Chapter Eight: Storm in a teacup
Breathe, trust, bless me and release,
Climb, hard or never be seen.
Closed off, rescue to breathe.
Just bless me.
Six years seemed like an entire lifetime once but now it was nothing more than a blur on a once beautiful hopeful canvas. The once rich vibrant colors were now shades of a distant dream. His dream, his life, all of the pieces that used to fit like a perfectly constructed puzzle had been shattered into nothing more than flawed, crooked images. Dean tossed and turned with pictures of his wife mutilating innocent humans searing his brain as he slept. Of all the troubles he encountered in his life, Haley was the one person who would be there to stitch his broken pieces back together again – but not this time. This time was different. It was her he had nightmares of. His mind knew it but his heart wouldn't accept it. The terrifying nightmares where immediately lost as soon as Dean's ears twitched with the sound of a familiar monotone calling out his name.
"Dean…." The monotone called.
"Go away, Cas." Dean didn't even open his puffy eyes to see who it was; he recognized the voice – it was burned into his vault. Castiel did not reply at all, Dean however could feel Castiel's presence still strong beside him. "Please, Cas…just go." Dean's eyes slowly started opening. Tears were thick in his voice; he had literately wept himself to sleep. It wasn't that Dean cared if Castiel saw this side of him – Castiel, because he was an angel, saw every side of Dean – it was just the fact that Dean was far from in the mood. The Apocalypse, seals, lives in danger….in this moment it lost significance to him.
"You understand it now. That she is not who you thought she was." Castiel ignored Dean's request completely as if it never was asked.
"I said go away!" Dean barked as he jerked around and glared Castiel in the eyes. He didn't even care someone could hear.
"Not until you see it for yourself." Castiel didn't falter at the rising of Dean's tone.
"See what?" Dean snarled with annoyance. Castiel didn't reply he simply pressed his index and middle fingers to Dean's temple and within an instant they vanished into thin air. No trace, no nothing, just invisible air.
"Dean….?" Haley's fragile voice sounded as she walked into the room after giving her husband some space she knew he needed. Haley's eyes observed the room and found it to be empty. No Dean, just furniture. She knew Dean didn't sneak past her and walk through the front door downstairs, she knew it was angels, she could smell them. Her nostrils scrunched up with the foul scent only a demon could determine. Her heart pounded against her chest and anger burned inside of her. She didn't trust in angels, not because she was a demon but because she knew how they manipulate and bend truth, and twist and tempt humans. Lucifer did the exact same thing to her long ago and she never could forget it. Her hands baled up into fists that made her knuckles turn white; she wanted Dean back in her sights where she knew he'd be safe.
"Hey, Daley…Sam and I wanted…." Jessica started up but stopped as soon as she hit the room and saw Haley staring into nothing with such anger. Jessica's eyes darted back and forth across the room trying to see what Haley saw, but she couldn't. "Hales, what's wrong?"
"Angels took Dean." Haley tried choking her fury back a little and ease up while speaking to Jess but found it harder than it should have been.
"Took! What do you mean 'took'?" Jessica was quick to panic; she had a very deep relationship with Dean. Haley should have phrased it better. Haley turned around to look at Jess.
"An angel was here, probably Castiel, I can still smell him. He 'zapped' Dean away on a mission or something...I don't know." Haley took a deep breath and ran her fingers through her hair trying to regain herself.
Jessica nodded slowly as relief nestled her chest. "They wouldn't hurt him, right?" She, regardless of her loyalties to Haley, still believed and trusted in angels.
"They wouldn't kill him, but hurt him? If they thought it would get them something they were looking for then yes, they would." Haley gripped a fist full of her hair as she was forcing herself to calm down.
"Should I tell Sam?"
"No." Haley quickly reacted taking Jess by surprise. "Sam will only worry himself, like I am and he's been through far too much recently and has a lot on his plate right now. When Dean returns he can fill us all in if he wants, if not then it's best to let it be."
