Ok, beloved readers, this is where I either lose you or get you to stick to the end. Which is still far, I have planned this fic carefully (for the first time, I have to say...) So don't hesitate to react, review and trust me, I hope!

Ecstasy

Will woke up, sweating. He trotted to the fireplace and put his head on the mantlepiece. It was still a little warm. A mewing came from outside and he rushed to the door to retrieve the chilled kitty. He sat with her and rubbed her until she fell asleep. He looked at the clock, that was wasting his time away. Trapped in here. Forever. He was going to die here, far from his family. Bernardi was crooked but he was efficient. Rafe valued him. He felt cold. There was no hope. Look at Sonny, still hiding after more than two months. He envisioned facing his enemy, get it over with. How would dying feel like? Painful? Liberating? The ending. No more Will... His body rebelled. His pajama pants lifted up. Oh. He hadn't thought about it for a long while. Well why not? Let his mind at rest for a few busy minutes. He didn't want to touch himself in here though and walked into the dark bedroom on his way to the bathroom. He stepped in, one hand already in his boxers. He just had the time to wonder why they had forgotten to switch off the light when he saw Sonny. Whose eyes followed Will's arm and widened. He looked up again and their desperate gaze met.

Sonny's hand were strangely avid, groping him, never staying in the same place. Will was taking it all in, the novelty of another man's body. It was an even better way to forget. He panted and that made Sonny even wilder. Their clothes were gone by the time they bumped into the bed and landed on top of one another. Will rubbed his cock against Sonny's belly and groaned. In the dark, he felt it being clutched and then stroked. They didn't talk, just listened to each other's heavy breathing. Will's shaking hand fumbled in the search for Sonny's member. He grabbed it inexpertly and Sonny let out a cry "Sorry, how should I...?" He heard a shushed "Slower... yes... yes... like that..." They didn't do more than stroking but it felt like heaven. Sonny made noises of pure pleasure. It was easier no to see anything. Although Sonny was gorgeous and he was missing on seeing him... entirely. But he could pretend that it was just a sex dream, a parenthesis. He came on one of the pillow. Sonny followed shortly after. They fell down on the sheets and stayed there, in silence. In a way, it had done the trick. Now Will's mind was off deathly threats. It was on how awkward it would be between them now.

They overslept that day. The curtains were tightly shut and it was just when Berry passed between them that the light hit Will's eyelids and woke him up. He sat and let memories of that night rush back. The letter. Bernardi. Sonny. "Sh...!" He stood up and was chillingly remembered he was naked. He looked down at Sonny. He could see a shoulder and it was a very nice one but the rest was thankfully all covered. He got a fleeting urge to sneak a look underneath but pushed it away instantly. No need to add creepy to the list of problems this was going to rise. He dressed quickly and went to the living-room before calling "Hey, Sonny, you might want to wake up. We have to collect wood, remember?" Then he walked outside. He was sipping on his coffee when Sonny joined him, looking sheepish. He sat down and placed his hands flat on the wood. Then he gazed at his hands and uttered "That... That was..." and swallowed. And paused. By the way he sounded, Will could finish himself 'a mistake', 'something to forget', 'inappropriate'. But Sonny actually said '...nice.' He looked up and Will could see he was unhinged "I mean... I... You... I slept better. No nightmares... Which is good because the one that got me up to go wash my face in the bathroom was... particularly awful." Will frowned "What was it about?" Sonny muttered "He had found us. Nick, I mean. And he was armed..." His voice trailed off. Will waited but Sonny didn't explain more. They told each other every details of their dreams so there were two reasons he wouldn't. It was either because the dream had crossed the line of horrible and couldn't be told at all or because what had happened had changed things between them and ruined the budding friendship. Will hoped it was the first one. He needed to get along with Sonny. He said tentatively "Well, I liked it too. I mean... It was soothing... Not that it wasn't also... But you know..." he finished pathetically. Sonny gave him a weak smile. It wasn't how Will had expected his first male sexual experience. Well actually first experience period. But at least he wasn't rejected. Nor disappointed. And in this fucked up situation, at least he had a few good things now. They got up together and waltzed around the table for a moment until Sonny showed Will the way. They brushed against each other and Will flinched but kept walking.

It was weird the way they settled this. During the day, they laughed and talked and played cards or chess. And at nights, they would silently jerk each other to oblivion. No kisses. No sweet words. No foreplay. Just a friendly hand, literally. One day, though, Will walked in to find Sonny looking dejected. He was crouched in the armchair the way he was upon Will's arrival and he looked so vulnerable, Will's heart broke. He knelt down and brushed his arm but Sonny didn't react. Will had an inkling to why he was like that. In a week it would be Christmas. It hurt Will too to think about it and he decided to help the way he knew how. He slowly unbottonned Sonny's belt. Sonny didn't move. Will extracted the flabby member. How could he get it up? Stroking him might be complicated. So he kissed it. Then he licked the length. Sonny went semi-hard. Still no other reaction though so Will kept licking and kissing. After a few minutes he noticed Sonny was biting his lips. He retreated and asked blandly "Why aren't you letting go? You can make noises, I wouldn't mind..." Sonny rolled his eyes and whispered "If I do, I'll be yelling very loud. This is good..." Will smiled and replied "So, what are you afraid of? 'What will the neighbors say'?" Sonny laughed and moaned as Will went back to the licking. He even took a leap of faith and put his mouth at the tip and took it in. Sonny swore. Will gently stroked Sonny's belly when his finger met a scrappy place on the soft skin. He looked up, still sucking. Sonny was out of it, panting and grunting. Next to his navel, there was a scar, about two inches long. He took his hand of it and swallowed Sonny a little more. He was rewarded by a "O'ma'ga', yes, yes, more, please?". Would he gag? He wasn't sure but Sonny looked like he was enjoying himself and Will was relieved he could help him. He pushed further and felt the cock hit the back of his throat. And liquid flowing down. He waited for the throbbing to subside and took it out. He felt a hand brush his hair softly "Thank you. So much. I needed that."

They went to bed and for once, Will wanted to talk. He snuck his hand under Sonny's chin and fired all his questions. He had found out a very graphic book at the back of a cupboard and he wanted to know "Sonny, how did your dad found this place?" Sonny sighed "Last year he went to a convention and he saw a guy he'd been in law school with. They hadn't been buddies at the time but they still reminisced. And they exchanged cards. The man, I think his name is McLone or something..." "McLeod. It's in one of the books." "Right. So he said he was into fishing. He bought this cabin and he went there some week-ends to escape the wife apparently..." Will chuckled. "But he had had a heart attack. And his wife forbade him to come. His daughter had had a son and he was waiting for the kid to grow up to take him there or something. So when dad was preparing the getaway, he called him and asked. The guy said he got it, as a lawyer he knew the limits of the system. He told dad about this handy man who came to fix stuff some years ago..." "Martin?" "Mmmm." Will took a deep breath. He had Sonny in a talking mood and now he was getting to the main question "Sonny?... The scar on your belly... Was it...?" Sonny didn't answer. Will listened to the light breathing, then turned on his back "Yes. I was bleeding all over the floor. He cut me slowly. Then he brought the knife upwards. He was enjoying it, I guess..." Will closed his eyes. Just before falling asleep he was thinking that if they were still there for Christmas, he would offer something to Sonny. Himself.