Disclaimer: I don't own Pride & Prejudice.

The week following Jane's illness passed without any considerable event; Edina and Will were both back at Netherfield, however, the latter seemed more reserved with Lizzy. He acted as if they were meeting for the first time each day, causing Lizzy to wonder if she had said something, or if Will was reacting to seeing Wickham on their walk.

'Maybe he suspects that George told me,' was a constant thought running through her head. Which was only sharpened when Edina asked if anything had happened between the pair of them.

"Not that I know of." Lizzy felt she was lying, but didn't fancy explaining the whole story.

It was Friday, yet again, and Edina and Lizzy were sitting in the auditorium after school; auditions were being held for the play. Professor Thornton sat in the first row of seats, calling up the students to perform the bit that they had prepared. Lizzy and Edina sat next to each other in the middle of the auditorium, so far neither of them had been called up, much to their relief. Lizzy could feel the butterflies in her stomach and the restlessness of her legs. Edina seemed to be more composed - that is until her name was called and she turned to Lizzy.

"I think I'm going to puke."

"Don't face me!" Lizzy exclaimed. Edina took a few deep breaths to calm herself, which took up far too much time according to Professor Thornton.

"Girl," she said, turning to face Edina, "we are not in a yoga class with Maharishi. Hurry up, up onto that stage, I want to see you front and center."

Edina scampered up, completely mortified. She stood awkwardly on the stage, fiddling with her fingers, staring at the wall in the back of the auditorium. Professor Thornton let out an exasperated sigh.

"Oh, good heavens! You did know to prepare something, didn't you? I believe I had said that being unprepared is a sin in the theatre, did I not?"

"Y-yes you did Professor Thornton." Edina nodded.

"Now tell me - are you unprepared?" Edina opened her mouth to answer, but Lizzy cut her off.

"She is professor, but you see," she stood and was walking up to the stage, "we had planned our audition together, and so it only works if I'm up here with her. I hope that's alright." Lizzy clasped Edina's hand and bravely looked out towards the audience … and Professor Thornton.

"Hmm…," she thought for a second, before coming to a conclusion. "Very well, only don't disappoint me."

Lizzy nodded and whispered to Edina what scene they should do. It was from Wives and Daughters when Molly Gibson questions Cynthia if she truly loves Roger Hamley.

With Lizzy to focus on, Edina said her lines clearly and strongly. And the former discovered that she was more confident on the stage than she had imagined. All in all, the pair felt that they had done a pretty good job when they had returned to their seats. Professor Thornton was saving all judgments until the very end and had the cast sheet printed. The other students' performances were varied; some were very good, while others left room for improvement.

"Bloody hell! That was horrible. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life!"

"Not even when you cut your finger?" Lizzy asked.

"Good point. They come to a close tie."

They were at Longbourn Café, and the two girls were regaling Jane, Charlie and Darcy with their auditions. Jane and Charlie were now officially dating and often went to the café. Today, Darcy tagged along with them by the insistence of his friend. Lizzy was sitting across from him and had to keep from laughing; he looked completely out of place, sitting on a petite curly Q chair, sipping tea from a dainty cup.

'Ha! Where's a camera when you need it?'

She was pulled back to the conversation when Jane asked her a question.

"Do you think you'll get it?"

"Hmm? - Oh, I don't know, I hope so."

"I know Lizzy will play Molly, no doubt about it." Edina said. Lizzy gave a little scoff.

"You don't know that. There were a lot of good people today." She argued.

"Yes there were, but none were as good as you."

"Well, thank you," Lizzy smiled, "but I'm not going to get my hopes up yet."

"A toast! I call for a toast!" Charlie stood up and raised his glass, which was filled with some chocolate shake. He had been unusually quiet this afternoon, listening to his friends and beloved talk. Darcy, sitting next to Charlie, started a bit at the suddenness of the movement.

"I would like to make a toast!" He had the attention of the entire café now.

