Keeping his mind tuned to Alex when she was within a certain vicinity had become habit for J'onn. Normally, this was only something he did in the DEO, but now...he found himself worrying about her more. He stood outside of the door, wondering if Alex really wanted him there. Though he knew that he shouldn't use his powers in this way, he didn't want to push her. The feelings that he felt, though, it was enough to tell him that Kara had been right to send him to check on Alex.

Sadness.

Despair.

He brought his hand up and knocked on the door, gentle but loud enough that Alex would be able to hear him. The key that Kara had given him was in his pocket, just in case. He saw now why he needed it. It wasn't likely because Alex couldn't make her way to the door, but rather if she was in such an emotional state that she refused to answer it. J'onn stood there, waiting and listening. He was trying to be patient, but it was difficult.

J'onn could feel Alex, though. He could sense that she was coming and a few minutes later, he could actually hear the clacking of the crutches. Eventually, the door was opened and he found an exhausted and quite irritated Alex looking at him. He put on a smile for her. "Hi Alex."

"You know...I know Kara gave you a key-"

"I didn't want to scare you again."

"Well, Kara also texted me and said that if I didn't, I might end up needing to replace my door," Alex told him as she hobbled back on her crutches.

He entered and closed the door behind him. J'onn immediately noticed that she was putting weight on it, but she didn't look good to him. It wasn't that she looked sick, it was just...she didn't have the same spark that he was used to seeing. There was a sadness about her. Maybe even defeat? It worried J'onn and he could tell that Kara was right in asking him to see Alex. "I thought you weren't talking to Kara?"

"She still texts...a lot."

"She's worried."

Alex moved to the couch and lowered herself down before replying. "I know," she said, sounding like she was in a bit of pain. He tried to ignore it, to keep his concern from showing. "I just...I needed some space."

"I think that your sister is just concerned about you and wants to be here."

"She has...just...I've been a horrible sister in return," Alex admitted. "She's been making sure my fridge and cupboards are stocked with all my favorites. She's even been bringing Redbox and then returning it."

J'onn moved further into Alex's apartment. This wasn't a place he was familiar with. He sat in the chair across from Alex. "I know that you're not happy with me."

"It's not you-"

"I told you-"

"I'm not strong enough," Alex interrupted quickly shaking her head. "I would be liability for you to have me on base...let alone in the field in any way. I can't defend myself. If there was an escape-"

"Alex, I just wanted you to have the time to properly heal," J'onn said gently. He knew that she was upset, even if she wouldn't admit it. She was trying to rationalize things and he wasn't sure if he appreciated it or not. She was right, though, if there was something that happened and Alex couldn't take care of herself… Sure, he'd try to keep her safe, but he couldn't guarantee that he'd always be there or be right by her side. Of course, the real danger was not keeping his promise to Jeremiah Danvers, that was what really worried him.

"I…"

He stared at her, waiting for her to finish what she'd started. She just didn't look right and it was killing him. J'onn wanted to pry, to push, but he knew that he really needed to let Alex tell him what was going on with her. He just wasn't sure if he could sanely wait for her to volunteer the information.

"I'm starting to think that I'm not coming back to the DEO," Alex admitted fearfully and he saw the tears filling her eyes.

That had caught him off guard.

"No one's said that," he told her. "You are strong...and stubborn." She was a Danvers, he was fairly sure it was genetic. "Alex, you're going to be back at the DEO. It's just going to take you longer to get back to where you were before Erndine-"

"Made sure everyone knew how fragile I really was?"

J'onn took a moment, partially to slightly glare at her and partially to let Alex breathe. She felt what she felt and she was entitled to feel that...even if she was wrong. It was a bit frustrating, but he knew that Alex also needed to voice her own opinions. It was better that she get all of those negative thoughts out to him, to work through it, because eventually she was going to have to see a psychologist and just talk through some things since she had been through a really traumatic ordeal.

"Erndine is a Kryptonian, Alex," he reminded gently.

"I know," she huffed.

Even though Alex was human and trained in combat, there just wasn't any way she could go head to head in hand to hand combat with a Kryptonian without any enhancements or advantages and expect to be victorious. "Alex, you're not thinking clearly."

