AN: HELLO HELLO GOOD MORNING! We're back peeps! We've got a whole new chap of Bella spewing thoughts. This chapter is more of a filler chapter, but chapter 8 is in the works and will be here shortly! We meet Alice in this Chapter, we learn more about Bella, and so so much more kids. So I'll meet you down below. Enjoy!
BPOV
I woke up against something that was oddly harder than my mattress. It wasn't an unpleasant or uncomfortable something, just something foreign. I snuggled in deeper, not yet ready to leave the warmth that was surrounding me, and thought about what I would have to do today. I was going back to work at the book store today, and then I had a meeting with my advisor at school to discuss my dissertation. I thought about what I would make for dinner and what I would do this evening. Hopefully, I could spend a few hours in the library this afternoon to look up some more sources, but I didn't know if I'd have the time or the energy. I groaned, not wanting to leave the warmth I was surrounded in. I again snuggled into what I was laying on, thinking it was my couch or the mound of pillows I had brought out. I made a squeaking grunt like noise while I moved, to show the world my displeasure at being awake. Then I heard a chuckle. It was a heavenly sound. It reminded me of Ed… Oh, shit…
The events of last night came flooding back to me. Hearing Edward's story, eating fish and chips, except the chips were actually french fries, but I digress, eating British candy, playing twenty questions for hours, falling asleep…
Oh, fuck me.
Fuck me sideways twice on a Thursday in winter outside in the snow naked.
I had a nightmare.
And then I cried on Edward.
And he held me.
I must have looked so weak. Oh shit. This was just perfect. This was exactly what I needed. Great, this was just more ammunition for him to use, and I know people, I know people, they will take your weak moments and use them against you. No one had ever seen me after a nightmare, and now it had happened twice in two days.
Again, I say: Fuck. Me.
At least he wasn't here now…was he? I snuggled again into my sleeping spot, trying to be incognito and hidden, and cracked an eye open before looking around discreetly. I didn't see him anywhere and sighed in relief at avoiding that awkward situation.
"Look down."
I shrieked and jerked my head up and low and behold, I was sleeping on Edward Cullen.
Fuck me. Whore me out and fuck me twice on Sundays.
"That doesn't sound very appealing to me; I'm not one to share."
Thank you, mouth/brain filter for being so loyal to me, especially in my time of need.
"Coffee. Too many things to think about without coffee."
He chuckled again beneath me. Why hadn't I moved yet? I mentally assessed my location and the reason I had replaced my head on my Bedward. Oh dear Lord above, I knew where I was. I was in The Nook. That's correct ladies and gentlemen of the peanut gallery, I have moved on from the simple snuggle, rocketed past the cuddle and taken up residence in The Nook. That space between his shoulder and where it's like in his armpit but not, you know? It's like you squeeze yourself into the nook and shove your face in his neck and his head goes on yours and it's perfectly awwww moment-ly. That was my current situation, except I was also on top of him. This was big. I never nooked, and here I was, nooking like it was an Olympic sport and I was a whore for the gold.
And yet, I still hadn't moved. Why hadn't I moved? 'Cause I've thought about moving, and here I am, nooking. This nook is hypnotic. It's like Christmas and chocolate and orgasms and Ben and Jerry's and Jasper's stuffed french toast all rolled into one. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I was cussing and I was nooking and this day was not starting out well.
ABORT DAMMIT! ABORT!
I groaned again and finally removed myself from The Nook, mentally waving goodbye to it.
"Mmm… good morning." I was trying to be polite and avoid the awkwardness that was me nooking him in my sleep.
I was not fully awake and not fully coherent. I tried in the least awkward way possible to dislodge myself from on top of Edward. I managed to do some sort of tuck and roll to the side, landing on my back next to him, the pillows on the floor keeping me from the embarrassment of smashing my head on the floor.
Thank you pillows, you've supported me when my mouth to brain filter has failed.
I was insane. I needed a coffee drip, stat. I groaned once more before getting up and staggering my way into the kitchen. I would avoid anything that would bring attention back to the nook situation. The Nook would not be mentioned. I started the coffee pot and leaned my hands against the counter and hung my head down in between them. I was feeling things now that would only cause me pain later and I needed to stop that immediately. I knew what it was like to be left. I knew what it was like to be hurt. I knew what it was like to leave to save yourself. I was not willing to repeat any of those experiences ever again. I would not repeat those experiences. Never again.
