Unreachable

by Pandi19

Warning: Angst, dark subject matter. This really isn't a happy chapter. Also, slight OOC Gibbs (Sorry…I did my best to avoid it, but some may find his actions OOC).
Disclaimer: I own nothing NCIS related. Except DVDs and soundtracks.

Reminders: No character deaths. I promise! Keep on reading, this is going somewhere!

A/N: Thank you for all of your support! (Additional A/N at the end of the chapter.) Happy reading!

Chapter 7

Time trickled and minutes bled into hours – three hours and thirty-five minutes to be exact. While no news was good news, the time spent in surgery was worrisome. No one voiced their fears, but they were all were thinking the same thing.

Ducky felt someone watching him and looked up to find Gibbs looking at him, almost staring right through him. Without a word of communication between them the ME knew exactly what his friend was asking.

"It's taking longer than I anticipated too, Jethro. It could be a multitude of things," he paused slightly to swallow. "Internal bleeding can be difficult to stop. With Anthony's condition prior to surgery, I have no doubt they had to give him another transfusion," Dr. Mallard stopped there not wanting to mention the long list of complications and strike anymore fear into his friend. While Gibbs didn't show his fear outwardly, Ducky saw it in his sad blue eyes.

"Too long without info, Duck," Gibbs spoke quietly so that his team couldn't hear.

Ducky slowly nodded. It had been too long. Deciding quickly that action was needed the older man rose to his feet. "I believe I need a cup of earl grey. Jethro, coffee? Anything else?" Gibbs understood immediately what his colleague and friend was doing. The others – Kate, Abby, and Tim, just shook their heads and went back to their quiet conversation.

The medical examiner slipped from the room in search of a strong cup of tea and answers, hoping he at least found the latter.

Kate hid her suspicion well as she watched Ducky leave out of the corner of her eye. She'd looked at her watch several times the past hour knowing each minute that Tony was still in surgery wasn't necessarily a good thing. She could tell that both Abby and McGee most likely had the same empty feeling at the pit of their stomachs – the kind of feeling that did not come from vending machine snacks or this morning's cold Chinese for breakfast. Something was wrong, but no one voiced it.

Quickly remembering she had a conversation to participate in Kate nodded and said "yeah" to something she didn't hear.

"Nobody broke into our house with Bubba there. He would have torn them to shreds!" Abby's hands made a ripping gesture across her body as she dramatically whispered about her childhood.

McGee gulped.

"When I was growing up there were a string of burglaries on my street. Turns out it was my sister, Rachael's boyfriend and some of his friends. We didn't notice it at the time, but he was giving her gifts from the houses he looted," Kate softly reminisced. "They didn't date after that."

"What a jerk!" Abby exclaimed a little louder than she intended drawing several glares from the two groups of people awaiting word on their loved ones and Gibbs. She immediately caught the lead agent's surprised, hard stare and looked away. "What guy does that?" She quietly questioned.

"A criminal?" McGee rejoined the conversation drawing glares from both ladies.

"I just don't know how it happened to Tony. He's so tough," Abby said.

"There no way to know exactly what happened without asking Tony or the guys who did this. From what I saw in the apartment when we found DiNozzo, I think they must have surprised him. He ordered a pizza. Maybe he was watching a movie. No gun was visible. He doesn't have any bruises from defending himself. It must have been a shock," Kate wracked her brain trying to justify what happened for herself – for Abby and McGee and found that she had little answers.

The conversation slowly died down to an uncomfortable silence.


"Jethro?" Ducky's face was solemn as he called out to Gibbs.

Once Gibbs had exited the waiting room, he took in the older man's body language. Defeated. Sad. Hopeless.

"Tony," Gibbs choked out.

"He's been out of surgery about forty minutes. There were complications…." he trailed off as Dr. Wiley appeared beside them with the same surgical nurse from two days prior.

"Agent Gibbs, I am terribly sorry that we didn't provide an update. Agent DiNozzo has been out of surgery for awhile now," the doctor flicked his wrist and checked the time. "…Around forty-three minutes. We were able to stop the bleeding and repair the damage as best as we could. The tear was substantial, so we resutured and gave Tony two units of blood to replace what he lost."

"But?" Gibbs said.