"Should I be worried?" Jessica was skeptical. Despite her faith in Haley she had a lot in the 'higher' power too, just like Sam.
"You shouldn't, none of you should, but me? That's entirely different." Haley sat herself down on the bed slowly and let her head hang. She cleared her throat. "Ugh, just let Sam think Dean and I have gone to sleep for the night. And tuck Jamie in for me, please." Jessica smiled reassuringly with a nod as she left the room. She was concerned, not so much for Dean but more or less for Haley. An angel was capable of a million things, a million truths to twist and stretch.
SIX MONTHS AGO.
Violet clouds covered the sky as the winds blew the tree leaves and branches in multiple directions. The winds formed mini typhoons. Thin bolts of lightning shot in the sky with the loud roar of thunder cracking. Rain poured from the sky and clashed onto the ground with loud impacts. Dean's head and body swung back and forth looking into every possible direction trying to comprehend and understand where he was or how he even got there. One minute he was with Castiel in his house and the next he was in the middle of nowhere being attacked by a hurricane. He almost instantly became soaked by the intense storm.
"What the….?" Dean asked rhetorically as he saw an abandoned home and a woman rocking back and forth in front of it in an apparent catatonic state. Dean jumped with astonishment as noted the feel of a hand resting on his shoulder now. Dean jerked around to see Castiel standing beside him, soaked. "What the hell is this?" Dean rose his voice in part because of anger, other so it could be heard over the roar of the storm.
"You needed to see it." Castiel replied with a louder pitch.
"See what!" Dean retorted. This was twice Castiel had said this without further elaboration.
"Haley. And what she is capable of." Castiel looked over to the house, Dean's eyes following in the direction of Castiel's. Castiel signaled for Dean to advance towards the house and reluctantly he did so. Dean slowly advanced towards the frightened woman, unsure of how to approach her; she looked out of her mind.
"Miss…?" His words were soft despite the loud pitch to drown out the rain.
The woman continuously rocked back and forth unresponsive with nothing but fear in her eyes. She was shaking but it wasn't from the cold rain drenching her, it was because of the terror she had witnessed. "Kenny….my baby…Kenny…Kenny…my baby, my baby." She continued repeating the name over and over again. She was distraught and it sent an ache through Dean's chest, he felt so out of place and useless.
Dean turned around to find Castiel only a step behind him. "What is this? Where are we? Why are you showing me this and what does it have to do with Haley?" His words were slower with an odd pained edge in them. He felt so badly for the woman, she was helpless and hopeless.
"We are six months in the past." Castiel replied as he watched the woman who was completely unaware of their presence; she wasn't really lucid, being catatonic and all.
"In the….?" Dean was shocked. Since finding about the angels' existence time travel shouldn't really surprise him, but it did. "Okay, so what? Angels got their hands on some Deloreans? How did I get here?" Dean couldn't believe that this was happening.
"Time is fluid Dean, it's not easy, but we can bend it on occasion." Castiel explained while looking back up at him.
"Well bend it back or tell me what the hell I'm doing here!" Dean shouted with agitation.
"I told you, you have to see it. To see her for what she truly is." Castiel placed his hand one Dean's shoulder once more and in an instant their surroundings had changed again – but not by much this time. They were still in the past only difference was they were out of the rain and able to see inside of the house. A fading fire in the hearth lit the entire grungy room where two women stood over a crib. Blood splatters stained the walls and floorboards. Blood dripped from the crib and soaked the baby blue blanket that hung over the edge of the crib. Haley… Dean cried in his mind as he recognized one of the women to be his wife.
"What do we do now, demon mom?" The other woman's raspy voice asked as she looked up to Haley with tearful eyes.