I wouldn't go back to that place from which I've come.
I sighed, because it really was too early to be thinking of this. It was too early to be reliving my heartbreak. But there never really was a good time to think of it, which is why I never did. I shook my head and looked up; pushing off of the counter to see The Nook and all that was connected to it leaning against the kitchen entryway.
"Good morning, love. Fancy a day with me?"
The Nook was trying to kill me. It was calling to me and inviting me to a whole day of nooking opportunities. I thanked God above that I actually had a rather busy schedule today. Speaking of that, I really needed to get ready to go do all of that. The Nook would not be taking over my day.
"Actually, I have a lot to do today. I'm going back to work today, then I have a meeting with my advisor at 5 and I really want to try to get to the library to look into some more primary sources for my thesis. I should also probably hit the grocery store and I know I have laundry that needs to be done and… oh…"
I stopped talking when I saw the furious look on Edward's face. He… he wasn't mad I couldn't spend time with him, was he? I mean, I had to work; it wasn't something that I could help. I needed the money. I needed to meet with my advisor. All of this was important to me and my life and I… shit. What if he… He wouldn't hurt me. Edward wouldn't hurt me.
"You're going to work all day, and then you're going to go to the library and carry around heavy books, and then meet with your advisor?"
Wasn't that what I had just told him? He was beginning to scare me a little. Memories were pushing through the crowd of thoughts in my mind, rushing to get to the front, struggling to be seen and felt and heard.
"Edward… are you…"
His eyes were clasped shut and his jaw was clenched tightly.
"Bella. I told you that you have to take it easy if you want to get better. Lifting heavy books and… where the hell do you work anyway?"
I looked at my feet, stuck in the corner of the kitchen, up against the counters. I didn't know why he was so angry. It just didn't make sense.
"I work in a... um… a book store… over on Pine."
"A book store. A bloody book store." His eyes snapped open to look at me and the anger I saw in them made me flinch and cower against the counters. I was acting so weak, but I was frightened. I looked around me to see if there was anything I could get a good grip on to use as a weapon if need be, my eyes resting on the frying pan I'd left out on the counter. I looked back at Edward to see his eyes softening.
"Listen, duck, you working in a book store, carrying books, going up on ladders, walking around the whole time, it's not good for ya. Just yesterday you basically slept the whole day and you were quite tired after just being out of the house for an hour or so. I really think you should take it easy. I don't want you getting so tired that you just pass out on me."
Shit. He was right about that. I needed some hours today at the book store, so that was still a must. I couldn't believe that I was going to compromise with this man. Here he was, no more than 20 seconds ago scaring the life out of me and now he's trying to negotiate more time for me to rest. My reactions and emotions towards him were all over the chart and I needed to get a handle on them fast.
"Ok. Listen, I need to clock some hours at the store. First of all, because if I don't I might lose my job. Second, because I need the money, however small the amount may be. I'll talk to my boss and see if I can duck out early. Then I'll skip the library for today, come back and nap or rest or eat or whatever, and then I'll meet with my advisor. While I'm there I'll ask for a short leave of absence due to my injuries. I was going to ask for some time off anyway, but I want my advisor to look over what I have already so that I can keep working on it while I'm taking the break. Alright? So it's…"
I looked at the clock on the microwave and was surprised to see it was 8:00 a.m.
"…8 a.m. I need coffee, then shower, dress and get my things together and then go. I'm sorry to be pushing you out so…"
"Oh, no. I'm going with you today."
I stood there stunned. Here I was telling him that he could leave and he tells me that he's coming with me today? To my work, to my advisor meeting? I don't think so.
"Um… no. I don't think so. You can't come to work with me and you most definitely can't come to my advisor meeting. If you want you can give me your number and I'll text you or something when I'm done with work and you can mee…"
"No. I'm coming to work with you. I'll drive you there and drive you back when you're tired and want to rest. I'll help you out here and drive you to your advisor's meeting. But I'm going to work with you. You can't carry anything heavy, you can't walk all over the place looking for books so I'm going to go and help you. When you go to your advisor's meeting I'll carry your shit and then wait for you to be done."
