Riding the Fence
Ch. 7
BPOV
The date with Victoria is going amazingly well, I truly can't believe how well we get along and the things we have in common. She is funny and engaging, I have spent most of dinner laughing. I don't think I've had this much fun on a date in years. Except for the occasional prickly feeling on the back of my neck, making me feel self conscious, like someone is staring at me, my attention never wanders from Vicki.
After our dinner is cleared away, we sit sipping our drinks, continuing to talk and laugh. Her cheeks are flushed pink and her eyes are bright, we're both more than just a little tipsy. She is absolutely gorgeous, and the alcohol coursing through my veins gives me the courage to reach up and caress her cheek with the back of my fingers. She leans into me, the heat of her skin warming my cool hands. Our eyes lock, and I can feel the air between us thicken, but I've taken her warning about not playing games seriously, and we've had such a good time, I don't want to ruin it by pushing her. So it takes me completely by surprise when she leans forward, pressing her warm, luscious lips against mine. I only hesitate a moment before I return the kiss.
My lips are moving slowly, sensually against Victoria's, her tongue gently probing my mouth. She moves closer to me until she's more in my lap than she is in her chair. If her hair didn't feel so fucking good wrapped up in my fingers, and her mouth taste so damned sweet, I might care that this is slightly beyond the bounds of polite society. But fuck polite society. This kiss is hot. As far as my body was concerned, all systems are go. Her soft moan causes me to rub my thighs together, desperate for some kind of friction. I want nothing more than to move my hand down her shoulders, along the curve of her breasts, pressing my hands against them, feeling her nipples pebble against my thumbs, feeling the warm, heavy weight against my palms. My mouth waters at the thought of licking and sucking her flesh.
I'm just about to pull away to ask Victoria if she was still opposed to coming home with me, when I hear the last voice I expect practically shout across the room. I'm frozen momentarily as an image of Edward flashes in my mind, and my stomach twists guiltily. I look up just in time to see him stalking across the room, his eyes flashing dangerously and his nostrils flaring. He's pissed.
I pull back from Vicki and straighten my back. If he wants a fight, he can fucking bring it. Because I have nothing to feel guilty over, and he doesn't have the right to be pissed.
"What the fuck, Bella? You just chose to keep the fact that you're gay a secret? So what, the other day was just some sort of game to you? Fuck with the straight guy's head for kicks?" He finally pauses his tirade long enough to let me speak.
"If you would shut the fuck up for two seconds and ask instead of screaming at me in a restaurant full of people like I owe you a goddamned thing, you might have learned that I'm not gay. However, you are an asshole and you are interrupting my date!"
I can see his mind trying to make sense of the assumed contradiction of my words. His brows are furrowed, eyes narrowed. On the inside, I'm jumping up and down at having the upper hand for once, for being the one in control of the situation.
The gentle clearing of a throat brings my attention away from the pucker of Edward's brow to Victoria. One perfectly sculpted eyebrow is raised in quiet challenge as she takes in the scene Edward has caused. My attention now diverted, I realize that the whole restaurant is staring at us curiously. The waitress chooses that moment to bring the check by, turning towards Edward. I see a blush spread across her cheeks, and she gets a hungry, desperate look in her eyes as she eye fucks him awkwardly without speaking.
I should be sympathetic to the power he has to completely empty a female mind of coherent thought, I mean, fuck that was me when I met him. But an uncomfortable heat flashes across my chest as I watch her eyes roam his face and down his torso. I feel my hands clench, my nails digging into my palms with the effort it takes to keep them by my side. I want to wrap my hand around her overly processed bleach-blonde ponytail and yank her backwards, pulling her away from him before I rip off her hooker-red Lee Press Ons one by one and stab her eyes out with them. My reaction makes absolutely no sense to me, but before I can even begin to process these feelings, he suddenly turns to the walking STD, giving her a withering look that even makes me grimace.
"What?" he snaps, jaw clenched.
His tone breaks her out of her lustful stare, and I watch as the mask of professional control is fixed firmly in place. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. You're causing a scene and disturbing the other patrons."
Edward looks at me expectantly, like he's waiting for me to save his arrogant, self-important ass. An unattractive snort escapes me when I realize that he's seriously asking me to vouch for him to the waitress. Then, just because this situation needs some obnoxious pixie dust sprinkled in, Alice shows up. And she promptly confuses the fuck out of me by not saying anything bitchy and snide.
She looks at Victoria and I apologetically, not speaking at all before she wraps her fingers around Edward's forearm and starts tugging him towards the door. "This is not the time for this, Edward. People are staring, let's just go. Please?"
One look at her pleading eyes and Edward's whole demeanor softens. I can see the moment the realization of the scene he's caused hits him. His eyes widen as he takes in the uncomfortable stares of the other customers and then his gaze turns to Victoria and me. He has the decency to look contrite as he mumbles, "I'm sorry, I...I don't know what I was thinking."
Alice pulls him out of the restaurant without further incident, and I turn my attention back to Victoria. My stomach is churning with nerves, and I'm still feeling vaguely guilty, which does nothing to quell my anger. Taking in Vicky's expression, I let out a resigned sigh when I see that her guard is back up and she's eyeing me warily.
