"Loathing, unadulterated loathing

for your face, your voice, your clothing

let's just say- I loathe it all!"

Centered around The Rhodes Not Taken.

God was she going to be pissed at me if she heard Mr Schue gave me her solo in Don't Stop Believin'. When I joined Glee, it had been to get closer to her, not replace her.

Nothing was going as I wanted it to. Why couldn't everything be simple like last year? I would give anything at this point to just watch Funny Girl and cuddle with Rachel. But that wasn't happening, no matter how much I wished. Freshman year was over, and we had problems.

At the moment, mainly one problem.

And that exact problem was the reason I had to run out of class during Glee rehearsal.

Dammit Puck.

But I couldn't bring myself to blame him for the problems with Rachel. Sure, he was the reason I had a person growing inside me, but I was the one lying. It was all my fault that Rachel was furious, that she quit Glee. I wanted everything to be right between us, except I couldn't do the one thing that would make it right.

So after spending the rest of rehearsal thinking in a bathroom stall, I finally knew what I had to do. Or, at least, some of it. You see, I wasn't good at master plans like Rachel. I just had to make small ones and then regroup. Maybe that's why I was never really any good at chess.

Either way, stage one of Operation: Win Back Rachel Berry commenced when I waltzed up to Finn at his locker later that day.

"Oh, hey Quinn. Are you okay after..?" he let the question hang in the air, knowing better than to say it out loud.

"I'm fine, thank you," I replied nonchalantly. "But I need you to do something for me."

"What?"

"Get Berry back in Glee," I stated.

He looked at me in confusion. "But you hate Rachel."

"True." Not true. "But she's our only chance at winning anything. You know that. So get her back, I don't care how."

"Okay…" He still looked a bit unsure, but my job was done. I twirled around and walked off, parting the crowded hall along the way.


Creepy creep creep creep creep.

At first it started out as a simple interview for the school newspaper, which I accepted as practice for the interviews I would get when I reached Broadway. But then it just turned creepy and I wished more than ever that I wasn't on bad terms with Quinn at the moment so she could make sure Jacob Ben Israel was slushied.

He wanted to see me in my bra? Um, no thanks. That view was reserved for Quinn and Quinn only (though it had only happened once in a moment of intense passion and probably wasn't going to happen again with the way things were as of late).

Thank goodness the original creep arrived and saved me from doing something that I would have regretted. Sandy cleared Jacob out, and then Finn sauntered in. Wait… Finn?

I thought at first he was there to convince me to come back to Glee, which wasn't happening with Quinn being there, but then when I accused him of this he denied it and started complimenting me. What was going on? He obviously couldn't have some ulterior motive because he wasn't smart enough to think that way, so was he actually saying nice things to me and meaning it? He even offered to run through lines with me?

Even though I was angry with Quinn, that didn't mean the bet wouldn't continue on. So I took advantage of the opportunity and didn't back down.


No. This was not part of the plan.

Mr Schue was not supposed to go out and find some replacement for Rachel. Finn was going to lure her back in with his moronic charm. This couldn't happen.

Yet there she was, April Rhodes, singing the song I heard Rachel sing during rehearsals yesterday when I hid in the auditorium to watch.

When she first started singing, I glared at Finn. This was his fault and I wouldn't let him forget it for a second. He avoided eye contact with me and shifted in his seat guiltily. There was no way she was replacing Rachel. I would have her back in the choir room if it was the last thing I did.

When the song was over, I plastered on one of my fake smiles so none of the others would know something was up. Then, I leaned over and whispered in Finn's ear, "You better fix this."

He nodded, not questioning me. I didn't even get to use my story I made up about why I didn't like April Rhodes. Truth was, she was a pretty damn good singer (she wasn't Rachel Berry good, but still). If April won over the other Glee members who all mostly hated Rachel, then there would be no hope of her coming back.

Rachel had to come back. She couldn't just give up on her chance to shine because of me.


Finn asked me out on a date!

I probably should've been questioning his motives, but at the moment I didn't care. All I could think about was the fact that he was finally FINALLY starting to show some interest in me.

It was literally all I could think about. So much that when Sandy Ryerson started throwing insults at me, it took me a second to realize it. Then came the inevitable tears at being insulted by someone who wasn't Quinn which meant that he actually meant it, and I ran to the bathroom.

I had been avoiding all school bathrooms as much as possible since they seemed to be the place where Quinn and I always met up, so I internally panicked when the door opened. Then I noticed it was not the love of my life who walked through the door, just that trampy April Rhodes that they had gotten to replace me.

I played along with her sympathetic act, and we talked about being stars. Afterwards she asked me for drugs, which I obviously would never have, and even if I did I wouldn't have given them to her.

Then she mentioned Finn, and I just about snapped. Only Quinn and I could play the Finn game. She wasn't allowed in. So I told her off.

