I tried to make this longer to make up for my appalling absence. :) Thank you to all you reviewers, alerters, favouriters - you're the ones who make this story really happen! By the way, I just wrote a one-shot a couple of days ago. It's the one with the wacky French title, because I really couldn't think of something interesting to call it. Foreign languages always make things sound better than they actually are. Check it out. ;)

Also, a belated happy birthday to SucksRoyalHippogriff, who I seem to have missed mentioning last chapter!


Featured Reviews:

"Yay! La-dumping-of-the-rock. *victory dance* Is it too early to be pulling out the streamers and maracas? Er, I mean, ahem. Poor Rhiannon, what great emotional hardship this must be for her. Indeed. Cough. " - KelliniPenguini

"I hope you can keep up with your soon to be school work burial. Wouldn't want one of my favourite authors to die of school work overload. Also, that wouldn't look too good on your school's info page. 'Unfortunately, before you apply to our school, the administration feels the need to tell you one, of our former students died in an incident involving school work overload and gold fish. This however, does not need to influence your choice in applying to our school.' I had an involuntary impulse to add gold fish into your hypothetical unwanted death. Hmm... Maybe I should have added the colonization of demented death eaters, keen upon the eating of the human population's souls... " - LunaxNight


Chapter Seven – Hallucinations

I couldn't find James all day. Not the unruly black hair, nor that lazy but confident stance of his when he stood up from his seat. I tried to find Sirius, Remus and Peter because surely they would have some idea of his whereabouts, but even they seemed to make themselves scarce. I did happen to spot Peter on a couple of occasions, but he simply mumbled an unintelligible excuse and quickly walked away in the opposite direction.

Bloody coward.

It was nine o'clock now, and I was getting slightly worried. He hadn't shown up to any of his classes, and not even the Prefects Meeting that I'd just had. I never knew how much of a pain it was not having James Potter to roar his irritated, "Shut up! I want to get out of this room quickly," to all those giggling Fifth Years every few moments. I had always been grateful for his shameless snappish presence during these meetings, but never more so than now.

Of course, it had always bothered me that he always said it so genuinely – as if he actually meant it – because he had some date with Rhiannon at the Astronomy Tower, or something of the sorts.

Yes, that's right. Woe is me. But, back to Rhiannon…

Ugh. My brain must've been playing tricks on me. Maybe James didn't say that he broke up with her. Perhaps he said that he "joked with her" or "boated up with her", if that even makes any sense. I mean, there's just no reason for him to disappear like this! Rhiannon looked absolutely horrid this lunchtime; I really hope she's okay. I was so deep in my desperation that I contemplated briefly walking down the Hall to ask her whether she knew where James was. Of course, me being the incredibly intelligent girl I am, I soon realised that this was in fact a stupid idea because she'd just end up figuring out that I liked him. Or rather, that I liked him.

Or RATHER, that I liked him now but was about to embark on a life-changing journey of falling in 'like' (love, sadly, is rather impossible) with Remus via the cutting off of our study commitments, beginning from today.

Ironically enough, just as I was thinking this on my stroll towards the Common Room, I spotted the very aforementioned Remus Lupin's sandy blonde head turn a corner at the next corridor.

Score.

"Hey, REMUS!" I yelled out, cupping my hands over my mouth to amplify my voice.

Ha. Little bugger had no choice but to stop.

Remus looked slightly troubled as he turned around to face me, but then again, it was probably a ploy to run away from me again. His eyes darted back to corridor he had been heading down, and then back to me. He scratched the back of his neck and said uncomfortably, "Uh, hey Lily."

I did a strange half-walk-half-jog towards him, smiling. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing much. Listen, I really have to go."

"I just wanted to ask you something," I said. "I was wondering if you knew whether—"

"I told you, I haven't any clue where he is," said Remus in an exasperated tone.

I stared at him. "I was wondering," I repeated shortly, "if you knew whether or not that Potions essay was due tomorrow morning or not."

Now he looked sheepish. Served him right. "Oh. Uh, yes it is."

"Thank you," I said with another wide (and hopefully man-eating) smile. He looked a little confused by this. I blinked very quickly in a way that could be mistaken for batting eyelashes.

