated, "that the Union now subsisting between South Carolina and other states under the name of the 'United States of America' is hereby dissolved." War was now believed inevitable.
A/N
Just a quick note. We haven't met Carlisle and Esme yet. Edward's parents are his human parents, Elizabeth and Edward, Sr. We will meet Carlisle and Esme later, I promise.
Please let me know what you think!