I have no idea what to say to her, and apparently she feels the same way, because neither of us speaks as we finish settling the check and gather our things to leave. The easy laughter and teasing that we've had all night is gone, replaced with an uncomfortable, heavy silence. We stand awkwardly on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant since we've met here and parked in opposite directions. I know this is the end of the night, any hope I had of taking her home with me has been completely obliterated with Edward's douchebaggary.
"I'm sorry, Vick, I have no idea what that was. Edward is just a cousin of Jasper's girlfriend, Alice. I'm not sure how who I date is his business at all." I have no idea how to handle this situation, I don't have a clue what Victoria is thinking or if Edward just fucked up my chance at a second date.
Vicky lets out her own resigned sigh before looking at me sincerely. "I've had a really good time, Bella. I know that wasn't your fault." She pauses, obviously debating on her next words.
"But?" I prompt her.
"But...I don't think this is going to work. I just think that we're looking for different things. I like you, Bella, I could see myself falling for you. But I'm looking for someone who could fall for me, too," she almost whispers the last sentence, but it stings, nonetheless.
"Vick, I think I could fall for you, too. That's why I agreed to go on this date and agreed to keep it completely innocent, I like you a lot." I hate feeling vulnerable, I hate this fucking touchy-feely stuff. I hate handing that power over to someone else by sharing my emotions and inner thoughts. But I'm more scared of her walking away, and what that means if I can't make this work, than I am of her trying to use my feelings against me.
She reaches her hand out to gently cup my cheek, smiling gently at me. "Do you know why I finally asked you out, Bella?"
I shake my head because I have no idea what finally changed her mind.
"Something changed about a month ago. I thought maybe you had grown up a little, that you were looking for something more serious. The last few weeks we would flirt, but you actually listened when I talked instead of constantly trying to fuck me. You weren't trolling the bar looking for conquests. I was completely intrigued and enthralled, you are an amazing woman, Bella. You are captivating and interesting when you stop playing games and just be yourself."
She smiles wryly at me before continuing, "I thought that maybe I had something to do with the change I saw. I thought that maybe you finally saw me and were as enamoured with me as I am with you. But it wasn't me, Bella. I know, without a doubt, that I'm not the one that's got you tied up in knots."
I'm completely confused by her words, I have no idea who the fuck she's talking about. She's the only one I've been pursuing lately. And, as far as being tied up in knots, the fact that she doesn't make me feel that way is a good thing. One of the things I like most about Victoria is that she can hold my attention without overwhelming me. I can keep my head and think clearly, I don't lose myself when she walks in the room. Being with someone who makes it hard to breathe is a recipe for disaster and heartbreak. I've had that before and confused it with love- I won't ever make that mistake again. An image of long blond hair and hazel eyes flashes through my mind, and I force it the hell away, defiantly ignoring the old ache of that particular memory.
"I don't know what to say, Vicky. I'm still the same person I've always been, I don't think I've changed that much." I smirk at her, trying to lighten the somber atmosphere. "And for the record, I still very much want to fuck you."
Victoria laughs at that, giving me a look that's equal parts humour and exasperation. Then her expression turns serious again, her eyes looking sad and resigned. She leans in and presses her lips against mine but doesn't give me a chance to return the kiss before she pulls away.
"Goodbye, Bella."
I'm left standing on the sidewalk, watching her walk away. I'm mildly stunned but not heartbroken. I can't help the feeling that something in my world has just shifted, that this ending before it began is a symbol of some fundamental change. That thought scares the hell out of me.
I slowly make my way to my car, this whole night has been crazy as fuck. I went from agreeing to play it cool, to making out in public, to being accosted and berated by the world's biggest douche, and finally, to being spoken to in some sort of riddle whose solutions all led me back to the same place: me alone and past my prime, surrounded by eleventy-billion cats.
I arrive home to a silent, dark apartment. Obviously, Jasper is staying at Alice's house tonight. I quickly shower and change, needing to be encased in flannel, and ignore the unhealthiness of the pint of Cherry Chocolate Ice Cream residing in my lap.
I've just wrapped my lips around the bowl of the spoon when there's a loud knock on the front door. I'm so startled I almost choke on the bite of ice cream, only just saving it from the floor by clamping my lips together painfully as a cough tickles relentlessly at the back of my throat. The impatient fuck at the door knocks again. Finally, getting my throat cleared, I stalk to the door and look out the peephole, our building is secured, but you can never been too sure.
The very last person I expect is standing there, his hands in his pockets, looking defeated and unsure, the complete opposite of the usual cocky and arrogant prick that I'm used to. Seeing him like this causes the knife of guilt to twist in my stomach again. The reminder of guilt that I don't understand, and his look of apology long after he fucked up, causes my anger to flare. I totally mean to walk away from the door, I mean to ignore him and just take my ass to bed. Unfortunately, my arms and legs suddenly remember the heady feeling of freedom when they ignore my brain and just do whatever the fuck that they want, which, apparently, right now includes opening the fucking front door.
"What the fuck do you want, Edward?"
A/N: What a night for poor Bella- a hot kiss and then dumped! But, at least she and Edward are in the same room now, right?
I know everyone is anxious to know what's up with Bella and Alice and what the hell happened to Jasper. I promise I'm giving out as many details as I can as quickly as possible, I'm not looking to torture everyone, lol. Next chapter brings some very direct answers, I swear!
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