"Of course not! I'm stuck. I can't go anywhere, not really! I'm going to stir crazy in this place and it doesn't feel like I'm making progress...not enough progress!" Alex vented. "I'm not one to just lie around the house all day...for weeks. I need to get out of here. I need to see action, even if it's from the base. I need to be part of something. I need to do my job."

"Alex-"

"I'm afraid and I hate that. I hate being afraid and letting that fear take over and turn into something darker," Alex rambled. It was like it exploded out of her and likely it was something she'd been holding in for weeks.

"Fear doesn't have to make you cruel or cowardly… fear can make you kind. It doesn't matter if there's nothing under the bed or in the dark, so long as you know it's ok to be afraid of it. So, listen. If you listen to nothing else, listen to this. You're always going to be afraid, even if you learn to hide it. fear is like… a companion. A constant companion, always there. But that's ok. Because fear can bring us together. Fear can bring you home."

Alex stared at J'onn for a long moment before a smile spread across her face. "You've been watching 'Doctor Who'."

"Someone wasn't returning my texts, so I couldn't ask for company," J'onn said.

Alex nodded. "You're right, though if you'd said 'Doctor Who' marathon, I might have called."

"I'll remember that for the future."

She seemed to relax some and J'onn hoped that she'd stay that way. Seeing Alex so upset and wound up only made him worry about her and feel worse about the situation. "So, this means I'm still doing random paperwork from home?" Alex questioned.

He knew that she'd wanted more. The doctor really wanted her to rest and to take things easy, but maybe the doctor didn't know best. J'onn was starting to wonder if they needed a specialist. When Alex had been originally brought into the DEO, they'd ensured that she had the best doctors and surgeons. He'd stressed to them all that Alex needed to be able to be healed to the point of resuming her job (which meant being in the field). They'd all promised that it was completely possible, but that it was going to take work and time.

The time was the harder factor when it came to Alex. J'onn knew that he really couldn't blame her for being frustrated about where her progress was. All he wanted to do was to be able to make it better, to protect her in any and every way he possibly could. He really wished his super healing ability could be bottled or used even in a temporary injection fashion in order to speed Alex's recovery.

"No," he said slowly. "We'll work something out."

"But the doctor-"

"Doesn't have the clearance for the DEO."

Alex stared at him for a long moment. "I'd be a liability-"

"There would be rules."

"I can follow rules."

J'onn stared at her for a moment. He could think of several times where Alex had gone against his rules over the last few months. Though, given all of those circumstances, he wasn't surprised...but still.

"Okay," Alex said and looked away for a moment. "But I usually have my reasons."

"I've noticed."

"They're good reasons."

"They usually involve Kara."

"Sometimes they involve you," she pointed out with a smile.

That was true.

"But for this to work, for me to be okay with you being at the DEO with your…"

"Weakness?"

J'onn huffed and pointed a glare at her. "I was going to use the word limitation."

"That's the same thing."

"Alex-"

"What kind of rules?"

"Following my orders for starters would be necessary," J'onn told her. He was starting to think that this obviously self denigrating Alex was going to be a lot harder to deal with than the normal version. He loved Alex, but she was already a handful to keep her on the path that he wanted her to be on at the base as it was. He felt like even though he needed to do this for Alex's mental health, he also was going to need to be in the same room with her at all times for his own.

"I-" Alex started and then frowned a bit. "Okay. Okay, I get it."

"I'm not going to let you out of my sight, Alex. I know that you can handle yourself still in many situations, but there are some where you would require assistance."

"Assistance you would provide?"

J'onn was quiet for a moment, he could tell that she didn't appreciate that caveat. "I don't like to make promises that I can't keep," he told her quietly.

"You're talking about my dad, aren't you?"

Nodding, he knew that he might seem overly protective, but could she really blame him after everything that had happened to her? The Martian Manhunter and Supergirl couldn't save Alex from Erndine. J'onn wouldn't allow Alex to be hurt like that again, it was one thing if Alex could defend herself or if she was back to one hundred percent. Right now, that wasn't the case. "I don't want you to think that I'm diminishing your-"

"Okay."