"I would like to toast Elizabeth Bennet and Edina Irons for," here he swept back his hair, scrunched up his face and slouched his shoulders, trying to mimic the stereotype of a nerd, "being at the top of their classes and always having that bright outlook on life." He punched the air and then pushed up invisible glasses on the bridge of his nose. "And I would also like to toast to my beloved, Jane. May you never stop and wonder why your dating me." He took her hand and kissed it. "And now to all you lovely people of the Longbourn Café…Enjoy!" With that he collapsed back into his seat and the whole table erupted with laughter.

"What was that all about?" Jane asked with tears in her eyes. Charlie shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, I'm feeling a bit giddy is all. You okay Darce? I thought I heard a snort come from over here." Darcy had his mouth full of dessert and was trying not to laugh again, everyone at the table was looking at him with huge grins on their faces. Finally he gave in and burst, and a piece of food came flying out of his mouth and landed straight onto Lizzy's front.

"Ewww!" They all started laughing again.

"Can we have some more napkins over here? Please!" Lizzy called. Darcy swallowed what was left in his mouth and went to help with the napkins. He returned, looking a little pink in the face.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean - "
"I'm not mad, but I do want to get this off of me." She held out her hand to receive the napkins. As she was wiping, Edina let out a little holler.

"Woo-hoo! I got it all on camera."

"What?!" Darcy turned to her. Edina gave him an evil grin.

"I said I got it all on camera; Charlie's…toast, your snort, and then your upchuck on Lizzy." Darcy looked like he wanted to be anywhere else - then he seemed that he wanted to be six-feet under when Edina showed them the video.

The table was up in laughter once again, but this time they were asked to leave, owing to the fact that it was supposed to be a romantic atmosphere.

Jane and Lizzy were driving home (Jane had borrowed their mum's car) and were in a fit of giggles as they thought about their day and then Longbourn Café.

"His face was priceless! I still can't believe he spit on you!"

"I know! I still have a chocolate stain; why couldn't I have been wearing a darker colour, but no I was wearing white. And it's the school uniform."

When they arrived home they saw Kitty waiting for them outside.

"Finally you're here. We've been waiting forever, come on." She didn't wait for Jane or Lizzy to ask any questions but hurried into the house. The two girls quickly followed, wondering what was going on. Kitty led them to their backyard where they saw their Da, mum, sisters and Moochkie sitting around a man.

"Oh, and here are my two eldest girls. Jane - Lizzy, I would like you to meet William Collins."

'That makes three Williams that I know of,' was an immediate thought that came to Lizzy.

Bill Collins, as he later told them he preferred to be called, turned to face the newly arrived Bennets. It is almost impossible to describe how ridiculous he seemed to them on their first meeting, simply because it was hard to believe that any one could act the way that he did. He started off by bowing, which caused Lizzy to hide behind her hand, and he then proceeded to formerly reintroduce himself and his patroness, Lady Catharine De Bourgh.

"I doubt you've heard of her, being so far up north and in such a little…" He was going to say village, but thought that that was exaggerating things a bit. Moochkie perked up at this pause and gave a small bark, and Lizzy was happy to finish the sentence for him.

"Village. And, yes, we actually do know who Lady Catharine is; she's the benefactress of Netherfield Academy, the school that Jane and I go to."

"Netherfield Academy. Of course, I had forgotten that it was up here. I mean to say that I knew it was up here but forgot the exact location. It's of course in…in…" Moochkie gave another bark.

"Dunbar."

"Dunbar, yes." Mr. Collins sighed and the silence that lingered was agonizing.

"Well, why don't we see to fixing up a room for you, Bill." Mr. Bennet offered, mercifully interrupting the awkwardness. He had been studying his cousin and determined that he was well-meaning, but completely clueless of usual interactions with other human beings.

"You're staying here?" Jane was incredible at keeping the displeasure out of her voice. "For how long?"

"At the moment, I am planning to stay a fortnight, however, that might change." Moochkie let out a long drawn out howl.

