Thanks for the reviews! They mean a lot to me :)
The flight was agonizing, but their destination was worse. There was a pit in Hotch's stomach as he dreaded telling Mrs. Reid the awful news.
A part of him was still in denial. Reid couldn't be dead, could he? Maybe this was all a big mistake.
Finally they arrived.
"Remember," Hotch told Morgan. "I'm telling her."
Morgan slowly nodded.
They entered the hospital.
"We're here to see Mrs. Reid," said Hotch as he held out his badge to her doctor. He stared at them.
"Where's Spencer? He's supposed to be visiting Diana later this week."
Something caught in Morgan's throat.
Hotch took a deep breath.
"I regret to inform you, but Spencer Reid has passed away."
The doctor, Dr. Welks, gasped and his eyes watered with tears.
"H...How?"
"Car accident," said Hotch quietly but formally.
Morgan was about to confess it was he who was driving but couldn't. Dr. Welks nodded, his body shaking.
"Shame...tragic...so tragic. A brilliant young man, and one of the nicest I have ever met."
Morgan could barely swallow.
"We'd like to tell his mother," Hotch said softly. Dr. Welks nodded solemnly.
"Of course. She's...over in the corner."
Hotch and Morgan slowly walked over towards her, along with the doctor.
"Mrs. Reid?" Hotch asked gently. Diana turned and her heart sank when she saw them. A mother's intuation sparked in her. She wanted them to leave.
"No!" She hissed darkly. The three looked at each other.
"Mrs. Reid it's with my deepest regrets to inform you-"
"NO!" She screamed again. Deep down she knew why they were here. She didn't want to hear it though. Morgan winced at the pain in her voice. "GET OUT! GET OUT! LEAVE!"
"Diana!" Dr. Welks begged. "Please!"
Hotch had to get it out.
"I regret to inform you that your son is dead..."
"NO!" She sceamed the last word and tears started to roll down Morgan's face.
"Mrs. Reid," he said. Hotch tried to stop him but he had to say it. He stepped forward. "I was the one driving when your son...was killed...it's my fault..."
"KILLER!" She shrieked at him. "Murderer!" She flung herself towards Morgan and several orderlies had to restrain her. Morgan stood there in shock, as did Hotch, as she tried to claw herself towards him, screaming words like babykiller, causing him to constantly flinch. Welks finally had to sedate her. They watched as she was carried off to her room.
"I'm sorry she said those things to you," Welks told Morgan. Morgan stared at him.
"Why? They're true."
"Morgan, you shouldn't have told her that!" Hotch was angry, really angry. "She didn't need to know..."
"I couldn't keep it in, Hotch! I couldn't bare to look at her and NOT tell her! She deserves to know the truth!" Fury rose in Morgan. Fury like he never felt before. "She deserves to know her son's best friend is a killer!"
With that he stormed out of the building. Hotch rubbed his forehead. It was clear that Morgan especially would take a long long time to heal from this. Perhaps he'd never heal. Hotch wasn't sure if he would either. If any of them would.
Morgan fought the tears as he stood outside. He didn't deserve to grieve. He didn't deserve to cry, not when it was his fault Reid wasn't there.
It's not your fault.
He sucked in his breath as he heard Reid's voice in his head.
"Go away, Reid."
Not your fault.
"GO AWAY!"
I don't blame you.
"PLEASE!" Morgan sounded urgent now, desperatly fighting to keep that voice away from him. Where the hell was it coming from?
I forgive you
"DON'T SAY THAT! I don't deserve it." Morgan was really crying now.
Please...forgive yourself...for me
"I can't," he wept as his knees buckled and he knelt on the pavement. He wondered if he was going crazy but he didn't give a damn about that now. Hotch came outside to see how Morgan was and saw him doubled over, convusled in sobs.
He rushed towards Morgan and unable to do anything else he just put his arm around his friend and let Morgan release his tears until there was nothing left.
