Addison had been allowing her problem to eat at her for three days now. For three very long days she had barely slept (not by choice—she'd much rather just sleep and not have to think about it), and eating had become a bit difficult as well. She didn't walk as purposefully or speak as articulately as before. Her appearance, even, was becoming sloppy. Overall, Addison was a train wreck. And that simply would not do.

She decided before coming to work that she was going to have to tell someone or she might bust. The knowledge of the fact was simply too much for her to bear on her shoulders alone. So she arranged a meeting with Richard—he was her mentor, her boss… most of all he was her friend, and was always there to listen.

She knocked on his door at ten-thirty and he called for her to come in. She didn't wait for him to ask her to have a seat; she simply sat in one of the chairs facing his desk. Richard was in his chair on the opposite side, peering at her over his spectacles. Characteristically, the tips of his fingers were placed together thoughtfully. He didn't speak; he appeared to want her to make the first move.

She didn't.

"Addison, if you're going to take up my time like this you have to have something to tell me."

She sighed. She knew she wanted to tell him the truth—all of it, but that required a game plan, and she didn't have one. Why didn't she have one? Addison always had a carefully made out plan. She realized that was another Very Bad Thing she could add to her progressively lengthening list.

"Yeah," she said slowly, buying time as she wondered how to tell him. "I know. I'm sorry. I don't mean to waste your time, Richard…"

He shrugged but didn't break eye contact. "You're not wasting my time, Addie, but if you don't tell me why you're here…"

"I'm pregnant," she blurted. Her mouth dropped slightly and her eyes widened somewhat. That was definitely not intentional.

Richard's eyebrows shot up but other than that his expression remained unchanged. "Ah." He leaned back in his chair, resting his head against the top. "Derek's, I assume?"

She hung her head, shaking it slowly in confusion. "I … I don't know," she confessed in a small voice.

He made a strange sound in the back of his throat. "Just … from curiosity, what do you mean, 'you don't know?'"

She lowered her eyes, sighing. "I slept with—I've been sleeping with … Mark Sloan." She said his name in a rush, not really wanting to admit it.

"Sloan? While you and Derek were…?"

She looked up at him, disgusted. "No! Ugh. Of course not. I learn from my mistakes, Richard. And he was in New York at the time, but … still." She hesitated, gnawing at her lip. "No, I didn't … with Mark, not until Derek and … his intern." She couldn't bring herself to say her name. She was above her name, even if acting in such a manner was immature.

Addison watched as her mentor's face fell. "Does Derek know? About your … condition?" His tone was gentle, gentler than she ever remembered it being, even when she told him about Derek leaving her in New York.

"It might not be his," she said pointedly.

He shrugged. "It might be. What about Sloan?"

"No. No one knows but you and me." A frown crept across her face and her hands fell into her lap. She was well aware of how pathetic she looked. "What do I do?" Her voice cracked and almost broke.

Richard sighed. "Addie, I told you a long time ago that you could come to me for anything, work-related or otherwise. And you have. So far there have been few problems I haven't been able to help you through. In light of that," he paused, "I want you to consider what I'm about to tell you."

Addison rolled her eyes, frustration beginning to get the better of her. "Please, Richard, just tell me."

He didn't waste any time in doing so, appearing to not want to beat around the bush. "Tell him. Tell Derek."

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Because it might be his."

"It might be Mark's, are you suggesting I tell him too?"

"Yes."

She threw up her hands, overwrought and perplexed at her situation. "Do you know Mark? At all? He's not exactly material for Father of the Year."

Richard sent her a calm, sympathetic look that she would have resented from anyone else but him. "Addie, one of those men is the father of your child. Surely you wouldn't hold that information from them?"

Addison shook her head, despondence and ambiguity evident on her features. She didn't know what she was going to do. Honestly, she didn't want to think about it, but she couldn't do that. This wasn't the same as her marriage, where if she just pretended everything was okay, it would be. No, pregnancy took a little more notice and sense of reality than that.

"I don't know, Richard. But, ah, thanks. For just … letting me talk."

"Wait," he said as they both stood, he shoving his hands in his pockets. "I thought you were with Sloan."

"Not anymore. Well, mostly." She bit her lip. "I'm not sure what we are."

Richard tilted his head to the side, tryin to show that he found that acceptable, but Addison could tell that he still wanted her to work things out with Derek. She also knew he didn't like Mark much, even if—

"Why did you allow Mark to sign on?"

His eyes bulged somewhat, but he recovered quickly, removing his glasses and sitting on the edge of his desk. "I think," he replied slowly, not meeting her gaze, "you should ask him about that."

"Richard…"

"That's all you get. I've got a surgery scheduled in half an hour."

She was not sure if he was earnest, or if he was just trying to get rid of her. Either way, she bid him goodbye and left his office.

"Nathalie," said Addison, putting on her bright façade. She laid the chart down on the counter. "I hear you're pregnant again. Congratulations."

The young girl shook her head, and Addison noticed that there were tears threatening her bright eyes. "No…" she whispered sadly, "my mother's going to kill me. She didn't find out about Zachary because I was staying with my dad and I put him up for adoption right after he was born. But this one?" She scrubbed her hands down her face. "She'll find out. And she will kill me."

Addison smiled understandingly. "She won't kill you; she's your mother. And she cares about you, Nathalie, that's why she gives you a hard time. She just doesn't want to see you mess up."

