The Doctor had parked us just outside of a building that looked like some kind of hospital or laboratory, which made sense as the purpose of the building was to invent and manufacture new ways of healing the sick. They were supposedly the second best in the universe. The first being a race of Cat Nuns that the Doctor insisted weren't as good as they claimed to be but wouldn't go into it any further than that. It was a good sized building for the planet. To us humanoid creatures it maybe seemed a bit larger than normal but considering the locals were at least four inches taller than me in these shoes and I stood at a good six foot four inches it wasn't all that unusual. I was the first to take a step towards the building. My name was the one that brought chaos, the more feared of Harley and I, which meant I was the leader of us.
Jack could have gone first but I'd already said he was the muscle so he couldn't be the leader too, at least not on this planet. Martha could have gone as the actual doctor among us but she didn't know the planet or people so she didn't have the knowledge. I didn't necessarily remember it either but I had the benefit of them being too afraid of me to bitch about my social fauxpas. I took a deep breath and then stepped into the building. A blast of air hit me in the face and I was glad my hair was styled to be messy as it would have destroyed any other 'do. A glance at Martha's usual spike up-do proved me right. Half of it was now falling out and she just took the whole thing down and ran her finger through her hair to flatten it out. The benefit being she looked a little more like what the professionals around here looked like, except for her skin of course. The doctor's here were an almost pastel lavender with the nurses being three shades darker. Martha's dark skin tone would have been a problem for her if she wasn't from a different planet and wasn't looking to settle here.
A white rounded podium with a dark purple man in a golden toga stood in the middle of the hall we'd stepped into and I approached him remembering the man was the equivalent of customer service. He didn't look at us as we approached and I glared a little, knowing he was purposely ignoring us. As he was a dark purple, there weren't many people that he was socially superior too so I was betting he took advantage any time he could and since we weren't even purple he thought that made him better. I was going to have issues with that if he kept it up.
"Excuse me, we're here for a Pro-Pranthean heart facilitator. Could you tell us where to go to get one?" Martha asked politely when I motioned her towards the man. She was reading off the paper the Doctor handed her and seemed very pleased with herself when she managed to get it all out.
"Names and reason for needing said facilitator?" The man questioned sparing a curious glance at Martha before staring away again. His voice was bored like he wasn't really interested but the fact that he'd asked for the reason said he was.
"Martha Jones. I'm the patients primary physician. This is Owen Harper, the patient." She introduced and even she was getting a little frustrated.
"Why does the patient need a heart facilitator?" The man asked in that same bored tone.
"They are strictly regulated and no unauthorized persons may be in possession of said device."
"You are not a doctor, nurse, or medical practitioner of any kind. You're an information agent. Your only purpose is to provide us with information, not gain it yourself." I'd finally had enough and said as much with not just my voice. He finally took a real interest and glared down at me like he would say something scathing to me in retaliation.
"And who are you?" He questioned his voice changing to an annoyed bored. The people of this planet didn't have a lot of emotional range so they pretty much sounded bored no matter what. The annoyance in his voice was actually just about level with my own when considering that.
"Jacqueline Kyros Blake. This is my companion Harley Quin and Captain Jack Harkness, a warrior from the planet Christos Masses in case you weren't familiar with him." I spouted out and watched as Jack tried to hide his grin behind a grimace at the man. I was struggling to keep a straight face myself.
"Jacqueline Kyros Blake and Harley Quin were destroyed generations ago. Who are you?" This came from a new voice and I turned slightly to see an almost white woman walking towards us. She was just tinted purple saying she was very high ranking in this world. A slightly darker and younger girl walked beside her with a clipboard and glasses perched on her nose watching us carefully. The first woman seemed more intrigued than anything.
"We are demons. Beings beyond your universe. What makes you think we could ever be destroyed? And you would be?" I questioned my tone lightening a little as the urge to start giggling left enough that I could at least speak without difficulty.
