The rest of the week went by fairly quickly and Sunday was upon us. Today I was heading to church with the boys and Maggie. I hadn't been to church in a while and it felt nice to be able to go back. Maggie worked a lot and I never went without her. It's not that I couldn't find my way there without her, nor was I afraid to go by myself. No, the reason I didn't go alone was because I had promised Maggie I wouldn't go alone. Especially after she heard the story of Kitty Genovese getting stabbed to death in broad daylight. While I knew I could just as easily be killed anywhere else, I still promised her. But today we weren't going to Maggie and I's old church, no, today we were going to the brothers church. It was a nice morning so the four of us had agreed to walk and I quickly found myself walking with Murphy on my left and Maggie on my right sandwiched between Connor and I. Since it was a fairly new trip to me I held on to Murphy's arm, or rather had it looped through his as he so generously offered it to me. At least that's what I was telling myself. The four of us chattered on endlessly about things until we arrived at the church. Murphy never let go of me as he led me in and guided me to the pews.
I had decided to dress up a bit for the occasion and wore a blouse with a skirt and a good pair of sturdy heels that I could actually walk in.
"Ya look lovely lass." I felt a flush of heat rise up my neck as Murphy's breath wafted across my face. I smiled,
"Thank ya. I wasn't sure abou' the colors but Maggie assured me that they matched." I was supposed to be wearing a black skirt with a light blue shirt and black heels but for all I knew I could have been wearing pink heels with a green skirt and an orange shirt. He chuckled,
"The colors match fine love. Besides, ya'd still look beautiful even if they were mismatched." My cheeks flooded with heat and I knew that they had to be redder than a tomato. Thankfully the service started, saving me from having to make a fool out of myself as I stumbled over words.
As the service went on I couldn't help but feel contented. That here, in this moment, everything felt right with the world. I had my best friend and my boys with me and I didn't feel so utterly alone in the world. It helped to solidify my feelings on the fact that today was the day that I was going to tell Murphy everything. When the service ended and we each had said our prayers and done our confessions we headed back to my place. Unfortunately, the boys had work which meant that my plan to tell Murphy would be postponed till later.
"So we'll meet ya at Doc's after work then yeah?" Maggie chuckled,
"Yes Connor, now off with ya! 'Fore you're late." Connor laughed,
"Oi, no rushin' now or I might not ask Rocco to join us." She gasped,
"Ya wouldn't."
"O' course I would! What do ya take me for? A descent fellow?"
"Leave the lass alone Connor, don't worry Maggie. I'll tell Rocco."
"Thanks Murphy." Connor snorted,
"Ya take all me fun away don't ya?" Murphy sighed,
"Come on." Briefly I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and a quick kiss against my cheek. I could tell by the feel of the body pressed against me that it was Connor,
"Be good Connor." He chuckled,
"No promises lass." As he pulled away I could hear Maggie and he continue on a conversation down the hall towards the door. Murphy's heavy footsteps seemed to echo as he drew closer before he gently wrapped his arms around me. He was taller then me by a head at least which allowed me to tuck my head underneath his chin as I held him tightly,
"You and Maggie gonna be alrigh' while we're gone?" I smiled,
"I think we can manage." He chuckled before placing a long kiss against my forehead,
"I'll see ya later tonigh' then love." I swallowed the lump in my throat as he pulled away,
"Have a good day at work, keep Connor outta trouble yeah?" He laughed,
"That's a full time job." I chuckled,
"And I know ya can do it." With that being said, his footsteps began to fade away until I heard the door shut and the softer sounds of Maggie's footfalls drawing near,
"Well you two seemed quite homey there didn't ya?" I chuckled,
"I don't know what ya mean." I turned my back toward her and headed toward the sofa with her in tow,
"Oh yes ya do. Don't think I don't see the way ya face lit up when he held ya hand on the way ta church this mornin'." I blushed, "Aye, see, ya goin' read a tomato. Spill." I laughed as I held my hands up in surrender,
"Alrigh' calm down. Not much to tell really. I think… well… I'm gonna tell Murphy tonight. About wha' happened. How I lost my sight." There was a pause and I felt the cushions of the sofa shift as she scooted closer to me,
"Ya that serious are ya?" I nodded. She took hold of my hand and squeezed it, "Good. I think it's great that ya tellin' him. Like I told ya from the start, the lads are good fellows. An' I know they love ya, as if ya were their own kin. Ya practically their sister. Well, to one at least. Murphy on the other hand, ya'll be snoggin' him 'fore the end of the week." I spluttered as my face grew hotter,
"Bloody hell Maggie!" she broke out laughing, "What da hell's the matter with ya?"
