I wasn't allowed out of my room for the rest of the day. I couldn't decide which was the worse punishment: having to take the fall for what wasn't at all my fault, or being forced to listen helplessly to my parents' argument that seemed as though it would never end. I wasn't given any dinner that night; I assumed I'd been forgotten. An eerie quiet befell the den as evening crept upon the junkyard, and I fell asleep with the silence booming like claps of thunder in my ears.
When we are young, we are brought up on the philosophy that time cures any ailment. Tuck in for a good night's sleep, and everything will be better in the morning. Though I slept fitfully that night, I nevertheless naïvely and optimistically clung to that belief. When morning came, however, I wondered why I had even bothered.
The same stony silence that I had fallen asleep to greeted me as I pried open my eyes. I waited for what I was certain must have been an hour, just in case anything happened. What exactly I was expecting was one of many unknowns. Just as I began debating whether or not to get up and look outside to see for myself what, if anything, was happening, Old Deuteronomy marched through the doorway, making me jump. "You may come out for breakfast," he announced brusquely without a single word of proper greeting.
Inside, I was dying with curiosity, and worry sat like a stone in my stomach when I couldn't hear or see anything of my mother, who was usually the first to take me in her arms, to hug me and kiss me and tell me good morning. But on the outside, I knew better than to pry and ask questions. I seemed to know intuitively that speaking to my father when he was in this state would only make things worse. Instead, I simply nodded and got to my paws; the silence seemed infectious.
At the edge of the clearing, there was an area where the tribe's hunters stored their prey. This collection was used to feed the entire tribe; the hunters were always on their toes to keep it well stocked. In these late spring months, prey was plentiful around the junkyard, and there was a healthy variety of meat. Though I was aware of Deuteronomy's gaze burning under my pelt as I trudged forward, I could see that there was plenty of a selection left for me. That, at least, was comforting.
My stomach growled so loudly I was certain that the entire clearing could hear it. I realized for the first time how long it had been since I'd eaten, and I selected a plump young rabbit and dragged it away to a corner to eat without disturbance.
As my belly began to fill, I became aware of a cat proceeding toward me. I looked up, and Demeter smiled and cautiously waved at me. I swallowed my bite and tucked my forepaws comfortably beneath me, and set my head on one side as my friend plopped right down beside me.
"Hi, Maccy," she mewed quietly, looking up at me uncertainly as if afraid that I was being used as bait, and that my father was about to come bounding out of nowhere and attack her.
"Hello," I replied simply, shifting my weight.
"You . . . you really didn't have to do that," she mewed after a moment more of silence. "You know, yesterday. That was right brave of you, it was."
I looked at the ground modestly. "I know. But I didn't want to see you get in trouble when you didn't deserve it. Dad was already going to punish me anyway."
"I could never stand up to our leader like that," she went on, still awestruck. "And not only that, but you took the punishment for something you didn't even do. That's practically lying, it is!" Before I could interject, Demeter seemed to notice my father's hard gaze upon her. She leaned closer and lowered her voice. "What did he do to you? And what happened to your mum?"
The mention of my mother put knots in my stomach all anew. I stared at my half-eaten rabbit, suddenly not hungry anymore. "Deme . . . why is this all so interesting to you?" I asked, though it came out sounding more defensive than I'd intended. "You're my best friend. I would've done that for you no matter how much trouble I was in."
Her eyes shone. "Then you're a really great friend, Maccy," she mewed warmly. "The best that there ever was."
She edged closer. I felt her fur against my side, and a little purr escaped my throat as she brushed her cheek against mine.
-x-X-x-
"Maccy! Maccy!"
Something tugged on my tail. I turned around to face my little brother, who had been following me around all morning.
"This is boring!" the kitten complained. "Why're we just walkin' around in circles? I thought you said we were gonna play!"
I frowned at him. "That's not what I said, Munkustrap . . ." I muttered. "I told you I'm looking for Demeter, and that we're going to go and do some things on our own. You can go find Admetus to play with or something." Admetus was easily the most annoying kitten in the junkyard at that time; his attention never stayed fixated on the same thing for more than five seconds. But he did seem to be a decent playmate whenever another kitten needed one, at the very least.
Munkustrap pouted. "But why?" he protested. "What's wrong with me? I thought Demeter liked me!"
I scowled. Well, he had a point – that much was true. Demeter still thought that my brother was the cutest thing to grace the planet, and acted around him as if there had never been another kitten in the junkyard. "She does," I conceded in a tone that was half-sigh and half-growl. "But that isn't the point. I really don't think that she'd want to have you—"
"Who says I don't?" Demeter came skipping right up to us. "Of course we'd love to play with you, Munkustrap!"