"The Pro-Prantheon Heart Facilitator's inventor and guardian. I've heard stories of your companion and yourself in my youth." She said before turning to Jack and looking him up and down.
"I've also heard of you warrior Captain. A formidable adversary." Jack was fighting not to smile again as the woman seemed wary of him even in his Santa skirt and he sent her a nod of acknowledgment. The woman's eyes went to Owen and Martha and then back to us again. She seemed to be debating something and motioned the younger woman forward. She approached Owen and he backed up to stand beside me. I put an arm in between them and glared at the older woman while the younger one cowered before me.
"She was merely going to perform an examination to see if the device was needed. As you were told, they are highly regulated." She had a tone in her voice that said she was hiding something and I felt my anger skyrocket again. A wind blew through the room to rival the blast that had hit us when we entered as Harley took my hand and we both glared.
"If you are doing any examinations it will be in a proper facility, not your damn lobby and you will get the permission of the patient and his primary physician first. Do I make myself clear?" I said dangerously low, but another cheap trick had my voice bouncing off the walls to sound like it came from everywhere at once. The younger woman and the information agent fell away from me and the older woman staggered back in the force of the wind, her eyes wide in terror. Whe she was done nodding frantically, Harley released my hand and the wind died. When I spoke next it was back to normal.
"Well? Will we be going to an examination room or did you just want to hand over the device and let us be on our way?"
"I can't just give it to you without confirming a need for it. I would lose my funding and then be unable to create more or continue my research in other fields." The bored in her tone was nearly completely overshadowed with apprehension and I grinned.
"Examination room then. Lead the way." Harley piped up gesturing for the woman to move and we'd follow.
"My assistant will go see if there's any available." Again I got the feeling she was hiding something but ignored it as the younger woman took off. A moment later she returned and whispered something to the inventor who was nodding. Before she'd even turned back to us I could hear the sound of the TARDIS engine's phasing into existence behind us.
"It's the Doctor. Thank goodness. He may be just as destructive but he at least usually he is trying to help."
"Jack, I got a distress signal. Everything okay?" The Doctor questioned popping out of the TARDIS and coming to my side. I smirked at the alien and turned back to the group of purple ones who were slowly trying to make an escape.
"Fine. It seems our hosts were a little frightened a minute ago." The Doctor rolled his eyes at me and looked to the huddled group as well.
"You see, I covered my bases. I'm trying to help someone for once but being a bringer of havoc makes it a bit tricky. I didn't want to blow up your facility, or planet for that matter, without meaning too, so I called in some backup. Like you said, his explosions are usually helpful. He came along to balance out my chaos, not stop me. Now do you actually have an exam room ready or are you going to try and call in more of my backup?" There was silence for a minute while the woman studied me and the group around me, trying to determine if I was lying. The Doctor was standing at my side opposite Harley, blocking Owen further just in case things got ugly and Jack scooted closer to Martha and the dead man for the same reason. She apparently decided I wasn't bluffing and motioned for us to follow her. We all stayed a safe distance back with Jack and Harley taking the lead and the Doctor and I bringing up the rear to try and make the inventor and her assistant a little more comfortable and cover our backs in case she was fibbing again and stalling for time.
"The warrior from Christos Masses?" The Doctor's voice was low so only our group could hear and Martha let out a small chuckle in front of us.
"I couldn't think of anything better to explain his attire. It worked didn't it? No one wants to admit to being ignorant of other cultures." I used the same low voice he had trying to hide the smirk on my face when our guides turned around to glance at us.
"Only she'd heard of him before." Owen pointed out, "so your bluff didn't really work."
"Yes it did. She was bluffing the bluff. She'd heard the name but couldn't place it. Probably didn't even connect him to the Doctor until he showed up if she did at all. And hardly anyone in the universe knows where he actually comes from." I heard Harley whisper back to us slowing down just a bit to avoid being overheard.
