Happy Valentine's Day! I am so sick right now that I haven't even eaten anything over the past two days! I hope everyone is having a better day than i am, but good news; This chapter (because narutoking said that he had hoped it would be longer) is twice as long as the others! Well idk when i'll next update, so when u review tell me how soon i should try to post the next chapter! REVIEW AND FLAME PLEASE!
Sorrow
It was dark in Kushina's new house. It was a decent apartment, kind of dirty, but that was her fault. There were boxes of clothes donated by villagers (which she hadn't bother to unpack), and on the kitchen counter there was even money. Food was already in the fridge and all the cabinets were full too.
But she hadn't really moved from her bed for the past three days.
Her life was over. It had to be. No one could survive after losing so much. She hugged her knees closer to her. Her red hair was down and it fell around her face. She sat there staring at the wall, mourning the lost of her past life.
There were so many things that she'd never get to do again. She'd never fight with her sister, get yelled at by her mother, never walk the hidden paths around whirlpool. She'd never even get to show Minato what the village had been like.
So many simple things that she had lost, but it had the weight to crush her. She bit her lip and laid her head against her knees, trying to calm herself down. But all she could think of is how she'd never be going home again.
Because it's gone she said while trying not to cry and everyone that I loved is dead
She didn't know if all her friends were dead, but they might as well be. She'd probably never see them again and if she did, there wouldn't be anything to say. The past would weigh to heavy on the conversation and she didn't want any reminders of whirlpool.
The head band that was tied around her forehead suddenly weighed too much. She reached behind her head and for the first time since she had gotten it, she took it off for reasons other than hygiene.
It slipped off her head without a sound and fell softly onto the bed. She started at the symbol for awhile; remembering how happy she had been when she first got it. Kushina stood up, grabbed the headband, and put it in her nightstand draw.
It was funny how doing this gave her a sense of closure. She smiled sadly as she closed the draw but then turned to all the boxes laying around. She walked over and opened one and sighed.
Whoever had donated clothes to her, had given her a lot of dresses which, even though they were pretty, definitely couldn't be worn on a mission. She went to her closet grabbed as many hangers as she could carry and started hanging them up.
After that she repeated the process with the other boxes, putting any pants, shorts, t-shirts or tank tops into her dresser for clothes to be worn on missions. She cringed a little at having to be a ninja for Konoha. It felt like she was betraying her family and her village.
She felt another wave of sadness about to overtake her so she quickly looked around the room to look for something else to do. Sadly there didn't seem like there was anything else to do.
The villagers of Konoha had been very generous with the refugees. She had a nice home, a full wardrobe, money to spend, and a full fridge. They weren't even making her pay rent until 3 months after she started doing missions.
What's with the people here? She thought while biting her lip again. She felt bad for free loading off them but she really didn't have much of a choice. She cringed as she remembered the last time she had seen Minato.
Now that had been embarrassing.
She had actually cried in front of him, which was horrible in so many ways that she couldn't even begin to explain. He had been great about it, he had even held her while she cried.
She blushed lightly and tried to focus on other, less embarrassing thoughts, but her mind kept wandering back to how safe she had felt in Minato's strong arms. She felt guilty about even being in such a situation, while she should still be mourning all that she had lost, but she couldn't help what she felt.
The redhead felt emotionally drained. She had flipped through so many emotions since she had woken up the other day at the hospital. Sad to neutral, neutral to embarrassed, embarrassed to some odd feeling she felt whenever she thought of Minato.
She wanted to see him, and redeem herself a little. Minato had stopped by a few times, but she had refused to see him. She didn't think that he'd be mad – he wasn't that kind of person – but she felt the need to apologize anyways.
So for the first time in three days she left her apartment. It was odd to be outside after so long indoors. The sun seemed too bright and she was momentarily blinded. As soon as her eyes adjusted she headed in what she believed was the way to Minato's house.
Actually, now that she thought about it, she had no idea where Minato lived at all. She had never seen his house, not even during his tour of the village and she didn't know her way around the village well enough to go find it for herself.
So she settled on just walking the streets, hoping that she would run into him. She had to admit that it wasn't a very good plan, but she was all for getting some food at that ramen place again. After wandering around for about an hour or so she finally managed to find the place.
This village is too big she thought with agitation how can anyone find their way around?
She walked in and sat down on a stool, placed an order and went back to daydreaming, she barely noticed when someone had sat down besides her. She inclined her head to look at him.