"I think your behavior is totally inappropriate. And your presence in this school is a complete travesty. What you choose to do with your life is your own business, but don't go around screwing up everyone else's."

I had expected her to back down then and there, but that wasn't exactly the case. "I'm not afraid of you, sweetie. There was a time when I was the biggest star around here, and now that I've got that back, I'm never letting it go."

That was okay with me. I always wanted a real rival. So I let her leave and think she had won. I would be rid of her soon enough.

At the moment though, I couldn't worry about how best to kick her ass. No, I had to deal with the date with Finn that night.

It started out simple enough. He arrived at my house, met my dads, and took me to the bowling alley. Standard date procedure for Quinn and me (though she had never announced to my dads that we were going on a date), except we had never gone bowling. The entire ride over there, I wondered why she had never taken me bowling. But then when we got there and I was forced to wear awful rental bowling shoes and was faced with having to stick my fingers into the unknown depths of a bowling ball, I realized why.

Quinn had known I would never like bowling. That the entire act, from the bowling shoes to the grease filled food, would gross me out. At least, that's what I hoped. I didn't want to think that she hadn't taken me bowling because she was afraid of being seen with me.

I put a brave face on for Finn, because I really wanted to win him over, and let him teach me how to bowl. Though I soon figured out that I was extremely bad at it. Singing was my thing, and it didn't overlap with bowling in any way at all.

When the game was finally over, he was hungry so I let him buy us pizza. There wasn't anything vegan or even vegetarian at that place, so I went against everything I believed in and took a single bite of pizza just to please him. Immediately I was repulsed and reminded of how Quinn would never take me anywhere that wouldn't cater to my dietary needs.

Speaking of Quinn, even though we were fighting, I really wanted to know how her singing voice was progressing. So I asked about Glee. That was a mistake. I didn't hear a single thing about Quinn, just that everyone misses me, which was a complete lie. Also he said something about appreciating me that I didn't have time to ponder because he made me get up and try bowling one last time.

In a complete act of desperation, I kissed the bowling ball so that maybe, just maybe, it wouldn't go in the gutter and I wouldn't continue embarrassing myself with my lack of talent in bowling.

When I got a totally unexpected strike, I jumped into his arms without thinking. Then when I pulled away, I decided spur of the moment to try kissing him again. Unfortunately, instead of his declarations of love to me that I expected after having to put up with nasty shoes and eating pizza and all, he just told me to come back to Glee.

"What about Quinn?" I questioned. Was he going to break it off with her? Was I going to win?

"I don't know what's gonna happen in the future, I just know that I wanna spend more time with you now." It wasn't a definite answer, but it was a start, and it might make being in the same room as her bearable.

"I… I'll have to quit the play," I stated just so he would know how much I was giving up for this. He looked a bit apprehensive, so I confirmed that I would indeed do it.

But then when I walked in the choir room the next day to announce my return, I was met with the news. They all knew Quinn's secret now, and I realized Glee would be even harder to stomach with them whispering about it. So I did what I always do in a bad situation and stormed out. Though I knew what I had to do. As much as I wanted to go warn Quinn about everyone knowing, Finn was who I had to deal with first.


I witnessed Rachel slapping Finn, and immediately wondered what that was about. Did she somehow find out that I was the one who told him to get her back into Glee? It was the only explanation I could come up with, but I knew it probably wasn't right.

She wasn't going anywhere near the bathrooms anymore, so I couldn't corner her there. I decided the best course of action would be to confront her after her rehearsal that afternoon. Which was why I was hiding in my seat from Freshman Orientation while she ran through lines with her cast, instead of at home getting ready for Glee's Invitational that night. It would be a tight squeeze, where I would probably have to get ready for it in the bathroom after my confrontation with Rachel, because there was no way I'd be able to make it home and back in enough time.

I was so caught up in my own mind that I didn't even notice when rehearsal ended and footsteps approached me.

"You know you really shouldn't keep sneaking in to these." I about jumped out of my seat.

"Jesus, Rachel! Give a little warning next time you sneak up on me." She smiled lightly at me. Wait, she smiled?

"Maybe next time you shouldn't space out so much that it's considered sneaking," she replied, sitting down. "Why do you come to these anyway?"

We were having a civil conversation. I decided not to question it and just consider it the magic of the auditorium. "I love hearing you sing, and if you don't sing in Glee every day then I have to find another way." She looked away from me then, but I could still see the blush that was rising on her cheeks. "So how are you, Rachel?"

"I'm…" She seemed to be picking out her words very carefully. "Okay. I went out on a date with Finn last night that turned out just to be a ploy to get me back to Glee. I'm completely in charge of the musical now so that's stressful. Then there's the problem where my best friend and I aren't talking when I know she needs me right now but I can't even stand to look at her without being hurt. So yeah. I'd say I'm okay."