"This room should do. I took the liberty of finding a room large enough for all of you to be present. Was it safe to assume you would not wish to wait separately?" The younger woman was looking at the Doctor with reverence as she spoke. I envied that look just a little. I got fear while he got reverence for doing the same stuff. Okay, so from their point of view, I destroyed and he helped but still.
"Yes, this should be fine." The Doctor swept past all of us into the room, sonic screwdriver in hand as he scanned various devices and stared studiously at it with his glasses perched on his nose.
"What are you examining for exactly?"
"The condition and compatibility of the patient to determine if a device is necessary and would achieve the desired results." The inventor informed us while she put on a lab coat and some gloves that matched her assistants skin tone.
"Will the patient please take a seat and describe why a Facilitator may be needed?"
"My heart's not beating. Your device will make it work again." Owen was his usual snarky, slightly grumpy self as he sat on a chair the Doctor pointed to that looked suspiciously like the ones you'd find in a dentist office on Earth. The woman turned to him a confused look in her eyes.
"You are human are you not?" She questioned and he nodded.
"Human life is driven by their hearts. How are you alive without yours beating?"
"He's not." Martha answered this time her tone more annoyed than I'd heard her be before. Apparently she didn't like a strange doctor asking questions about her patient.
"Can your device make a human heart beat or not. That's all we need to know."
"I would need to know the circumstances that led to his condition to know if there would be any adverse reactions. Knowing the details of his continued existence without life would help to determine compatibility as well." She wouldn't look at any of us but Owen now as she stared at his chest intently like she was examining his insides through his clothes, or like she wanted to slice him open and examine him that way. I suddenly understood Martha's annoyance. This woman honestly thought she was going to get to experiment on Owen because she had something we wanted. The Doctor apparently caught on too.
"Heh." He scoffed revealing the woman's bluff.
"No you don't. You have confirmation that he's human and has a heart problem. That's all the device requires for compatibility. You just want to play with him like he's a lab rat."
"Well, I admit his case is fascinating. Tell me Doctor, did you track this man down just to get your hands on my invention?" She looked up at him and I saw a look take over his eyes that I'd been on the recieving end of. I could stand against it no problem, the woman shifted and looked down.
"The patient is mine. I requested that he be brought here for a device." Martha said glaring at the woman.
"The others came for his and my protection so don't you think for one second that your going to get to do any experiments on him."
"You're a doctor, think of the advancements that could be made by studying him." The woman tried looking at Martha who leaned forward, her hands on her hips and glared up at the near seven foot purple woman.
"He is a human being, and my friend, think again before you start assuming its okay to speak or even think about him that way." She had a definite threat in her voice and the woman straightened up to make herself even taller than Martha who didn't even blink at her.
"I'd be careful if I were you. That's the Martha Jones. The same Martha Jones who saved the entire human race with a single word. She's not one you'd want to piss off." Jack warned and Martha crossed her arms expectantly. I raised an eyebrow but kept my mouth shut as the Doctor smiled proudly at Martha. The inventor just sighed after a moment and turned back to Owen with a longing look.
"Who are you to have such dangerous friends?" She turned her back to us and reached for the clipboard from her assistant.
"Owen Harper, resident dead man of Torchwood." He was just a tad smug as the woman's hand slipped and a long mark appeared on the form she was writing on. She didn't turn back again though.
"Get the damn device down here quickly. Here's the order, I want them gone." She apparently thought she was being quiet or just didn't care as she shoved the clipboard back at the younger alien and rushed from the room. The assistant glanced down smiled at us and said she'd be back in just a moment with our device.
"Well, that went well." Jack plopped down on a stool and I hopped up on a counter, Harley sliding to the floor while we waited.
"Do you think we threatened enough?" I asked contemplatively, tilting my head and looking at Jack.
"Enough? I think we could have gone with a few less threats." The Doctor was grumbling while he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed pouting.
