WARNING: Yes, this is in fact, a SasuNaru fanfic, meaning that it will contain shounen-ai moments, and even some heavy smutty yaoi scenes. If you are under the age of 17, dislike shounen-ai/yaoi, or do not like the pair Sasuke and Naruto or even not like Naruto as the uke in the relationship, then please close the browser now. Do NOT leave any rude comments or flames. Criticism is one thing, bashing my preferences is another.

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto is responsible for "Naruto" and all Naruto-related characters, concepts and relationships. I only made up this particular story and the manipulation of Kishimoto's characters.

P.S. I spell "blond" with the extra "e" at the end (blonde). It may be a bit unusual to some, but it's not wrong. So don't tell me that it is.


For people who are smiling all the time, it means only two things: Either they have something to hide, or they're too ignorant of the world around them to know when they should stop.


"Hey, Nara."

Breaking from his concentration, the boy looked up from the shogi board to look at his opponent. No one has stood a chance against Shikamaru, so no one bothered to play. But seeing him at such an intellectual level and the fact that he was bored during the breaks, Sasuke was sitting across from him and putting up a fight. Not one that worried the young genius though…

"What do you need? You see me concentrating right?"

In his moments of serious thinking, Shikamaru could be very cranky sometimes, which annoyed the young Uchiha that he would dare talk to him that way. But he let his eye twitch and gave a sigh before letting that little bit slide.

"Uzumaki."

Seeing how rare it was for Sasuke to mention the blonde outside of an argument with him or anytime out of five minutes in his presence, it got the curiosity of the other boy going.

"What about him?"

Looking down at the board, he let his memories cloud his eyes, thinking back to the day before. Outside of the school, the temperature was steadily increasing, so the clothes the boys were wearing were lighter than a few weeks before. Finally getting a break and taking the opportunity of avoiding any trouble, Sasuke decided to exit the building from another side than he usually did. It was best since he knew that plenty of girls from other schools and even some of the boys from Konoha were waiting for him out on his usual route. Plus he would be avoiding a certain little devil he saw every day.

"Is he always….so happy?"

The other boy arched an eyebrow when studying the young Uchiha lost in thought.

After seeing a wave of boys exit from a door not too far away, Sasuke hid behind a pillar and peeked over. Of course, Naruto had to be among them. He could see the bright blonde mop sticking out from all of the boys, the "Uke Club" members that everyone claims them to be. But what was a bit surprising was not seeing long, black hair or deep red anywhere near the boy. It was probably a first not seeing Gaara or Haku anywhere close by.

"Happy?"

Even so, a couple of boys turned to Naruto and happily shouted something in his face, most likely their way of communicating to each other. But the blonde, in another surprising action, only held up his hands and gave a reply in a normal tone, possibly refusing some kind of offer. There were exchanges of smiles, and the two boys ran off leaving Naruto alone by the school door.

"Well, he's always smiling."

The tan boy's shrunk as his distance between the other students increased. He was always surrounded by so many people and so willingly attaching himself to them. Sasuke just couldn't understand why what he was seeing right then just seemed so…wrong. Naruto's head turned to look back to the building wall and checked it over before leaning himself on the wall and looking up at the sky before releasing a long breath. It looked as if his smile left along with that breath.

"Happy…." Shikamaru mumbled.

It was at this point that Shikamaru's concentration was more on the conversation and less on the game in front of him. Anyone else would have taken the time to try and move the board a bit, but Sasuke wasn't the kind to do that. Plus, he was pretty serious about what he was asking.

"Well….if he's smiling, he's enjoying himself, right? I mean, aside from the times he's scared out of his mind from the principal or Hyuuga or even Gai…he seems pretty content with himself."

It was Sasuke's turn to raise one of his eyebrows.

"Well, there's also the times when he's in fights. More noticeably, the ones he has with you. So if you mean he has other emotions besides joy, then yeah, he has those, too."

Thinking back on the memory, Sasuke just assumed that even if that scene was a bit too contradicting or weird, it would soon change. So he thought nothing more of it and decided to make his leave.

"Okay. What about sadness?"

"You seem pretty interested in Naruto, you know that Uchiha?"

He shot him a glare while defending himself.

