I wake up the next morning a little earlier than I normally would. I showered, brushed my teeth and hair, and then started trying to pick out what I was going to wear. I brought back up dresses…just in case. I picked the cocktail dress anyway, and threw it on the bed. I went into the bathroom to blow-dry my hair and apply make up.
Should I straighten my hair? Yeah I should. It'll help my red streak show up better. Should I put on eye liner?
Yeah I guess I should. Eye shadow…I'll go for smokey eye. God I'm so nervous, I hate this.
I finish with my face and hair, and look into the mirror. God I look hot. So why am I so unsure about everyhitng?
I decide to stop staring and get dressed, resigned to my fate. I need to shake some nerves loose so I turn on Dexy's Midnight Runner's 'Come on Eileen,' and try to dance the nerves out.
I heard a knock on the door. So I shut off the music to answer it.
Kyla, of course. I let her in so she can start her morning bitching schedule.
"Ashley, put on some clothes! We need to leave soon."
"Kyla, the wedding doesn't start for another 4 hours, beside I was just about to put on my dress…" I said while picking it up.
"I know but we want to be there to see her before she goes up there, right? And you need to put on other clothes, you get dressed when you get there. Everyone knows that."
"So I guess I'm not everyone, then?"
"Just get dressed, come on."
Great now I have to find something ELSE to wear. I decide on my patented dark skinny jeans and some flats, and my 99 Luftballons shirt, and packed up my dress in with Kyla's in her fancy dress…holder.
"So where is it we're heading on this fine morning?" I ask, suddenly aware that I have no idea where the wedding is being held.
She opened her mouth to speak but then Aiden knocked on the door. Soon, it was too much in my room so we left to go out to the car.
Everyone had their clothes in their holders… what the hell are those called?… and we started driving in through the heart of the city. An hour of traffic later, I finally look out the window to see if I recognized where we were. After living in this city my whole life, learning to drive here, I was pretty good at knowing where we were.
I see Kyla glacning at me from the front seat, as I take in our surroundings.
I gasp. LOUD.
"Kyla what the FUCK?!"
Aiden grabbed my hand, as I had just lunged over Jake to try and strangle my sister.
"Ashley it's not her fault, we knew you wouldn't come at all if you knew it was at the Carlin's house!" Aiden tried to defend her, as he was also trying to hold me down.
"I can't BELIEVE you guys wouldn't tell me it's being held here! Do you think this is a fucking joke?" I'm panting as we get closer and closer to the house.
"No, Ashley, we don't, we thought….we thought…."
"You thought WHAT?!"
"Stop yelling Ash!" Aiden finally let go of me. "We thought this would be good for you. We thought…you could talk to her. Get some stuff off your chest that you've been holding in. Besides only the wedding is held here, but the reception is somewhere else. In some building near by."
I start trying to control my breathing. Don't get me wrong, I still wanted to kill everyone in the car, but I needed this to go well. So I started the breathing excersises my therapist told me to try out.
I guess it's about time to start listening to the dude I pay so much money to, to fix me up.
Aiden aprehensively looks at me while everyone starts piling out, except me and him.
"Ash, you're my best friend. You know I wouldn't do any of this just to hurt you. I'm trying to help you. You know that. I love you, and Kyla and Sean love you. The other two, they don't really know why everyone was just freaking out, I think, but I know they love you too! So come in there with me, stay by my side, hold my hand. We'll get through this together. But I know something good can come of this. Okay?"
I slowly nod, and he hugs me.
I hate to admit I feel better.
He helps me out of the car and grabs his clothes and mine, and takes my hand in his other.
I give him a quick kiss on the cheek, and we shut the door and head toward the front walk way.
I haven't seen this walkway since the night she broke up with me. I haven't seen these lines in the sidewalk, the weird shaped bushes…the upstairs windows…in 7 years. Every step I take is throbbing at the broken places of my heart I had done so well to shut out all these years.
We get to the door after what seemed like an hour walk, and we knock.
"ASHLEY ON MY GOD!" I see a rush of beautiful black skin as a body collides with me, almost knocking me clean over.
I laugh, momentarily forgetting I am standing in the doorway of the pit of hell, because I'm so excited to see her.
"Chelsea! Holy crap you look like the most beautiful bride I've ever seen, you getting married in those jeans?"
"Hahaha! You haven't lost your sense of humor I see!" Get your ass in here, we're gonna talk!"
"She drags me into the front entrance room, and I try to keep my eyes down. I train my feet to guide me through without having to look up, as I'm pushed onto the couch, Aiden on my heels, and hounded for information about everything I've been up to, besides what she's heard on the radio, and how proud she is of me for actually doing my dream up right, like I've always wanted. We talked for a good 30 minutes, people coming and going, me not recognizing any of them. Yet.
Someone came in to tell Chelsea they needed her upstairs, something to do with the dress, and I got a reprieve. People were starting to thing out in the house, everyone going to the backyeard where I assume the wedding was being held. I walked to the back room to look out there, telling Aiden I was fine and he could go ahead and go out and say hi to everyone. Kyla was already out there, talking to Madison and Glen. Clay was nowhere to be seen… but there was Paula in the middle of the yard. All the sudden I was glad I was inside, safe.
I tried not to focus on her, and tried to focus on something else. Something else that had been nagging at me. I start wondering around on my own, nonchalantly creeping, when I heard a voice behind me.