A room was made ready for Mr. Collins, who indiscreetly criticized the smallness of it and couldn't help but compare it to a room in Lady Catharine De Bourgh's estate.

Oh, by the end of the night, the Bennet girls had had their fill of Lady Catharine De Bourgh, her name became a synonym with the word 'boring.' Kitty and Lydia hadn't even tried paying attention, and were soon texting. Lizzy and Jane tried their best to be polite, but were soon caught up in their own thoughts. Mary was the only one who held out the longest, mainly because Bill Collins was a clergymen, but even Mrs. Bennet had fallen asleep. Her husband had unfairly claimed that he needed to grade papers in his study.

The next morning was Saturday and Lizzy was up bright and early to go on her rounds, visiting family and friends. Her bike was waiting for her on the side of the house; she was walking past her Da's study window when she heard voices.

"Mr. Bennet, I must be honest with you, I had hoped that your daughters would have been a little older." It was Mr. Collins. Lizzy stepped to the side to listen.

"As a man of twenty-six years, it would not be proper of me to seek any of them out. However, Lady Catharine De Bourgh has pressed me time and time again to find a wife. I hold the responsibility to educate the people of my parish to do what is right and befitting as a Christian. Not having had any contact with your family for all these years, I had miscalculated your daughters' ages. But I ask you now, if you can point out any woman, close to my age, that is single and pious, I would be most grateful. You see, back in Kent, I have not had much luck with finding anyone suitable, either they do not fit my description…or I do not fit theirs." Mr. Collins paused to clear his throat. "There was actually one woman who I had proposed to, not a month ago. I believed she liked me, but she flat out refused me." Lizzy was taking all this in and was horrified that Bill Collins had come to St. Abbs with marriage on his mind.

'That's right. No seeking us out. You're eight years older than me.' Her attention was brought back when her Da responded.

"I am sorry to hear that, Mr. Collins. I will do my best in pointing out, as you say, a woman that meets your…standards." Lizzy could hear the hidden laughter in her Da's voice.

"Thank you, Mr. Bennet." A chair could be heard scraping the floor as the two men stood to leave the room. As they reached the door, Lizzy heard her Da say, "you know, why don't you go with Lizzy on her rounds today. She can introduce you to all our neighbors, and you can make your judgment of the female population."

"Oh, well, yes that sounds perfect. Is she still here?" Mr. Collins asked.

"Yes, go round to the side of the house, to the left. She's probably getting her bike."

Lizzy, hearing this, quickly ran to her bike and turned it round. She was about to pass her Da's window when his head popped out.

"I would stay there if I were you, goosey. Mr. Collins is coming back now."

"Oh Da." She sighed. "Did you know I was there the whole time?" She had a guilty expression on her face. Her father gave her a slight warning look, "Indeed, I did, and next time either be better at hiding or don't listen in at all." He gave a small tap on her nose.

The ride with Bill Collins could be described as nothing but amusing. He was on Jane's pink bike and his foot coordination with the pedals was lacking. They came first to Lizzy's aunt Phillips.

"Hallo! Aunt Phillips! I have someone I'd like you to meet." Her aunt came down the stairs, wearing her nightgown. She was looking down at her footing on the steps, so as to not trip, prattling along on some string of conversation that was occupying her head. Reaching the bottom of the steps, aunt Phillips grasped Lizzy's hands and looked up for the first time.

"Oh! You've brought someone! Why didn't you say, I would have gotten dressed." She looked down at herself. "Ach! Lizzy, I'll be right back." Mrs. Phillips scampered back up the stairs and into her room. Mr. Collins was taking in his surroundings, no doubt comparing them to Rosings Park. Lizzy smiled awkwardly over to him.

"You can wait in the sitting room if you like. I'll just put the kettle on."

Every now and then, while waiting for the water to boil, Lizzy would peek into the other room to see what her Da's cousin was doing. To her amazement, each time she looked, she saw him in the same position; he was sitting in the middle of the sofa with his hands clasped to his knees and his eyes shut. After the seventh time of looking at him, a small laugh escaped her lips. Not even that disturbed him.

