7

The next day, Voyager reached the wormhole and was back in the Alpha Quadrant once again. There was no fanfare, no honor guard of Starfleet ships to greet them. They were just another Starfleet vessel passing from Gamma to Alpha Quadrant. It felt strange and yet reassuringly normal at the same time, Kathryn thought, as she turned the bridge over to Tuvok and headed for sickbay.

When the sickbay doors swished open, she was greeted by a much different sight than the one she had seen twenty-four hours earlier. Chakotay was sitting up on his biobed, his color having returned to normal. He still looked a little weak, but his cheeks had a little pink in them, and he was dressed in his uniform.

"You're free to go, Commander," the EMH was saying. "Just make sure to let me know if that shoulder gives you any trouble."

"I will, Doctor. Thank you."

"All in a day's work, Commander. All in a day's work."

Chakotay chuckled as the Doctor shuffled off into his office; then he noticed his visitor. "Kathryn."

"How do you feel?" She took his arm to steady him as he slid down off the biobed.

"A hell of a lot better than I did."

"How's your shoulder?" Her hand hovered over the area that had not long ago been covered by a green sac.

"It's still a little stiff, but the Doctor says it's going to be fine. And all the green stuff is gone." He grinned.

"Good."

He saw the shadow pass over her face and noticed that she had not let go her grip on his arm. "Walk me home?"

She nodded, and as they walked back to his quarters, she filled him in on the Kerhonkset situation and all that had happened while he was recuperating. When they reached his quarters, he entered his code and they stood in the open doorway. "Well," she said, "I should let you rest."

He yawned. "I never realized how taxing it could be to walk from sickbay to my quarters."

"Yes. Well." She looked at her boots and then back into his eyes. "I'm... I'm really glad you're okay, Chakotay."

"So am I." He noticed her hesitation and almost invited her in, but another yawn reminded him that he really was too tired for company. "What are you doing for dinner tonight?"

"Dinner? I don't know. Going to the mess hall, I guess."

"Have dinner with me, here, tonight. After I've had a chance to take a nap." He smiled, showing off his dimples.

"Okay."

His smile grew brighter. "Good. 1900 hours. You bring the wine."

"Are you sure the Doctor would approve of you drinking wine in your condition?"

He laughed. "How many times did I bring you a cup of coffee when the Doctor told you that you couldn't have any, Kathryn?"

She joined in his laughter. "Fair point. I'll see you tonight then."

He caught her hand in his and gave it a brief squeeze. "Tonight." She nodded, and the door swished shut behind him as he entered his quarters. He stumbled into the bedroom and was fast asleep only moments after removing his shoes.

Kathryn, on the other hand, was restless. 1900 hours couldn't come soon enough. She retreated to her ready room for a couple of hours to finalize her report to Admiral Henry. Then she did something she had never done since she had taken command of Voyager seven years earlier. She took an unscheduled afternoon off. Tuvok was perfectly capable of captaining the ship through Federation space, and she was only a comm call away if anyone needed her.

She went to her quarters and took a long, hot bath with her favorite bubble bath. She lounged in a chair with a cup of hot coffee and read a book. She took a whole forty minutes getting dressed for dinner, and she tried not to think too hard about why she was putting so much care and attention into her appearance. It was just dinner with Chakotay. They'd shared hundreds of dinners during the time that they'd been on Voyager together. But something told her that this one would be different, and not only that, she wanted it to be.

At 1905, she rang the bell to Chakotay's quarters, hoping she had not misjudged by wearing civilian clothes. She was relieved when he appeared behind the door in black slacks and a loose, white cotton shirt. She handed him the wine she'd chosen. "Hope you like it."

"You look beautiful, Kathryn. Come in."

She blushed as she stepped inside, and a wonderful smell assaulted her senses as she took in the dimly lit room, the lighted candles on the table, and the soft music playing in the background. She breathed a sigh of relief, realizing she had not miscalculated at all. "How are you feeling?"