He looked kind of familiar; he was around her age so it was possible they took the chunin exams together, but she couldn't place a name to his face. He noticed her looking at him so he turned and flashed her his best smile
"Hey" was all he said. Kushina's cheeks turned a light pink, she could tell instantly that this guy was interested in her. Instead of shying away from the attention like she used to do she turned towards him and gave him a heartbreaking smile.
"Hey" she said while tossing her hair back a little. She knew she was over doing it but she didn't care. This was the most fun that she had had in days. It wasn't that she was really interested in him in anyway, but more that she was caught up in the risk of flirting with an unknown stranger.
Somehow he seemed to sense this and he kept up a light carefree conversation with her. She knew he was interested, and as far as he knew she was interested in him, which was all he needed to know. He didn't even bother asking for her name and she didn't ask for his.
Who really cared anyways?
Minato was walking through town with Jiraiya and currently wishing that he had stayed home instead. Jiraiya had a way of getting on Minato's nerves really fast whenever Kushina's name came up.
For some reason that Minato didn't understand, Jiraiya was under the impression that Kushina and him were dating secretly.
"For the last time, we're not dating!" Minato cried in exasperation, this had been going on for about an hour now.
"Sure that's what you say, but I know the truth" Jiraiya said with a sly grin. He knew there was nothing going on between Minato and Kushina (right now) but he couldn't help teasing his student.
"Ugh!" Minato said as he slapped himself on the forehead. "Don't you have anything better to do?"
"Nope" Jiraiya said while grinning "I put your needs before anything else"
Minato groaned but gave no answer. A few seconds later he turned to his sensei to ask where he wanted to go for lunch.
"Hmmm. . . how about Ichiraku? I haven't been there in weeks"
"What?!" Minato said, surprised. In Minato's mind he couldn't imagine anyone staying away from Ichiraku's for more than a day. He shook his head in disappointment and Jiraiya just rolled his eyes and sighed; guessing Minato's thoughts.
"Let's go right no-" before Jiraiya finished his sentence a ninja in an ANBU mask showed up.
"Jiraiya-sama, the hokage would like to see you" the man said before disappearing. Minato sighed and muttered "go" and seconds later his sensei had left. Minato was getting pretty annoyed with the ANBU lately.
Since they were at war, the ANBU were showing up everywhere, all the time. Minato hadn't gone a day without being interrupted by them in someway. Minato walked the rest of the way to Ichiraku's feeling annoyed.
He walked in and to his great surprise, Kushina was there. She wasn't alone though; Takari, Minato's former teammate, was sitting next to her. Kushina was giving him a flirty smile and he was smiling back at her.
He said something to her, too low for Minato to hear, and she laughed quietly in turn. Before Minato's mind had caught up with his body, he had already ducked back out of the shop and rounded the corner.
He felt inexplicably angry with the two of them. He had been worrying over Kushina and trying to get her to leave her house for days and here she was on a date?! And with Takari no less!
Takari was a good ninja but he had a bad reputation when it came to relationships. Minato didn't want Kushina within a hundred feet of him. But he didn't move an inch; he didn't trust himself to go back yet.
He still felt angry enough to punch something, which surprised him, because he usually had a good grip on his emotions. He ran his hand through his hair a few times and paced agitatedly.
After a few more minutes he turned around to go back, when he rounded the corner he almost walked into Takari. At the sight of him Minato suddenly felt just as angry again. His first instinct was to punch him in the face but of course he didn't.
"Hey" Takari said "I was just about to go looking for you"
"Oh?" Minato said his tone sharper than usual, intended due to his unexplained anger.
"Yeah, I was talking to some girl a few minutes ago and she said she was looking for you" Takari said bitterly as he rolled his eyes. Obviously his time with Kushina had ended badly.
Minato instantly felt better and his anger seemed to evaporate. Obviously it hadn't been a date if he didn't even know her name. He felt a little ridiculous for getting so worked up. It's not like Kushina would go out with someone she barely knew anyways.
"Oh" Minato said, feigning innocence, as if he had never been angry. "Where?"
"Back at Ichiraku's I guess" he said giving Minato a dry look "She's not much fun, I wouldn't waste my time Minato"
"Thanks for the advice" Minato said as he walked away, a smile already on his lips "See you later Takari"
Kushina sat on her stool laughing with the owner of the store. She was in a great mood. That guy she had been flirting with apparently was a player, and was a little mad that he had been rejected. In fact he had caused quite a scene before he left.
She laughed out loud quietly
"What's so funny?"
