"What?" Kíli exclaimed "Of course he doesn't hate you, neither is he disappointed or ashamed. He just doesn't want to hurt you"
"He also never talks to me. Only to you. He barely even looks at me." Despite the topic Kíli was kind of delighted his brother was speaking in whole sentences.
"I'm sure there's another reason for that. Probably he just can't believe you're actually back"
"Do you?"
"Of course, the only thing I can't believe is our luck that you're still alive"
"Luck? Rather misfortune"
"I'm sorry I didn't consider that."
"Neither did any of you consider rescuing me"
"Actually I was about to go after you, but I was stopped"
"There you see. Thorin didn't want to have me back. Probably he'd rather I died, then I wouldn't be such a disgrace"
"What are you talking about? Uncle would never think that. With due respect, Fíli, you are no disgrace. Look what you've survived."
"Unfortunately" For a while Kíli didn't know what to say.
"I assure you, it will get better. Maybe if you would distract yourself it would help. But I've already said that many times"
"And do what?"
"Well I don't know…We could carve something, I could get you pen and paper and you could draw, or write something. Or you could read a book. If you want we can also talk together. And this are only things you can do while you're in bed. So what do you say?"
"Don't know. I don't feel like"
"Then tell me what you would like to do? Should I bring you your weapons that you can clean them?"
"No" the blonde exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, I didn't want to creep you out."
"You couldn't know"
"Is this also the reason you don't want to train?"
"Please just stop talking about that"
"I'm sorry. Why don't we go and visit Dwalin? Or should I get him here?"
"I don't know. I'd rather stay"
"So I'll search Dwalin?" Fíli shook his head.
"No… I-I don't want to be alone. To many memories" The brunette couldn't help, but sigh.
"And would you like to talk?"
"Why can't you just stop it?" Kíli flinched at his brother's harsh voice and became a bit angry, although he didn't want to acknowledge it to himself.
"Alright. I'll leave you alone" Without another word he left his brother's side and returned to his bedroll on the ground. After a while he's gotten bored for the first time in days. Probably because he had hoped his brother would finally agree to do something else than just sitting around.
When their mother entered the room to bring them their meal, she soon noticed, something had happened. Only after they finished eating, she wanted to know what it was.
"It's nothing." Kíli didn't want to get counselled by his mother, but to his surprise Fíli answered the question as well.
"Maybe I've made him angry"
"No of course you haven't… I should have stopped earlier. You were right"
"So what were you doing then?"
"Making propositions what we could undertake together. I know, I shouldn't have pushed him"
"Oh I'm sure you haven't. You've might as well been a bit impatient, as always" She turned to her eldest "If he should annoy you, just tell him, as you used to when you were younger. You know how pig-headed he can be, if he's determined to do something" For a moment it seemed, as if Fíli chuckled lightly, then he nodded. Before Dís left, Kíli stopped her and addressed himself to his brother.
"Fíli, if you want to see Dwalin or Balin, we could ask mother to search them. Only if you approve of it." This time the blonde shrugged.
"Dwalin" he simply said. "You can look for Dwalin" Somehow the younger prince was astounded that he agreed.
"That's a great idea, honey" Gently she patted Fílis shoulder and then went away to search Thorin's friend. Soon she had an idea where to find him and headed to the training halls. She was right and found him there with a couple of younger dwarves. Three of them were tackling the warrior, but stood no chance to defeat him. The youngest of them was the first to notice Dís and hesitated. Within a second he was on the ground and Dwalin snapped at him never to get distracted by anything. Because he had his back turned towards the princess, he didn't see her.
"Bu-but Mister Dwalin… Look there" The young dwarfling defended himself and pointed at Dís. Now Dwalin turned around and was more than astonished to see her here. In all those years had she only been in the training halls thrice.
"Keep fighting, I'll be back" He said and made his way towards Thorin's sister, wiping away some of the sweat on his forehead. "I suppose Thorin sends you, doesn't he?"
"His nephews actually. Fíli would like to see you" The warrior cocked a brow.
"That's… great I suppose… I'll…" When one of the dwarves emitted a cry, he spun around and went towards them. "Haven't I told you to take care of each other? And you, Khanar, how many times do I have to tell you not to wail at any such little cut or blow you receive?" Slowly he walked towards his pupils and stood with his hands on his hips. For some seconds he stared at them "Go home now, I've got other appointments" At this, all of the boys cheered, replaced their weapons and left the hall. Dís wondered that Dwalin didn't insist to finish the training, usually he did, even if Thorin came with an urgent problem he presumably wouldn't send the kids home. In a way, the princess felt honoured because of that. After a while in which they walked in silence, Dwalin wanted to know: "How's the lad doing?"
"I don't really know" she confessed. "He doesn't leave his bed, except if he has to and barely speaks. But his external injuries are almost healed. To be honest, I'm more than worried"
"He'll be fine. Don't worry too much." Sighing Dís nodded. When they entered Fíli's room, she wasn't surprised to see both her sons sitting on the bed, remaining silent. But it did startle her that the blonde almost jumped out of the bed as his uncle's friend came towards the bed and hugged him. Kíli shared an astonished look with his mother, but soon they smiled. "I'd have expected you to be in the training halls in two shakes of a lamb's tail. Something's definitely wrong" He joked and Kíli just wanted to tell him to be a bit more careful, as they saw and heard Fíli chuckle. Actually for the first time since he was back. And for the second time in few moments he managed it to surprise his family members. Now Dís made his way towards her younger son and whispered:
"If I had known that, I would've brought Dwalin earlier." Fíli was meanwhile asked how he felt, whereupon he shrugged. "Should I get us something to eat? I know, we just had lunch, but I thought you wouldn't mind having some cookies, Dwalin. Or how about some tea?" Everyone nodded and Dís headed off to the kitchen to get the things. Meanwhile, the three dwarves sat down and Dwalin started asking Fíli some questions. But now even he received only short answers, nevertheless Kíli thought that he said more than when he was talking to him. As much as he wanted to join in in their conversation, he decided against it, hoping Fíli would continue to talk more. Soon their mother came back with a tablet on which were four cups of tea and a plate with biscuits. Occasionally taking a cookie or a sip of the liquid, the four of them sat together, sometimes discussing on different topics. As far as the brunette could tell, his brother seemed to feel comfortable. At least until Thorin entered the room, then not only Kíli noticed how the blonde flinched. Suddenly the prince remembered what he and his brother were talking about that morning. If he should tell him what Fíli believed? On the other hand he didn't want to betray his brother's trust.
"I'm tired and would like to sleep" Fíli said, putting his half-full cup aside.
"Of course. We'll leave you alone, darling" Dís kissed his head, collected all the cups and when she left the room she also told the other two dwarfs to come with her. To the brothers' relief, also Thorin left the room. Smiling, the younger of them went to his bedroll.
"Good night. Sleep well"
"No. I won't sleep" Somehow this statement remembered Kíli of the one of a little child.
"Oh, I just thought because you said…"
"I wanted them to leave. Well Thorin" Understandingly he nodded.
"Alright." He waited a while before he carefully continued. "But you must bear in mind that uncle loves you. Maybe if you only would talk to him, he would tell you the same."
"Thorin has always been good at lying"
"And we were particularly good at finding out when he did so, weren't we?"
"We were. As you said."
"Do you want me to leave you alone? Just tell me" Now Kíli has started to notice when his brother rather had had silence.
"Don't know. Maybe not." With a smile the brunette asked:
"So then, what would you like to talk about? Or wait, I've got a better idea"