"We clean this up." Haley replied with emotion haunting her voice. The other woman inhaled deeply and slowly closed her eyes and then reopened them. Blackness replaced the human eyes and fire enveloped the entire crib. Haley's eyes turned white as she turned around to the fireplace. As she rose her hand and extended it towards the hearth fire exploded from it, the entire room was burning to the ground. Dean watched on stunned as his heart banged against his chest. Castiel with his hand on Dean's shoulder embraced him. Dean and Castiel exchanged a long look filled with defeat and betrayal before returning to the present time.
"Hey, Hales…it's gonna be okay. We're gonna get the sick bastard who did this." The woman rubbed her hand on Haley's shoulder trying to silence her whimpering. Warm tears trickled down her cheek as she looked out the window and saw the helpless mother crying for her son.
"Yeah, I know we are. It's just….look at her, Brooke. I couldn't even imagine that happening to Jamie…I just…." Haley couldn't find the words to describe the pain she felt for the woman and the tragedy she had just suffered, and she didn't have to. Brooke grabbed onto her best friend and held her close to her, embracing her and silencing her.
"It's okay, demon mom, it's all gonna be okay. Shh, shh." Brooke patted Haley's head and held onto her friend tightly as they both mourned the loss the mother had suffered.
PRESENT TIME
"She….there was a….She killed a…." Dean found himself unable to finish a stable thought let alone form an entire sentence. "What the hell was that?" Dean snuffled.
"What did it look like?" Castiel asked. They had returned to their time only now it was the crack of dawn and they were outside of a diner. Dean tore his eyes away from Castiel as the tears began forming in his eyes again. He saw it for himself, her eyes, the brutality, there was no denying it now. The only question was: Where does he go from here? "You've seen the destruction she is capable of first hand. Make the right choice, Dean." Those were Castiel's parting words. A piece of advice buckets of information and one broken heart with no idea how to proceed. Dean fell onto his knees, knees digging into the dirt as his breathing picked up. He was having an anxiety attack. Dean closed his eyes shut and made a tight fist as he tried to compose himself.
Haley paced back and forth around her room; the creaks from the floor woke the other members of the household up long ago. She abruptly came to a stop when she felt Dean's presence behind her. She instinctively turned around and rushed to his side. Her hands traced up and down his face checking to make sure he was alright. "Thank god! Are you okay?" Haley exclaimed with relief.
Dean had to make a choice, but not right now, he knew it wasn't time. His judgments would be clouded if he did so and he might ruin everything by reacting so fast. Dean let out a lighthearted chuckle and took hold of Haley's hands. "I'm fine, really. Well, a little annoyed with those winged dicks high jacking me out of a peaceful sleep…But yeah, I'm okay. " He sported his devilish smirk that made Haley's stomach flutter. He was alright and Haley couldn't be happier.
"And umm, I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday, just worked a really hairy case, that's all." Dean reassured Haley. Haley smiled the brightest of smiles, bringing life to her eyes and making her cheeks swell. Haley almost immediately wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug. As the sides of their cheeks brushed against one another Dean's face fell completely. Haley was smiling and Dean was on the brink of a breakdown. His chest was heavy and felt like he'd been run over by a monster truck. Whilst Haley's body was cloaked with joy, she'd even forgotten to ask about what the angels wanted with him. Right now it didn't matter; her worries were put to rest by his warmth.
Two sided time,
Your rebirth can't hurt,
Branch out behind, the pain.
"It's time, Jamie." Bobby's gruff but yet soft voice stated.
Jamie's head hung over his shoulders at his grandfather's words and he felt a huge weight pile on him. He was dreading the day when Bobby would give him the go ahead. Bobby had told Jamie he was going to give him the time he needed to muster up enough courage to confront his father but he was just prolonging the inevitable. One way or the other it was going to slip out and if it wasn't from Jamie's lips then Dean would be even more upset. Jamie lifted his head back to shoulder level and took a long breath. "Okay. I'm ready." Bobby nodded proud of Jamie's answer.
