Sima Zhao was acting lovey-dovey with Wang Yuanji and she is shrugging the advances off while blushing.

"I love you."

"Stop, we're in public!"

*more lovey-dovey gibberish* The camera pans over to Sima Shi with the "Forever Alone" meme face while a sad violin plays in the background.

*static*

Cao Pi tells Zhen Ji. "You're right, this relationship is over."

"Over?"

"Well, what's left to do except call it quits?"

"I thought we could take it to the next level!"

"Next level? What's beyond mind-numbing, tedious, and boring? I'll tell you what's beyond it. Death. No, thank you."

"But, Cao Pi-"

"I'm sorry, but it's time we based the truth. I have no romantic feelings for you."

"None?"

"None at all." Zhen Ji starts to tear up.

"Oh, com on, Zhen, crying doesn't solve anything. Believe me, it's better to end this now." He gives Zhen Ji a kiss on the forehead. "Goodbye, my friend."

"Oh, just get out!" Cao Pi turns to leave and Zhen Ji takes out a lighter and cigarette. When she flicks the light, Cao Pi ducks and rolls to the door quickly.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." Cao Pi opens the door to see Wang Yi.

"Oh, hi. You must be Cao Pi."

"Yeah."

"Forget it, Wang Yi, it's not gonna happen."

"What's not gonna happen?"

"I thought we could spice up our relationship with a threeway!"

"A threeway?"

"But then I realized you had no romantic feelings for me at all!"

"Now, hang on. I think you misinterpreted my remarks..." Wang Yi goes to hug Zhen Ji to comfort her.

"Aw, honey, I'm here for you."

"Now, see, you really need to be more clear about what you meant by the "next level. I'm fine with this. This could help."

"Oh, go to hell!" Zhen Ji shuts the door in Cao Pi's face. Cao Pi turns around to begin sobbing at the fact he just missed out on a threeway.

*static*

Xiahou Yuan was in a car with Xiahou Ba. He drives out the driveway with the back saying, "Just Married. (To my son.)" Cao Cao sees this and grabs Cao Pi's hand. Cao Pi immediately retracts his hand.

"No, Father."

"I don't know what normal is anymore."

*static*

Sima Shi and Sima Zhao as little kids (with British accents) run up to Zhang Chunhua holding something.

"Hey, mum, look at this thing I made for you!"

"No, look at the thing I made for you, mummy."

"Aw, you two don't need to compete for my affection." Sima Shi says out, "I can compete for your affection better than he can!" Sima Zhao says to him with a smile but is really pissed, "Hahah, it's funny because it's bullshit. By the way, when's Daddy coming home?"

"Zhao, your father has been gone for years now."

"Yes, I don't think he's coming back anytime soon."

"But he said he was just going down the shore."

"Your father said a lot of things." She looks off and mutters, "Like he had protection..."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

*static*

Guan Ping was eating cereal when Zhang Fei walks up to him.

"So, what are you getting me for Mother's Day?"

"You're not my mom." Zhang Fei looks over his shoulder with lip stick on.

"Or am I?" Guan Ping gets creeped out and the scene switches over to Zhang Fei talking on the phone. "Yeah, that idiot totally bought it. I'm getting a Father's Day AND a Mother's Day gift this year!" He jumps up in victory. "YEAAAAAAAH!"

LIFE HACK!

*static*

The Sima family was in a room when Jia Chong walks in. He had his eyes red and his hair stuck up like spikes.

"There's some awesome stuff in the garbage..."

*static*

Wei Yan talks to a woman with his caveman voice, "You. Me. Sex." They walk into a tent. Pang Tong turns to Huang Zhong, "Him legend."

*static*

Sima Yi walks into a room with Zhang Chunhua and they see a girl sitting on the bed.

"Sima Yi, there is a fangirl on our bed."

Sima Yi gets defensive and says, "Keep absolutely still, their vision is based on movement."

The two stand completely still. The fangirl is confused, "Where'd you go?"

*static*


First one was Smosh, next was from Two and a Half men, third was Family Guy, fourth was Nullmetal Alchemist (Fullmetal Alchemist Abridged), fifth was Smosh and the last ones were Family Guy.

What Jia Chong found was meth, FYI.

The original scene for the last parody was a hooker sitting on the bed, but I thought a fangirl is something Sima Yi is more likely to be scared of.