"Can't we have a conversation while playing shogi? I just thought of him because he passed here not too long ago with that stupid smile on his face. Just answer the damn question."

Shikamaru's face didn't change at all with the harsh tone flowing in his direction. Instead, he looked down at the board eyeing one of his own pieces.

"Well, since you're so interested…"

His finger made it to one of the pieces before continuing on.

"The only time Naruto would cry would be from the store running out of ramen or the ramen shop closing for the day. But you know those tears aren't real."

The finger slid the piece over to a new spot on the board before removing itself. Sasuke was now in trouble.

"So, no. Naruto's pretty much smiling all the time. It's not like he has anything to worry about in his life aside from grades and the teachers, right?"

Sasuke had to make his way back to school. He did not forget his notebook. It was just in a different place other than his bag. But that doesn't mean he misplaced it. It just wasn't in his bag. Uchihas don't forget things. Ever.

Anyway, while making his way back to school, he quickly made his way to the classroom, found his missing notebook, and made his way down the hall before anyone would see him and ask him a stupid question. Like forgetting things.

But while making his hasty escape, he noticed something next to the wall of the building when he shot through the double doors. There, sitting on the ground, was Naruto. His knees were tucked up and his arms were resting on his knees. As if he had been sitting there for the past hour. As if no one had come around to meet with the boy. He looked so much like an abandoned puppy, or rather, a fox. It was practically visible to see the ears on his head drooping and his tail not making any movements. Even to the Uchiha's eyes, this was so downright pitiful, it was actually sad.

When those double doors swung their way back around, they made a loud noise when settling back to their resting place. By instinct, Naruto's head jolted up from its hanging state and spun around to the source of the noise. But Sasuke was just a bit quicker and hid behind the pillar that he used earlier that day. He poked his head out just a bit to look over to the blonde boy. He saw him look left and right and left again, as if he was about to cross the street. Seeing no one nearby, his head and imaginary ears drooped again before settling back to his depressing state.

Sasuke didn't quite know what he was feeling or know what he was supposed to do in that situation, but he knew that he shouldn't even be there to see it. So he just adjusted his bag and made a quiet but quick exit.

"So why do you care so much?"

Sasuke looked down at the board after Shikamaru moved one of his pieces. He just realized that last move was a stupid mistake.

"….No reason."


Everyone around him assumed nothing was wrong with him. In terms of things at home or anything outside of school. Which was fine. He didn't need anyone to worry about him so much. As long as everyone else around was happy, so was he.

Naruto's mind was a terrible mess. Not just because of his inability to retain useful (or in his opinion, useless) information. For starters, he had no memory of his past. Almost all of his memories of the time before he was seven disappeared for some reason. And no one would explain to him how or why it happened. But he noticed that what they were trying to make him do was to not worry. About information that could potentially hurt him. So from learning from those people, he decided that he didn't need other people worrying about him. If he didn't have to worry about himself, neither did anyone else.

Second, it felt like he was…"cramped." As if there was something else that he knew about but didn't really know. It could be part of his missing memories, but it was still an unknown subject. The best Naruto could do was ignore it, but he had a feeling that it wouldn't go away. That it won't go away. As if it is some kind of invisible force was governing his life. So at some point in time, he named the problem "Kyuubi" and tried to link it to something around him to claim it as the problem.

People knew about Kyuubi, but they didn't know about its origins. Which was fine. No one needed to know those terrible secrets about Naruto. He didn't need them worrying over someone like himself. Someone who wasn't nearly as important as others. At that point in time, he never really cared what happened to him, so long as the people around him that he cared for weren't suffering in any sort of way. And he didn't need to be the cause of their problems either.

He just needed to keep a distance between himself and others. No matter how painful it was.

"Okay…No, I understand….so a couple of days, right?....okay….bye."

The blonde put the phone back on its stand before giving a very heavy sigh. His best friend, Gaara, wouldn't be able to go to school for the rest of the week. Which was why Naruto had been left alone at school the day before. Gaara left on such short notice that he didn't inform the blonde or Haku about his sudden disappearance. Gaara was Naruto's best friend since they were babies (from what he had been told) and have always been with each other no matter what. To the redhead, Naruto was so close people often see him as another part of the family. Gaara's siblings, Temari and Kankorou, often see him as another little brother as well. As for Gaara's relation with Naruto: they seemed much closer than with Gaara and his real brother. So it was something more than a bond between brothers.

