A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.


The Warper News Network (the series)

June 2018


(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers.

"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! And here's our star reporters Caulifla and Cabba." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set.

The set is decorated for a summer theme and both anchors are in swimwear sipping fruity drinks.

"Happy summer for all you warpers out there for the month of June 2018!" Caulifla said finishing off her drink.

"And we got some news for you. In social media news, the recently rebooted show "Love that Baby" was canceled after it's lead actor and head writer, Mary Dahl, posted something rather racist things about Asians directed at one of Batman Incorporated's members of the board, Cassandra Cain. On principle, we will not show the tweet." Cabba started off.

"Oh please, who wanted to see that crap show back on the air anyway?" Caulifla said rolling his eyes.

"You do know it was a smash hit that got two more seasons planned after the fifth episode, right?" Angela said from behind the camera.

Caulifla rolled her eyes before saying, "Moving on, her agent Mariam Valenza dropped her, and fellow actors are walking up. Stupid bitch ruined so many jobs."

"You think another network is going to take the show up?" Angela asked.

"They better not. In other news, the reveal of Rose Quartz being Pink Diamond has caused much upheaval within the Steven Universe verses. There has been a rise of Stevens turning evil or going psycho. Even the famed Crystal Squadron has not taken this well with the team disbanded. Ryker Blackthorn could not be reached for comment." Caulifla remarked.

"Poor Ryker must be devasted." Cabba remarked. "In politics, Hercule is trying to run for mayor. I'm not going to go not about it because he's a headache in it…"

Cabba was interrupted by a panicked Majin Buu who came in screaming that Hercule's campaign is winning! Cabba's jaw hung and Caulifla's eye twitched.

"Please excuse me for a moment." Caulifla said getting up and walking off set.

Angry yelling could be heard off-screen before she comes back on camera, but the flower in her hair was on fire.

"I'm happy to announce Videl Satan is running for mayor!" Caulifla said with a forced smile.

"Oh Champa, it's going to be one of those elections." Cabba said under his breath before continuing. "In other news, the Ungandan Knuckles threat has went down as they saw to focus on finding their queen. Bubsy and his crew have however attacked several more worlds racking a combined team bounty of 600 million, so be wary. Lastly, an affidavit from the Order of Reality confirms that any and all wanted posters of Rose Quartz who double as Pink Diamond will be updated accordingly."

"This is Warper News Network, I'm Caulifla and he's Cabba, live long and warp!" Caulifla said closing them out.

"Hey Caulifla, the pizza's here!" Goku shouted off-screen.

"Woohoo! Pizza pool party!" Caulifla said running off screen as the transmissions.


(A/N: Yes, it's early, but it is not early on the other side of the world, so I'm early somehow! I had a bit to talk about, and I wanted to bring the Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz deal as this is a perfect reason for me to revisit the bounties for the Crystal Squadron. How I'll deal with it will be a big surprise.)