I stared at her. Lowering my voice, I grumbled into her ear, "Deme, please . . . I'm trying to get rid of him. He's been on my tail all day." In fact, he had hardly left me alone for one single moment since he'd learned to walk. My mother thought it was adorable; I just thought it was annoying. Old Deuteronomy still had his doubts about me, of course, and ever since his argument with Epellina, he'd been looking at me with a disapproving glint in his eyes that made me feel like a mouse at his paws. Clearly, I was not shaping up to be the perfect big brother he'd wanted me to be. Like that was my fault. I'm sorry, Father, but who was the one who refused to give me a decent chance to prove myself? Oh, that's right – it was you. He'd retained a cold and distant attitude toward me ever since that night, focusing his attention instead on showering Munkustrap in all of the adoration and luxury that I used to hold in the palm of my paw. I kept my distance, but not without nursing the beginnings of a grudge that would follow me through the rest of my life. But perhaps what made me angrier yet was that Mother simply sat aside and let him do so. That day had been the first and last time I'd ever seen her stand up to my father. She'd always seemed to have a look of regret in her eyes after that, especially when she looked at me or spoke to me. She suddenly seemed quieter, and much more cautious around the old tom than I seemed to remember. I never did ask her about the scratch marks that had appeared on her face the morning after the argument.
Demeter tipped her head to one side and frowned at me. "Well, then maybe you should stop sulking around so much and actually play with him once in a while," she scolded. "If you just give him what he wants, maybe he won't annoy you so much about it. It shouldn't be that hard."
My ears laid back against my head in protest. "But I came out here so we could be alone!" I whined, not sounding much more mature than a young kitten myself.
My friend crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay, then you can stay here and be alone," she bargained. "I'm going to go and have some fun with Munkustrap."
I watched with my mouth open as she took my delighted brother by the paw and led him away toward the center of the junkyard. I scowled at both of them and sat down on a tin can next to an array of rubbish with a stubborn "Hmph." And suddenly, I was struck with an unexpected sense of jealousy. I didn't know why; Demeter and I both knew that Munkustrap was far too young to be taking an interest in queens. And even if he was, what reason would I have to be jealous of him? Demeter was my best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I was perfectly happy with the way that things were, and I didn't want them to change. I kept repeating this to myself, suddenly afraid that I might forget.
But then . . . if all that was really true, how did it explain the sudden change in the way I felt about her since Munkustrap came into my life? The dizziness that made me feel light-headed whenever she was around? The army of butterflies that fluttered around in the pit of my stomach when I felt her soft golden fur brush against mine? The way that I couldn't help but purr every time she smiled at me? I wasn't quite sure what all of these strange feelings meant, but somehow I got the sense that it wasn't something "just friends" were supposed to feel for each other.
Something jabbed me in the side, jerking me from my thoughts with a startled jump and a sharp hiss. I looked down into two little eyes that were in the process of changing from blue to green.
"No claws, Munkustrap," I muttered, rubbing my side where my brother had poked me.
"Demmy says you were starin' at her," the kitten told me. He blinked up at me, ignoring my words entirely.
I stiffened and sat up straight, caught off-guard. "Er . . . what?" I asked tersely. My eyes darted around, as if I was looking to see if anyone else had noticed, and I could feel my face growing hot.
"Demmy says you were staring at her," Munkustrap repeated innocently. "And you kinda had a funny look on your face."
I couldn't tell which was worse – the embarrassment from being caught staring at my friend under these circumstances, or the shock of hearing my little brother call her "Demmy".
Munkustrap frowned, clearly put off that I wasn't answering him. He clambered up into my lap and waved a paw in front of my face. "Maccy? Hellooo?"
I'm still not sure what came over me just then. Perhaps it had something to do with Munkustrap's complete, unadulterated innocence, the way he reminded me so much of a younger version of myself . . . perhaps it was the recent family tensions constantly playing on my nerves, the feeling that I was constantly under pressure to do the right thing. But whatever it was, I felt as though my eyes had suddenly been opened. Demeter was right. We only had so long to run around and act like kittens. Even if I'd been forced to lose an edge off of my innocence, why was that any reason to let the same happen to my brother? An unexpected grin crept onto my face, and I reached out and cuffed the tom-kitten over the ear. "I heard you the first time, you little fuzzball." Already, I could hear my own purr renewing itself in my voice.
Munkustrap's little frown flopped itself upside-down. He grinned right back at me and snatched my paw – claws sheathed this time. "I'm not a fuzzball!" he declared proudly.
"You are!" I retorted, picking him up from my lap as I spoke. He was getting heavy; I enjoyed taking advantage of the fact that I could still lift him. He began to giggle happily, squirming in my grasp; I lightly dumped him onto a pile of junk, landing him on a torn-up pillow so as not to hurt him. I took a tuft of his belly fur between my fingers. "Look at this – it's all fuzz, it is!"