This time, Remus' brows shot up in an absurd bewilderment. "Lily, are you – are you okay?"

More eyelash batting. "Why, I certainly am. Thank you for asking."

"Have you got something caught in your eye?"

"No, I indeed have not."

"Have you, uh, not finished the essay yet? Because there's still time enough for us to head down to the library if you want—"

"No," I broke in pleasantly. "No, I don't think we need to spend any more time in the library than is really utterly necessary."

"Okay then," said Remus, nodding. His eyes drifted down the corridor again, and an awkward silence ensued between us.

I avoided his gaze as I asked my next question. "So," I said casually. "Did you happen to catch James after dinner?"


Screw this. Screw this, screw me, screw that, because I am totally SICK of everything now. (Actually, don't screw me because that'd be rather disgusting. But that's not my point.)

Flirting sucks. It doesn't get you ANYWHERE, unless you're Emmeline or some nice girl that everybody loves, like Rhiannon deLoreche. My attempted flirting landed me standing alone in a corridor away from the Gryffindor Common Room, staring at Remus Lupin's back as he rushed off again after making yet another unintelligible excuse to leave. I just couldn't believe that I was putting so much effort into finding one rudding boy – and more importantly, that it was proving so hard to achieve.

Come on. James couldn't be trying to play THAT hard to get.

"For Heaven's sake, Lily, you've really got to stop drifting off on me like that!" came Alice's annoyed voice in front of me.

I may have just forgotten that I was engaged in an 'interesting' conversation on my bed with one of my best mates. Or was supposed to be, anyway. Psh – what can I say? Gossipers bore me. "Sorry," I sighed, turning my head to meet her expectant face. "What was that again?"

She rolled her eyes and huffed in aggravation. "Are you seriously so daft that I have to retell all of it to you?" she snapped.

Thank you very much, Alice. Thank you.

"No, feel free not to. To be honest, I'd be rather glad if you didn't."

"Really, now?"

"Yes, my darling Alice of whom I cherish ever so much."

"Well, my darling Lily of whom I cherish ever so much, what I was talking about involves James, you know."

"WHAT?" I blurted out, eyes widening in shock. Then, realising what a carrot-head I must've made myself look like, I repeated in a more indifferent tone, "I mean, what? Remus, did you say?"

She cocked an eyebrow at me, as if she could see through my cover-up easily. "No. James."

I swallowed at unease. "Really? I could've sworn that you said Remus' name."

"Oh Merlin," Alice muttered. "This could take a long while."

I had no idea what she was talking about. She was almost implying that I was – gasp! – dumb and slow. Now, if that isn't disrespect and abuse at its finest, I don't know what is.

I straightened up and adjusted on my spot on the bed. Tucking some hair behind one hair, I ran a tongue over my lips. "So, what were you saying about James again?"

Just so you don't get any wrong ideas – I ran my tongue over my lips because they were DRY, not because I was fantasising about James. I could never be that blatant or obvious. Honestly, I don't know how anybody could've reached such a conclusion. Except with Remus of course, of whom I soon (if everything goes to plan) will not be able to control my desire for anywhere or anytime around the castle. Actually, that might get a little embarrassing. Can you imagine me pouncing on top of him and grabbing his face in for a passionate kiss during Transfiguration class? Oh, the look on Professor McGonagall's face!

Oh dear. Kissing Remus – mental images – gross. I mean, how so ever enticing…

I really do wonder why everybody has such low opinions of me sometimes.

Alice's voice broke me out of my thoughts. "James," she said. "He was looking for you today."

Um, what?

"Yeah, right," I scoffed. "Who told you that?"

"The very man himself."

I glared at her, all Remus thoughts aside. "Where did you find him?"

I think I sounded quite angry, and I've heard that my green-eyed glare and sharp accusatory tone could send many running away in terror. Well, not terror. Nervousness, perhaps.

Hm, did I just say 'running away in terror'? Sounds just like Remus a few moments before, except I wasn't even trying to scare him off then. Maybe my natural state just frightens people. Well, isn't that just lovely to discover. Come to think of it, so many people – especially those little First and Second Year children – run away from me when I'm being overly nice or overly angry. They just do it so subtly that I don't ever realise.