"Hey kid…." Bobby sighed as he walked around the corner and stood in the doorway of Dean and Haley's room. Dean was sitting on the edge of the bed by himself, thinking. Haley had gone out with Sam and Jess to get supplies and to catch a movie. Dean turned slowly, fixing Bobby with a steady gaze. "I think there is something Jamie wants to tell you." Bobby pushed Jamie's back lightly, nudging him in Dean's direction. Jamie looked up to Bobby with uncertainty but it faded fast with a second of seeing a confident smile from Bobby.
Jamie looked back down as Bobby left the room and closed the door behind him; Jamie was alone with his father now with nothing but air between him and the truth. Dean kept his soft jade eyes on Jamie waiting for him to speak first. Jamie stood there looking at the ground breathing nothing but fear. He was clearly trying as hard as he could to be strong and brave in front of his father, but his strength was fragile at best. Dean sensed Jamie's recoil. Dean got up and pulled a chair from the desk planting it beside the bed. Jamie looked up at Dean as he felt his father's big hand on his shoulder, guiding him to the chair. As Dean sat down on the bed Jamie sat down on the chair and took a long inhalation, steadying himself. "Daddy, I'm sorry for lying to you. If I tell you something will you promise not to get mad?" Jamie's sad words gusted out in one big exhale.
Dean took a second to think it over and prepare himself for what he'd been waiting for, for well over a month now and eventually nodded with a small encouraging smile. As Jamie confessed to Dean everything he had confessed to Bobby he felt a weight lifting off his shoulders. He was fearful of what his father would do with this information but was happy for the secret to be no more.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Closure has come to me myself,
You will never belong to me.
Hours had passed. Haley and Jess put their new clothes away after trying them on and Sam had stuffed the hunting supplies in the Impala. Dean sat numbly on the porch outside with a cold beer in hand. He didn't even know why he had the beer with him, he didn't want to drink it, didn't want to eat, and wanted to do nothing but wallow in his grief. Though he longed for silence his brother wouldn't let him be. Sam could always know when something was bothering Dean, and wouldn't let him suffer alone. Dean wasn't taken by surprise by Sam's clearing of his throat; he always sensed when his brother was close. "We're about to have a talk aren't we?" Dean asked with a displeased grin.
Sam paused and scoffed with a disbelief shake of his head. It still surprised him just how well Dean knew him. "You gonna tell me what's on your mind or are you gonna sit out here alone and brood?" Sam took a seat next to Dean on the porch.
Dean rose the beer bottle and pressed it to his full lips taking a long swig of it. He avoided chick flick moments like the plague. Sam shook his head. He figured that reaction was coming. Sam had his own beer in hand and took a mouthful of it. Both Winchesters did this a lot, just sat beside one another and drank beer, gazing into nothing. This was their peace, sharing each others company with silence. But today wasn't one of those days. Peace did not exist today. It wasn't long ago that Dean's apple pie went bad but it felt like a lifetime. The peace was so lost to him now, he'd forgotten what it felt like to look at his wife in such a way that he used to. "The angels were right." Dean flatly said as he lowered his beer.
Sam swallowed the malty liquid hard as Dean's words settled into his skull. "What do you mean?" Sam tried to keep leveled and calm, not wishing to jump to conclusions.
"About Haley, what the angels said….what Ruby said, God help me, Sam, they were right." The sad words came out and tears swelled in Dean's eyes. As Sam watched his brother as he confessed what he had learned in the past little while he fought against his own army of enemy tears. Sam just sat in silence listening to Dean speak with shock. No million thoughts ran ramped through Sam's mind, just two were reoccurring: How and Why? He believed in Ruby and the angels' words but a piece of him still had hope, because of Dean's beliefs, but now that he agreed Sam was just as lost. Neither was able to speak again for several minutes. If it weren't for Bobby interrupting the stillness they'd of probably continued the silence.
