Chapter Seven
Eden
I'm not used to this. This whole silence thing. I've gotten so used to the constant chatter of one Justin Finch-Fletchley (and Merlin, what a mouthful of a name!), not to mention what seemed to be a constant warmth coming from his gazillion-watt smile.
When he was here, of course.
I haven't seen him for nearly two weeks, ever since he just randomly walked off.
Not that I care or anything.
(Was it something I said?)
I'm just fine on my own, of course. No worries here. I don't mind his absence.
(That whole thing about me being engaged to Draco? I didn't think it would matter to him!)
(I mean, Draco's just some guy my parents decided I'd marry, I never actually said I would marry that gaytard!)
(Besides, everyone knows that he and Harry are so together that they practically live in Draco's family's Hogsmeade home, so he's completely out of the question, even if I was interested in him!)
Breakfast is boring without him. No one else plays with their sausages to try and make me laugh. He never succeeded, but he got close more than a couple times.
Charms class is boring without him. No one can manage to purposefully blow things up like he can, making sure to have the smoke encompass all of the Slytherins I don't like.
Transfiguration is boring without him. I don't know how I survived it before. Without him there to turn teacups into miniature portraits of Professor McGonagall, it just seemed so... pointless.
Potions is pure hell without Justin. He usually mimicked Slughorn with every word, but without him here, there's no one to translate Slughorn's boring voice to funny so that I can understand it.
History of Magic-I'm seriously considering pulling out my wand and killing Professor Binns again, and not for experimental purposes, just to get the ghost to shut the hell up.
By the end of the fifteenth day-and you know what, I'm not embarrassed to say that I counted each day-I'm just about ready to throw myself off of the astronomy tower, like poor Eloise Cromby, I think was her name. God, she was such a bitch, even before she got those awkward pimples.
I'm standing in the Entrance Hall, wondering if I should head to the dungeons and the Slytherin common room, or go up the stairs to the astronomy tower, when Justin bumps into me from behind.
"S'cuse me-" he starts cheerily, as usual, until he realizes who he's talking to. Then he goes all quiet.
I briefly consider either throwing my arms around him and squeezing the life out of him, or possibly pulling my wand out and cursing him (Does anyone else think this warrants a crucio?), but in the end I just decide on a normal old, "Hi."
He looks down at his shoes, and I can barely hear the next words he mumble, but I get the gist of them: "Hi."
And then he starts to walk away.
And I've had enough of this.
"I don't even like Draco!" I yell at his back. My hands are clenching and unclenching, and I'm only just able to stop myself from going up to him and punching his brains out through his stomach. "I don't like Draco, or my parents, or his parents, or fucking anyone-" I wonder how I should say this. "-except for you, god dammit!"
He turns to look at me, a small, surprised little smile slowly growing on his face.
"So if you don't get your ass into gear I'm going to fucking kill you!" I growl.
He gives me this super big, I'm-trying-to-smile-wide-enough-that-I-can-eat-myself grin that actually hurts my eyes, and then just says, "Cool!" And it's so, so, so, lame.
So why is my heart beating so fast?
And more importantly, why am I blushing?
"Well, anyways, bye," I mumble, turning and walking away. A smile magically appears on my face as I hear his footsteps start up behind me.
The next day, people are surprised to see that Justin is following me around again, chattering away like some sort of squirrel, and that I am, for once, not trying to lose him somewhere. I would, if only to keep up my image of no-fun, serious pureblood Slytherin girl, but every time I see Justin following me happily around, I can't bring myself to do it. Every time he smiles, I end up smiling right back, even if it's just a small, dead-looking smile. I haven't truly smiled in so long my face has forgotten how, and it's a little embarrassing.
"Hey, hey, Eden!" suddenly he's right next to me, and I try not to freak out at how close he's standing to me. I suddenly realize just how tall he is. He didn't seem tall before, since he always acts like such a kid, but he's actually taller than me by at least three inches, and I'm not exactly short.
"What is it?" I ask, trying not to act like my heart is quickening, which it is.
His grin grows wider. "Can I kiss you?" he asks. I feel myself blush, but before I can answer he kisses me quickly on the cheek, then grins and runs off before I can do anything to him. I feel my face turning completely red and throw myself into a broom closet so that the people in the corridor who witnessed the kiss-he kissed me!-can't look at me funny.
I lean against the back wall of the closet and try not to start shrieking about how he just kissed me. I can only hope that my mother's spies weren't in that crowd. I don't know if they were, but I'm going to have to keep and eye on Justin-he kissed me, dammit!-so that I can keep him from getting "accidentally" killed by some hitman my mother hired. I just wonder what will happen when she finally realizes that Draco's been officially going out with Harry for quite a while now... I really want to see her face when that happens. Imagine, Draco's a person not a marriage with some money attached! And I am too, and Justin is, for that matter, and if she does have him killed I'll... I don't know. Do I like him enough to do something daring?
I have to decide.
That's what I keep telling myself. I have to decide if I choose Justin over my mother. Well, my parents, I guess, though my dad doesn't really count. Where does he even live, right now? I can't remember. He divorced Mother a long time ago, and now I think he lives in America with some American wizard-and yes, I did say wizard-and his two adopted children. All I know is that he's got more kids than just me, and he lives somewhere with his husband and is happy. All my mother knows is that she hates him and would do anything to keep me from turning out like him, not that there was ever any chance of that.
Whenever I'm with him, I choose Justin, and since that's most of the time, I usually lean towards Justin rather than my mother.
It's when I can't sleep at night that I remember my mother and I start freaking out. I don't think I know how to live without her ordering my life. Apparently, at one point in time, she didn't control me completely, but all I remember about her is that she is my absolute boss and I obey her without question. And yeah, I know, that's just so... stupid, utterly imbecilic, but, well, that's just how she raised me: to never question her, not ever. She trained me to jump off of a cliff if she told me to, and I've never been sure if I actually would or not. When I'm with Justin, I like to think that I could, but when I'm alone, I feel that I would still do absolutely everything if she told me to.
"Eden?" Justin asks suddenly. I jerk to my senses.
"Yes?" I ask, trying to remember exactly what class we're in...
"What, um, are we?"
For a moment I think he's asking what type of animal, but then I realize he means just me and him, and, most importantly, what we are to each other. No, he wasn't wondering what species of human just he and I were, like I half-heartedly tried to think at first.
I ducked my head to look at our workbook for this class. Oh, so we were in charms. Why hadn't I noticed before?
"Eden?" he asks again, quiet and serious for once.
"I..." don't know. I've never felt like this before. I begin to mindlessly doodle in my book, trying not to notice the look Justin's giving me. "I'd... like to be..." yours forever, but I think that in the end I am my mother's through and through. "more than just friends," I finally manage. I always was bad at speaking my mind, but I didn't think that I was this awful at it.
I can practically feel his excitement as his smile seems to brighten up the whole room. "Really?" he asks, and the tone in his voice makes me want to dance around the room like no one's watching. I think that I know what the expression means now.
I nod. I can't bring myself to speak. My mouth doesn't seem to be working right at the moment.
"Well then, can I hold your hand?" he asks sweetly.
I don't look at him, just slowly hold out my hand. He takes it, and I know without looking that he's grinning so widely people are beginning to stare.
"You're so cute when you're embarrassed!" he tells me. I try to cover up as much as of my face as I can with my free hand.
"No I'm not," I mumble.
"Keep on telling yourself that...!"
A/N Yay! New chapter! Don't worry, be happy, and check out Ed Sheeran! (I would enjoy marrying him someday, haha...)