"My meeting could take over an hour, you know that, right?"
"I'll find something to do. You've got plenty of books here; I can always just take one with me and read it while I wait. I'm not backing down on this. You really don't have a choice. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."
I couldn't believe this. I didn't even want to know what the hard way was because I was pretty sure it would just make me angry. I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, ignoring the dull ache in my ribs.
"Fine. I'm going to go and get dressed. Then I'll make some breakfast and we'll go. I need to be at the store by ten, ok? Do you need to stop at your apartment to get anything?"
"Nope. I've got a change of clothes."
I rolled my eyes at his obvious enthusiasm towards my acceptance of his terms. I was still pretty annoyed. I wanted to be this independent person who didn't need to rely on anyone. That's who I've worked hard all these years to become and this man, this stupid beautiful, irritating man, was breaking down all my walls and barriers and I was nearly helpless to stop him. I didn't want to do this. I didn't want to get in too deep with this. He was just helping me until I was better. It would just be for a few weeks. Had it only been a few days so far? This whole thing might kill me.
I walked past him as I made my way to my bedroom. I was about to take off my pajamas when I heard him knocking on my door. I turned and opened the door to see him standing there with a metal chair and something like a sponge on a really big stick.
"Here. With the ribs broken, taking a shower can be a huge pain in the ass. So with the chair you don't have to get tired from standing there for so long and with this….bloody…thing you can reach places without twisting all over the place and hurting your ribs. Umm…my sister, Alice, bought it for you. Said it was God's gift to man or something."
I had to laugh at that. And I really had to laugh at the sight in front of me, this big badass British pub owner standing there with a loofah on a stick. It was even pink. I found that hysterical, my ribs, however, did not. I moved to take what Edward had brought, but he just brushed past me and walked into my bathroom, setting up the chair in my small shower and leaning the brush against it. He smirked at me as he walked out.
"Have fun. Call me if you can't reach anywhere."
With that he winked at me and left.
What the fuck?
I shook my head at the odd man that just left my room and gathered my outfit for the day. I wanted to wear something that would make it so I wouldn't have to change clothes before my meeting. I grabbed a pair of dark skinny jeans, a white blouse, and a boyfriend-style blazer to put on top.
I showered using the "God's gift to man" brush thing and it was actually really handy. I had to sit down a few times because my legs still didn't feel very strong. My headache was a dull throb I barely noticed and my cold was at its end, which was nice. The steam from the shower helped to clear my congestion up and made me feel a whole lot better.
I got out and got dressed. I wrapped a towel around my head and moved into my room, grabbing some make-up things, telling myself that I wanted to look good for my advisor meeting, that I wanted to look professional. But a little voice inside my head tells me to shut the fuck up and accept the truth. My emotions are everywhere, and if I weren't on the pill and knew I hadn't had sex, I would have thought I was preggo. Thank God for small favors at least.
I walked back into the bathroom and spread out what I would need. I set up my tools in a little line, convincing myself that this was just to make me feel good, just to give me confidence. I pulled a little purple bottle out of the line, the one that promised to dry in 60 seconds. I opened it and painted the color on my nails, satisfied with the results. Being careful so as to not ruin my nails, I opened the little circle of eye shadow and brushed it on, a mixture of pink and brown, then pinched my lashes with the eyelash curler before brushing on some black mascara. I looked at the results, not too much, just enough to enhance and bring focus to my eyes. I grabbed my trusty red lipstick that I wore yesterday and glided it across my lips, pressing them together and puckering them to make sure it was even. I checked my nails, and once I was sure they were dry, removed the towel from my hair and finished drying it with my hair dryer so that it fell in waves down my back. I walked out to my room and pulled on the hat I wore yesterday as well as one of my favorite pair of heels, an expensive Betsy Johnson pair of black and white pumps Renee had given me.
I looked in the full-length mirror, then walked to my jewelry box and pulled on a multiple strand necklace with a few pink flowers attached to it. Perfect. Professional, fun, safe. I would make a good impression.
It was who I was impressing that I was lying to myself about. I was wearing heels, with the snow and the ice and all that jazz lying just outside my door and I was going to brave it all… in heels. This should have shown me already that I was in way too deep. But I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind and exited my room, head high, pleased with how I looked.