"Hey boys, what's up?" Bobby casually placed himself behind his boys as he leaned against the pillar sipping on a nonalcoholic beer. Dean and Sam exchanged a long soulful look before getting up and letting Bobby in on their realization. Bobby found himself just like the boys, wordless, hopeless and stunned.
Had to turn, lay down,
Your sting of disease.
Phase you out, should've seen this coming.
Go on confusing the soul,
Hold my breath 'til you rupture.
Like a leach,
I hold on as if we belonged,
To some precious pure dream.
Cast off, you've seen what's beneath,
Now fail me.
Jessica was called in on her day off to work the bar because one of her co-workers had an emergency. The house was surprisingly quiet. Haley was just walking down the stairs as she heard Bobby's voice calling out to her.
"Haley, would you come here for a sec?" Bobby's gruff voice sounded from the living room area. Haley didn't think anything of it and absentmindedly walked right into the middle of the living room. As she stopped she saw all three of her boys standing loosely close to one another. The smile faded slowly as she felt the bad vibes pulsating from their auras and saw their uneasy hard expressions. Haley thought someone was hurt, and Jess was the only one unaccounted for.
"What happened?" Haley's sad delicate tone sent an ache through all of the boys' hearts, but they knew this was best for now at the very least. Dean forced a cold expression as his arms were folded across his chest and he looked up, knowing Haley would follow his eyes. Haley's eyes -as Dean assumed- followed Dean's and looked to the ceiling. Her entire body ran cold and she was literately stuck in place as her eyes examined the devils trap that hung over her. Haley managed to tear her eyes away from it and look back down at Dean with weeping eyes. Her eyes darted back and forth between all the boys and burned a hole through Dean's heart, but he wouldn't let a demon see such pain and suffering; he had enough of that in hell.
They stared at each other wordlessly for many minutes before Haley couldn't stand it anymore. "Whatever you think you know that's not all there is to it."
Dean scoffed and raised a hand as he began circling her. "Save it. I'm not really in the mood right now to listen to a steaming pile of new lies."
"I'm not lying." Haley pleaded.
"Oh bullshit!" Dean snarled catching everyone off guard and making Haley jump in the process. Dean quickly regained control over his anger and shoved it back deep in a cage inside of him and locked it.
"So what now?" Haley threw her hand in the air with disbelief thick in her voice. "You keep me locked up forever?" Haley didn't think they would kill her, she was still a part of this family regardless of species and she knew Dean didn't have it in him.
"Who says we're keeping you alive at all?" Sam replied dryly. Haley's eyes fell onto Sam, her best friend, her brother; with so much hurt it could penetrate the strongest of barricades.
"Sam." Dean snapped. Dean's tone made Sam back down with a snort. Dean needed this situation to be kept under control until he figured out their next move.
"I gotta know something…." Dean turned his head back to Haley slowly. "Because the angels haven't been clear on it….is my Haley still in there or have you always been a demon through the entire damn time I've known you?" He had to ask it; one of the toughest questions that burned inside of him.
"I've been a...demon...always." She had trouble saying it out loud to them, but there was no way around it, no more dodging, no more denying, just like her brother Crowley had said long ago. It wasn't exactly true, every demon had previously been a human being but she didn't see the point in sharing her life story with them, would they believe it? Would it make them hate her any less? She certainly thought not.
"What is this like a game for you sick bastards? Huh? What were you like, just a spy? Keeping an eye on us, playing head games with us?"Sam quickly exclaimed as he took a step towards her letting his arms fall to his sides carelessly.
"No! God no! I gave up that life a very long time ago." Haley exasperated with a loud exhale and shock that Sam would think such a thing of her. But, could he be blamed?
"Don't lie to us." Dean warned smoothly.
"I'm not lying!" Haley continued to plead as tears trickled down her cheeks. Bobby had to look away; he couldn't stand the sight of Haley's pain. Tears made him uncomfortable.
