A Broken Promise
Bolt ended up still meeting with Mittens the following days. Their friendship began to feel different for him though. He felt more confused than ever about his feelings. She even asked him if he was okay and she didn't ask that often. He didn't feel like himself around her anymore. He lied to her, of course, and she didn't question it further, but he felt like she knew he was lying anyway. He didn't feel okay at all.
He admitted to feeling different around her, but it felt normal to her as if nothing was wrong. That only frustrated him even more. He couldn't tell her what was bothering him or rather he didn't want to. It annoyed him, it frustrated him, and it confused him. After a few days, he stopped meeting with Mittens and avoided her altogether. He needed some space and time alone.
A week passed without seeing or talking to her. He felt withdrawals. Every night that passed, he wanted to go to the lake to meet her, but he figured she stopped coming after the first couple nights anyway since he stopped without saying anything to her. He wondered if she cared enough to come find him first to talk to him. He wondered if she thought about him every night like he thought about her still. Somehow, he felt like he didn't need to hear the answer because he already knew.
It hurt him now to see Mittens. Knowing they will be nothing more than friends even though he felt so close to her. He didn't hate her, but he wanted to hate someone so he hated himself. She liked him as a friend, a best friend and that's just how it is. He realized there wasn't anything he could do about it, but that only made him feel even more down.
He wanted to cut it off. Cut off his friendship with Mittens. It caused him too much pain to see her now. She had moved on and he needed to as well. He realized once she got a boyfriend, he wouldn't be able to be her best friend anymore because she would have him to share everything with instead. When he thought about it, it hurt him like a dagger through his heart, but his heart was already broken.
The sun was setting. He slowly got up and left his temporary home for the last time. He would miss the tranquility.
Mittens was nowhere to be seen at the lake. He wasn't really expecting to see her since he was the one to stop coming after all, but he still hoped maybe, just maybe, she still cared about him. He looked out at the lake to admire its beauty, but memories of his first night here with Mittens flashed back. He swore he could feel her paws hugging him again. He shook it away and left the park with his head and tail drooping. But right as he turned at the gate of the entrance, he bumped into someone. He apologized until he realized who it was.
"Mittens?"
"Bolt! It's nice to see you. Where have you been?" She went up to him to rub his flank with hers.
"I've been around, just busy."
"I missed you." She glanced at him. "You're so thin, have you been eating?" Bolt hadn't realized his ribs were starting to show. He had forgotten to eat in the past week or just didn't feel hungry due to his divided mind.
"I missed you too," he admitted truthfully. "I've been busy. Life of a celebrity." He joked.
"Well, it's not healthy!" She scolded him, but smiled. He grinned back. For a minute, he thought that he could make it all work out. He would tell her he loved her and ask her to go back home with him. They would be together and spend the rest of his life with her every day. He almost changed his mind. Like always, she mesmerized him and gave him false hope on a future that wasn't meant to be, even if it wasn't intentional.
"I'm leaving, Mittens." Her eyes widened.
"What? So soon?" He felt his heart ache, but he tried his hardest to not let it show.
"Yeah, business. I need to get back to the studio." He lied. He turned around with his back towards her. He wanted to run away right then and there. Leave it all behind for good, Mittens, his past, his feelings.
His love.
But his paws stayed put. He couldn't move them and he felt his legs shaking beneath him as if they were about to give away.
"Are you okay Bolt?"
"Yeah," he replied bitterly and felt a lump swell in his throat. He felt himself about to completely break down, but he took in a deep breath, trying to calm himself. She padded beside him, hoping she wouldn't notice him about to break down.
"Well, that'll be good right? Being back on the set, doing what you love?" She seemed so sincere. As if she was truly disappointed that he was leaving. Maybe she was, or maybe that was just him trying to convince himself. He couldn't tell anymore.
"Yeah," he avoided looking at her "I'm looking forward to it."
There was silence after that, awkward silence. Bolt decided it was time to leave, before he changed his mind.
"I have to go." He still wouldn't look at her. He took a few steps, but stopped when she called out to him.
"Wait, when will I see you again?" This time, she didn't follow him and he was grateful for that. A million answers ran through his head. Never. Soon. 'I don't know' was the only honest answer he could think of, but he couldn't bring himself to answer with that.
"One day." He looked back at his friend one last time. "You take care of yourself, Mittens."
He ran off before he could hear her say anything else. He ran as fast as he could. Every part of his body told him to stop, that it wasn't too late. He didn't have to give up what he wanted. He could go back, tell Mittens everything, and ask her to go home with him. They would live their lives together.
Maybe in his perfect world, but the world wasn't perfect. He wanted nothing more than to be with her, but there was no turning back now. He didn't want to burden Mittens with any guilt. He didn't want to end it, but he had to. He did it for Mittens.
