Value and Worth, Chapter 7


~o0o~


The days continued in silence. And much like it had before, it unnerved her.

Hermione didn't know what it was that she had done, what had triggered this behaviour in Barty. Something had been wrong with him since before she had come back, she was sure of it. She just wasn't sure what.

Thankfully, he was no longer staring at her the way he had done when she'd first come back. That was something at least. Instead, he'd simply been held up in his room. Something in her mind had convinced him not to be angry with her, for which she was grateful. But that didn't mean he wasn't still upset.

And that was the one thing Hermione was sure of. That he was still upset, that was.

She sighed and glanced at her pocket watch once more. The seconds ticked away and she was going back home after a weeks stay, but that was still twenty-five hours away. A lot could happen in twenty-five hours.

Another spoon of sugar in her coffee and a stir and Hermione sipped in silence.

Silence again.

Occasionally there would be a creak in the floorboards, a door closing, but that was it. Hermione rubbed her eyes, admitting that the coffee wasn't helping. She wasn't sleeping well and there wasn't enough coffee in the world to make her forget or ignore Barty's presence in the house. Somehow, him being silent made him even more intimidating. At least when he spoke, she knew where he was. Now, he could be right behind her and she wouldn't know. He was more ghost than human.

"How am I supposed to observe something I can't see?" Hermione mumbled to herself.

This mission was a disaster. She had no idea how she would come back from this.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Having tired of the house, Hermione fled to the garden and sat outside, relishing in the returning bird songs and watching the sun set. A gust of wind had her close her eyes and take a deep breath. It was the most peaceful she'd felt in a long time. Just her and the trees . . . She wished to be done, to go back home. For this to be over.

Hermione whipped her wand out and erected her forcefield and Barty was knocked to the ground. Her wand still aimed at him, she stared, her mind trying to puzzle together what was happening—her reflexes faster than her conscience.

Meanwhile, Barty was growling. He got up on his knees and wiped off his clothes. It was the most human she'd seen him be all week.

Still, he was scary. Hermione swallowed. "What do you want?"

"No hello?" Barty grumbled, but when seeing her unamused look, he ran a hand through his hair and pulled at it a little. It looked like it hurt. "I was only going out for some fresh air."

No, you weren't, Hermione thought. You wanted to scare me.

Seemingly guessing her thoughts, as she was avoiding his eyes this time, Barty shrugged. "Believe what you like."

Hermione waited.

Barty gritted his teeth. "You left a note."

Hermione blinked. "That's right. I did. I just wasn't sure if you'd agree to it."

"If it keeps them from coming here, then I have to do it, don't I?"

Hermione was confused, but she wasn't sure if she should ask who 'them' were, in case was something Barty had fabricated in his own mind. She'd heard him mutter to himself before.

"All right," she said . "All you have to do is sit down . . .next to me."

Barty noticed her faltering and grew an amused grin. He sat down and Hermione fought the urge to move away.

"Er, and now, we are just supposed to close our eyes and meditate. You know, focus on our breathing and let our thoughts drift, be present in the moment—"

"Let's just get on with it," said Barty, having already closed his eyes.

"Don't you want to know why?"

"I know why," growled Barty, "They want to see if I remember anything by relaxing my mind. It won't work, but if I don't do this they'll be back. And I'd rather eat my own hand than see that half-wit again. Fucking badger."

Hermione frowned. "Barty, do you mind telling me who you're talking about?"

He glared at her, and she had trouble dissecting exactly what had caused this reaction. Perhaps it was just the fact that she'd had the nerve to ask him anything at all.

Eventually, Hermione decided to just change the subject. Something told her she wouldn't get an answer anytime soon.

"Let's just try this meditation thing," she said.

Barty sighed but did as told.

Hermione watched him close his eyes, but she let hers stay wide open . . .

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Barty returned to his room, slamming the door harder than necessary. He wasn't ready, he wasn't even close to ready. He'd thought he'd been ready.

All he wanted to do was hurt her.

Granted, that wasn't much of a change from before, but at least then it had all been about pleasure. This was . . .this was not. He had anger. So much anger and confusion, and he wished to hurt whoever breathed near him.

It was better to remain hidden, to stay away. Away from her. Killing her was not the plan, after all.

His sanity was always walking a very fine thread, but now more so than ever. He couldn't afford to lose his head, not now.

Barty sat down on his bed and clutched at his head, digging into his scalp and grabbing a fist of his brown strands of hair, the pain reminding him of what was real.

She was still here, they wouldn't touch him if she was here. She wouldn't let them.