And since they held such a close relationship, all their secrets were known to one another. From Naruto's need for companionship and his claustrophobia to Gaara's insomnia most nights and extreme shyness (that's right. Gaara's not a punk or anything. Just shy. Naruto would often notice the blush that would creep onto his face whenever someone would come close to the redhead). Haku didn't compare to the two since he only showed up in their lives the last year of elementary school. So no, the feminine boy didn't know everything about the two, but he knew how to mind his own business which was okay for the blonde. And because of this system, those three were the closest of friends.

Which was downright depressing when Naruto was separated from the two. Gaara always needed a specialist for a doctor and would have to leave town for a couple of days for doctor visits. Naruto and Haku would always fill him in later on events and class work that he had missed. So that would leave the just the blonde and the long-haired boy by themselves. But now, Haku wanted to spend some alone time with his secret lover, and Naruto didn't want to stand in the way of Haku and his love life.

So the only one left was Naruto.

"Alone now, aren't we, Uzumaki?"

Naruto glanced over to the wall to see his harasser for the past week: Kimishima Takashi. To the tan boy, he was just a faceless person. All he could make out of him was the fact that he wasn't ugly (but not handsome either. Just plain average) and had short brown hair. That was all. Nothing else special about him. Oh wait! Except for the fact that he harasses Naruto on a daily basis since he was partnered up with him!

Naruto turned his head away with a look of disgust on his face.

"Tch. Don't you have some babies to kick and puppies to molest, Kimishima?"

"Puppies? You know I'm into foxes."

The blonde cringed at such a terrible joke. Not only was this boy a nobody to Naruto, but a disgusting nobody. Damn Kimishima and puberty taking its God-awful sweet time to really kick in.

"Want me to keep you company?"

"No thanks. Pigs aren't flying, dogs and cats aren't falling, and since Kyuubi hasn't told me anything new, hell must not be freezing over."

Before he could turn and walk away, a hand shot out in front of him and cut off his escape route to his next class. No one but that boy to stop him at that very moment.

"Aw, c'mon, Uzumaki. You're hurting my feelings. I'm just trying to keep you company."

While the blonde turned his head away, the boy took the opportunity to use his other arm to trap him in place.

"After all, you're the one who doesn't want to be left alone."

The blonde looked at the other boy with his azure eyes wide open.

"What?"

"Oh, come now. You think someone like yourself wouldn't have these kinds of things unnoticed by others who watch you so much?"

'How does he know that?' the blonde thought.

As he whispered, he began leaning toward Naruto.

"When everyone goes their separate ways, when you're abandoned by your precious friends, you feel so alone…"

'Since when?'

"You need to be surrounded. You need the attention so bad."

Why does he know?'

"Would you do anything for the attention of someone else?"

'You're not supposed to know me like that.'

"Anything for that attention….for someone to talk to…."

His face leaned in closer.

'Don't come near me. I don't need you'.

"…for someone to look at you…"

'I don't need….I don't need…'

There were only a few centimeters separating their faces.

'I….need….I need…'

"….to touch you-"

"You two!"

Both eyes turned to the source of the noise. Arms crossed, pale eyes glaring, and a very stern look on his face belonged to none other than Hyuuga Neji. Not pleased by their actions (especially of the brunette), the upperclassmen marched over to the two with his glare seeming to grow in intensity by each step.

"Public affections in this school are strictly prohibited. You two separate right now."

"C'mon, sempai," the other boy cooed. "I'm just trying to get to know my spring trip partner a bit better."

In one swift move, Neji jerked one of the boy's hands away and grabbed Naruto by the wrist and yanked him out of the other boy's hold.

"I should report you to Tsunade-sama right away. However, my mission right now is to get Naruto. You should watch yourself until then, Kimishima."

"That's good advice, sempai."

Ignoring what the boy said, Neji stormed out of the hallway tugging Naruto along. They swung around one corner, down the call, and turned down two more halls before they stopped. Without ever looking at the blonde or letting go of his wrist, Neji spoke a voice quieter than the confident one he always uses with other people.

"Just to let you know, you're not in any kind of trouble."

"Huh?"