Her response had been quiet, small. J'onn stared at her for a moment. "He was a good man, Alex."

"He was."

"You know, I've noticed that you don't talk about him much."

"He's gone," Alex told him with a slight shrug. "It's been over a decade." She was quiet for a long while. "I used to hate him for leaving…"

"For dying?"

"It was hard, when we took in Kara at first," Alex admitted. "I was always so close with my dad. I never understood before why he was always gone...about the DEO...what he was trying to do...that he was protecting us...protecting Kara. Which is probably good because I might have blamed Kara, even though it wasn't her fault." She was quiet again. "I was a teenage girl who needed her father and I had a mother that was pushing responsibility for my sister that I didn't want at the time."

"I wish I could have saved him."

It was the truth.

"Our lives would have been so different," Alex pointed out.

"I would be dead," J'onn admitted.

Alex was quiet at that admission. They both were. "My dad, I like to think that he's watching over us all. I think that he would be proud of us. Of Kara, of me, and of you. You, J'onn, have done so much for us…"

"I didn't exactly recruit you to your dream job."

"You don't know how wrong you are," Alex admitted with a small smile. "Otherwise I'd have ended up in a lab somewhere. Likely, I'd be the laughing stock of the community or completely bored out of my mind."

"When I was training you, to put you in the field, I always figured that you hated me for it," J'onn admitted. The training had been tough and in all honesty, J'onn had pushed Alex even harder and further than any other agent. He needed to make sure that not only could Alex take care of herself, but she needed to be the best one in the DEO. He needed to know that even if he died, that Alex would be able to take on the world and win without him there. He was confidant that he'd done that.

"I won't lie. It wasn't a comfortable or thrilling process at first. There was a lot of ice and a lot of bruising."

"You made it through that," J'onn reminded. "You'll make it through this."


Alex had come into the DEO for one day and it had gone fairly well. The second day had been exhausting. She'd reminded herself that this was what she wanted. She'd wanted to go back to work and do as much as she could convince J'onn to allow her to do.

"Are you sure about this?"

Her head pressed up against the headrest and rolled to the side to look at him. "Yes." It was a lie. She wasn't sure. Alex's leg wasn't too pleased, but she had her pain pills in tow and she was going to ice it and prop it up in order to keep the swelling down. If she didn't go in one day, she was afraid that J'onn would start to really worry about her.

"Alex," J'onn said in almost a growl as he looked over at her briefly, their eyes meeting.

Putting on a smile, she hoped that it was appease J'onn. Apparently not, because she got a bit of a glare from him. She let out a sigh. "It's going to be hard, right? We talked about this. There was a pep talk."

"I do have something for you, for your recovery, that will be arriving today," J'onn told her. "I'm hoping that it might speed it along or at least ease the discomfort you're feeling."

Her interest piqued at that. She sat straight up and looked over at him. "A prize?"

"A prize?" he echoed in clear confusion.

Alex let out a quick laugh. "Kara and I say that when it's a surprise or a present. It makes whatever it is sound normally far more exciting than it might normally be."

"Not sure you'll consider this a prize."

"If you've arranged it special for me, then it's a prize."

He gave her a small smile. "I did."

No matter what J'onn had arranged, her day was already brighter. How could he be practically encouraging her to go home after having arranged something for her? Wouldn't he want to give it right to her today? Plus, there was the fact that they were practically already at the DEO. She should have been really the one to ask if he was really certain that he wasn't sick of driving her to and from work yet.


The prize that J'onn had arranged for was an upgraded leg brace and sleeve. It had been constructed by Palmer Technologies out of Star City and he'd even arranged for the person who invented it to get clearance and to be brought on site in order to make sure that it fit properly along with instructing her in how it worked.

"I won't lie, this place is sort of freaking me out," Curtis Holt admitted. "I mean, there's some pretty scary shit that goes down in Star City...but this place…"

Alex just smiled down at him as he opened up the briefcase he'd brought with him. "Don't worry, I'll protect you."

"You sound like my boss."

"You must have a good boss."

"Oh, I do," Curtis said quickly. "She's one of those bosses that's more like a friend than a boss. It's probably because she actually understands the science behind everything I do, sees the potential for my inventions, and is a genius."

