Baby heard his boots hit the hardwood floor as soon as he got home. God, she was worried about her brother.
"Hey!" She lurched at him to give him a hug, but he abruptly took a step back, turning his body defensively. "Sorry, sorry. How was your visit?"
"It...er...it was fine..."
"Just fine?"
He rubbed his face. "She's still not coming home tonight..."
"She will. Just give her some time."
"Yeah, well what about what I need in this?" He snapped.
"You need to stop getting yourself so worked up. Why'd it take you so long to get home? Her lunch break ends at 12:30. It took you 40 minutes to get back after that." Otis fell silent. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You ate lunch, but you couldn't keep it down." She sighed. "She's coming back to you, Otis. She loves you. You know that, or she wouldn't be trying."
"I'm fucking trying. I'm trying so hard and I'm not getting anywhere."
"Huh. A little taste of your own medicine, huh Otis?"
"What?"
"How you shut everyone out, even if they try and try? How long it took her to just crack a fuckin' smile out of you at first?"
"Fuck you!"
"That's what you always say when you know someone is right."
"Goddamn you, Baby, I don't need this right now! I don't need a fucking lecture from you!"
Baby smirked. "At least you're fighting back again. I was so worried, seein' you so rolled over all the sudden with everything. Good to see you're comin' back, Otis." She swatted his ass as she walked away, hearing his breathing hitch. She looked back in time just to see him shudder. "You alright?"
"Fuck..." he muttered, backing up against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. He shuddered once more, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Otis?" She approached him carefully, reaching to touch him. He flinched. "Hey...Snap out of it..."
"I'm fine..."
Baby hesitated. "...They're not just nightmares right now, are they?..."
Otis swallowed heavily, looking at her. His eyes were so sad and broken. She hadn't seen that in him in a long time. "I'll leave you alone, okay?..."
He just nodded and retreated to his room.
When she was done with her shift, she drove to the Firefly house. It was relatively late, around midnight, but she knew Baby would at least still be up. She had the day off the next day, and it didn't matter how late she stayed out.
Baby turned when she heard her footsteps into the house. "Hey! What're you doin' here?"
"I just...came to check on him, I guess..."
"He's havin' a real tough time of it, sweetie...I don't think he quite realizes yet that you'll be back. He still just fuckin' hurts. All he knows is that it hurts that you're not here..."
"I kind of figured that, too...Where is he?"
"In your room, but I doubt he's asleep."
"What? It's midnight. He's never up."
"You know how he's flinching?"
"Yeah?"
"It's not just nightmares anymore. They're like...full on flashbacks or hallucinations or somethin'. I don't know if it's because he hasn't been eating and his body's just had enough of it, or if he's mentally really that bad right now, but it's bad."
"What? He ate today..."
"Yeah, right. You think he kept that down? It took him 40 minutes to get home from seeing you."
"Dammit, Otis..." She climbed the stairs, quietly opening their bedroom door in case he was sleeping. She really wanted to surprise him.
He was sleeping, but she knew it wasn't a heavy sleep. His breathing hadn't slowed enough for it to be.
"Otis..." She shook him lightly. "Otis, wake up, baby..."
He groaned, not turning over to her.
She giggled. "Come on, sleepy." She kissed his cheek, wrapping her arms awkwardly around him. He jolted awake, flailing against her. "Shhh...Otis...It's me..."
"Holy shit! Baby!" He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her roughly to the bed and squeezing her, kissing her indiscriminately. She giggled, squirming.
"That tickles, Otis!" She drew back away from him to look at his face. He was smiling. Genuinely smiling for the first time since their fight. He pulled her against him, hand on the back of her head and nuzzling into her neck. "Baby..."
"I love you..."
"I love you too."
"Are you going to stay here tonight?"
She sighed, hesitating. One night wouldn't hurt...They could start to work things out tomorrow, then. "Yeah...Just tonight. I don't have to work tomorrow."
He peppered her with kisses again, and she had to pull away so she could breathe. He was smiling that big goofy grin of his she loved so much. It hadn't hit her how much she had missed him until now.
"Otis...I love you so much..." She reached up to stroke his face, stopping when he flinched. "...Baby told me why you're flinching..."
His smile faded. "What...?"
"Baby...You...You can't keep doing this to yourself...I need to have an Otis to come back to..." She felt him bristle. He was fighting against saying something. "Go ahead, Otis...Say it."
"No. I don't want to fight anymore."
"Otis, we need to talk about this. Come on. Say it. Tell me what you're thinking."
"You may need an Otis to come back to, but this is fucking destroying me..."
"Baby...You do know I'm coming back, right?"
"See, that's the thing. I...I don't believe that you are."
"Babe...I promise I am-"
"Yeah, but you promised you'd never leave me and never hurt me, too. You promised you'd never use the secrets I told you against me." He sighed, rubbing his face. "Fuck, though...I trusted Cutter after the shit he did to me...I'm not exactly good with learning my lesson."
Tears welled up in her eyes. "Baby...Please, please listen to me." She sobbed. "I am coming back. I...I'm so, so sorry I did that to you. I never meant to hurt you like I did. I was just angry. I love you more than anything. I could never be entirely separated from you. I...I know this is destroying you...I...It's killing me, too...but I don't want to hurt each other more before we've gotten ourselves straightened out..."
"Why do you think being separate is better? I...I...I'm struggling so much because I've become so dependent on you, because I love you so much. D...do you understand how risky that is for me? I've always been hurt. Always. But I trusted you and you just fucking left after the shit hit the fan. You couldn't wait to get away from me."
Tears poured down her face as she sobbed. "No...No! That's not what I meant by leaving! I...I...I love you...Please, please trust me again...Please...You've trusted me almost three years...I'll earn it back, I promise. I promise I'll make it up to you..." She clung to his chest, sobbing. She felt him stroking her hair, and she looked up at him. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I never meant to hurt you like I did. Please...Please don't think I'm like Cutter. Please don't think I'm like everyone else. I'm not! I...I just...I just got mad...And I said awful hurtful things and did awful hurtful things..."
"Shhh...We'll be okay, remember?" He kissed her, letting his hands fall to her waist.
"I love you..."
"I love you too."