Resolution: Do not act out extreme emotions.

There's just one person, who popped into my mind, that never tries to run away from me if I'm in an extreme mood – and that's James.

Resolution Two: Act out ordinary emotions towards James Potter.

Oh, James. Why must you be so bloody perfect? Guys like you aren't supposed to EXIST. You can't be good-looking, smart and charismatic all at the same time. That defies all laws of humanity. People like that are only ever present in books, and maybe sometimes movies. But real life – real life…

Gosh, no wonder the female population of Hogwarts is so dead in love with the Marauders-minus-Peter. Though honestly, I could never see what was so attractive about Sirius.

"I found him," said Alice through gritted teeth, jolting me out of my daydream again, "in the Hospital Wing. He was looking for you but then he sprained his ankle on his way to lunch."

"He went to the Hospital Wing because he sprained his ankle?" I said dubiously.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes."

I really do wish my friends would stop rolling their eyes at me. It is really ever so rude.

"How do you know all of this?"

"Because I was the one who helped him up after falling down. His ankle was really bad, actually. He had to practically lean on me entirely to get up the stairs."

A wave of jealousy surged through me, until I reassured myself that Alice was firmly connected to Frank Longbottom, and nobody else. At least it wasn't the rock who had an excuse to touch his firm, lovely shoulder and torso regions.

"Rhiannon bumped into us on the way and helped too, thank Merlin for her. I think I would've collapsed if she hadn't. You know how weak I am."

Yippee for me.

"Why didn't you tell all of this to me before?" I snapped at her.

"Uh – because it slipped my mind, maybe?"

"That's it," I said, and jumped out of bed. "I'm leaving." I pulled on a pair of daggy light blue pyjama pants over the skimpy shorts I was wearing. They were also light blue, incidentally – light blue with tiny white quills. Perhaps I have a thing for light blue pyjama attire. Does it mean anything, though? I'll have to find out.

Alice looked surprised. "What? But it's already past nine."

"Yeah, well," I huffed, "we had – we had Head Duties stuff to talk over. You were being incredibly inconsiderate when not informing me of his whereabouts earlier during the course of the day."

Ugh, there goes my stupid head spitting out long lines of words whenever my emotions become unchecked.

Alice told me so too, but I pretended not to hear her and quickly rushed out the door. There was a decent sizeable amount of people in the Common Room, but they were too immersed in whatever they were doing to notice me dash out the portrait hole.

See? Told you nobody ever noticed me.


Being Head Girl of this school does have its benefits. For one, nobody would ever dare question why you were galumphing up the stairs towards the Hospital Wing in nothing but a sleeveless top and daggy light blue pyjama pants late at night. Poor innocent Second Years. They looked so shocked to see me not wearing my prissy school uniform that I didn't even bother to scold them for sneaking around after curfew. There's really nothing wrong with young love, after all.

The journey up went by relatively smoothly, and I saw nobody save for a couple of students. I had to hide away behind a broom cupboard one time when Professor McGonagall passed, but that was all.

The door creaked slightly when I opened it to enter the Hospital Wing. Hopefully Madame Pomfrey didn't hear. With what I'm sure were extremely stealthy tiptoe movements, I crept around the dark room, relieved to find that there was only one bed occupied – meaning that I wouldn't have to worry about waking other students up when I began to snap at James for whatever he'd have done wrong. I don't know what I was supposed to be angry at him for, but something was sure to pop up in the midst of our conversation, wasn't it?

Oh, wait. I was supposed to act ordinary around him. But then I guess that didn't explain why I was sneaking around after curfew, breaking school rules just to find him.

Hmph.

The bundle of sheets on the bed suddenly shifted around, making way for a boy's messy head to pop out. He sat up, reaching with his right hand for his glasses that were sitting on the bedside table. As he did, part of the blanket covering him fell down to his torso.

His toned, sculpted and bare torso.

Oh, Merlin save me.

"Lil, seriously?" he said in a flat tone.

Well, what a nice greeting. I didn't just sacrifice my reputation and sanity to see you, not at all. And a good day to you too – er, night.