"What?! It's true! That lad is head over heels for ya and so are you. All jokin' aside, the brother love ya, and they'll look after ya. And Murphy will take care of ya far better than I ever could. He's already doin' it. I've never seen ya so happy, so free, in all the years that we've been mates then ya have been in the last few months with him. He's healin' ya Chris." She was right. Murphy and Connor both had been taking away the pain bit by bit but Murphy played the largest role in that. He made me feel human again. He didn't treat me like a freak or an invalid. Granted he was concerned a few times, like when he first saw me cooking, but that was all it was. Concern. They were making me feel whole again. He was making me feel whole again.
"Aye. You're righ'." I sighed as I leaned over and put my head on her shoulder, "Thank you Maggie. For everythin'." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and put her head on top of mine,
"'S what I'm here for Chris."
The end of the work couldn't have come soon enough. It was almost time to clock out which meant Murphy was that much closer to getting to see Chris again. He knew that he was falling, he'd given up trying to deny it, and he never tried to fight it. He didn't want to; he enjoyed spending his time with Chris and seeing her face.
Connor chuckled,
"Calm down ya git. She'll just now be getting' there so don't go getting' ya knickers in a twist." Murphy gave his brother a halfhearted glare,
"Shut up." Connor slung his arm over his brother's shoulder,
"Come on, 'fore ya lose your ever-lovin' mind." The brothers swung by Rocco's and picked him up before continuing their journey to the pub.
As soon as the brothers walked in the door Murphy's eyes found Chris sitting at the bar with a couple of regulars who often drank with the boys. They kept the girl under their "protection", as it were, until the brothers arrived. Murphy didn't want another mishap like when he first met her. The guys were happy to oblige and it put him, and Maggie, at ease. Murphy sidled up onto the stool next to her before leaning over and kissing her cheek. She beamed at him,
"Murph!" Her cheeks and nose were flushed and warm telling him exactly how much she had had to drink so far, "How are ya?" Murphy chuckled,
"Alrigh'. See you've decided to take part in the drinkin' tonight." She giggled,
"I've only had two." He smirked,
"Well, don't get ahead of yaself. Don't want ya gettin' sick now do we?" She merely chuckled. The night went on and the drinks poured on. Murphy took it easy on the drinks though, he knew Chris, and he knew that she didn't drink unless she was working up to something. Normally she would giggle more and fall into a laid back state. Tonight, however, he found that as the night progressed she became more agitated and by nine her smile was completely gone. Gently, he touched her shoulder before leaning in to speak, "What's troublin' ya love?" She turned toward him and for the first time Murphy could see all the pain and anguish clear and unhidden in her eyes,
"Can ya walk me home?"
"Of course." As he stood he helped her off of her stool gathering their coats up and slipping hers on over her shoulders. He looked at Connor and Maggie, who was working behind the counter tonight, "I'm takin' Chris home. Don't wait up." Connor knew something was wrong. He could see it on the lass' face. He took hold of her hand and kissed it,
"Night lass." She gave him a small smile,
"Bye Connor." With a grim smile Maggie nodded at him,
"See you both tomorrow yeah?" She nodded. With his hand on her back, Murphy guided her out of the noisy pub and into the street. For a while they merely walked in silence, her hand tucked away in the crook of his arm. He wouldn't force her, when she was ready she would tell him. About half way there she stopped. He could see the turmoil swirling around in her eyes as she took a shaky breath,
"Ya know… it's been fifteen years now since I seen anythin'. I remember the day an' I can remember what certain thin's look like cos I can feel 'em… But faces, colors, the sky… I can't remember those. I can get an idea of what ya look like by tracin' your face and features but I won't ever know the color of your eyes, or your hair, or your skin. I can hardly..." She swallowed hard as tears began to brim in her eyes, "I can hardly remember what my own parents looked like… I was only eight, mum was a journalist. She did an article on the Yakavetta family… they didn't like it very much." Murphy felt his stomach clench. "They killed our dog, Max, an' cut his tongue out an' left it on mum's desk. Da' begged her ta stop but she… she wasn't afraid. She said, 'We can't live our lives in fear of others. We can't keep quiet abou' the evil in the world, we have ta call it out and brin' it forth for judgment.' In her next article Don Yakavetta a coward…" She squeezed his arm as the tears began to spill down her cheeks. Her legs shaking, he squeezed her hand back as he swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, "We were on our way ta church, the breaks in mum's car… they were cut. We went flyin' into oncomin' traffic…" She let out a choked sob, Murphy draped his arm over her shoulder pulling her closer, and letting her cling onto the front of his coat for support, "Neither of my parents survived. I hit my head on da window. Doctors said I had some damage, not really sure what all he said. One doc said I'd never be able ta see properly again, even with surgery I'd still have ta wear glasses. Grandfather couldn't afford da surgery, so I went without it. Everythin' is jus' black and lighter shades of black, like shadows in the dark." Murphy let her cry into his chest as held her tightly in his arms. He ran his hand through her hair in soothing motion as swallowed down his anger and tears,