Kushina stopped laughing and turned around in surprise, "Minato!" she said practically falling off the stool. He put a hand on her shoulder to steady her and she was surprised by the way the slight contact made her feel.
"Ah Minato!" The shop keeper said as he turned around "Do you want your usual?"
"Sure" Minato said with a laugh as he sat down next to Kushina.
"Do you want anything else" the man asked looking at Kushina. She smiled politely and told him that she would have what Minato was having. She saw Minato's look of worry at how much she was going to eat; apparently he hadn't forgotten the last time she had come here.
"Don't worry" she said with a grin as she pulled out the bag of money "I can pay for myself"
He snickered but decided against saying anything that would provoke her. No matter how normal she was acting, she had been through a lot in the last couple of weeks. She noticed his worried stare and quickly turned away so he couldn't guess at how sad she actually was feeling.
She was happier pretending that everything was okay.
As they waited for their food they fell into a slightly awkward silence. Neither of them really had much to say. Minato wanted to ask what she had been doing for the past two years but he didn't want to bring up any painful memories. It was a question that would have to wait for a better time.
Luckily for him she brought the subject up
"What have you been doing while I wasn't here? You couldn't have just spent the past two years sitting around. . . I hope. . ." she trailed off with a smirk. He scowled in mock anger before flicking her gently on the forehead.
"Of course not" he said with a smile "I've actually have my own ninja team now"
"Really?" she asked in surprise. In whirlpool you had to be at least eighteen before you took the responsibility of having your own team "Aren't you a little young? You're students probably are three or four years younger than you at the most"
"Yeah. . ." Minato said while scratching the back of his head "But since the war's going on, and there aren't enough experienced jonin that can be spared to raise a team, so I got stuck with them instead"
"Because you're a jonin of course" she said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes at her tone "Well I was a jonin too, but I'm not sure if I still technically am. . ."
She trailed off and Minato let the conversation drop. It was wandering towards a very dangerous subject. Kushina did seem relatively okay, but he didn't want to push his luck and pry.
"So. . ." Kushina began not sure how to finish, she was looking for a better topic and suddenly she found one "How come you never wrote me?"
"Huh?" was the first word that popped into Minato's mind. He had written her, a lot. He had sent at least two dozen letters, over the first year, but when she never wrote him back, he had eventually stopped writing.
"Me not write You?" Minato asked, incredulous "Try the other way around, I sent you lots of letters"
"No" Kushina said, her eyes narrowing; he definitely wasn't going to turn this around on her. She had waited for two years and hadn't gotten anything, so she didn't wanted hear this crap.
"Yeah, I sent you letters through summons" Minato explained, referring to the toads he had learned to summon while training with Jiraiya. After signing his name in blood and working at it for months he now had control over most the frogs he could summon. Gamabunta was a very difficult story.
"What animal?" she asked arching an eyebrow. She could name about three summons that wouldn't be able to get to whirlpool, and she was growing suspicious that Minato had tried to use one of them.
"Toads" he said blankly, as he tried to figure out what could be the problem with that. Kushina rolled her eyes and sighed.
"You're an idiot, aren't you?" Kushina said with a laugh "Do you have any idea what whirlpool was surrounded by?"
"Water?" Minato said while raising an eyebrow at her obvious question.
"Not just 'water' you idiot, salt water."
"So? What does that have to do with anything?" Minato asked, still feeling lost. Kushina laughed again and rolled her eyes.
"Toads are freshwater animals, I can guarantee you that none of your summons would cross the saltwater surrounding the village"
Minato frowned at this. What she was saying sounded about right, but he hadn't really doubted his summons ability to deal with a little discomfort.
"Oh" was all he was able to say lamely, she smiled and shoved him playfully
"You're so stupid Minato" she said jokingly. She tilted her head slightly and her eyes met his. All of a sudden Minato was aware of how close she was. They were turned each other, and somehow throughout the course of the conversation they had ended leaning towards each other.
Minato could feel his cheeks turn red at their physical closeness and couldn't say he wasn't glad when the man who ran the place brought over the two dishes of ramen. Minato quickly looked down at his food and began eating; the conversation effectively ended.
They ate in silence, but it wasn't awkward. While they ate Minato kept stealing glances at Kushina.
Her red hair was down and it fell down her back like a crimson waterfall. Her eyes were the same amazing, vibrant green that they usually were but against her pale skin, all her features stood out in sharp contrast.
Her lips were a light pink, and even while eating he thought she had a small smile on her lips and that lit up her face even more. She seemed so delicate and breakable it was hard to believe that she was a kunoichi.