Finally, Lizzy's aunt Phillips made herself presentable and just in time for tea.

"No, no Lizzy. Use the fine china, we have a guest." Without a complaint, the niece complied and switched the silver wear. With everything properly done, Lizzy joined them just as Mr. Collins was describing Huntsford and Rosings Park.

"Really? Only a lane that separates you? How wonderful! Don't you think so, Lizzy?" Lizzy looked up from pouring the tea and put a smile on.

"Yes, it sounds lovely."

"You should visit one day; I think you would like Kent." Mr. Collins accepted his tea.

"I've never been outside of Scotland; it would seem too big." Lizzy said.

"Ach, don't be ridiculous dear. Southern England is hardly worlds away; and if you were to go you could come back and tell me all your stories." Aunt Phillips reasoned. Lizzy shrugged her shoulder and took a sip of tea.

They stayed at Mrs. Phillips's house for more than hour; the conversation was mainly between the hostess and Mr. Collins. Lizzy was now taking him to the Lucas's.

"Lizzy, you have a friend?" Lady Lucas welcomed them at the door and led them in to where the rest of the family sat in the backyard.

"Yes, he's my Da's cousin, come up from Kent."

"Kent, did ye say?" Sir William asked, waving the two over. Charlotte and Maria were sitting next to him and their brothers were searching for snails under rocks and mud. "I know a thing or two about Kent. Met a Lady there once; let me see if I can remember her name." Sir William's red face gave away that he had been drinking, as did his slurred speech. While he was thinking, Lizzy introduced Mr. Collins to the two sisters. Charlotte seemed shyer than usual and Maria was only concerned in talking to Lizzy.

'Does she fancy him?'

"Oh! I remember, Lady Catharine De Bourgh. I met her at a board meeting - twice! when I come to think of it."

This knowledge brightened Mr. Collins up very much, and the two men sat talking for hours, with Charlotte joining in at times.

As it started getting dark out, and the group seemed to have no notion of breaking up, Lizzy became a little fidgety. She was expected at home.

"And I told him, I said, 'you're going to give me that fish. I caught it fair and square, like. That's my catch.' And do ye know what he did?"

"Tell me."

"He gave me the finger and tossed me some bait, shouting, 'better luck next time, mate.' I was livid, ye can imagine." Sir William was clenching his fists at the memory.

"Certainly." Mr. Collins responded, being the good audience that he was.

Lizzy cleared her throat.

"Excuse me, but it's getting late and we're expected back home for dinner."

"Great Scot! Look at the time. I'm sorry Lizzy, but ye know me, once I start there's no stopping." Sir William apologized.

"That's alright."

"But say, why don't ye come over for dinner tomorrow night. All of ye, the whole Bennet Brood and ye Mr. Collins." Sir William offered.

"That sounds great."

Lizzy and Mr. Collins were a wee bit late for dinner, but their spots were saved.

"What were you up to the whole day?" Mrs. Bennet asked. Her tone was slightly annoyed, something that Mr. Collins did not miss.

"Your daughter was acting as tour guide today, it is my fault. But I am now acquainted with your sister," he said turning to Mrs. Bennet, "a charming woman, and the Lucas's."

"Oh, well that's nice. What did you think of them?"

"You're sister, is an absolute gem," Lydia scoffed.

"Her manners are so polished, one would think that she was in London regularly,' Kitty choked on her food.

"She has that certain depth that is rare in… in…that is rare," Mrs. Bennet beamed at their guest.

"Such praise, Mr. Collins, I shall have to tell her what you said. Now tell us of the Lucas's. How did they fare?"

Mr. Collins could not stop complimenting the Lucas's, especially Charlotte.

'Does he fancy her?'

"Did you find her to be pious, Mr. Collins?" Mr. Bennet asked. The former looked at the head of the table and nodded.

"Indeed, I did, sir."

'Bullocks.'