Chapter 7
Candace kicked her feet and swam for the surface. Spitting out water, she quickly pulled herself up onto the wall, which was a foot underwater now, but at least she could stand instead of treading water.
The monster was on the ground, slowly dissolving. It was hard to tell it was even the same thing that had attacked her. It looked rather like a whale that had been dead on the beach for a several weeks.
Candace stood there for a long time, dripping wet. She became vaguely aware that the water around her legs was receding and looked down into the moat. The water was all draining out, even down past the point it had been when she had fallen in the first time. It drained until it was completely empty, leaving just puddles on the bottom.
Candace walked over the drenched field, her feet sinking up to her ankles in the mud. She was utterly exhausted, soaked to the sink, and her pajamas were smeared with mud. Her orange hair was in tangled clumps that were plastered to the side of her head and hung down messily beneath the bike helmet. She pressed on across the field until she reached the dead monster.
She scanned the crushed wheat stalks, searching. Remembering the headlight on her helmet, she clicked it on. There, in the darkness, was a tiny reflection from something shiny. She walked over to it, and there, under a few rapidly dissolving bones and clumps of wheat stalks, partially embedded in the mud, was the sword.
Candace slowly bent down and picked it up by the handle. Then, with no further reason to stick around, she turned and started walking toward the clump of trees where her bike awaited her return.
Perry returned to the O.W.C.A. headquarters and showered so that no one in his host family would wonder why he was dirty and had flecks of dried concrete on his hands and feet. Then he took a vacuum tube home, popping up from a hidden door behind Ferb's bed. He jammed his fedora under the mattress, climbed up on the bed, removed the log he had placed under Ferb's arm when he left, and snuggled in for some much needed rest.
Candace pushed her bike into the garage just as the sun's first rays began to creep over the horizon. The ride home had been long and difficult, considering it was mostly uphill and Candace was almost too tired to keep pedaling. She was only holding the handle bars with her right hand. Her injured left hand held the sword, just with her finger tips to avoid making contact with the cut on her palm. And on top of everything else, the battery in the headlight had finally died about halfway home.
She crept into the house and found it deserted. Everyone else was still asleep. Still carrying the sword, she tip-toed up the stairs and went right into the bathroom to treat her cut and take a shower. When her wound was disinfected and wrapped with gauze and she was clean and wrapped in her bathrobe, Candace rinsed the sword off in the bathtub and dried it with a tissue.
Then she went to her bedroom, leaned the sword in the corner, shed her bathrobe, and collapsed onto her bed. She was asleep almost before her head hit the pillow.
"Wow. That's quite a story," Jeremy said. Candace had just finished recounting the events of the wee hours of that morning over lunch, which was actually breakfast for Candace. "I'm glad you're okay."
"I actually can't believe you believed that."
Jeremy sipped his soda. "Well, considering all the crazy, unbelievable things your brothers have done, I've learned that sometimes, you can take reality for granted."
Candace picked the sword up off the ground and placed it on the table between herself and Jeremy. "I was still asleep when my dad left for the antique shop this morning. I'm gonna head over there now and see if he knows anything about this sword. Wanna come?"
Jeremy shoved the last bite of his sandwich into his mouth. "I can't. I have to get ready to go to work. But I'll be very interested to see what you find out."
"Okay. See you later. Have fun at work."
"I don't really think that's possible, but I'll sure try."
Candace laughed.
Candace found Lawrence in the back room at Flynn-Fletcher Antiques, his nose buried in a book that was so large it took up the entire table.
"Hey, dad!"
"Candace!" Lawrence exclaimed as he looked up. "How nice to see you down here at the shop." He noticed the bandage around Candace's hand. "What happened to your hand?"
"I have a very sharp antique for you to look at. It cut me." Candace had been holding the sword upright behind her back. She pulled it out and twirled it around a bit before holding it out so her stepfather could take it from her by the hilt.
"My word!" Lawrence exclaimed, his face lighting up. "Where did you find this?"
"In the Metropolitan Oval Aquatic Trench while trying to escape an alien monster."
"Did you really?"
"Yup!"
"Well! Jolly good, Candace!" Lawrence turned on an overhead lamp and twisted a huge magnifying glass on a mounted arm so that he could examine the sword. "Yes, yes. As I thought! Marvelous! Simply marvelous!"
Candace watched him over his shoulder. After just a few minutes, Lawrence spun his chair around, grinning from ear to ear. He gripped the sword in his hand and held it out to show Candace. "Candace, what you have here is a Union Cavalry Officer's saber from the American Civil War."
"Really? Wow!"
"Yes, I can't identify exactly which officer this sword belonged to, but I can tell you that this sword was made by Henry Sauerbier & Company."
"Is it rare?"
"Well, not extremely, but it's more difficult to find than some other Civil War artifacts." Lawrence suddenly frowned. "Where did you say you found it?"
"Jenny and I dug it up in her backyard when I was helping her plant flowers."
Lawrence looked at Candace quizzically for a moment, and then his smile returned. "Well, alright, then. What are you going to do with it?"
He tossed the sword in the air and it flipped end over end. When it came back down, he caught it skillfully by the tip blade without cutting his hand. The handle was now pointed at Candace and she took hold of it.
"Hmm. It would look kinda out of place if I hung it in my bedroom. Why don't you hang it on the wall here in the shop just as a display item until I decide what to do with it?" Candace set the sword down on a nearby table. "Just don't sell it like you did my Mary McGuffin Doll."
Lawrence laughed nervously. "Don't worry, Candace. I'll keep it safe for you."
"Thanks! See you back home!"
"Bye, Candace!"
"Hello? Anybody out there?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz called. "I need some help here! I'm stuck in a cage! I'd really like to go home now! Hello?"
"That's so cool, Candace!" Jeremy exclaimed.
Candace smiled at her boyfriend. "Yeah. I guess it is pretty cool."
They walked out of the Mr. Slushy Dawg together. Jeremy's shift had just ended.
"You know, Candace, I'd even go so far as to say that's…" Jeremy paused for dramatic effect. He grinned mischievously. "…Extraordinary? Perhaps?"
Candace smiled back at him. "Maybe. Maybe."
"And all because you found it strange that you sang a line in a spontaneous musical number."
"Maybe I have ESP or I'm physic or something. My subconscious was telling me to go to that field so I could fight an alien and find an old sword."
Jeremy laughed. "Maybe you are."
It was Candace's turn to laugh.
"Come on," Jeremy said, putting his arm around her, "Let's go home."
They walked down the street toward Maple drive.
"I'll tell you this, though," Candace said. "I might still try some of the other things I sang about. I think I'd enjoy taking a fashion workshop, and it might be cool to make my own soap. But I am never, ever, ever going to stand in a wheat field again!"
"Ha ha ha!"
"Hello? Hello? Anyone? I really have to go to the bathroom! CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"
The End
I really enjoyed writing this story. I don't know why, but this was probably the most fun I've ever had writing a Phineas and Ferb fanfiction. (Which is ironic, because Phineas and Ferb didn't appear in this story. I guess, technically, Ferb did, but he was asleep, so I don't count that as an appearance.) I'm going to have to call this one a personal favorite of mine, and this story didn't even have any muscle cars or racing in it!
Just so you know:
-The scene where Candace is wading through the water under the trees and vines was inspired by a very short scene from Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. That's the only reason I even thought of the sword being part of the plot. I wanted Candace to be a pirate! That's also the reason why there's a snake in that scene.
-The alien monster is basically a rancor with hair from Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.
That's all for this story! Thank you all for your kind reviews. I'm glad you all enjoyed this spur-of-the-moment Candace-ballad I thought of.