"Are you full?" Kushina asked, startling him. He flushed a light pink for some reason he couldn't explain. He was watching her mouth form the syllables but he hadn't really comprehended the words.
He blinked trying to pull his eyes away from her. He hadn't even realized that he had stopped eating. He shook his head and began eating again. She watched him curiously for a minute before returning back to her ramen.
Minato's face was still pink, but she hadn't noticed anything weird. She giggled quietly to herself, and the sound drew his eyes back to her face. Her eyes were full of warmth and her lips curled into an easy smile.
He noticed that in her hair she was wearing the clip he had given to her as a going away present. He smiled to himself discretly, oddly content with the fact that she was wearing something that connected her to him.
"That was good" Kushina said with a smile, after handing the man some money for the food. She stood up and Minato of course followed. "I'm definitely coming back tomorrow"
Minato smiled at her and nodded in consent. That meant that he would be coming back tomorrow too. She hadn't really invited him, and she hadn't mentioned a time, but he was definitely going to find a way to come at the same time.
I think I'm getting a little obsessive. . .he thought, frowning a little. He had been focusing a lot on Kushina lately. He shot a quick glance at her, she was walking next to him, humming an odd song.
She noticed his stare and smiled "It's an old song my mother used to sing"
"Oh. . ." was all he said, trying to let the topic drop.
"It's okay to talk about them. . ." she murmured "I don't want to pretend they never existed. . . I want to rememberthem. . ."
Minato remained silent though, not sure of what to say. He wasn't good with dealing with emotions head on. Kushina was smiling a sad smile and tilting her head to the sky.
It was dark out now and the first couple of stars were just coming out. He had been with her for a few hours he thought contentedly. And before he knew it, they were standing in front of her apartment.
"See you later Minato" she said as she opened the door, that easy smile back on her lips. And all too soon she was gone from his sight and he felt a sense of loss. He stared at the door for a second before turning to walk back to his house.
It was a short distance from Kushina's apartment, a fact that she probably didn't know herself, but instead of using his normal speed to get there in seconds, he chose to walk like everyone else.
He stuck his hands in his pockets and gazed up at the stars, thinking about whether he should try to meet up with Kushina the next day. The blond knew what he wanted to do, but he had this odd feeling that he should try to put a little distance between the two, for his sake.
But the more he thought of Kushina, the harder it was to picture himself farther away from her. He already felt a need to get closer to her; he didn't think he could stand any more distance between them.
He felt embarrassed and silly, but it was true. He needed to be around her. He opened the door to his house, and wasn't surprised to find it empty. His mother did her best, but she was never around. It was like he was living by himself most of the time.
He went straight to his room and laid on his bed. Almost immediately his mind went back to Kushina. She was so beautiful now. He couldn't stop staring at her. Everything about her just seemed so –
The blond shook his head trying to get her out of his head. She was his friend. And in retrospect, no matter how close they were he had only knew her for about two years. He sighed in frustration and closed his eyes.
Moments later he fell asleep
He and Kushina were laying side by side on the banks of the lake. It was a nice day out, and everything was quiet. They weren't talking; just laying there, with the sun beating down on them, even in the seclusion of the trees.
Kushina had her eyes closed and her hair was fanned out underneath her. She was humming that odd song again and seemed peaceful. Minato was sitting up and staring at her in wonder and fascination. He was vaguely sure that this was a dream. But it seemed so real. . .
He reached out hesitantly to touch her, to find out if he was awake or not. As he touched her arm, she opened her eyes suddenly, her vibrant green eyes meeting his startled blue ones.
He blushed and pulled his hand back and looked away; trying to hide his deep embarrassment. But Kushina seemed unaffected. She sat up slowly and for some reason this simple motion startled Minato.
He didn't know why he was so jumpy; but something seemed off, like she was liable to attack him any minute. She smiled and laughed quietly as if she could guess his thoughts.
Dream or no dream, she was being unusually weird.
He turned to face her again and was surprised at how close they were. Their faces were inches apart and he immediately looked away awkwardly. Kushina smiled as she placed her hands on either side of Minato's face, turning his face back towards her own
"K-Kushina" he stuttered feeling embarrassed again "What are you doin –"
And suddenly she pressed her lips softly against his
Minato woke up with a start, breathing heavy. His face flushed and startled. That was the first night he dreamed of Kushina
Roxie: Thanks for reading PLEASE REVIEW AND FLAME and let me know when to update next :)