"Careful, my boss just might offer you a job."

"Don't think I'd ever leave my job with Ms. Smoak unless there were some phenomenal benefits and a job for my husband already in place."

"Depends on what he does."

"Physical therapist."

"Well, he's probably better than the one I have right now."

"You know how we met?" Curtis asked, but didn't wait for her to reply. He was busying himself with untying her shoelace on the injured foot. "I had an injury and Paul was my physical therapist."

"What kind of injury?"

"Achilles tendonitis."

"It took me a while because I was too focused on it being fixed and he said I needed to focus on healing," Curtis told her. "Which, I didn't get at the time."

"It's not the same?"

Curtis smiled up at her and carefully removed her shoe. "Apparently not, it's a mindset. You get too focused on wanting things to go back to normal. You're used to being out in the field and running around, so that's what you're focusing on. That's what you're measuring your recovery by."

Alex just stared at him. "Yeah…"

"They told me how long it was going to take for me to heal and I threw that number out the window," Curtis explained. "I knew I was strong and that I could push myself. I thought I could slice that number in half at the very least. I didn't think about how that was affecting my body or me as a person. I got too focused on that and it made my recovery all the longer and all the harder." He shrugged. "The only real bonus to it was how much I got to see Paul until I finally figured out what he meant."

"I'm still not sure it makes sense to me," Alex told him truthfully as she rolled up her pant leg to reveal the air brace that her doctor had given her.

Curtis gave her a confidant smile. "Maybe not today, but you'll see...it'll click." He pulled out a gray sleeve and held it up. "Okay, down to business. It really doesn't matter which side is the front or back," he explained as he slipped it around her foot and up her leg. "It's made from carbonized charcoal and germanium, which release negative ions while you're wearing it. It's supposed to help enhance comfort and your mobility by increasing blood flow and the delivery of oxygen. It should also reduce swelling and pain." He slipped it into place and took a moment to adjust it properly on the lower section of your leg. "If your scar is still sensitive, I'd recommend just keeping gauze taped over it until it's a little better healed."

Alex nodded and just watched him. That's what she had been doing. "It's a little tight."

"Just a little, right? Sort of like a supportive sock?"

Tilting her head to the side for a moment, she thought about it and then nodded. "That's probably about right."

"Wear all of this under your pant leg," Curtis told her. "Otherwise it won't be very effective, plus...the line indentations from the pant fabric tends to be a bit painful with the brace strapped down."

"Noted."

Curtis pulled out the black brace. It didn't look like it was going to really be much different than the one she already had. It just seemed to be of a different design. "I call this thing a web brace, but you can call it whatever like," Curtis said. He completely bent the brace over backwards and rolled it up to prove how flexible and elastic it was, but would go back into the correct shape afterwards. "So, it's obviously flexible and will move with you. It should also help with energy dispersion and shock absorption because of the web design, which should add to the pain relief. Just because it's flexible and moves with you, though, doesn't mean that it's not going to supportive."

Alex watched as Curtis slid the brace up into place, watching carefully as he secured it with the velcro straps. It felt tight, but not too tight. It was definitely deceiving after watching him flex it, but it was definitely supportive and it actually felt stronger on her leg than the aircast her doctor had given her.

"Let's get you up," Curtis said and got to his feet. He had a huge smile on his face, beaming with pride.

"Am I your guinea pig with this thing?"

"Well, I mean...technically...it's a prototype," Curtis said. "But my track record is good?"

Alex really didn't care if it was some kind of rogue experimental device. All she cared about was feeling more normal. "I'm only supposed to put partial weight on it," she informed him. It felt better, but Alex didn't know if it was just because she really didn't feel the brace. She was actually fairly certain that no one would be able to see it once she put down her pant leg, either, not like the other one.

"I can always put a stirrup strap on another one, if you feel like you need it," Curtis told her. "Actually, any and all feedback would be great."

"Of course," Alex said as she set her foot down and sort of just took a moment to feel how it felt. She was nervous. Of course she wasn't one hundred percent or even eighty percent, but she was worried. "What if it doesn't work?"

