A/N: Hello my lovelies! I am so sorry that this chapter has taken so long! The good news is I have successfully completed one year of grad school. Hurray! I ended up doing some major re-writes on this chapter and was too busy for a while to make them happen. Hope you enjoy!


They drove home in silence. When they arrived Kensi went immediately into her room and closed the door as Deeks slowly packed up his and Monty's things. It didn't take long and soon he was standing in her living room which was now void of all his possessions. He tentatively knocked on her door and she opened it slowly.

"I'm going. Just…make sure you take your meds okay?" his voice was thick with emotion.

She nodded, her eyes red from crying. "Deeks…"

"It's okay," he told her. "It's okay. I'm good. I'll just uh, I'll just get Monty and go." Deeks looked around. "Where is Monty?"

Kensi stepped back to reveal the dog lying in the center of her bed.

"Okay come on boy. Time to go," Deeks encouraged him.

The dog didn't move. Instead, he gazed up at Deeks with big, baleful, brown eyes.

"Seriously boy, come on."

Monty refused to budge

"I think you might have a new roommate," Deeks told his partner, his attempt at humor a habit rather than a reflection of his current state of emotion. "Come on buddy. Time to get out of Kensi's hair."

Eventually Deeks resorted to grabbing his dog around the middle and hauling him off the bed. Monty let his whole body remain limp causing Deeks to grunt as he tried to lift his furry companion.

It took a huge effort but Deeks managed to pull his dog from the room and out to the living room. He turned when they reached the door. "Be good," he told his partner softly.

She nodded, her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

Monty made one last desperate move toward the bedroom but Deeks gripped the dog's collar and steered him out into the night.

He shoved the dog into the car and then climbed into the driver's seat. He gripped the steering wheel tightly and set his jaw. He had to let her go. But it hurt like hell.

Deeks glanced at Monty as he pulled into traffic. "Don't look at me like that."

Monty's ears were hanging as low as he could make them and he stared at Deeks with a look of betrayal.

"We can't stay there forever," Deeks told his dog as much as himself. "We don't live at Kensi's. It's crowded there."

The dog continued to stare accusingly.

"Come on pal. You love our place! Your toys are there, your bed, and you can drink out of the toilet. Kensi definitely won't let you do that."

The dog put his head down on the seat and stayed that way for the rest of the ride.

"Home sweet home!" Deeks announced with enthusiasm he didn't feel as he parked the car.

He opened the door and Monty crept inside, curled up on the couch, and refused to make eye contact, no matter how hard his master cajoled him, until the detective finally gave up and left him alone for the rest of the evening.


Deeks didn't sleep that night. The thought of Kensi lying alone in her apartment ate away at him until he finally rose around 4:15 am and drove to the gym to blow off some steam. He arrived at work four hours later, exhausted, frustrated, and emotionally worn thin.

"Hey look who's back!" Sam said as Deeks walked to his desk.

"How's Kensi?" Callen asked.

"She's uh…she's getting there," Deeks said vaguely, putting his attention toward setting his desk to rights.

"And how are you doing?" Sam asked.

"Me?" Deeks looked up, "I'm good."

There was a pause. "Really?" Callen asked. "Because you look exhausted."

"Deeks!"

They all looked up to see Eric rushing down the stairs. He grabbed Deeks and pulled him into a hug. "I'm so glad you're back."

"Ah, yeah, thanks Eric. Me too," Deeks said awkwardly as Eric squeezed him tightly.

"It's been far too quiet with you gone," Hetty chose that moment to enter the room. "Welcome back Mr. Deeks."

"Hetty," Deeks said politely, working to keep his tone from sounding strained.

"No rest for the wicked I'm afraid," she told them all. "A case awaits you upstairs."

Deeks followed the rest of the team into Ops and half listened as Eric and Nell explained what was going on. His thoughts centered squarely on his partner, what she was doing, if she was okay. He felt naked without her on his hip.

"You heard the man, let's get to work," Hetty announced when Eric and Nell had finished.

Deeks tried to focus as the team began assembling game plan.

"Deeks and I will check out the crime scene," Sam said. "Good with you Deeks?"