For a second I couldn't find words, and then all I could find was her name. "Rachel…"

"I'm fine, Quinn. Really." But she wasn't. Not at all.

"Can we just talk through this?" She nodded slightly, and I continued on. "The Finn thing. I kind of, and please don't freak out on me and storm away, okay? I kind of told Finn that he needed to get you back in Glee by doing whatever he could. You just wouldn't come near me and I couldn't handle you giving up something you love so much just because of me. And you should know that I'm sorry."

"Finn said he did it so he could get a music scholarship," she muttered.

"Yeah, I think that was Ms Pillsbury's way of getting you back. She doesn't like April being around Mr Schue." I grinned at her. "So was that why you slapped Finn earlier?"

"Yeah. It was more acting than anything. I kind of suspected he had a motive when he was so blatantly flirting with me. Though when I do finally get him and win the bet, I want it to be from my own efforts and not from you," she replied, smirking.

I rolled my eyes. "We're still doing this bet with everything going on?"

"Well I'm not giving in and letting you win just because of some minor bumps in the road."

I sighed. "Okay. Now, about the musical. I really think it would be better if you just came back to Glee." She started to protest, but I held my hand up. "The way you worked today, you're going to drive yourself into the ground. Your grades will start to slip and then you'll be even more stressed. Also I've heard it's kind of impossible to play the lead and direct."

She closed her eyes for a minute, and I just waited on her to start yelling at me for not believing in her talents or something. But then she opened them and said, "You're right."

This shocked me, because I had been fully expecting a rant of epic proportions, but I quickly recovered and addressed her final issue. "As for the last one, I think we just fixed it."

She finally looked back at me. "I'm still not happy with your decision."

"Neither am I," I agreed.

"But I can't let you go through this alone. Plus I'm selfish and need you myself because, in case you haven't noticed, I haven't got a lot of friends." She pulled me in for a hug. I found myself melting into the arms that hadn't held me for days. Everything would be alright.

"Are we okay?" I asked, needing confirmation.

"Yeah," she whispered as we broke apart. "But there's something you should know."

"What?"

"Glee found out."

"About us?"

"No! About… you being pregnant." I was going to kill Finn.

"W-what? How?" I questioned. It was only a matter of time before the whole school knew, and then my parents.

"I don't know. But when I went in the choir room today they mentioned it. I'm sorry." She brought me back into another hug, knowing that I needed it then. She knew everything about me.

We stayed like that until I came to my senses and remembered that I had to prepare for the show.


Why is it that Quinn looks so damn attractive in everything she wears? At first, I thought it was just the cheerleading outfit. Then there was the car wash outfit. And now… Now there was the Western outfit.

Then they started dancing and singing and she… Words don't even describe how attractive I found her when she was performing.

So I decided I had to go backstage and make out with her while she was still in that outfit because I would never forgive myself if I didn't. Except April and Mr Schue were blocking the one hallway to get to Quinn. Which meant I had to wait until they were gone before I could go find her and just hope she hadn't changed yet for the next number.

Unfortunately, when I got to the dressing room, they were all changed and Mr Schue was talking about how they couldn't go on for the next song because April was gone. I knew it was then my time to put aside everything and join again. After my talk with Quinn earlier, I felt like I could finally go back to Glee. If it just so happened that I saved the day while doing it, then the better for me.

While singing Somebody to Love, I had to force myself to look at Finn and not Quinn. Then somehow I found us standing by each other at one point in the song and it got even harder. I didn't want to sing to Finn. I wanted to sing to her. But I made it through anyway.

When it was over and I was on my way home with my dads, I texted her.

Don't you think it was a little risky when you sang beside me?

She immediately answered.

I can't help you took April's place. She was always beside me in case I needed to use plan B to get rid of her and bring you back.

What was plan B?

Push her off the stage and pull you up to sing the rest. ;)

Quinn!

What? I'm allowed to be an evil mastermind too, you know.

Not when it involves the safety of others!

I wasn't actually going to do it, Rach. I figured you'd be leaping into my arms after you saw me in the first number. Kinda a bit disappointed you didn't.

I laughed at this.

I was on my way to have a make out session in the janitor's closet but Mr Schue and April were blocking the hallway.

Damn. Well, I could always put it back on and we could have this make out session now instead? It's been too long since I last kissed you.

Quinn, as much as I want to, the school's locked. Not to mention the fact that I'm at home now.

Tomorrow after Glee? (:

Maybe. Goodnight, Quinn.

Goodnight, Rachel. (:


Song: What is This Feeling- Wicked

A/N: Sorry if this seemed all over the place. With Rachel and Quinn avoiding interaction, they were going to have to do their own things which creates jumpy POV changes. Also yes, Rachel is out of character when she eats pizza. Not my fault. That goes to Ryan Murphy. I'm just the one who has to try and explain Rachel's reasoning behind it. Ryan get your shit together I am tired of having to clean up your mess.