The blonde took his hand back and looked at the older boy as if his head exploded and a rainbow popped out from the mess instead of blood. Sure, it would be terrible, but you wouldn't be able to look away. Plus, who would have expected that to happen?

"Then what was all that back there with Kimishima?"

With him turning to face Naruto and only looking into those pale lavender eyes of his, the blonde knew.

"You….lied?"

Neji gave him a questionable look.

"I'm human. I can do things like that, too."

"But you're Hyuuga Neji!"

"That's nice knowing my name has some kind of important meaning behind it."

It was Naruto's turn to give a questionable look. Accompanied by a cross of the arms.

"Since when does Hyuuga Neji misuse his authority for personal reasons?"

"I dunno. Since when does Hyuuga Neji start believing he should take fate into his own hands?"

Since he met Naruto.

At the end of the question, the pale boy gave a small smirk. Or maybe even a smile. Naruto rarely saw Neji smile, but it definitely wasn't like any of the other smirks he saw on the older boy's face. So maybe it was a smile. But seeing him smile like that without warning made the blonde a bit uncomfortable. Even when looking away, the blonde could feel his face heating up, which happened next to never.

"You could get into serious trouble doing that, ya know?" Naruto mumbled.

"This from the guy who pulls pranks on an almost weekly basis. This, by the way, is happening less frequently now."

"You don't say."

This was marked down in the history books. Naruto was known for never being uncomfortable from doing anything. But for some reason, holding a conversation with the older boy was one of the hardest things he found himself doing. And talking, or just making noises, was the blonde's specialty. But there he was, not knowing what to say, unable to stand still (which in reality was quite normal), and had no ability to look Neji in the eye.

"Well,"

Seeing how the tension was only getting thicker, Naruto tried to make a break for it.

"I'm already late for class, so I should just get going. No need for the two of us to get in trouble-"

"You're not really that big."

"…excuse me?"

"You're not the normal size of a regular 15-year-old. In fact, even if you were the normal size, you still wouldn't be big."

"Well excuse me for puberty taking its goddam sweet time getting to me!"

"Wait a minute!" the older boy shouted while putting a hand up.

Obviously getting him worked up was not part of Neji's intentions. So he let out a sigh before trying to correct the problem.

"What I meant to say was your body is not that big, neither are your shoulders. You shouldn't put so much weight on them."

Before Naruto got the chance to ask, Neji continued.

"I see you do so much on your own, aside from pranks. But you should know you can't do everything, no matter how much you try. Whether fate is speaking now or not. You can't do everything alone."

He took a couple of steps forward and placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"You should learn to let other people help you once in a while, no matter how trivial the situation may be. Make sure you let some people get closer to you, okay?"

The emphasis on "some" made it obvious to the hidden meaning. But the only thing Naruto could do was look into those pale eyes in front of him. It was weird how they seemed to be drawing him in. What's worse that, for the first time in a really long time, probably ever, Naruto was speechless. First the annoying Kimishima, now Neji. And it was all because they were able to "read" him.

Noting the tan boy's silence, Neji gave another smirk before turning down the hall and stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"You should probably get to class before I come back and get you, Naruto."

And with that final word, a turn of the head and another small smile, he disappeared behind the corner of the hall.

It was true. Naruto never asked for any help from anybody. After all, from a time before he met Gaara, he never got any help from the people around him. They never told him anything nor did they help him in little things such as academics or housework. He was left to fight alone, and so it was his primary instincts.

That mood only lightened by just a bit when he met the redhead and his older siblings. And a bit more when Haku met him later in life. But generally, all of Naruto's actions were based on the fact that there was no one looking out for him or helping him in any shape or form. And if anyone knew this (aside from Gaara), they wouldn't blame him for his actions. But since Naruto only let those select few close to him, no one really knew Naruto's true nature or feelings.

"Usuratonkachi!"

"Huh?"

Naruto's head shot up to see two dark eyes looking right back at him. And they looked a bit annoyed, too.

Oh, right.

It was math class. And they were put into pairs. And due to Naruto's "great" luck, he was stuck with Uchiha.

"Eh, sorry Uchiha. I wasn't paying attention."

"No, clearly you weren't," he snorted.

