Thank you for the reviews! To answer someones question, yes they were together before she even met Adam! Enjoy!

Toby's POV

2 months later…

I hadn't heard from or seen Spencer, in two months. I was trying to not let it bother me, but it was. I was wondering what she had been up to. Was she spending her days in bed crying? Was she working a ton of hours trying to make up for the time she took off? Was she out looking for someone to date? Did she ever think about me? Millions of questions ran through my head daily. I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was my wife after all, I hadn't stopped thinking about her since I met her.

"Cavanaugh," Katherine peeked her head into my office. "Room N409, they need you."

"Ok," I stand up. "I'll be there in a second." I shoved my paperwork in my file cabinet and then headed down the hallway.

I lightly knocked on the door before opening it up. "What are you doing here?" I smiled.

"I thought it was time I come see you," she smiled back. "Plus I think I might be coming down with something," her voice sounded scratchy.

I sat down in front of her. I felt her throat for any swelling. "Open," I commanded.

I checked her throat, and then listened to her heart and her lungs. "I think you just have a normal cold."

"I figured," she cleared her throat. "I mainly came to see you. The rest was just a bonus."

I couldn't help but smile. "Are you here to tell me you want a divorce?" I joked.

"No," she smiled. "But we do need to talk about that."

"I agree," I nodded. "What are you doing for lunch?"

"Want to go to that new place across the street?" She asked.

"I would love to," I looked at my watch. "Give me twenty minutes. I'll meet you at the South entrance."


Spencer's POV

We sat making small talk, not really getting to the big stuff. "So…" I started after I swallowed a bite of my food. "Are we going to talk about…" I didn't really know how to finish that sentence.

"Our marriage?" He finished for me.

"Yeah," I bit my lip nervously.

"Well the ball is in your court," he gestured towards me.

"That's not fair," I frowned.

"Why not?" he laughed at me.

"Because… How do you know you still want to be with me? I'm probably not the same person you once thought I was."

"Oh you are very much the same," he smiled. "You are still very stubborn. You like to fight with me. Your right eye still twitches when you're mad at me. And you still roll your eyes at me when you know I'm right."

"Gee, I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to date me," I say sarcastically.

"You also still blush when I compliment you. You still bite your bottom lip when you are nervous. You are still extremely beautiful. And you are still an amazing kisser," he smiles.

"Ok so maybe it's easy for you… But for me. I don't remember anything about you. I feel like you know me so well and I don't know much of anything about you. It's like our heads and our hearts are in completely different places right now," I sighed.

"I know," his smile suddenly faded.

"That doesn't mean that I don't care about you or that I don't want to be with you someday. It's just really hard for me to deal with this," I tried to get him to understand.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"You have nothing to be sorry about," I reached for his hand. "You've been nothing but patient with me."

"But I'm not making it easy for you," he frowned.

I just silently kept holding his hand. "What were we like when we were together?"

He stood up after he laid down cash to pay for our meal. He extended his hand, "I'll show you."


We walked back into his office. "What are you showing me?" I asked curious.

He searched through a bunch of files on his computer. He found the file that was named Spencer. When he opened it up, a bunch of videos popped up. "I haven't really watched these since I thought you were dead. I thought one day I'd have the courage to watch them."

He scooted over so we could share his chair. "There are so many," my eyes widened.

"I don't know why I videoed us so much. But now… I think it was fate. Like one day I would need them," He scrolled to the top. "Pick one."

"Ok," I smiled. I pointed to the fourth one in. My favorite number. "That one."

"Ok," he smiled and took a deep nervous breath. He clicked on the video. Immediately my face popped up. We were giggling and playfully arguing. I kept telling him to stop filming me, but he didn't stop. Eventually he set the camera down and walked over to me. We were at the beach, both of us in our swimsuits. He dragged me kicking and screaming into the water. Soon we were too far to hear what we were saying. After I ran to shore it looked like I was upset with him. I was visibly yelling at him. There was a couple times I hit him in the chest. But he kept smiling at me. Eventually he pulled me in for a kiss. It seemed like I was over being mad at him, because I jumped up on him and started making out with him. After a while the video went black.

I didn't realize I had tears in my eyes until I felt his thumb wipe it away. "Did I make you upset?"

"No, not at all," I shook my head. "It's nice to finally get some answers to my past that I could never figure out. Can we watch another one?"

"If you want," he rubbed my back.

"I do," I nodded.

"Alright, pick another one," he prompted me.

I randomly selected one further down.

By now we had watched about six or seven. Some were really sweet. I felt like I was watching a couple from a movie. We fought in a few as well. Some of the arguments were laugh worthy, but others were intense. "We did fight a lot. Why is that?"

"I don't know?" He shrugged. "But it never worried me because we loved each other so much . I knew nothing could ever come between us. Until…"

"Yeah," I whispered. "One more?" I smiled at him.

"Sure," he laughed.

The next one was very casual. To any one else watching it, it might seem boring. But it was fascinating to see us as a couple on a normal day. We were sitting on a couch talking about nothing important. Occasionally we would laugh. But the part that caught my attention was the way we would look at each other. And we were always touching. Whether it was playing with each others hands, or my legs stretched across his lap. He would absentmindedly play with my curls, and I would draw patterns on his t-shirt. Then we were suddenly making out. I wasn't uncomfortable anymore, it was almost in every video. But as it went on we didn't pull away. I laid on top of him as his hands roamed my body. Before I could even blink my shirt was off and his hands were heading for my pants. Toby fumbled for the mouse and tried hitting pause before it got any further.