Edward was dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt and he was cursing at what seemed to be a pan of… something that shouldn't be that black…
"Ummm…"
As soon as the sound that attested to my awkwardness left my mouth, Edward swung around and looked me up and down, from the bottom of my power heels to the top of my hat. He smirked at what he saw before whatever he was murdering in the pan popped and crackled, making him jump and curse again.
"Bloody fucking eggs and bacon. Fucking Americans and their weird fucking food. Fucking weird bloody pan."
With that he turned off the stove and threw the pan forcefully in the sink, making me jump.
"Right then. Umm... your pan is an asshole and lied to me. It is not nonstick and I don't know what the fuck happened. But I think it committed suicide."
"I don't think it committed suicide; I think you murdered it in cold blood. Were you cooking eggs and bacon in the same pan?" I laughed.
He looked down sheepishly, "Well…yeah. I figured it'd make less to clean up and breakfast is not my forte. I can make fish and chips and burgers and pub food. Bloody breakfast is the bane of my fucking existence. I'll get you a new pan, one that's not a selfish arsehole."
I laughed again and looked at the clock; I had about an hour to get to the bookstore. I nodded to myself before going and gathering what I needed. I grabbed my satchel and placed my purse items in it, phone keys, wallet, hand cream, stupid things I knew I needed and wouldn't be without, then I put in some books I was using as sources for my thesis and some homework for a few of my classes. I figured I could get some work done during the downtime at the store, also hoping I'd have the energy to head to the library. I grabbed my portfolio, another gift from Renee, which held my notes for my thesis. As a final thought I threw in my reading glasses, thankful that I wouldn't forget them.
I placed all this by the door and then turned to grab a cup of coffee. I added my insane amounts of cream and sugar and then made to start making breakfast again. Trying to find another pan to use.
"Don't bother. Let's go, we'll stop by the diner before you need to get to work. Jazz will be working so we'll get some great bloody food."
I nodded and finished my coffee, figuring I'd pick my battles and just not argue with that one. I grabbed my coat and handed Edward his. Then I moved to exit the apartment and grab my stuff, when a flash of white snapped them away from me. I turned to see Edward giving me a triumphant smirk as he swung open the door and bowed sarcastically, waiting for me to pass.
So I flipped him off and walked away from him. I waited at the stairs as he closed my door with the extra key that he seemed so fond of using and handing out to strangers without my knowledge. I would be asking for that back, and we would be having a long conversation about privacy, common courtesy, and possibly petty larceny.
Edward walked over and pulled a beanie hat out of his back pocket and shoved it over his crazy sexed-up hair. I wonder for a moment, as we walk down the stairs, if his hair has had sex and that's why it's all sexed up and crazy? Or maybe his hair just whacks off a lot? Can hair whack off? What if his hair is a girl? So many questions…
I shake my head and laugh at myself because seriously, I should not be allowed in public.
Edward smiles at me and lifts his eyebrow, questioning my laugh, but I just smile back and shake my head. Sometimes the inside of my mind is a scary place.
"Edward, I swear on the Dahli Llama, Ben and Jerry's, and all things peaceful in this world, that if you do not let me get out of this chair in the next six seconds I will find the biggest book in this place and I will shove it so far up your ass that it will hit your brain and you'll go into a coma and they'll have to do invasive surgery to yank that sucker out of your cranium."
This was not a good fucking idea. We had fun at the diner with Jasper running around and yelling at us from across the room, engaging us in conversation while he was helping other people. We had a great breakfast and Edward and Jasper made me laugh harder than I have in such a long time.
And then we got to the store. He spoke to my boss, Angela, who upon hearing the real events that led to my calling out, demanded I go home on paid vacation. To say I threw a shit fit would be putting it lightly. I demanded that it was my right to be there and work and that I wasn't using my vacation hours like that.
They finally relented and let me stay. But they put me in a chair, in front of the cash register and would not let me move. Numbers and I, we are not friends. I can make change and ring things up no problem, but I can only take so much of it. I revel in the act of hunting for that just right book someone is looking for. That obscure volume of Greek literature I have to hunt down in the store, and then hunt down on the computer to order when I can't find it. I live for the customer that asks me to recommend something good and listens to me babble on while they follow behind me as I stack books in their arms.