"Really?" Dean grinned evilly with a scoff. "Then how come I saw you, what was it, six months ago killing a baby with some other sick bitch?" It disgusted Dean to even think about what Castiel showed him let alone speak of it.
"What?" Haley asked rhetorically. She was shocked by this but knew she shouldn't be. She preached to Jessica about how manipulative the angels were and apparently Dean was zapped back here before he could see the full picture.
"Yeah, apparently the angels got their hands on a couple Deloreans and I went for a little trip to the past. When I was in Hell you were creating it here. So don't you dare tell me you are good, you evil bitch." Dean snarled with nothing but coldness in his eyes.
Haley felt a wrecking ball bash into her heart as she heard what Dean had called her. She'd been called it plenty of times but it stung that Dean would use the word for her. As more tears drenched her soft plump cheeks her eyes glanced over to the doorway where she saw Jamie with his mouth open as he watched. Haley gasped as a sharp pain ran through her, knowing Jamie was exposed to this broke her heart. She lost everything.
Dean, Sam and Bobby's eyes shot to Jamie with unpreparedness. Jamie looked up at his father and ran the other way towards the stairs. "Damnit!" Dean yelled at no one but at the situation. Dean without hesitation ran to Jamie. He was faster and he grabbed hold of Jamie's arm and yanked him back firmly but not hard enough to cause him pain. "Jamie, Jamie..." Dean tried to speak gently but he was to wound up.
"Go away! Let me go! You're hurting momma's feelings!" Jamie retorted. Haley heard from where she sat in her devils trap and it made all the broken pieces comeback together again. Jamie….my Jamie….. She thought as even more tears oozed out. She knew Jamie had the knowledge of what devils traps were for, and that he heard all that was said, but yet he still loved and trusted in her and cared enough for her to stick up and protect her feelings against better judgment.
"Jamie, your mother…." Dean searched for a way to explain it to him but he was cut off.
"I know she's scary, dad. I know it better than you. But she's still momma on the inside." Even through everything he had seen in his visions Jamie, a six year old child, chose to stand by his demon mother. Haley's tears were uncontrollable now. She in her entire existence never felt so much love before. Jamie was truly special.
Dean felt tears begging to come out but he jostled them back with one forceful push. "Jamie, listen to me, under no circumstances do you let your mother out of that pentagram. And don't go inside it for any reason too." Dean needed to know Jamie was going to be safe because he no longer trusted in his wife to look after him.
"But dad-"Jamie wanted his father to hear him out but Dean wouldn't have it.
"Do you understand me?" Dean barked making Jamie jump. Dean didn't take pleasure in scaring his boy but the order needed to be understood.
Jamie nodded sadly as he looked at the ground. The order was obeyed and Dean trusted Jamie enough to leave it at a nod. Dean pulled Jamie close against him and hugged his son. Jamie wept as he embraced his father and began to tremble. Haley closed her eyes at the silence as she knew her Jamie was lost to Dean's order. What she loved most was lost all over again. It was lost because of what she was. As if she ever had a choice.
Faulty closure Closure has come to me myself,
Faulty closure
Faulty closure
Faulty closure
You will never belong to me.
Note: When Castiel zapped Dean into the past Castiel showed him Haley and Brooke standing over a bloodied crib with a mutilated child inside of it, the woman on the steps was the baby's mother. Castiel took Dean back to the present time before he could see that Haley and Brooke had nothing to do with the massacre. They were in fact innocent. This is what Haley meant by twisting and bending truth to tempt humans. Hide the whole picture from them and only show the parts that'd make them turn and fall onto their side. Just filling in the blanks for you guys. So yes, unbeknownst to Dean and others, Haley had nothing to do with that massacre. Oh and yes, Brooke is a demon. In the Supernatural season 4 storyline Lilith had a 'personal chef' aka her right hand, Brooke is Haley's right hand, but are both as good as they come; and NO, they don't feast on babies.
