Breathing felt different now. It felt like more. Like a wind coming back to fill the sails after a long stall. Life-long stall, it seemed. But it didn't matter now, because wind has come back. For both of them.
Fergus got up first from this blissful haze – he didn't want to but he had to. He retrieved some cloth and a bucket of water and cleaned himself the best he could. Then Fergus turned to the bed with few more clean pieces of fabric fully intent to do the same for Marsali – only she shied away immediately, knocking her knees together and trying to cover herself with a sheet.
Fergus smiled tenderly:
- Mon femme, you do remember that I've touched you in more than one way all over your body. You don't have to shy away now.
Marsali's made a face and some emotion between disgust and guilt crossed her features:
- It's not shy… It's just… I don't want you to see me like that. I think it's a mess down there. Maybe…
Marsali lit up on a thought:
- Maybe, you can go out for a bit so I can clean myself and change the sheets?
Fergus shook his head in disagreement:
- Marsali, I'm not going anywhere. Whatever mess you think is there, it can't be worse than this, - Fergus raised his bad hand to make a point, - and also, it's not your mess, I made it, I'll help clean it. We can change sheets afterwards.
Marsali bit her lip and looked around as if searching for something. Probably, not having found it, Marsali nodded in defeat and let go of the sheet she was holding in front of her life a shield. White cotton dropped to her waist revealing her round breasts with soft pink afterglow of her lover's touch. His breath hitched at seeing this and well-known warmth crept its way down his belly. Fergus had to remind himself that his blushing bride is newly a woman and won't be up for continuing this play for some time yet.
But soulful considerations rarely worked on his cock so young man hurried to go sit on the bed before his hunger became visible again. Fergus didn't want Marsali to feel obliged to let him in just because he wanted to. So badly! But… feeling entitled to woman's body is the straightest way to lose her love. And, as overheated as he was, Fergus still wanted Marsali's love and happiness more than her body. That was his constant.
Marsali took one cloth to clean her neck and chest, while Fergus cleaned her midriff and her thighs in a most gentle way he could manage. Marsali's skin rippled in goose bumps from his touch but that was not out of pain (she said so, at least) but out cold – water in the bucket was cold and Fergus was not planning going down to the kitchen to fetch some warm water instead.
Marsali teased him:
- Why? Afraid of the questioning cook is going to give you?
Fergus was not in such a playful mood on the matter:
- Afraid to leave you here alone with so many drunk men about the boat. They may be drunk because of OUR wedding but it will not stop some of them to barge in here to… share the bride.
Marsali recoiled as from a blow:
- They would do that? To a bride? On her wedding night?
Fergus nodded, disgust and anger written all over his face:
- Most of the crew haven't touched a woman in months, let alone few bastards who got lucky in ports. And the only two women on board are of captain's family. So, they won't try anything when sober… but I wouldn't leave you out of my sights when they are so wasted.
Marsali smiled:
- Then don't. Come here, - and she'd raised her chin asking for a kiss. Her fingers were cold and dump when she'd touched his face, but he didn't care. He threw his cloth to the bucket on the floor and set by Marsali. She didn't seem to mind either when his cold hands circled her waist to bring them closer together. Somewhere between the kisses, though, Fergus managed to say:
- The sheets. We should soak the sheets.
Marsali nodded and rose from the bed. It stung a little somewhere deep inside of her, but not too bad, very bearable. There was also this heaviness to her body, as if she'd just had a hot meal and a hot bath at the same time – very weird feeling but very pleasant one. She like it.
They'd collected the sheets from the bed and while Marsali made the bed with the new ones, Fergus soaked the old ones in the bucket making sure all the bloody smudges were in the cold water. Marsali followed his actions with surprise:
- You seem to know quite a lot on how to handle these situations.
- What? Bloody stains?
- Virgins.
Fergus dropped a bucket and water splashed all over the floor and his bare feet. His face became red and his expression hunted, he was trying to think of something to say but before he did Marsali added:
- It's all right, Fergus… Maybe it's good you knew what you were doing from before, maybe I'm better off for it.