Munkustrap was laughing harder now, swatting feebly and playfully at me as I leaned over him. "M-Maccy!" he squeaked. "That t-tickles!"
"Does it?" I reached down with both paws and began to relentlessly tickle the kitten's exposed belly. "How's this, then?"
He was trembling with laughter by this point, so much that his pale silver face was turning red and he didn't even bother trying to respond. Somehow, I found this so amusing that I was completely oblivious to Demeter's presence as she approached.
"M-Mac . . . Maccy!" Munkustrap, squealing with delight, was practically gasping for breath. "S-stop! I can't . . . I can't breathe . . ."
I obediently stopped and lifted my brother back into my lap. Both of us were grinning idiotically, and the tabby kitten lifted a paw to wipe the tears of laughter from his face. But as soon as he quieted down, he just burst out laughing all over again. I had to hold onto him to make sure that he didn't fall over.
Finally, he stopped, partly aided by me holding his jaws clamped shut. He gazed up at me with an adoring glow in his blue-green eyes. "You're the best brother ever, Maccy," he told me sweetly. I knew at that moment that it was impossible for me to be upset with him; I couldn't even remember why I hadn't liked him at first anymore. I even purred quietly when he nuzzled my cheek.
"Munkustrap! Munkustrap!" another young voice called from across the junkyard. We both looked up to see Admetus with one paw straight up in the air, waving in our general direction. "Come play!" he invited loudly.
Munkustrap turned his eyes back up to me for a moment, as if asking my permission. I nodded and lightly gave him an encouraging nudge. Taking the hint, he hopped down from my lap and scrambled away to join his new playmate.
Something stirred in my peripheral vision. I glanced around just as Demeter sat down beside me; I responded with a startled jump. "Hi, Deme," I greeted, quickly trying to cover my embarrassment. "I . . . didn't see you there."
She just smiled. "You do like him, don't you?" she purred, leaning against me the slightest bit as she watched the two younger kittens scampering around happily.
I felt my heart leap. "He's okay," I answered affectionately. "Not bad, for a brother."
Demeter giggled. "I knew you'd warm up to him. I could see it in the way you looked at him, I could. All you really wanted was to get to know him better."
I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah . . . I guess you were right. He is sort of cute, in his own way." When Demeter nodded her agreement, I could have sworn that there was something different about the look on her face, something I wasn't entirely sure that I liked. Simply shrugging it off, however, I continued: "He never really did anything wrong to make me not like him, anyway. That's my parents' fault. They don't even try to hide that he's their favorite." I sensed the queen-kit's soft gaze on me, and I sighed as I glanced down at her. "You don't know what it's like, Deme." I looked away. "You don't know how hard it is to be replaced just like that after being an only child for so long."
A moment passed in bleak silence, but then Demeter laid a comforting paw on my arm. "But he hasn't replaced you completely," she mewed. "You're still the prince, after all. It's your right, as the oldest son of our leader. It's not like Munkustrap's going to take that away from you."
Oh, the irony.
"And besides . . ." she continued, a grin winding across her face once more. "You're still my favorite. I don't care what anyone else says about you. Your little brother may be cute, but he's no match for you." And she leaned up and kissed me on the cheek.
Instantly, I felt my face begin to grow hot. I was suddenly glad for my red fur, which hid the blush quite well. I tried to think of something to say to her, but my foolish young brain seemed to have terminated its operations.
Demeter just giggled. "You're adorable, Maccy," she purred.
"Uhh . . . yeah, I . . . uh . . . yeah," I answered very intelligently with a wide, stupid grin.
My friend raised an eyebrow. Reaching up, she knocked on my head with a fist. "Maccy? Anyone home?"
Brought back to real life, I quickly shook my head. "Er . . . sorry," I offered.
Demeter blinked. "Macavity, are you sure you're all right?" she asked me skeptically.
"Never better," I half-giggled.
My friend still didn't look convinced, but she clearly decided to give up and simply shrugged. "Well . . . you were saying you wanted the two of us to get out together? You know, spend some time alone?" She smiled with perfect innocence.
For a brief moment, I was startled by this proposition. I'd almost forgotten. "Oh . . . yeah!" I agreed almost too happily. "So, uh . . . what do you want to do?"
She stared at me. "I thought you had it all planned out."
". . . I forgot." My mind was completely blank and I'm sure my facial expression matched.
She slapped her forehead with a paw. "Right, well, come on, then. Let's just . . . go sit by the tire."
"Sounds perfect," I quickly consented. I hardly even thought to wait for her as I sprang up and started off.
Difficult to believe that a lovestruck kitten who at that moment could hardly remember his own name could possibly go on to become a scheming, despondent master criminal, isn't it? At that point in time, my life seemed perfect. I loved my little brother and I had a blissful little crush on my best friend. What could possibly go wrong now that I had all that I wanted?
