Anybody there? I kind of forgot about this story... *sheepish/ guilty smile* But I finished it up because I really hate how I get so close to finishing a story and then get consumed by another idea. So if the ending is a little rushed, I truly apologize. But this isn't it- one more chapter.
I collapse onto my bed. It's been three days since my encounter and I haven't seen Derrick since. The meetings have been on hold because Ms. Myner is currently with her husband in Paris, visiting her sister.
The phone buzzes on my nightstand and I reach for it, groaning. I'm tired, and my mother's blooming romance with Christopher isn't helping things. In fact, my mother and I are barely on speaking terms. Sure, we go about our business like we always do, but there's something wrong. There's a tension in the air that's never been there before. But now it's suffocating us, squeezing us so tight there's barely room to breathe.
It's Claire, wondering if I'll go down for lunch. I fire back a quick reply, heave myself out of bed, and check my reflection in the mirror. When I get there I see it's not only Kristen and I, it's Derrick and Cam, too. Oh, great.
Claire stands at a table set for five, smiling at me. Cam smiles and Kristen gives a hug, but Derrick does nothing more than nod at me. Trying not to feel discouraged by this gesture, I take the seat next to him.
"Hey."
He blatantly ignores me and my shoulders sag as I turn back to my menu. What's wrong with him? His gaze flickers between Cam and Claire and the guy Kristen has brought along- Dune or something.
"I gotta tell you something," he says in a low voice. He barely glances at me. "It's really important."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah." There's a moment's pause as I wait for him to speak. "I… do you remember that Paris trip I mentioned?"
"Yeah… what about it?"
"They… they called today. Said the program was starting early."
I keep my eyes on our other friends, who are ignoring both of us, taking a sip of my water quietly. "How early?"
"Next Tuesday." At this I stare at him, a crease forming between my eyebrows.
"But… the concert." And I don't just mean that. I mean our friendship that's bloomed in the past weeks. I mean the bond we've developed that could quite possibly be cut by a year abroad.
"I know. But I can't say no."
"I'm happy for you, really. I just…"
Derrick nods, glancing around the table before standing. Everyone falls silent, waiting for him to speak. He glances at me before clearing his throat quietly.
"I just need some time alone… with Massie. Order for us? We'll be outside for a while." He holds out his hand I take it, confused as I spot Cam's knowing glance with Claire.
Once outside he stalls for a few moments before clearing his throat.
"Look… I never thought that I'd ever want to stay here. But now that I finally have the opportunity to leave, I have something tying me to this place, and I'm reluctant to leave."
"Your friends," I clarify. "They're what are holding you back."
"You're holding me back. I can't leave you, Massie."
At this my head feels light, and he's suddenly closer than ever before. I can barely think of a response before he pulls me into his arms, no words needed.
After what feels like a long time, I pull away. "You have to leave," I tell him, even though it hurts me. "You're more than I ever wanted, but how could I live with myself if I was the only thing standing between you and your dreams?"
"Massie…"
"No, no.," I say with a tone of finality. "You're going. You must." My voice cracks and I have to remind myself that I'm doing what's best for him. Staying here isn't an option.
"We have a week," he finally sighs, and that's when I know he's finally accepted it. "A week to spend together."
"We've had the whole summer," I remind him with a weak smile. "We just took it for granted."
He nods, leaning forward. For a moment I think he's going to kiss me, but he just reaches forward to catch my hand in his own. This feels different from being with Landon- more hesitant, less sure, as we both have barriers that have yet to be broken down- but it feels just as right.
The days that follow are like a dream. We spend every moment we can together, and my affection for him grows with each passing moment. I don't love him yet, I know; the pain of Landon is still haunting me even during these peaceful days. But I know that I'm close, and I know that when he leaves I'll miss him just as much as I missed Landon.
The day he leaves I go with him to the airport, never once letting go of his hand on the way there. Linda is driving, trying her best not to glance at the mirror to watch us with intrigued eyes. I can see that she's pleasantly surprised by the change in her nephew; I know I am. He's more open now, and rarely closes back up the way he used to.
When we reach the gate Linda gives him a tight hug before going off to see about 'the luggage policy'. And that leaves Derrick and me alone. We aren't trying to be that cliche couple that stages a romantic scene in front of the airport gate, but it turns out that way. I try not cry, but I'll miss him. He's been ripped from me so suddenly, and I wish we had more time together.
"I'll see you soon," he promised me, sealing it with a kiss on the cheek. I nod, but I'm fighting back tears, and he knows it. He moves to envelope me in one of his warms hugs that I've grown used to, and his quiet whisper tickles my ear. I already know what he's going to say, and he already knows my answer. But he insists on asking it again and again, even though I know he agrees with my response every time.
"Tell me to stay, and I won't go."
I manage a sad smile and shake my head. I can see the silent battle waging within him- not wanting to leave but not wanting to stay. It's been raging all this time, and I hate to see him like this. I'll be the strong one in this situation, if it's come to this.
"It's only a year," I reminded him. "I'll miss you like crazy, but summer will be here soon."
"Not soon enough," he mumbles, but he moves towards the gate as the flight attendant starts taking tickets. He trails his finger along my jawbone, lingering before falling limpy to his side. I don't want him to leave; not now. Not ever.
"Practice that French," I remind him in an attempt to stay composed. He gives me a half amused look, shaking his head. "Are you going to wait for Linda?"
He shakes his head. "She can be a bit emotional. I'll just… I'll just go."
He turns slowly, and he's barely taken two steps when a heartbroken tug pulls on my heart and I cry out, "Wait!"
He's barely turns around when I fly towards him, giving him a loving kiss. Tears flow through my closed eyes as he wraps his arms around me tightly. We both pull away, and I lean my head against his chest, not caring that people are starting to stare.
"Massie…"
"I'm sorry. I just… I don't know what came over me. Go, go." I practically push him away and desperately try to wipe away my tears. "Call me when you get there, okay?"
He looks as though he wants to say more- and for a second I'm half hoping he will. But then he hesitates. He looks down at his hands and nods slowly. "I… I can't do this."
"Derrick… You can! I know-"
"No, no, I really can't. I thought moving to Linda's would be the perfect place to shut myself out of life and be alone… but of course you had to live next door. I can't lose another person I care about."
I reach up to his face with a sad smile. "You aren't losing me anytime soon, Derrick. I won't allow that. But you can't pass up this chance, you got that? Now… now, go on that plane, and don't look back."
"Thank you," he whispers as he leans in for another kiss. "I'll be home soon."
And then he's gone, and I'm forced to remind myself that unlike Landon, he'll be back.