"No, Dr. Shepherd, she just doesn't want to see me happy. I want kids."

"What about Brendan?" Addison asked, referring to the eighteen-year-old's fiancé and the father of her first baby three years earlier. Addison knew them well; Nathalie had a lot of medical problems and Addison had been her surgeon for most of her life. In fact, Nathalie had flown to Seattle for "college tours" just to see her. "Are you guys still together?"

"Yeah…" she said, her tone suggesting that there was more to it than she let on. "But he doesn't know about the baby. He thinks I've come to tour the University of Washington." She smiled a little.

"You've not told him?"

"No. He really wanted to keep Zachary. We broke up for almost a month because of it. I just don't know how to put him through that again."

Addison nodded sympathetically. Then she frowned. What, was God trying to tell her something? She knew she should see an OB; that would tell her how far along she was, and thereby who fathered the child she was carrying. But she couldn't do it. She found that she didn't want to know. The outlook wasn't bright either way, and so she wasn't ready to face the reality. She knew that if it turned out to be Mark's, she'd wish it was Derek's—and vice versa.

"Doctor Shepherd?" said Nathalie, smiling softly as Addison was snapped from her reverie.

She quickly apologized and grabbed the girl's chart. "Now, let's get down to business…"

Addison couldn't have been happier when she buttoned the last button on her top in the locker room. She smiled at her reflection, pulling a comb from her large purse and running it quickly through her hair. She had promised to meet Mark for dinner. That was a start, perhaps a step in the right direction. No sex, just dinner. This wasn't a relationship—that was definitely not what she wanted from him right now. This was going to be a friendship. A good, healthy friendship like they had had before everything became muddled and twisted.

She exited the lounge and made her way to the parking lot, happy for the first time in a long time. So what if the happiness was—for the most part—a veneer? It was happiness nonetheless, and she was fine settling for as much.

She spotted Mark's sleek red sports car, sticking out like a sore thumb against the professional-looking sedans of the rest of the faculty. She saw the door to the driver's side was open and he was leaned against it casually, talking to someone too short to see over the vehicle. Addison's brow knitted in curiosity and she approached, somewhat warily, behind him from the passenger's side so he couldn't see her.

"…yeah?" she heard him say, arrogance and charm dripping from only the one word. "You and Derek? Really? I thought you were together all this time."

Addison's eyes narrowed instinctively as he realized who he must be talking to. She wanted to drag him away, but she was too proud for that—and she also wanted to hear what all they had to say to one another.

"No… He needs 'space' apparently." She could hear a more positive, joking tone in her voice though she still could not see Meredith herself. "You and Addison must have really done a number on him."

Addison smirked to herself, adjusting her purse on her shoulder. She didn't feel bad for Derek or Meredith, though she knew she probably should have. He still didn't know she had stayed with Mark in New York, and they weren't divorced. Perhaps he still had feelings for her after all…

She shook the thought from her head. No. Even if that was true, she didn't need Derek. No matter how his feelings were toward her, she didn't need his constant stream of lies and faux bliss.

"Oh yeah. Sorry 'bout that," he said, and Addison could again hear a smile. "Derek's … he's damaged too. I know that's hard to believe because he's 'McDreamy' or whatever it is you kids call him, but he's broken. Give him time, he'll come around."

"You think so?" She could tell that Meredith wasn't quite ready to put all her faith in him.

"I do," he replied gravely. "I've known Derek all my life, don't worry. You're too good a deal to pass up." His tone lightened substantially with the last line. Addison could have sworn he was—

"Are you flirting with me?"

—flirting with her.

She saw him cross his arms over his chest, which he had puffed out in an attempt to entice her. Usually that worked for him. And Meredith wasn't exactly the chastest of women. Addison felt something in the vein of jealousy uncoil inside her stomach.

"I might be." His voice oozed the obvious that affirmed what both Addison and Meredith had suspected.

She couldn't take it anymore. The grin he wore on his face was angering her. She made her way to the other side of the car. Mark glanced across the top of it at her, looking a little surprised.

"Addison," he said mildly.

"Mark?" She tried to mimic his tone, and did so perfectly. "Dr. Grey." She offered a curt nod.

Meredith said she had to be going and offered both senior physicians a nervous smile before crossing the parking lot. Mark glanced at Addison, obviously bracing for the worst.

"What was that about?" she asked calmly, sliding into the passenger's seat.

"We were talking." He got in as well, but didn't move to leave the hospital.

"Talking. Right, Mark. You know, the last time you talked to her? Do you remember that? You ended up bleeding on the floor."

"It was innocent, Addie."

She glared over at him, but he was concentrating on the windshield. "Don't lie to me, Mark. I know how you are, and I know you're going to flirt—but don't lie to me."

"I'm sorry," he said flatly.

"It doesn't matter. It's not like we're in a relationship anyway."

There was a moment of silence before he finally grinned slightly and put the car in gear. "We still on for dinner?"

She couldn't help but smile at his sudden change in demeanor. "Of course. You don't expect me to pass up food when it's you buying, do you?"

"There's my Addie."

A/N: So that was pretty long. Really, like the longest chapter of this series so far by about 700 words. Pretty cool, huh? That's my treat for my terrible lack of updating. Sorry 'bout that! But ya know what I like? I like opening my e-mail and seeing review alerts. That's really very awesome.