Her voice was very even, almost too even. Distant. She sat at the bed and locked her fingers around her bent legs. Marsali was rocking back and forth a little, her gaze became unfocused as if she went back into her mind to consider something. When she came back, Marsali looked at Fergus who was still standing in the pool of cold water, frozen in anticipation, and said:
- I don't care that I'm not the first one. I only care that I'm the only one now.
Fergus flung himself to kneel before his wife, catching her fingers in his hand, kissing her white knuckles until she'd loosened the lock and let him to intertwine his fingers with hers. Marsali looked at him, so serene and beautiful and amazing and so absolute for him…
- Marsali, mon coeur, you ARE the only one! Since the time of our courtship, you are the only woman I ever want to lie with, to be with! You are my everything!
Marsali looked very please as she kissed his fingers in return:
- Good! Remember that because you may not like me when I'm mad!
Her husband nodded in all the seriousness to her very believable threat:
- Oh, I know, cherie, you are a fierce little fairy, I'll be sure to stay in your good grace!
He kissed her smiling lips, letting his happiness and desire flow and mix with hers. By the time they parted, both were breathing heavily and their eyes went darker a shade. But Fergus had to remind himself of her fragile state so he retreated to a more neutral ground of conversation:
- And also… you are my first virgin. I've never… It's just…
He sighted, reluctant to revisit that part of his life, but at the same time he felt like he needed to tell her this. Marsali was his wife. She had a right to all of his life, not just the presentable parts.
- When I lived in Madame Elise's house, I would help around in the kitchen sometimes. Sometimes it was the only way to get some food… Sometimes she would have a new girl… a virgin sold to the highest bidder for the privilege of the 'first night'… later they would send me to bring hot water upstairs… and bring the bloody linens downstairs for washing… back then I had two hands, so I'd do the washing too… if I managed to get rid of the stains completely, Madame Elise would reward me with extra meal.
Fergus smiled a very sad smile, getting down that particular memory lane. Things he'd seen in that house… things he'd gone through himself… What would've become of him if it wasn't for Milord? Would he even live long enough to maybe someday meet Marsali? But then again, what's the difference if he would never have been good enough anyways…
Marsali hugged him and brought his head to rest on her shoulder. She felt droplets of tears running down her breasts as Fergus hugged her closer, trying to hide his sorrows in a crook of her neck. Marsali threaded her fingers through his hair, soothing him:
- Shh, love, shh… You will never have to back again. This life won't ever find you, I won't let it. You are mine now and only mine. I'll protect you.
She was tiny, his woman. And light, and really not that strong… But then again, physical protection of her body is not what he needed. He needed comfort of her body, respect of her body, willingness and joy to be with him. And that she could give him. Already did.
Marsali spoke:
- I'm sorry I asked of it. I don't want you to hurt for my curiosity. I won't do it again.
Fergus raised his head, his eyes were so bright now…
- No, ask. I needed to tell you this. We will share a bed now and one night you may wake up from my nightmares. So, I want you to know that you are not to blame for them. They came before you and still come back to haunt me sometimes. And I'm sorry if it'll bother your sleep.
Marsali kissed him on the nose and then on both cheeks, erasing all the traces of tears.
- Then I will hold you, and sing to you, and send all your troubles away. That's what the wives are for!
Fergus crooked his eyebrow and smiled sarcastically:
- Oh really! Not to cook my dinner and clean my shoes?
Marsali looked pensive for a bit and then nodded:
- I'll consider doing those things as well, but only if you'd be a very good husband.
- And how does one go about being a good husband? Any suggestion?
Marsali brought his hand to lay on her breast and then pulled him in for a long and very opening kiss…
- I'm sure, you're natural…
And for a while they weren't talking much… verbally. Just with their tangled bodies, kissing noises, moans and occasional 'Oh, God, yes, more!'.
Natural.