"I napped almost all afternoon. But I feel a lot better. Really." He opened the wine, extricating the cork from the bottle with a satisfying "pop." He reached for two glasses to pour for both of them, and then saw the troubled look on her face. "Kathryn, what is it?"

She wrung her hands together nervously. "We need to talk."

"Okay." He looked at her with genuine curiosity on his face.

"Sit with me?" she motioned to the couch, and he followed her, sitting beside her but not too close. She looked down at her hands and wrung them together again.

"What's on your mind?"

"I just... Well, I..." She stopped and started awkwardly, knowing what she wanted to say but unsure how to say it. He waited patiently. "I'm really glad you're okay. I've been worried about you."

"Thanks." He sat quietly, sensing that there was more to it than that.

She looked out the window towards the stars as she continued, "I know I'm not the easiest person to be close to. I know that especially over the last year, it's been hard."

"I haven't always made it easier."

She held up a hand to stop him. "You always tried. At any rate, our circumstances were difficult to say the least."

"That's true. What are you trying to say, Kathryn?"

She offered him a rueful smile. "I guess I'm not being very articulate, am I?"

"No, but I can be patient." He grinned, trying to lighten the moment.

She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "I've never told you how much you mean to me. There are a lot of reasons why, but the bottom line is, I never told you, and I should have." She felt her emotions rising to the surface, and the words began to tumble out. "I don't want to lose you, Chakotay. You mean so much to me, and I... I need you. I didn't realize how much until I thought I had lost you forever. But now you're here, and..." She choked up, reaching blindly for his hand.

He interlaced his fingers with hers and wrapped his other arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him. "I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded, sniffling and clutching his hand. "The thing is, neither of us can really be sure of that, can we?"

He sighed, his tone becoming more serious. "I guess not, in our line of work."

She savored the feeling of his arm securely around her, his chest under her head, his musky, masculine scent. For several minutes they didn't move, and then Kathryn asked, "Do you remember what you said to me in sickbay?"

He chuckled, his broad chest vibrating under her ear with the sound. "Do you mean, was it just part of my drug induced haze?" He felt her nod against him. "No, it wasn't. I remember exactly what I said."

"Say it again."

His chest rumbled with soft laughter again. "I said," he repeated, punctuating himself with a kiss to her forehead, "that all that time, I was dreaming of coming come with you."

She pulled away so she could see him, and took both his hands in hers. "That's what I couldn't tell you in the forest. I stopped dreaming of Mark a long time ago. Ever since, I've imagined coming home to be with you, too."

His eyes widened with surprise. "Really?"

She nodded.

He gathered her in his arms and pulled her into an embrace, unsure whether to laugh or cry. "Kathryn, why didn't you ever tell me?"

She wrapped her arms around his back and pressed her cheek against his chest. "I don't know. I didn't want to jeopardize our friendship with promises I didn't know if I could keep. I wanted you to feel free to pursue other relationships."

He pulled back from her, holding her at arm's length. "Yet you were upset when you learned about my relationship with Seven."

She nodded, and he reached up to brush an errant tear from her cheek. "Much more than I thought I would be."

"Oh, Kathryn," he murmured, pulling her into a hug. "Why do you have to make things so complicated?"

She laughed into his chest. "It's what I do, Chakotay. I would have thought you'd be used to it by now."

"I am, and I love you for it, but please, next time, don't wait till I've come back from the dead to tell me what you're really thinking."

"I promise, I..." she started to respond, but then pulled away abruptly. "Do you really mean that?"

His brow wrinkled as he tried to figure out what part of his statement she could be referring to. When he realized it, he smiled and took her face between his hands. "Of course I do. I love you, Kathryn Janeway. I tried to get away from it, but I couldn't, and here I am, as stuck on you as I was three years ago, and as I'll be three years from now. I love you, and I'm in love with you, and now I'm going to kiss you."