"Alice said that you needed to talk to me," I said in a defensive tone.

"What?"

I began to grow impatient. "Well, didn't you?"

"Uh, no," said James, giving me a strange look like I was some alien from Mars.

Actually, that's quite the offensive phrase – aliens from Mars could be very attractive, for all we know. We really must stop discriminating against these things that we haven't the faintest idea about.

Some dagger of sadness stabbed me in the stomach when I realised that I was still nothing more to him than a clumsy redhead that was a reminder of the horror of his immature days. But I was so sure that what I had heard was true!

"Well," I said with a kind of pathetic degree of desperation, "you did come stay here at the Hospital Wing because you sprained your ankle at lunch, right?"

"Why on Earth would I stay overnight in the Hospital Wing just because of a sprained ankle?" he scoffed, as if insulted by the very thought.

Oh dear.

Oh deary deary me.

Was everything that I had imagined to perceive in the past forty-eight hours just a stupid HALLUCINATION? Did Alice really say that James had hurt himself? Did I really flirt with Remus, or just my subconscious?

Is it even possible to flirt with your subconscious? Wow, narcissism at its worst. But – then did James really –

"You broke up with Rhiannon, right?" I said in a hurried tone.

James stared at me blankly. "What?"

I knew then that I was acting far from the desired 'ordinary', but I was too far in to help myself. Embarrassingly enough, tears began to well out from my eyes, but I think I managed to turn my gaze to the ground before he realised.

And this was why I loved the dark.

"You didn't?" I said, my voice coming out croaky. "You didn't break up with her?" Then I hiccupped.

Well, that's my cover destroyed.

James immediately jumped out of bed, grabbing a shirt that had been discarded on his bedside table to slip on, and I was glad (or not so glad) to see that he at least had a pair of pyjama pants on. Dark blue – hm, interesting. He stood in front of me, bending down to see my face. I sniffled, not bothering to hide the emotion now. "Lil," he said in an incredulous tone. "You're not – crying, are you?"

"No," I snapped.

Told you I would find some reason to get mad at him, even though it wasn't the damn sod's fault.

Strangely enough, a small grin began to spread across James' face. His grip on my shoulder loosened slightly. "By Merlin – you are crying!"

I shrugged him off and took a few steps back. "No," I repeated. "No, I'm not."

His eyes twinkled. "And what exactly would this be about, please tell me?"

I looked up at him for a few moments, overwhelmed, before bursting into tears again. Before I knew anything, there James was – comforting me.

Wait. James was comforting me.

Stupid damn perfect guys!

I punched his chest (unfortunately it was actually covered now) in frustration. "Get OFF me!" I screeched. "Why are you always so GOOD and–"

Oh no. I couldn't have actually said that. Why must I insist on embarrassing myself so?

Luckily James was too preoccupied with the noise I was making to take note of what I had said. "Shh," he hissed. "Bloody hell woman, do you want the entire school to hear us?" He dragged me out by one arm out into the corridor. Of course the door didn't creak when he opened it.

It seemed as if James had anger issues too, because he was holding onto me rather roughly as he found the nearest broom cupboard and shoved me in it with him, swinging it quietly behind us.

I didn't mind. I'd be handled rough with James any time he liked.

But now I had a more prominent issue: being almost pressed up against James in the tight confinements of a rudding BROOM CUPBOARD.

I know, you must be jealous of me. I would be jealous of me. But you have to understand that I'm already betrothed to my darling Remus, and such suggestive behaviour just cannot be tolerated by my sensitive senses.

"Now," whispered James loudly, bending down to meet my frightened eyes. "You want an explanation, right?"

"Yes," I replied meekly. "Yes, that would be nice."

To-Do:

1. Try not to die of a hormone overload.

2. Once out of this broom cupboard, research the meaning of light blue pyjama tendencies.

3. Also research the relationship between light blue and dark blue pyjama tendencies i.e. friends, enemies or romance – or all of the above.

4. Find a suitable punishment for Alice for lying to me.

5. Try not to pay any attention to the feeling of James' hot breath on my neck. Or, think of Remus... try to, anyway.


Have a lovely day. :)

~ birchermuesli