But no, I was too fragile for that. Any books that needed to be unpacked, Edward carried them over and began to unpack them while I yelled instructions at him. Any customer that needed help, Angela took care of, not even letting me look something up on the computer. And here I was, seated at the register. Not even standing, just sitting in a chair, with a fucking pillow on it like I was some kind of fucking invalid.
Edward was obviously shocked at my words and my attitude so I just gave him a sickly sweet smile and cocked my head to the side, silently daring him to push me.
"Right then… ummm… I suppose you could use a walk around then."
Thank fucking God. I hopped down from the chair and began to walk around the aisles, checking some of the books Edward put away, making sure they were according to the system I had set up and glancing at some of the new titles; thinking about using my discount to buy some of them for all my newly acquired down time. I paused when I came to a beautiful copy of a book I haven't seen in years, a book that pushed more and more memories to the front of my mind. Peter Pan.
My mother's favorite book.
I brushed my hand along the cover and opened it to the first page. She always got lost in this world, always loved the idea of never having to grow up, of a keeping that innocence, of good always defeating evil. She told me it was the magic, the simple, loving magic that was in the innocence of children that made her love it. The kind of innocence I never got to have.
I stroked the book reverently, tears welling in my eyes as I tried so hard not to remember. I tried so hard to just stay in the present and not get lost inside my own damn mind. I felt a hand on my arm but I wasn't pulled through.
"Bella?"
His soft smooth voice broke me. It broke past my walls and past my inner turmoil and stroked my heart reverently, much like I stroked the book in my hands.
"It was her favorite book…"
He placed both his hands on either side of my face and looked into my eyes, helping me to stay in the present.
"Who's? Who's favorite book, love?"
Yes, keep talking. I'll get away from the pain. The pain will go away if you just keep talking.
"My mom's. She loved this book. The way innocence makes everything magic, the way growing up is seen as a sin. The loss of innocence meaning the loss of magic. She loved it. The whole thing. She told me, never to lose my innocence, to never lose the magic. But I never had it…"
I trailed off as I shook my head, trying to dispel my thoughts. I was letting him in and it wasn't a good idea. I looked up into his eyes and saw so many things, concern, fear, and that something that I just couldn't name.
"Bella, what happened to your mum, duck?"
I closed my eyes against the pain that would undoubtedly come once the words left my mouth.
"She died. There was a car accident. And she died."
"I'm sorry to hear that, doll."
"Me too."
I turned my body moved back toward my chair, suddenly tired. I still had the book in my hand and I knew that I would be taking it home with me. I sat down and stared blankly at the register. Edward leaned in front of me against the counter watching me with worried eyes as I rang myself up, not bothering with my discount. I wanted to pay the full amount for this, as a small token to my mother and one of her great loves in life.
"Bella, are you an only child?"
I snapped my head up and my brow furrowed in confusion. That was a random question.
"Yes. I am. My parents divorced when I was young and my mother couldn't have children after me."
"Oh. Do you have a large extended family then?"
Why was he suddenly so interested in my family? The last thing I wanted to be thinking about was my family, or lack thereof.
"No. No, I do not. My mother was an only child and her parents died while I was very young. And my father… I don't… I don't see my father or his side of the family. We're not in contact with each other."
Please don't ask the question, please don't ask the question, please God, don't let him ask…
"You don't speak to your father? Why's that?"
Fuck you, world.
I sighed because this was bringing forth the bad memories. It's times like these that I wish I had agreed to take anti-anxiety medication, but I knew that I would never do something like that. It was too close to what I despised most in this world.
"My father and I… we didn't…he was…is… I just…we had…"
There were so many ways to phrase the bullshit and I just couldn't think of a safe way to do it. I couldn't think of a way that would make it so he would stop asking questions and I would be able to stop fighting the memories. I sighed again.
"My father and I…we didn't agree….on…certain…crucial things…and we had a ummm…a…falling out, if you will. I haven't uh… seen or spoken to him in 8 years. The same with the rest of his family. And they don't make any effort to contact me so you know… and umm…"
"What are you doing for Christmas?"