Naruto never really liked being paired or grouped with other people. Like Shikamaru would say, it was always so "troublesome". And it seemed like the raven sitting in front of him didn't like the idea either. Didn't mean he had to be a total jerk while working together.

"Stop spacing out and pay attention. I'm trying to show you how this problem works."

"Huh? You're the math whiz. Why don't you just finish it and turn the thing in already so we can be done with this?"

"Because if the teacher decides to ask you a question on the worksheet we're suppose to be working on and find out you did and know nothing, we're both getting in trouble. Got it?"

"Haaa…Yeah, yeah…"

Leave it to the prissy Uchiha to take extra precautions on precautions on not getting in trouble.

"Stupid follower of the Kyuubi…"

Sasuke's eye twitched before grabbing another paper and giving his remark.

"Just because I guessed, remember guessed, right about that bad luck of yours doesn't mean I'm a slave to the devil. For all I know, that demon fox of yours is just hiding inside of you. So you're really just some demon child, right?"

The young Uchiha looked at the next problem for a bit before realizing there was no reply from the boy across from him. Looking up, he saw those blue eyes spaced out, not even looking at the paper in front of him anymore.

"U…Uzumaki?"

"Demon child."

'No…'

"That thing is a monster."

'Stop calling me that….'

"Why does something like that even exist?"

'You don't know anything about me!'

"This monster….right here…"

'Don't call me a monster!'

"Naruto!"

It was the second time Naruto was broken out of the trace by the raven boy. But this time, he could feel the corners of his eyes stinging, promising tears to come if he didn't change his attitude fast.

"Huh? Sorry. Guess I zoned out again. This problem right here- how do you do proofs anyway?"

"Naruto."

He knew as soon as Sasuke's tone of voice changed like that, things would be going for the worst. But even when his brain told him that, his body ignored those fears and looked up. And sure enough, it was there.

The Uchiha face, for the first time Naruto had ever seen it (or possibly anyone), took a shape that looked so out of place and out of character on someone like him. The face of worry. But it being on Sasuke's face was the last place Naruto wanted to see it on. Anyone having a worried look on their face was something Naruto never wanted to see. But having it directed toward him was unbearable. And now sitting n the pale face in front of him was just too much.

Sasuke was supposed to be the new student. Someone Naruto never really had to know and definitely someone he didn't want to get close to in any sort of way. But day by day, he was talking to him more, arguing with him, fighting with him. Just getting closer. And now, closer than those other people that were Naruto's "friends", closer than Kiba or Shikamaru, Sasuke had that face that he only saw on Gaara and Haku. And even then, he never wanted to see them worry about the tan boy. Was he now as close to Naruto as Gaara and Haku were?

Since when did Naruto let a stranger get this close to him without any warning or reason?

And why?

"Are you….are you alright?"

He could feel the tears trying their hardest to seep through his eyes. No one should be looking at him like that. Especially Sasuke. Sasuke couldn't see him like that. Like he was weak. Like he needed help. If he needed help, he would have to get closer to people. If he let people closer….

But what was the harm in that? Was it bad to let strangers close?

Was Sasuke a stranger?

Naruto stopped his thoughts from wandering any further and tried his hardest, for the first time, to push his feelings aside. He sucked back the tears, thought of an excuse, and forced a smile onto his face.

"Sorry. I was just thinking about…uh…meditation!"

"…meditation?"

"Uh…yeah! Meditation! I mean, when you meditate, you have to think of nothing, right? But to think of nothing, you would have to think about what you're not thinking about. And if you think about what you're not supposed to be thinking about, then you're thinking about it, so…"

That groan obviously meant Sasuke was done listening to him. And with that, there would be no more prying.

"Just drop it, Dobe."

Looking from the corner of his eye, Sasuke could tell that the subject was dropped but the problem was still hanging in the air. That weird feeling from before started to swim around in the raven's chest. Naruto was obviously trying to hide something, but you could very well tell that it was still in his eyes. Feeling that he had to do something, Sasuke put the worksheet down on the desk and reached into his pocket.

"Uzumaki."

Naruto looked up, but with hesitation this time.

"Even or odd?"

"Huh?"

"Just pick one."

"Uh….odd?"

After hearing the answer, Sasuke pulled two small wooden dice that he found earlier that day and rolled them on the desk in front of him. After spinning for a few moments, the dice finally settled and showed the results of the roll.