Barty repeated the mantra, until it filled him with enough comfort to lull him to sleep. Or as close to sleep someone like him could get.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Hermione couldn't sleep. She was extremely disturbed and unnerved by all that had happened. Or rather, wasn't happening.

Barty had actively participated in one experiment. One.

But ever since the meditation (failed meditation, she added in her head), he had been as reclusive as ever, doing his utmost to avoid her. He hid himself in his room, he went out for walks around the garden, but never at the same time as her.

And to make matters worse, she was due back home tomorrow. She was already leaving and she had nothing to prove for her time here.

"What am I going to do?" Hermione groaned and sank further into her pillow, hoping the weight might fold it to swallow her up. She was too tired for this, she had no idea how to proceed. What sort of Unspeakable was she? She couldn't control her subject, she didn't dare disappoint her superiors . . .she had nothing inspiring her anymore. Just a list. A list of ridiculous tasks.

She sighed. "All right."

Hermione rose from bed and put on her cloak and shoes. There was little point in lying here, awake, and do nothing but mope. She might as well use her time to do something else.

With careful steps, she walked downstairs and out to the garden. The air that hit her as she ventured outside was cool and still, and nothing but the stars was on the sky above to light her way. Hermione preferred it that way. A moon would just scare her.

"Expecto patronum," Hermione whispered. An otter appeared and Hermione smiled at her friend. "Hello you, it's been a long time."

The otter danced around her, and she twirled with it, a laugh escaping. It felt good to laugh.

It feels good to know I'm still capable of recalling happiness, she thought to herself. A tad dramatic, she admitted, but it was something she felt all the same. This place wasn't a happy place.

After a few minutes of practicing the patronus charm, she felt strangely encouraged, and continued enchanting objects to fly at her so she could attempt protecting herself. After this, she continued recalling every other charm she knew.

It was like flexing a muscle, it was as if she had only been exercising one particular part of her body, with her everyday spells. But to return to the spells she'd learned during the D.A. was . . . something else entirely. It was there, in memory, her body remembering what to do, but it was rusty. And when she summoned a near perfect Reducto on a tree Hermione couldn't help but let out a shriek in happiness.

It was then that she saw him. He was standing by his window again, watching her.

Hermione stopped and watched him back.

How long he had been standing there, she wasn't sure. But she could see that whatever he had witnessed had him interested. Or rather . . . no, it wasn't interest. It was something else. He watched her with an intensity that could only be described as hunger.

He wants to use spells too, Hermione thought. We're depriving him of this.

Barty watched and then he wasn't watching anymore. Hermione let out a breath.

It was best to return to bed, she reasoned. Hermione wiped a drop of sweat off her forehead, and she was sure that, this time, she'd be asleep in no time.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Please stop that."

Hermione's foot stopped its brief tapping, and resumed the stillness she had attempted to keep until now. However, it was becoming increasingly difficult.

Opposite her, across his desk, Unspeakable Croaker was none the wiser. He went on signing parchment after parchment, never speaking unless Hermione did something to annoy him.

"Sir," Hermione tried again, "Would you please tell me why you summoned me here?"

Croaker waved a hand, telling her to wait a second, and Hermione had to restrain herself from jumping and attacking him with enchanted birds. Then, after a moment, he finally set aside his quill, and rested his old eyes on her.

"How is the experiment going, Unspeakable Granger?" he asked.

Hermione gaped. "Er . . .how do you mean, sir?"

The Head of the Department of Mysteries had the nerve to look impatient. Croaker sighed and repeated his question. "Is there any progress? Is the subject compliant? Any changes in his behaviour of late?"

Hermione thinks on what to say. How should she answer this question? The obvious thing would be to tell the truth, but something in the back of her mind urges cautiousness—telling her that something wasn't quite right. Why ask if there was any development of late? Hermione sent reports regularly, her boss should be informed already. Unless he had reason to believe something had happened to Barty. Could he have known about the sudden shift in mood?

Hermione mentally scolded herself. What this was was nothing other than residue from the times before the war, when you weren't sure who to truly trust and thought that adults had their own agendas and obligations to people other than yourself. Harry had taught her that. Umbridge had reinforced it.

But Harry defeated Voldemort and Umbridge was laying low somewhere on the continent after the debacle that was her Ministry work during the war.

Nevertheless, Hermione's next thoughts led to Barty. What would happen to him if she decided to tell them about his refusal to participate? Would they call an end to the experiment? Would they throw Barty back into Azkaban to casually keep an eye on him or would they do as they'd promised: strip his magic away and thereby killing him?

Knowing the answer, Hermione decided on what to say. She smiled. "It's going well. There's been progress and I can assure you that the subject is behaving as well as ever. I'll send you a new report by the end of the week."