"Then I make another, a better one," Curtis told her with a shrug. "Everyone is different and so is every injury."

She just sat there, running her hands up and down the brace. She wanted this to work. Alex knew that Curtis had said that his husband said that it was more important to focus on the healing rather than the result that she wanted to see, but Alex couldn't stop thinking about how much she loved her job and how frustrating it was that she couldn't even be sure that she'd get back to her full range of motion with her leg.

"You're nervous?"

"Yeah."

"Look, i get it," Curtis told her gently. "I do. I really do." He was quiet for a moment. "If it helps, I can promise you that if this brace doesn't help that I'll keep working on it...and if your body needs a little more then Palmer Technologies might have a nanotech solution for that, but really...that should be our last and most desperate solution."

"Like nanites?"

Curtis nodded.

"Creepy."

"Like I said, desperate solution." Curtis grabbed her crutches and held them out to her, prompting her that it was obvious time to see how the brace worked and felt.

Almost reluctant, Alex took the crutches and then carefully got to her feet before moving the crutches into the proper position. Slowly, she walked with the crutches. She paused a few steps in, just trying to take in how it felt.

"What's wrong?" Curtis asked.

Alex started to walk again. "Nothing," she admitted with a light laugh. "Actually, I feel strong enough that I don't need the crutches."

"Okay, so we're not going to do that."

She turned and looked back at him, he looked concerned. "You work miracles, Curtis."

"If your doctor said only partial weight, then you need to keep that up," Curtis reminded. He was obviously concerned. It wasn't like Alex was just going to drop the crutches and start jogging around the DEO. "I told you, healing over expectations about where you should be. It's hard, but it's worth it."

She was trying to remember that, but already she felt better. Maybe it was the fact that she wasn't making sound with each movement that the aircast had been making or maybe she was just more hopeful...or maybe the damn thing was just a better cast that did exactly as Curtis had advertised. Whatever it was, Alex felt better. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

"Okay," he said and grabbed his suitcase. He held out his hand and shook Alex's hand. "Very nice to meet you...and see your creepy cave-like secret military base," he said awkwardly as he looked at the ceiling. "Seriously...this place is likely the most dangerous place you could be during an earthquake."

Alex just smiled in response. "What if I need to get ahold of you?"

"Right," Curtis said and pulled out a business card. "Cell phone and e-mail is the best way to get ahold of me if you need anything."

"Excellent," Alex said as she looked over the card.

There were already escorts waiting for Curtis and she noticed J'onn waiting behind them. He likely wanted to check in with her and see how well he had done with her prize. "I think these agents are ready to escort you back to the airport."

"Oh, I'm ready," Curtis commented. "I promised Paul that I'd bring him some mint chocolate chip ice cream home if I land before he's asleep."

Alex looked down at her watch. "You might make it."

"Good luck, Agent Danvers."

"Alex."

"Alex," he replied with a smile.

"Thank you, Curtis. Have a good flight."

J'onn approached her as the team escorted Curtis Holt out. "He's a good guy," Alex told J'onn with a smile. "I like him."

"Ms. Smoak was insistent that he come out here and explain how it all worked," J'onn informed her. "The company has a lot of promise as far as their new tech goes." He motioned to her injured leg. "How's it feel?"

"Like I could go without crutches," she admitted brightly. The look she got in response told her that that wasn't what he wanted to hear. Before he could 'Alex-' her, though, she spoke again. "But I'm going to do the partial weight bearing like I'm supposed to...I promise," Alex insisted. "It's just...it doesn't hurt as much and...I don't know...I guess maybe between the brace and the pep talk from Curtis...I feel a little more hopeful." She paused for a moment. "You know, if we ever need a brilliant tech guy, we should steal him...we just have to make sure we also have room for a physical therapist on the payroll so his husband could come along too."

"I'm hoping that I don't have to worry about any more of my agents becoming so severely injured that they need PT in the future," J'onn told her, a small smile creeping onto his face.

"Also, thank you for my prize."

"I'm glad that you like it."

"Best prize ever," Alex told him as the moved towards his office. "But don't tell Kara I said that."

J'onn just smiled in reply.


TBC…