Before she could say anything, his lips were on hers, probing, tasting, exploring. The kiss was long and sweet, filled with wonder and possibilities for both of them. When they finally separated, he tugged her hand, pulling her into his lap.

"Chakotay, I love you, too."

He pressed a kiss against her neck. "I know that now. But it's nice to hear you say it out loud."

"Dinner is probably cold by now."

He tightened his arms around her. "We can always warm it up. I'm very comfortable where I am right now."

She sighed and kissed his jawline. "Me, too."

He stroked her hair with one hand and made lazy circles on her knee with the other, enjoying the feel of her in his arms, taking in her sweet scent, savoring the way her body seemed to mold perfectly to his. "We'll be back at Earth tomorrow."

"Yes." She lifted her chin to kiss him again, and what started as a chaste greeting between their lips quickly became a passionate lovers' embrace.

When they had to break apart to catch their breath, Kathryn leaned her forehead against his, her hands interlaced behind his neck. His fingers traced patterns up and down her spine, making her shiver. "I'm sorry."

"Why, my love?" he asked as he caressed her cheek and ran his hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry I never told you. So much pain could have been avoided."

He tilted his head away from her so he could look her in the eyes. "I don't think we'll ever know what would have happened. What matters is that we're here now."

She nodded, and kissed him full on the lips, then pulled him into a fierce hug, straddling his lap and pressing her whole body against his. He returned the embrace, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "Are you sure this is real?" she asked after a moment, her voice muffled by his shoulder.

"I think so. But I guess there's only one way to find out," he replied, mischief evident in his tone. He pinched her arm.

"Ow!"

"Oh, sorry," he said playfully. "Did that hurt? I didn't mean to." He reached around behind her and pinched her bottom, and then her side.

"No, Chakotay, don't!" she squealed as he started to tickle her in earnest. But he didn't stop, he deposited her onto the sofa, and soon she was squirming under him on the couch, both of them roaring with laughter.

Laughter gave way to soft moans of pleasure as tickling became gentle caresses and butterfly kisses. Then, he spooned her next to him on the couch, and she sighed contentedly. Outside, the stars whizzed by. They were speeding towards Earth at warp speed. "Do you know how many times I fantasized about doing this over the last seven years?"

She shook her head.

"Too many to count. So many times, I just wanted to hold you in my arms like this. Nothing else. Just simple, together, watching the stars go by."

"Nothing else?" It was her turn to tease as she wiggled her bottom against him.

He groaned. "Well, sometimes I thought about other things, too."

She smiled and turned to face him, meeting his lips for another kiss. "I wished you could hold me, too," she whispered.

"Well, now I can."

"We can't continue like this," she said after a moment.

She felt him tense. "What do you mean?"

"As captain and first officer. Not if we're going to..." She waved her hand between them in a vague gesture.

He laughed and kissed her forehead. "I'm sure we can work something out. There are lots of other ships, other positions. Maybe I'll apply to teach at the Academy. Maybe we'll both resign and have a ranch somewhere with dogs and horses and a dozen kids."

His grin told her he was joking, and she rolled her eyes. "We're a little old for a dozen kids, don't you think?"

"We're in the Alpha Quadrant now. Anything is possible."

She raised an eyebrow. "I can tell you right now, some things are not possible."

"Or, maybe you'll get promoted to admiral and I'll get to be captain of Voyager."

"Don't bet on it."

"Even better, you get demoted, and then I can finally find out what it would be like if you served under me."

"Don't push your luck, Commander," she replied, emphasizing his rank.

They laughed together and then lapsed into silence as Chakotay's expression became serious again. He reached out to brush a lock of hair out of her face. "We're going home again," he said softly.

She nodded. "Yes. And this time it will be the homecoming we've always wanted."

He pulled her to him and found her mouth for another deep kiss, and while their dinner got cold, they anticipated the days to come and enjoyed each moment as it passed. They had never known that coming home again would be so sweet.