"Yeah, sure," Deeks nodded his affirmative.

"Great, I'll take the house," Callen told them.

Deeks and Sam walked out to the Challenger and Deeks climbed into the passenger's seat. Sam started the car and pulled out into LA traffic. "You're quiet today," he observed. "Something on your mind?"

Deeks shook his head. "Nope. I'm good."

Sam glanced at the young detective. "You want to talk about it?"

Deeks looked out the window. "There's nothing to say."

"She'll be back, Deeks," Sam told him. "She's NCIS through and through."

"Yeah, well, that was before terrorists tried to rip her apart," Deeks said bitterly.

Sam sighed and pulled the car over. "Talk."

Deeks ran a hand through his hair. "She's not sleeping, barely eating." He looked down at his hands. "I wasn't enough. I couldn't bring her back."

"Deeks, it's not up to you to fix her," Sam told him. "She has to do that herself. She'll come around. Just give her some time. She's been through a lot."

"Yeah," Deeks said, "maybe too much."

"How many weeks did it take for you to get yourself together after what happened in that warehouse?" Sam asked. "You wouldn't even answer the phone. You needed that time. And when you were ready, you came back."

Deeks returned to looking out the window. "What if she doesn't?"

"She will," Sam said firmly. "Look, you need to get your head together. I can't have you worrying about your partner if somebody pulls a gun on us. Either you're here, or you're not. What's it gonna be?"

Deeks took a breath. "Yeah, I'm good. I'm here. Let's go."

"Good," Sam restarted the car. "She's going to be fine Deeks. You'll see."


They returned to Ops after a quick walkthrough of the crime scene with LAPD. Deeks was headed back to his desk when he was stopped by Hetty; her hands folded behind her back.

"Might I have a word, Mr. Deeks?" she asked.

Deeks looked to Sam who nodded before heading up the stairs.

Deeks followed Hetty to her desk. She took a seat and looked at him with that piercing gaze he'd become all too familiar with.

"How are you Mr. Deeks?" she asked.

"I'm here," Deeks told her.

She pursed her lips. "It's clear that you've come back to work, but are you really here?"

"Yes, of course," Deeks said. "I can do my job without Kensi."

"And how is Agent Blye?" Hetty asked. "Do you have any updates you'd like to share?"

"Couldn't tell you," Deeks tried to keep his tone civil, but his irritation was mounting with each second.

"I know you're angry with me, Mr. Deeks," Hetty told him. "Would it make you feel better to tell me about your frustrations?"

"I just want to do my job," Deeks told her. "That's all."

"Please don't think that I care any less about Agent Blye's wellbeing than you do," Hetty replied. "If there's anything I can do to help I would be glad to offer my assistance."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you sent her over to Afghanistan blind." The words slipped out before Deeks could stop them.

Hetty nodded slowly. "It's true, I did not tell Kensi everything I knew. I thought perhaps her judgment would be clouded."

"Well you made the wrong call," Deeks said bitterly.

"No one is disputing that," Hetty told him. "And no one regrets it more deeply than I. But we cannot change the past Mr. Deeks. We can only move forward. I hope that you will be able to forgive me for my miscalculations and allow me to assist you in whatever way I can."

Deeks blew out a breath. Fury still bubbled inside of him but it wasn't doing anyone any good. Hetty was right; they couldn't change what had happened. There was no choice but to move on.

"Keni's fine," Deeks told her. "She just needs time."

"Of course," Hetty said. "And you Mr. Deeks?"

"I need some time too."

"Very good. Back to work then."

Deeks rose and walked away from Hetty, feeling weariness deep in his bones. His eyes strayed to Kensi's desk, empty, forlorn and his heart caught in his throat as pain swelled in his chest. He would forgive Hetty, but he wasn't going to forget.


A/N: In case you can't tell, I'm still a little bitter toward Hetty and her part in the whole Afghanistan debacle. It was poor judgement. Which I feel like she shows consistently. I feel like Deeks really should have gone at her but then we're slipping into non-canon territory and I don't want to go there for now. Anywho, tell me what you thought! I promise the final chapter is coming your way soon!