My head was spinning with this kind of questioning. I didn't know what he was trying to do or where he was going with this.
"Ummm… I don't really know."
The holiday was about a week and a half away. I knew what I would be doing. It was the same thing I had been doing every year for the longest time, since I didn't even want to think when. I would be spending the day sitting at home, eating as many different kinds of dessert as I could think to make and watching Christmas movies on television until I passed out. I would buy one present for myself and then the next day I would treat myself to a nice dinner at a restaurant. And the shoes. I always got the shoes, just like she always did for me.
But of course, I would never tell Edward this. He seemed like the type that believed in Christmas miracles. He seemed like the type that had the innocence and magic my mom always described when she was talking about Peter Pan. He would want his whole family together for a big meal with matching sweaters, singing carols, and opening presents under a big beautiful tree while it snows outside. I didn't want to bring him down with my solo mission Christmas celebration. I also didn't want him to pity me or think less of me. I was fine with the way things were. I always have been and I always will be. I don't need Nookward coming in here and shaking everything up.
His eyes gleamed with something akin to hope, which was enough to make me weary.
"Well, if you don't have plans, my mother would really love it if you would join our family for Christmas. It's quite amusing, a mix of Irish, English and American traditions and what not. Rather loud, lots of bloody food, and some good times. What do you say?"
He was the sweetest man in the entire world. I wanted to run in the other direction as fast as I possibly could. There was no way that this could ever have anything resembling a happy ending. My baggage alone was enough to send him running for the high hills, and if he ever found out about it, he'd never look at me the same way ever again. I was too attached and there was no way I was spending Christmas with this wonderful man and his wonderful family, only to be reminded of what I did not, would never, have.
"I'm sorry, Edward, but I umm…I might be…volunteering! On Christmas. At… the homeless shelter! Reading! And…handing out food and stuff. But I'll see what I can do. About that. You know."
That had to be the shittiest lie in the history of all lies. Thankfully, I was saved from whatever Edward was about to say by the bell chiming over the door, signaling a customer. In walked a dainty little woman, shorter than me, with a beautiful white wool coat on with grey boots and a tote bag with a picture of a stack of magazines on it. She had dark hair cropped short, and the only way to describe her would be to say that she looked like a fairy.
"By the Book has to be one of the most clever book store names I've ever encountered. Is that a subtle reference to Romeo and Juliet?"
This little fairy with her familiar accent had hit the nail right on the head.
"Yes, it is actually. From the line "You kiss by the book." We thought it would be a funny thing to do, plus it's like saying "Buy the book." Can I help you find anything?"
She laughed and almost…danced? Up to the counter where she placed her bag on the counter and leaned toward me.
"Yes. You most certainly can. I'm looking for one Bella Swan."
Shock was evident on my face. I turned to see Edward smirking at this little woman, and I wondered if they knew each other. I know that not everyone with an accent knows the other person, but maybe they did.
"Um… well, that's me. I'm sorry, but do I know you?"
The short woman squealed and jumped over the counter to hug me and kiss both my cheeks.
"Oh, Bella we're going to be just grand friends you and I, I can already tell! I can't wait to get to know you and spend time with you! Edward has said so many good things about you, and I can't believe you told him off, I mean no one really ever says no to Edwa…"
Edward laughed as he slung his arm around the blabbering pixie. I was in shock all of that was coming out of her in one breath before Edward cut her off.
"Alright, Ali, calm down, ok, love? Geez, you'll scare the bloody hell out of her. Bella, this is my sister Alice, who so excitedly forgot to introduce herself. "
Oh. OOOOOOOHHHHH. This was the sister that wasn't the sister but was a cousin, but really was his sister,sort of.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Alice. If you don't mind my asking, how do you know where I work?"
"Oh that's easy. See, Edward was always talking about you and he wouldn't share, the mean one." At this she slapped Edward in the shoulder before turning around to face me again.
"Anyway, I talked to Jazz today and he said he saw you at the diner before you went to work so I asked where you worked and as it turns out, it just so happens to be the book store one street over and down a couple blocks from Duffy's! So of course I had to come by and meet you myself, because if we left it up to Edward, I'd have met you when you were old and grey."
She smiled when she was done, obviously proud of herself.