"Nah, we didn't follow through so I think it was just right." Harley told me looking up awkwardly and then looking at Martha.
"What was the word?"
"What do you mean?" She asked with a sly grin crossing her face.
"The word that saved the human race, what was it?" Harley looked like she was about to jump up and start shaking the other woman for her answers.
"That didn't actually happen," Martha answered avoiding our eyes.
"Well, technically no. Well, it did but then we reversed the events so it didn't happen. A whole year was redone." The Doctor tried to explain and we just gave him a 'you're crazy' look and then looked back at Martha.
"The word is..." I asked impatiently also leaning forward so I almost fell off my perch.
"Doctor." She said grinning and Harley and I burst into laughter.
"So you saved humanity by calling the Doctor to come save the day?" I asked through my giggles and she nodded with a, "Pretty much."
"Don't sell yourself short Martha Jones. You traveled the entire world on foot with the armies of every country hot on your heels just to get the entire planet to say one word at the exact same time." The Doctor jumped forward to hug her tightly before spinning towards Jack.
"And you, you died at least twice an hour just to make sure her family stayed safe and I wasn't further tortured allowing her to do it without worrying about us too much." He then turned to Owen.
"You're dead!"
"You think he's got a point?" I asked quietly leaning down a bit to mumble to Harley who just shrugged and then he spun on us making us both straighten up and tense.
"And you two, you're demons!" He was shouting excitedly at this point.
"Brilliant, clever demons from another universe. You are all..."
"Fantastic?" Jack supplied and the Doctor grinned at him again and nodded.
"Fantastic. My wonderfully fantastic companions." He looked around at all of us fondly again.
"I think he just claimed us." My forehead was wrinkled in a confused face that said I wasn't sure I'd heard right or if I should be offended.
"You think that means he's gonna keep us?" Harley asked and I knew her face matched mine despite the hint of hope in the back of it that I was probably the only one who could recognize for what it was.
"If you want." The Doctor shoved his hands in his pockets and gave us this hopeful boyish look before examining the converse on his feet.
"Wait until the running starts before you decide." Owen warned us piping up from where he still sat in the examination chair.
"What do you mean? There's not always running." The Doctor now looked offended as he shot his eyes to Owen.
"I've traveled with you, Doctor, there is, in fact, always running." Martha was the one with the fond look now and when the Doctor looked at Jack he nodded too.
"Oh my God!" Harley suddenly shot to her feet and spun to look at me.
"Expelliarmus!"
"What?" I was pretty sure we all said it but mine was the one she paid attention to.
"Remember when we went to see Shakespeare and there was that weird portal thing and I was yelling at you for causing it and then Shakespeare started this long speech and some chick and a skinny guy jumped on the stage and then when he needed that last word to close the portal he looked at the girl and she told him..."
"Expelliarmus." Martha and I sounded shocked, Harley excited and the Doctor was still in his fond remembrance. "There, you see, Martha? That's twice you saved humanity with a single word." He told her patting her shoulder and she smiled before looking at us confused.
"You were there?" She asked carefully.
"Different life so you wouldn't recognize us. I was the drunk prostitute passed out on the bleachers when the Queen arrived." I informed her and she nodded like that explained that and I turned back to Harley.
"Remember we laughed for a week when we remembered that Shakespeare had used it first? It's funnier now thinking that Shakespeare was actually quoting a fictional teenage wizard."
"We still laugh about it." Martha chuckled as if to prove her point and then took a step towards us.
"Was Shakespeare as big a perv to you as he was to me?"
"Probably." Harley laughed with her and then we all turned to the door as it burst open, the assistant coming in with some kind of device in her hand and her face pink instead of purple from lack of oxygen. The Doctor was instantly at her side while the rest of us went into high alert falling into defensive positions around the two without thinking or communicating.
"Distress signal. Others answered. Here." She shoved the device at the Doctor and gave him a pleading look.
"Run."
"See? Running." Owen said taking a quick peak out the door.