"'s alrigh' love. Jus' let it out." She gripped his shirt tighter,
"I can't remember what da color red is… everythin' is just black, I can't remember any colors an every day is jus' shades upon shades of black." For a while neither one said a word as Murphy continued to pet her hair. Finally, he leaned down and kissed the top of her head before quietly speaking,
"Red is when your face warms up from blushin'. It's the feelin' ya get when ya with the people ya love. It's the sun on ya skin." Gently he pulled back just a bit before cupping her chin and gently running his thumb over her bottom lip, "A kiss ya share with someone ya love." He took hold of her hand and pressed his lips against it before pressing it into his chest with her palm flat against his heart, "Red's the beatin' of a heart. I know it doesn't make up for actually seein' but there's more to the color red than jus' seein' it." Tears filled her eyes again as he squeezed her hand,
"Murphy… no one has ever said anythin' so beautiful and so… wonderful… I can't even put into words jus' how much that means ta me. Thank you." She pulled him into a tight hug, burying her face into his chest. He held her just as tightly as he rested his cheek on her head,
"I can't begin to understand what you're goin' through love, but I'd like to help ya as best I can."
"I'd like that Murphy, I really would." He kissed the top of her head before pulling back and taking hold of her hand, continuing their journey to her home. She rested her head on his shoulder as he mulled over everything she had said. He knew that there was still more he had to learn, like about her time with her grandfather and her early struggles with losing her sight, but that could wait. Tonight was the first step in breaking down those walls she had built up.
As they approached her door he let her untangle herself from him to unlock it before she turned toward him. She bit her lip for moment, silently contemplating something. Murphy took a few steps forward and gently took hold of her hand,
"Chris, ya can ask me anything ya want." She blushed,
"Will you stay with me tonight? Please?" He smiled,
"Of course I will." She smiled back before pulling him into the house. After she locked up for the night and they both shed their coats and shoes she led him back to her room.
"If you want, we can share the bed." Murphy could see the deep scarlet on her cheeks and couldn't stop the grin that stretched across his face,
"I'll be a perfect gentlemen love." She chuckled,
"I know you will, 's only reason I offered." He chuckled as he pulled off his shirt and rosary before he crawled under the covers. He watched as she gathered a few things before heading toward the bathroom and emerged again a few seconds later. Her hair was pulled up into a pony tail, exposing her neck and back which were pale in comparison to the back tank top and matching shorts on. She easily found the bed and crawled in next to him, lying on her side so she was facing him. He took a chance and pulled her closer, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. He knew she was blushing, but he could feel her smile against his skin,
"G'night Murphy." He kissed her head,
"Sleep well love." It didn't take long for Chris to fall asleep, something Murphy was very grateful for. He needed some time to think. Anger and sorrow were the two prominent feelings he had. He was angry at Yakavetta for killing her parents and causing her to lose her sight, he was angry at her mother for getting involved with them and not stopping when she had the chance, and he was even a bit angry at God. How could He let such a terrible thing happen to such a wonderful girl? She didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve to have her life destroyed like that. He sighed, but God worked in mysterious ways and if she had had her sight he never would have spoke to her at Doc's. It made his heart hurt though to know she was in so much pain. He couldn't imagine what it would be like to not be able to see color… to not be able to see the faces of those you love.
Lying there, in the quiet of the night with Chris wrapped in his arms, he vowed that he would do everything in his power to help her "see". He would tell her about the world, the people, and everything around her. He would use words to describe everything he could to her. He would be her new eyes.