"Umm…" I blushed.

"Sorry about that," he mumbled.

"Did you know you had that?" I asked.

"Like I said… I haven't been able to watch them. Why?" His face reddened.

"It's a sex tape!" My voice went up ten octaves. "How many are there?"

"I don't know, we were married!" He defended himself.

I stopped for a second. "We were married in this video?"

"Not this one," he shook head. "All these videos are before we even got engaged."

"So… Did I loose my virginity to you?" I always wondered who it was.

"Yes," he assured me. "I have to finish up my rounds."

"Do… you mind if I watch some more by myself, while you finish up?" I asked.

He hesitated for a while. "Fine, but you have to watch them in order."

"Why?" I was curious.

"Because I want to be there when you see the proposal," he smiled.

"Wha-" I was at a loss for words. "You have that on video?"

"Yes, now I really have to go." He quickly grabbed his clipboard and left.

I watched about ten more videos as he was gone. Some of them had me laughing so hard I was gasping for air. Some had me crying, hearing him profess his love to me. And hearing how much I loved him… it made me wish I could remember that feeling. I looked so happy and in love. And watching these videos made me fall in love with… us. I got to another video where we were ripping each others clothes off. At first I quickly searched for the skip button, but there was a part of me that was curious. I don't know what about? But I was. Surprisingly I wasn't uncomfortable. I was amazed to see his shirt off. I had already seen him shirtless in the beach pictures, but for some reason it looked better in this video. I'll admit it was a little weird to see me naked. I still try to avoid looking at myself in the mirror naked. Once I peeled off all his clothing my eyes widened. I was not expecting that. I suddenly felt wrong looking at him like that without his permission… But that seemed silly, he already knows the old me has seen him naked. And he's seen me naked so it only seemed fair… No. I need to stop. Before I knew it I watched him enter me… Boy that was strange. Not in a bad way, it was just odd to see myself yet not remember any of it. I skipped it as soon as I heard voices outside his door. It sounded like him and Katherine.

He opened the door, "I'm all done." He smiled at me.

"Good," I smiled back.

"How are the videos?" He asked.

"It's different and weird… I feel like I'm watching a movie. You know when you are so invested in a couple, that you can't get enough of them? It's just strange that the couple is you and me."

"For me it wasn't a movie. It was very real," his eyes were filled with sadness.

"I'm sorry," I say sincerely. "I wish I could remember."

He just gave me a weak smile. "Well I should get home."

"Can we just watch one more together?" I plead.

He comes to sit by me, "sure."

I scroll down and click on a random video. It started out with my back facing the camera. You could see Toby.
Suddenly Toby quickly stopped it.

"Why'd you do that?" I glared at him.

"Because," he couldn't find his words.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's just another… sex tape." He looks away.

I grab his chin and pull it towards me, forcing him to look at me. "Why are you lying to me?"

"I'm not," his eyes are still avoiding mine.

"You're lying to me. What is it? You can tell me," I beg him.

He grabs my hand and pulls it off his face. "I can't watch these anymore."

I stare at him. I guess I never took in consideration how he was feeling. Was I just ripping out his heart, making him watch his past?

"It hurts too much," his eyes got glossy.

"Toby…" I reach to touch his face again. "I'm sorry." I really wish I could get the old Spencer back for him.

He touched my hand and leaned into my hand with his cheek. He closed his eyes and sighed. He looked so sad. I wanted to make his pain go away. I leaned in and gently touched my lips to his. His lips were like a drug. Once you had a taste of them you never wanted to stop. My tongue slid into his mouth without hesitation. I wanted this. I wanted him.

He bit my bottom lip and I moaned. My hands were fumbling with the buttons on his shirt.

"Spence," he pulled away. "Stop…"

I pulled away in confusion. I thought he wanted me.

"You are still upset about Adam…" he reminded me.

"Adam?" I glare at him. "This isn't about Adam!" I started to feel angry. "Let's be real Toby. What I'm feeling has nothing to do with Adam… From the moment I saw you at the hospital I felt something. I tried denying it for so long, but I can't anymore. And now you're pushing me away!" I could feel the angry tears fill my eyes.

"What am I supposed to do Spence? What am I supposed to think! Your fiancée just died two months ago. And you are here watching videos of us, yet you can't remember any of it! Am I supposed to have my way with you right here, right now? While you're still clearly not over Adam! Well I'm sorry Spence… But I don't know what I'm supposed to do." He searched in my eyes, like he was looking for the answers.

I couldn't help but smile.

"Why are you smiling?" he looked confused.

"You were right," I shook my head. "We do fight a lot. But I don't worry about it. Because it doesn't change how I feel about you."

He looked down still sadness in his eyes.

"Why are you so sad?" I placed my hands on the sides of his face.

"I want you to love me," he sighed. "But what I think I want is for it to go back to how it was… But it can't." He got up and walked out before I could even stop him.

A/N: What are you guys thinking? Do you think Spencer is over Adam? Do you think she really loves Toby? Any questions or suggestions are appreciated.