CHAPTER 7

It is a subdued group around Jane's bed. She was off sedatives and following her meeting with the doctor earlier, she was deflated. Maura never imagined that she will see the feisty detective so defeated.

Her brothers tried to cheer her up, but Jane would acknowledge them with a sad smile. That was hardly encouraging. Her mother tried to share a few words of wisdom, but Jane did not even look at her. There was an uncomfortable silence for a while.

"I want to be alone." Jane spoke for the first time.

"But Jane –" her mother protested.

"Just fuck off." Jane yelled.

Angela glared at her and then bended over her to kiss her cheek. The rest of the family followed suit and left. Only Maura remained.

"You too, Dr. Isles."

"No, I don't appreciate to be spoken to in such a crude way." Maura answered.

"Well, go write another fucking complaint. I don't fucking care. It is not like I can be a fucking cop in any case." Jane yelled.

"Why not?" Maura asked.

"Why not?" Jane asked angry. She tried to push herself up, but winched in pain from the strain on her hands. "Did you seriously just fucking ask me why not? Because Maura. I need my fucking hands to handle a gun. Where in your fucking life have you ever seen a fucking detective without a fucking gun?"

Maura came closer, trying to help Jane up.

"Don't you fucking dare to touch me." Jane screamed.

Maura took a step back, giving Jane a warning glare. "You are acting childishly."

Jane's eyes grew even larger. "What?" she asked in a dangerously low voice.

"Yes, Jane Rizzoli, you are acting like a child. I do acknowledge that you are not in the best of circumstances, but you are still alive. But instead of being grateful – "

"Now I see!" Jane snarled. "The great Dr. Isles expects me to fall to my knees and thank her for saving me."

"No, Detective Rizzoli. I expect you to savour life and live it to the fullest. Not everybody cross path with a deranged serial killer and live to tell the tale."

"I rather he killed me. If I am not a cop, I am nothing." Jane whispered.

"That is bullshit, Jane Rizzoli. You are not defined by your occupation. You are a person that has a presence that others always will admire. That is before you started this pity party I always admired your strength and courage. Now I feel sorry for you." Maura condescended.

"I don't want your pity." Jane lashed out.

"No you demand it!" Maura lashed back.

Jane gave her a glare that would have brave men covering. Maura was no brave man though. She just glared back.

"I would so like to punch you in the face right now." Jane's eyes shot daggers at Maura.

Maura could not contain her brilliant smile. "Fortunately for me you can't punch me at the moment."

Maura turned her head slightly and Jane could not resist her. She gave a weak smile of her own.

"Can I help you now?" Maura asked politely.

Jane nodded. After Maura got her settled, she sat on the bed next to Jane.

"I am sorry for going off on you." she apologized.

"I am sorry too." Jane answered. "I . . . I am just scared that I will be a cripple. Dammit, Maura, the doctor said that I may never gain functionality of my hands again. What will I do if I can't even feed myself or help myself on the toilet?"

"Humans have the ability to adapt, Jane. There are thousands of people living independently without hands in the world. If they can do it, so can you."

Jane looked away, but Maura turn her face back.

"Do not admit defeat, Jane. You are a fighter and that aggression might just help you to regain functionality."

"Do you really think so?" Jane asked unsure.

"I do not guess, Jane. You know that. But I know that you will definitely not gain anything if you don't at least try."

TBC