Yusei's POV
Dammit, nothing seems to work.
I've been messing with these programs on our D-Wheels, seeing maybe it'll distract me from the slump I've been having. No dice. I fold my hands behind my neck, sighing with frustration. This is supposed to be calming me down rather than getting me irritated. It's a problem I need to fix.
This thing has been making everyone around me worried. I really can't let them worry so much. I close my eyes, letting my vision be shadowed in darkness.
As much as I just want this fixed, the real solution is that I want Judai back. Did those damn fireworks have to look exactly like the ones back at that festival?
Festival.
I open my eyes a little. Maybe that's what is getting to me. First, fireworks and now a festival going on? As much as I'd love to attend it and spare time with my friends, I just know I'll be down; ruin the fun they've been looking forward to. Rua and Ruka has been wanting us to go for weeks now. I too was excited for it. Jack heard about the ramen stands they have, and Crow was dying to win some games. Aki even asked me if I'd accompany her after she was done with her part at the school.
I shook my head hard, hoping the sudden blush would fly off somehow. Of course, never works that way.
Just never works that way...
I lean back on my chair, hearing the wood creak and cry. I looked up at the small windows. It was getting dark. Guessing it's about six? Maybe seven? Can't even remember when was Daylight Savings Time. I'm such a mess; been distracted no matter what I do. Even screwing up on my freelance jobs, too. All the customers just been having such a disappointing look in their faces.
On my friends' faces, too. Shit, why can't I just be okay already?
In a fit of anger, I slam down my fists onto the desk. The milk in my cup stirred slightly. I look at the cup to make sure none spilled but my eyes catch something else.
The Head Signer mark on my arm.
I study it carefully, as if maybe the answer is somehow inscribed in the mark. As much as I hope for, nothing happens. Just silence in this home as life calms down just outside.
What if the Crimson Dragon can do something? It was able to jump time before, right? Maybe it can do this one thing for me, and-
Oh Yusei, what are you thinking? Don't go around and try to see if a god can help some emotional wreck you're in.
Still...
I lay my hands across the wooden desk, feeling the cold surface slowly absorb my body heat. My eyes just stare at the brown desk. If it were a shade light with a hint of golden, it could look just like those brown eyes. Those puppy-like eyes that follow everything, as if trying not to miss a single thing life gives way. They'd light up brilliantly when Judai would be excited.
And when they're sad, they're so heart-breaking. I saw the sadness in them before I left. He was faking a smile after he pinned me to the wall. What was he going to do?
Ah, don't get ahead of yourself. You already just managed to get that blush out.
The most painful thing a person can ever see is a false smile. I know how to read them already. Living in Satellite, even people who seemed happy and content had that despair in them still. More and more as I saw those lying smiles, the more it gave me strength to somehow connect Neo Domino with Satellite. But then again, I knew about my father. I put two and two together after Martha explained to me when I asked about where my parents were.
She was surprised I didn't cry. But I was. Just deep inside. I couldn't cry out and worry the friends I just made at the orphanage, Jack and Crow. They overheard the conversation but didn't hate me for it. They smiled, saying it wasn't my fault, or maybe I was over-thinking and what they said on TV of being a natural disaster was the real thing.
Those were some of the first fake smiles I've seen.
I stood up, still concentrating my eyes on the wood.
In the time I've met Judai, not once did I see sadness. He was just happy all around, excited. Even during our duel with Paradox, he was just more hyped than anything. Determined to take him down, though. And that is what got him so excited. Then, he wanted us to spend time together. It is such a nice change. Was almost embarrassed to smile myself, but it was so contagious. See that smile and suddenly everything feels okay.
Until I saw his own lying smile. I didn't know what to do. I just...Did what I thought was right. Held him from behind. His scent was soft, nothing that stands out. I wanted to hold him like that, help make sure he feels okay just like I do with everyone else.
But I choked. Since when do I choke?
I just said goodbye, and simply left.
When I got back, I was happy to see everyone was okay. The city wasn't crumbling into ash at all. All my friends came running to me, asking what happened. I told them everything. Jack and Crow got a bit jealous that I dueled with the legends though, heh. I was hard on myself for a while. Fortunately, WRGP was just around the corner so it started to distract me. I knew ahead was something to do with Yliaster just waiting for us. Thanks to Judai, I discovered Fusion could work as the next best thing to use against their Synchro killing tactics. It worked wonders in our match with Team Unicorn. I really want to thank him for it. For everything, really. I was a bit shy with him, but I was having fun. I hope he knows that.
I gently glide my finger across the table as I slowly walk to one end. My footsteps were slow, tapping across the hard floor.
My thoughts really are a mess, too. Can;t even stay on the same subject. Damn it. I need some air.
I walk back to my chair, grabbing my jacket and my gloves.
I'll head to the usual spot where I like to think. It'll be dark soon, anyway. Maybe the city lights will help keep my mind off. At least, that's the second biggest thing I'm praying for.
My top prayer right now? To see Judai just one last time.
Was still in a fanfic mood, but couldn't write the next chapter. Plus, been focusing quite the bit on Judai, so for the Yusei fans, giving some POV to Yusei during his time while everyone else was busy at the festival. Hope you like this small treat!