"There were complications. We lost him twice on the table. Almost a third time. Between the shock and the blood loss, he was quite difficult to stabilize. Once he was settled in recovery, we had to restabilize again. Honestly, I'm not sure how Agent DiNozzo is still alive. The next thirty-six hours are critical – actually the next eight to twelve will be telling. If Tony can survive, I'll feel more comfortable reevaluating his chances of survival. I'm sorry the news isn't more promising. Agent Gibbs, I won't lie to you there maybe be other options you need to start considering. I can get in touch with the hospice ward if you decide that would be in Tony's best interest." Dr. Wiley tried to convey his sympathy the best he could. It was never easy to give bad news, but a necessary part of his job. Leaving a copy of Tony's file with Ducky and shaking Gibbs hand, the two medical professional conveyed all of the sympathy and support they could before heading back to check patients.

As if the day couldn't get any worse, the suggestion of hospice completely devastated the two men all over again. Their hearts were broken for the sharp, movie-quoting Senior Field Agent.

Medically speaking Dr. Mallard knew that it was foolish to expect superhuman results from Tony….after all, he was only human. But still Ducky could do nothing but hope for the injured man to pull through. He'd only know him for a little over two years, but it seemed as though DiNozzo always had beaten the odds – he always prevailed when there was no chance of success. The only thing that stopped Ducky from being almost certain of Tony's recovery was the medical file now in his hand. Two gunshot wounds. Extensive bleeding. Glascow Coma Scale score 7. Two transfusions. Complete ventilator assistance. A person did not just bounce back from a trauma this severe. Perhaps God and the love and support of a team…an entire agency could bring Tony back from all of this.

Gibbs always expected to lose an agent out in the field with bullets flying much like how he lost his "brothers" during the Gulf War. Not like this. Tony was off-duty, unarmed, and in the safety of his own home. It pissed him off. How in the hell had something like this happened? Gibbs felt the anger well up and he slammed his fist back against the wall he was leaning against while Ducky looked at Tony's chart. The doctor jumped slightly at the noise lifting his sad eyes to meet the fury in Gibbs' eyes. As quickly as the fury came, it left only being replaced by the now familiar hopelessness. Could Tony get out of this one? Looking into Ducky's eyes, Gibbs wasn't so sure.

"I'll give everyone a sit rep." Gibbs' voice was gruff with unspoken emotion. "They should know.

Dr. Mallard nodded slightly, but remained in the hallway silently thinking of how best to attend to the situation both to his colleagues and Tony. At the sound of harsh gasping sobs from Abby, he knew he was needed immediately whether he had a plan or not. They were all his patients as much as Tony was.


Timothy McGee had never experienced a coworker being injured much less dying. The only person he had ever been close to who had died was his maternal grandmother when he was thirteen. it was a very different situation – massive stroke. She hung on for two days before succumbing. McGee shuddered as he thought of the life cut short in Tony's situation. Just last month he had pulled out his old football moves to break into a suspect's shack and now he was dying?

At Abby's near wailing sobs, Tim came back to awareness, back to the present, back to the Pine-Sol fresh waiting room. This was really happening. He put a gentle hand on the black-haired scientist's shaking back.

"W-what should we do?" He asked.

Four sets of tear filled eyes looked up completely taken back. What should they do?

"Do what we've been doing. Sit with him. Talk to him. Let him know he's not alone. We're still a team. If there's anyone determined enough to beat the odds, it's Tony." Gibbs easily slipped back into the role of leader. Although he had lost hope, he couldn't allow his team to do the same. Tony couldn't afford it.

"C-can I go see him f-f-first, Gibbs. I need…I need to see h-him. P-please." Abby managed to ask while fighting near hyperventilating sobs. "Please."

There was no way anyone could refuse her. Gibbs nodded and held his arm out to lead her down to DiNozzo's room.

Tony and Abby's special friendship could very well save their Senior Field Agent.


Sadie sat quietly at nurse's station looking at the vital signs coming Tony's room every heartbeat and breath recorded on the monitor. Any change and she would have to interrupt Tony and his latest guest.

Abby had pushed the uncomfortable chair as close as she could to her best friend's side. If he hadn't been hooked up to a myriad of machines and gravely injured, she would have climbed into the narrow hospital bed. Just to let him know, he wasn't alone – she was there and everything was going to be okay. He had to know that.

She gentlely brushed her soft hand against Tony's stubbly cheek and softly spoke, "Hey, Mister. Abby's here. I'm here."

