In the dark, sobs were heard and the trembling of flesh was felt from the man he called friend. At this moment, Jim lived that experience all over again, and it had waited to surface after all these years. Spock had been the catalyst. A game of hide and seek that had turned badly. For who wishes to relive a traumatic experience from the past? It had been buried so very deep in Jim's mind, he truly thought it would never surface. The feeling of deja vu for Jim must have been horrendous. Like a tsunami about to happen and you can't make it stop.
Spock had never been comfortable with his own emotions. They were there, but also buried deep. For his mind had always been a logical one. He could not help but be drawn to Jim's pain, and the need to help him was overwhelming. It was therapeutic. Spock was also certain, that Jim confronting that past would help him move on. The Vulcan decided he was not going to fail him now. Jim needed him desperately. Jim could never forget what had happened, nor would he wish to forget the person that had died, inadvertently saving his life. He had to find a solution that Jim could live with.
Jim's sobs were still very apparent, perhaps a little less in intensity, but still there nonetheless. They were still crouched down low, Spock still running his hands slowly down Jim's back. He was trying to comfort him, like his mother tried to do the same when he was a child. It had been done only when his father was never present. So long ago.
Jim tried to speak through the sobs, the tears running down his cheeks. He had buried his face partly in the crook of his friend's neck.
"I'm so sorry, Spock. I didn't want you to see me like this. So vulnerable. Captain's are not permitted to be weak like this. I'm such a coward." Jim's arms were wrapped tight around his friend, almost like he was a life preserver. He desperately needed to hold on to something.
Spock's chin was lying comfortably in the crook of Jim's neck. Spock breathed in Jim's scent. His hair smelled like fresh apples, and a light cologne he wore smelled of sandalwood.
Spock removed himself from that comfortable position and spoke softly.
"Jim, you are the most courageous man I know. Do you honestly think, I could consider you anything less. I am very proud to have served with you for these past three years. I look forward to serving the remaining years with you. Always by your side. I have been, and forever shall be your friend."
Jim's sobs were beginning to dwindle. Jim tried to find Spock's face in the dark. He reached out a trembling hand and caressed a cheek.
Spock felt that touch, and it penetrated that wall he had always erected. Jim had moved him, with a single touch.
Spock was now afraid where it could lead.