"I was just talking to Bella about her plans for Christmas, she doesn't have any family around and I didn't want her to spend it alone."
Traitor. Sex haired traitor! He was throwing me to the wolves! He knew my lie was bullshit and now he was calling in the big guns. I could tell that this girl most always got what she wanted one way or another.
True to form Alice was shocked and looked at me with a heartbreaking, devastatingly sad look on her face.
"Oh, Bella, dear. You simply must join us for Christmas, it's no trouble at all, and we'd love to have you. Oh, please say you'll come? It will give me someone new to talk to and enjoy. Please?"
Oh shit. What had I told Edward I was going to do? Crap. Focus, Bella. Stand tall. You've got this. Don't worry; the fairy will not defeat you.
I cleared my throat before continuing.
"Actually, um… I was just telling Edward that I was planning on volunteering…at a umm… homeless shelter…"
Alice's face went from heartbreaking to disbelieving in seconds as I trailed off on the last word, letting it hang in the air between us.
"Oh no, no, no my dear, that won't do at all. You'll just have to change your plans then. I won't take no for an answer."
Ok, I don't know what was up with Edward's family, but if I wanted to hang out with some homeless people on a holiday then damn it I was going to do it. I was opening my mouth to make a comeback that would be rude and probably heartbreaking to Alice, when Edward cut me off.
"It's ok, Ali, if Bella planned on volunteering then she'll be volunteering. It's a very honorable way to spend the holiday."
And now I feel like an asshole, because I wouldn't actually be volunteering, which made me a heartless, lying asshat.
Alice's face fell in defeat for a second before it brightened again almost as quickly.
"That's fine then. But won't you come with me tomorrow when I go Christmas shopping? I'm really hoping to get a lot done and I'd love the company. Rose, Emmett's wife, is busy and can't come with me and I'd hate to go alone. Please say you'll come?"
I hated shopping, and who the hell would I be Christmas shopping for anyway? Myself? That alone was embarrassing enough to make me say no. But the look she was giving me and the excitement she spewed was contagious, and I found myself agreeing.
"Sure thing, Alice. I'd love to come. Call me with the details and I'll meet you there."
We exchanged numbers and Alice insisted on picking me up. She gave her brother and me both a hug and danced her way back out of the store. I was exhausted at this point and I think Edward could tell. I lifted my bleary eyes up at him and he chuckled, before grabbing my things up and going to tell Angela we were leaving. She came out from the back room and gave me a hug, telling me to call her about my hours.
I lowered myself into the leather seats of Edward's car and felt myself falling asleep so quickly. I struggled to stay awake, not wanting to be rude, but my brain had experienced so many emotions in such a short amount of time that it was having trouble keeping up without taking a break. I heard Edward's door close and felt him pull my seatbelt across me and click it into place. I felt his lips on my forehead as he whispered to me.
"Sleep now, beautiful girl."
I smiled at his words and tried to think of something to say that would make sense to him, something that would make him understand what my life was like, what I was doing. But I was so tired that nothing made sense, and I wasn't sure that when I uttered the words if it was a dream or if it was reality.
"I don't want to be alone anymore, Edward."
AN: Ok ladies and possibly gents, what do you think? Good? Bad? What the hell was that? Who died? Let me know!
Let's recap once again:
-We've learned more about Bella and how she reacts to certain things. Angry people= a no go for her.
-Nookward. We've all met the glory that is Nookward and his lovely existance. Nookward will be back people, and he will be back often and in large quantities.
-Bella works at a book store.
-Bella does not like sitting around
-We learned how Bella's mother died and that she doesn't talk to her father.
-We have fake Christmas plans
-We have Alice
-And we have a confession from Bella that will be explained more in the next Chapter, which will be in BPOV.
So? What do you all think? Are we loving it so far? hmmm?
A huge, grand, and loving thank you to my awesome beta, Musegirl, without whom my commas would be missing, it would be if and random words would be in sentences to create nonsense. E-mailing with her is kinda hysterical, and I'm one of those lucky writers who's beta understand the bullshit I spew without thinking. ;)
Alright kids, the polyvore is updated, all of the links are on my profile, enjoy this chap and the next will be on your doorstep soooooon!
Now, click that button down there and leave me some love. :D
~*~Mo~*~