The ventilator whistled in response.

"Hey, McGee collected your mail at work and brought the June issue of GSM. I think it has a couple good articles." In a rare moment, Abby felt herself blushing as she flipped through the risqué magazine. "It has a firefighter spread that's, well, hot." She turned a couple more pages before setting the magazine down.

The heart monitor kept its pace.

"Tony. Remember what we talked about after the Mosbacher case? You're not like that kid. You aren't completely alone. There's Ducky, Gibbs, Kate, and me. Oh and McGee. Even though he hasn't said anything, he came to see you. I know your dad left you by yourself a lot when you were growing up, but we're here now. We're family and we're not going to let you go, so you better not, T."

Abby felt the hot tears once again fill her eyes as the weight of everything came crashing down. She just wanted Tony to wake up and tell her everything was going to be okay – that he was going to be okay.

The forensic scientist wiped her tears and bravely smiled as she saw Ducky in the doorway, "I'm going to let Ducky talk to you now. I think he has some stories for you. Gibbs'll be back before you know it."

The two hugged as a means of passing the baton.


Gibbs walked the hallways trying to stay moving, however, he looked like a lion on the prowl waiting for the next unsuspecting stranger to be the next victim of his frustration, his anger, his desperation. The hospital patrons could clearly see how distraught the silver-haired man was, but kept their distance. Perhaps it wasn't their business.

On his fifth time around on his self-made path, the lead agent realized something. It wasn't helping. He could pace all day, but it didn't help Tony nor did it help him to walk. He hadn't cleared his head; it seemed to be more cluttered than before. Determined to move on to another task, he returned to the lonely occupied waiting room. He eased his aching body into the chair closest to Kate and sat for a moment, but almost immediately stood up and began pacing again – the lack of movement driving him up and on his feet once more.

Ducky entered the room and found that the entire team was staring at their leader as well, each of them deeply concerned but unsure what they could do to help. After several minutes of pacing passed, Gibbs abruptly stopped midstride and ran both hands roughly through his hair.

Seeing the lack of movement as his opportunity, the medical examiner spoke, "Jethro."

"Ducky…All this waiting…" Gibbs said.

"Jethro, my dear friend, you need a break. You've been here for Anthony from the start of this nightmare. Why don't you take some time? Go home, shower, drink some decent coffee. I know you find it frustrating to be left waiting idly for news."

Gibbs paused slightly and thought about the offer. Then he nodded. "You'll call if…"

"I will call if something happens or if we hear from the doctor. Take some time, Jethro." Ducky reassured his friend.

Gibbs nodded once more. "I'll be back," he said. "Soon."


As Gibbs steered out of the hospital parking turning left instead of going to the right toward his familiar Craftsman home. It was the same direction he'd come from by ambulance three days prior. He wanted to go to Tony's apartment.

The closer he got the worse he felt. Once he got into DiNozzo's building and began climbing the stairs up to the third floor, his gut had the same feeling it had nights before when he had found his friend lying in a large pool of crimson blood. Seeing that there was no crime scene tape sealing the door, he slid his well worn key easily into the slot and turned. The door creaked opened, having been repaired from the break in. Upon entering the near empty apartment, the overwhelming smell of bleach and other cleaning agents assaulted Gibbs' nose. Crime scene clean up had already been there. For once Metro made quick work of the physical case and had released the scene.

Looking around the bare living room Gibbs tried to set the scene, figure out what happened, find out what his agent was doing. He walked over to the bookcase that shelved so many of the beloved movies Tony often quoted during the most inappropriate times. It seemed like everything reminded him of a movie. Only a few movies out of the massive collection remained. The weary man's hand landed on the small discreet safe that typically housed his Senior Field Agent's firearm. Lifting it up slightly, Gibbs felt the extra weight. It was there. Puzzle pieces shifted into place. Why Tony hadn't be able to fight back. He'd seen Tony quickly stow his Sig away upon coming home many times. As he twisted the numbered dial, he cursed. Safety. He snorted slightly and backed away from the bookcase and walked over to the tidy breakfast bar.

Gibbs frowned deeply as he stared at the flashing answering machine light. Fourteen messages. He blew out a heavy sigh between pursed lips and punched the button.