Croaker nodded, interest lost now when there were no real news. "Very well. You'll return again tomorrow evening and keep us updated. Won't you, Unspeakable Granger?"

"Of course, sir."

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The portkey activated and for once Hermione was relieved to use it. She couldn't stay at the Ministry any longer, the weight of lying to her superior lay too heavy. Why had she done it? Why had she lied?

When she arrived and saw who stood waiting for her in front of the door, she remembered.

Oh, right, Hermione thought. Because of him.

"You're back," Barty said.

Hermione refrained from scoffing. "Yes, clearly."

As she moved to walk inside, he followed.

"What did you do?" he asked. "Where were you?"

"That is none of your concern," Hermione answered, hanging off her cloak and removing her scarf. She turned to where he stood behind her. "Now move, please."

Yet again, a man ignored what she said. "It is my concern. Very much so. You're supposed to be here and study me. Can't do that if you're not here, can you?"

"What are you going to do if I don't answer, Barty?" Hermione dared, her patience running thin. "Hurt me? Threaten me? Stand close to me and refuse to move?"

She glared up at him and it is then that Hermione really had a chance to look at him. And she had to hold back a gasp as she did.

It wasn't as bad as before, not nearly, but that the haunted look from last time she left him was back. The shadows under his eyes were easier to dissect when she wasn't scared for her life, and she noticed . . .she couldn't help but realise, that they look disturbingly a lot like someone had performed a Crucio on him.

"No," Barty lied, after reading her thoughts.

Hermione had no time to worry about him invading her thoughts, she was too worried. "I've known enough Crucios to last a lifetime, Barty. It doesn't leave any scars. Not visible ones, anyway, which makes it so useful to people like . . ."

His eyes say it and her thoughts betray it, but neither of them finish the sentence.

She finally blinked and cleared her throat. "Anyway, though there aren't any scars, there are still ways to tell if someone has been subjected to the curse. Barty . . .what happened while I was gone?"

Barty watched her, brows furrowed, and a hand reaching for her cheek. He moved a piece of her short hair back behind her ear. "You're still asleep."

Hermione's breathing got heavier, feeling his touch on her, his hand threading its way through her hair. "What do you mean?"

He growls, his fingers digging into her hair, and for some reason it makes something in her stomach flip. And not in a bad way. Except yes, yes, in a bad way. "I don't blame you for being blind. I've waited before, but this time I'm running out of patience."

"Barty . . ." Hermione tried to get the words out, but there was so much happening all of a sudden, that she had a hard time even forming thoughts. "What . . . what do you want from me?"

Barty's eyes dart from her lips to her eyes, his tongue sliding out to lick the edge of his mouth. His gaze is dark and heavy and it reminds Hermione from how he looked the other day, watching her do spells. He had a want, a need . . .he looked hungry again.

But this time she wasn't sure what it was he hungered after.

Then, he smirked. "Your boss seems like a cunt."

Hermione startled. How far back in her mind had he dug his way through? If he saw Croaker, then that meant . . .!

"Yes, thank you for lying for me, Hermione," Barty whispered, leaning in even closer than before, a mere breath away from her lips. "Now . . .nevermind what I want, what do you want?"

And that's when he licks her.

It's not a kiss, but it's enough to snap her out of it.

"GET OFF!" The shield activates and knocks Barty to the wall. She worries for him, but that disappears as soon as he begins chuckling. Hermione wipes at her mouth, her lips burning from the rough fabric rubbing against her skin. "Stay away from me!"

Barty continued his chuckles and though he's the one on the floor with his clothes ruffled and in disarray, from the way he acted, one would think he was the one who'd won.

"If you truly wanted me to stay away, Hermione, I wouldn't even have been able to touch you. But I did," Barty added, his lips dragging their way up. "I did."

Hermione couldn't hear anymore. Couldn't see anymore.

She fled upstairs, as fast as she could, summoning every protective enchantment against him when she'd closed the door. No way was she waking up with him standing above her bed. Ever.

But how did he get so close? she asked herself, tears threatening their way out. How was he able to get through without me alerting the runes? Where had the shields been when he got so close?

Her mind was a mess of tangled webs and the more she tried to pry them apart, the more she discovered she was unable to. When had everything got so mixed up? Why had they?

Of course . . . she knew the answer. Every evidence pointed to it.

Hermione collapsed against the floor, realisation hitting her hard:

She cared about Barty Crouch Jr.


~o0o~


A/N: LOVELIES! OMG! It's been like a year? What the duck?

I'm so sorry for the long wait, I have no idea how it got to this point, like honestly!

Anyway, I thank you for your patience and the fact that you still leave comments on this story! You guys rock!

Until next time!
/Primrue