"Three and three. Even. You owe me lunch tomorrow."

"What? By what? I didn't even know what we were doing!"

Naruto was obviously getting louder, returning to his old self, so the raven thought it was a good time to get back to work.

"Hey! Don't put those away! I want a rematch! Make it fair, Teme!"

…Or so he thought.


Naruto pushed out of the school doors and slowly made his way to the entrance of the school. Alone. Haku was with that "lover" of his and Gaara was still out at the doctors. Surprisingly, the faceless partner of Naruto hadn't shown his face for the rest of the day. But sadly, neither did Neji.

"Wait. Why do I care if Neji shows up?"

"What about Hyuuga?"

Naruto turned his head and saw Sasuke standing right beside him. Unlike everyone else at the school, Sasuke was still wearing his heavy coat, obviously showing how sensitive he was to the cold. Only Naruto dared to tease him about that and suffer the consequences. Still didn't stop him a second time.

"Huh?"

"You still didn't drop that bad habit of yours, Dobe."

"Oh, right…..Hey! Don't call me a 'dobe,' Teme!"

"That's a pretty late response, don't you think?"

The teasing smirk was met with a glare before the two of them fell to silence. The rest of the school yard was clearing out, all the other boys making their way back home with other people. Girls began getting impatient and started heading back. It seemed like the only two people that weren't moving were Naruto and Sasuke.

"Not know your way home?"

"Shut up, Teme! Of course I do!"

"If you want, I can look it up for you….and walk you there…"

The hint of uncertainty and uneasiness was so obvious in the Uchiha's last statement. Even the blonde turned to face Sasuke who had turned his head in the other direction. Most likely form embarrassment.

But Naruto knew.

Under normal conditions, Sasuke would never offer anything like this.

"No way!"

Sasuke turned his head back around to see Naruto standing several feet away from him and sticking his tongue out like the little child that he was.

"I'm not some girl! I can make it home by myself without any trouble!"

There was a bit of silence in the air as the two of them stood staring at each other. Before Sasuke could say anything, Naruto beat him to it. But saying what he wanted to say was the hardest thing he had ever done. Especially since he felt his face getting hotter and he had the terrible feeling that things would only get worse.

"So…so don't worry about me!"

The blonde grabbed the strap to his bag and gave the largest grin he could muster.

"See you tomorrow, Uchiha!"

He gave a wave with his free hand and sped down the sidewalk until he was no longer in the raven's sight.

Meanwhile in the courtyard, Sasuke only stood looking in the direction Naruto ran off in.

"That idiot."

His fist by his side clenched in the tightest form possible with those thick gloves on his hands. He scowled at the scene he had just saw and played over and over in his head.

His grin was large. Covering most of his face and showing off his teeth.

But his eyes. They weren't as bright as they had been before. In fact, his eyes had never been that bright.

This only meant that it was fake. That grin he gave to the Uchiha and every other smile he had shown at that school. That little parade he was showing to the whole school was nothing but a hoax. Wearing that stupid mask over his face…

"I hate that the most. I hate that, Uzumaki Naruto."


Kimishima. Neji. Uchiha.

All three of them were able to read the blonde so easily. All those years of hiding so well and it all fell apart in one afternoon.

How did this happen?

How did they get closer to him than he wanted? Weren't they strangers? If any of them were, then it had to be Sasuke. He knew Kimishima since the beginning of the year and Neji before then.

But Sasuke was worried.

Neji wanted to help.

Kimishima knew about Naruto's weakness.

If those three were already like this, then there would only be a matter of time before they tried and get closer to Naruto. Only a few more steps before they were close enough to know the "real" him. That level where only a very select few were allowed to tread.

……

Is it okay…to let people get that close? To try and find the "real" person behind the mask?


Was it more depressing than normal? But at least you got a better look at the real Uzumaki Naruto. And now, there's competition for the blonde's heart: NejiNaru, OCxNaru, and of course SasuNaru. More pairs. Just to piss some people off (can you tell that I'm still holding a grudge? lol)

*lol* I added spacers because they disappeared when I put the text here on this website.

Two more chapters until the spring trip.

Hopefully now that I'm on summer break I can work on things a bit faster...hopefully.