BEEP

"Special Agent DiNozzo, this is Stacy from Dispatch, DC Metro has arrested Petty Officer Gregory Suarez and will be bringing him into the Navy Yard. The case is back to active status. We also have a call into Agent Gibbs."

BEEP

"Rule Number Three mean anything to you, Special Agent DiNozzo?"

The next three messages were a series of hang ups. The clicking dial tones hit Gibbs like a slap in the face. Why had he not checked on Tony the first time he did not answer?

BEEP

"Tony, it's Balboa. You home, man? Just wanted to give you a heads up….Gibbs is pissed you haven't shown up yet. See ya soon."

BEEP

"Tony, Gibbs & I are heading out to interview Mrs. Suarez again. 4822 Northwest Cherry Lane. Meet us there. Gibbs is living up to the second 'B.' You might want to check in. Okay? Bye."

BEEP

"Thirty-five minutes, DiNozzo. Do I need another Senior Field Agent?" Click.

Unable to listen to the remaining messages, Gibbs pressed the round button labeled 'STOP' and sank down the wall until he was seated on the plush carpet.

He had failed Tony – as a boss and as a friend.

He rested his elbows on his creaky knees and ran a rough hand up and down his face. Gibbs took a deep shaky breath and exhaled slowly.

The former marine sat there for a long time. The afternoon sun had started to sink below the horizon and he was left in a dimly lit empty apartment that mirrored the vacancy in his soul.

It was simple, he had failed.

Tony was going to die and there was nothing he could do. Death was an enemy he could never defeat. It was always prevail in the end.

He couldn't blame Tony. DiNozzo was fighting as hard as his weakened body could, but maybe it was not enough – it would never be enough. Should his agent want to live through this? Gibbs knew the truth of it – the scars of Tony's childhood has set the man up for a lifetime of feelings of unworthiness and loneliness. Though he rarely showed it whether DiNozzo knew he did at all, Gibbs knew he had been made to think that he was unwanted and unlovable. Why would Tony want to live if he felt that way?

Perhaps it didn't matter that Tony had a family now. It didn't matter that Gibbs loved Tony as the son he never had. Nor did it matter that Abby had found the best friend that felt more like a brother – someone who loved the unique scientist as no one else could. It didn't matter that Ducky saw himself as the surrogate grandfather for the young fellow. Or that Kate didn't really mind the little squabbles because she already felt like part of the family after a couple months on the team. It didn't matter that McGee wanted to be a better agent because of what the annoying agent had shown him in the field. Why did it matter when Tony didn't see it?

The hopeless thoughts came like buckets of cold water slamming into Gibbs. More and more until he couldn't breathe. Until he'd had enough. Finally the agent pounded his closed fist into the carpet.

And there it was….

RING. Gibbs cell phone trilled and the display read "Dr. Mallard." Ducky. Oh God, Gibbs thought, this could be the moment they all had been dreading.

"Gibbs." All the trace of his anguish vanished.

"Jethro, our young man has turned a corner. He's vitals are up and he's a bit more responsive to stimuli. There's even signs Anthony is trying to breathe a little on his own against the ventilator. Jethro, all hope is not lost. Anthony's starting to rally again." Ducky's voice was full of hope.

Gibbs didn't know what to say – how to respond.

"Jethro?" the medical examiner asked.

"Yeah, I'm on my way," came the reply as Gibbs pulled himself up and made his way to the apartment door.

As he reached his car, the stern boss allowed himself as small smile.

Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo had revealed his cards.


A/N 2: Thank you all for the reviews, alerts, and PMs. It makes my day brighter every time my email chimes with new messages. Thanks for everyone who messaged me to check up on me, I tried to reply to every message, but may have missed one or two – regardless I really appreciate it.

I wanted to let all of you know that the next chapter might take me a little while to be ready to post. In the past few months or so, my family has been going through a couple serious situations that require me to be away from my home (and computer). These situations do not lend themselves to be ones that I can have free time away loved ones, so finding any time to write has been extremely difficult. I am not abandoning Unreachable - there are still many things that need to occur before the end & besides I really think Tony and Gibbs should talk, don't you? As soon as I can I would love to be able get the next bits up, but please be a little patient with me. Writers have lives off the internet & mine is kicking my butt right now.

Hope you all have enjoyed the ride so far & will stick with me to see it through! Please let me know what you think! And once again…thank you so much for reading!