Disclaimer: All things Star Trek belong to CBS/Paramount. I only own my imagination.
Spoilers: Parturition. If you haven't seen it, this won't make much sense.
Author's Note: I have the ambition to keep these coming, but I also have a real life which can mess with me. While Kes and Neelix' candle light dinner goes astray, Harry and B'Elanna have a talk in the mess hall.
"So, what's your suggestion?" B'Elanna asked and leaned over the table top to take a look at what Harry had been working on. He pushed the padd over to her.
"Ever since the incident when the Doctor was affected by that radiation field I have been having this in the back of my mind. We really should put up holo-projectors in critical areas so we can transfer the Doctor if an emergency occurs. I was thinking places like the bridge, engineering and the mess hall for instance. I've been working on it for a while," he said and leaned back on his chair.
B'Elanna scanned the content and looked up. "Looks like it could work. We'd have to test it thoroughly though. Especially in engineering I think we could run in to problems keeping the matrix stable. The bridge should be reasonably simple, but it can fool you." She smiled and tilted her head slightly. "I thought you were going to take some time off this evening down on holodeck one?"
Harry sighed. "Yeah, so did I. But no, Paris is his very own Greek tragedy right now, so he wanted to live that to its fullest with some depressing music while feeling sorry for himself," he said sourly and crossed his arms and leaned on them.
B'Elanna raised her eyebrows and gave him a disbelieving look. "What is going on with him?" Her face fell and she continued, "Kes?"
"Apparently," he huffed. "No really, this is ridiculous. He's infatuated alright, but he's such a masochist. He knows she'll not consider him since she's devoted to Neelix. I've wondered if he does this to himself because she's not actually available."
"What's the logic in that?" she asked and fingered the padd and avoided to look at Harry.
"I'm not a psychologist." He shrugged and threw a look at a passing crewman. "That talk about seizing the opportunities before anyone else does is just something he says. Like with the Delaney sisters. They're really nice and Tom showed his best behaviour, but I could tell that he really wasn't interested."
"But still he does it," B'Elanna said.
"He still does it. This little heartache of his will probably go away in a couple of weeks and he'll be back eyeing the female single part of the crew again. Or at least a certain part of it," Harry added.
B'Elanna snorted. "Yeah, he wouldn't get far with any of the Maquis so he'd have to stick to the Starfleet crew."
Harry threw her a glance and quirked the corners of his mouth slightly. "Sometimes I almost think he's doing this because he can't muster up the courage to deal with something substantial."
"And that would be?" she asked and started scrolling the content on the padd, feigning lack of interest. She remembered the raktajino by her hand and picked it up and started drinking.
Harry smiled and kept looking steadily at B'Elanna. "Come on B'Elanna. I'm his friend, not a mind reader. I have a few ideas thought."
Putting down the beverage she turned her eyes from the padd, lifted her chin slightly and met his eyes. "You're not making any sense here Starfleet. Paris is living a self inflicted Greek tragedy because he can't deal with something substantial. What?"
"Have you thought about the fact that this is pretty new to him? That this, being all respected and important, being part of this crew, is something he didn't expect when he walked aboard Voyager? He was doing it to look better when his parole was up for discussion and he was due back on New Zealand once Voyager returned from the Badlands. Being back at the helm on a Starfleet vessel was unthinkable. You've said it yourself, he was a pataQ," he said pointedly. B'Elanna looked down at the table and coloured slightly. "It was a long time since he succeeded in anything, but he is now. One step at the time, I guess. You can't have it all in one go."
B'Elanna sighed and looked up at Harry. "I keep forgetting about that. There are days now when I don't think about what's going on at home. I do my job, which I enjoy, and then I read a book or socialise, have dinner with people or go to the holodeck… and then I sleep. The bad dreams which would wake me up on occasion are rare these days."
"Bad dreams?" Harry asked and frowned.
She tilted her head and looked down and caressed the cup. "I was in a warzone, Starfleet. We had some pretty scary moments." She peered up at Harry. "Actually, Paris was flying when a couple of them happened. I'm pretty sure he was a bit shaken too. I don't know if he has dreams about them though." She lifted the cup to drink.
"Nothing he has mentioned," Harry said with a serious face and made a mental note to talk to Tom about it later.
B'Elanna put the cup down. "You become a tight knit group when you face death together. In critical situations you're completely dependant on the others, and everyone knows it. You're under pressure, when death is but a small error or malfunction away… You fight together, save each other, show your fears and share the euphoria when you avoid being blown up again. Afterwards it's tough though. Once the adrenaline leaves you and you pull the blanket over yourself to try and sleep it comes back to you. Sometimes it's so bad that you have flashes of past events when you hear certain sounds." She went silent and looked down at her hands.
"Have you talked to the Doctor about this?" he asked worriedly and leaned a bit forward.
"No. I haven't had any flashes since we left the Val Jean and I can handle the dreams," B'Elanna smiled faintly. "I'm doing pretty well. That's what I'm saying, I'm doing so well I forget we have been out here less than a year." She was quiet for a moment. "I forget what Paris' life was before this happened." She picked up the cup. "But he was always flirting. He hasn't changed when it comes to that," she continued drily and took another sip.
"Well, that's the thing, he's not flirting." Harry leaned back again and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Really. That necklace was definitely more than just a friendly birthday present, if you ask me. Two weeks worth of his rations?" B'Elanna snorted. "Not even you can deny that it was a bit over the top."
He gave her a nod. "Yeah, that was a bit… too much. On the other hand, he's not material. If he likes someone he can be pretty generous. What I'm saying is that he's not sweet talking anyone." She put down the cup and shrugged as answer. "By the way, you've been hanging around a lot with Yosa, Henley and Chakotay lately. I've hardly been able to catch you," Harry said, changing subject.
"We have a tournament going at Sandrine's. You know the endless kind, where the winner gets to decide what we eat for dinner afterwards," she smiled and picked up the raktajino again. "We have a lot to talk about. Mariah needs a bit of encouragement from time to time. So does Chakotay. Yosa and I tend to be the listeners and cheer them on."
"Chakotay?" Harry echoed in surprise.
"He's no super hero, you know. He had to abandon the Val Jean, our cause, discovered he had been fooled by several people he trusted and he had to establish authority as XO. He gets tired sometimes. Chakotay is strong but no man is an island. He has never been the kind who tries to carry everything himself. There's his spirit guide of course, but he has always turned to friends." She smiled affectionately and downed the raktajino.
"He always seems so calm and in control I never thought he had doubts." He paused for a moment before he continued. "That shows how little I know."
"He's a private man," B'Elanna said and lifted the padd. "Mind if I borrow this for a while?" she asked.
"Go ahead. I figured we could bring it up with the captain during next briefing so I'd appreciate if you had a look at it," Harry replied.
B'Elanna stopped mid-motion and leaned forward. "Harry, why don't you come with me to Sandrine's? We're having a game this evening with dinner. We could discuss this with Chakotay. With Chakotay in on this we could start working immediately."
"I don't know…," he started.
"Come on, Starfleet!" B'Elanna said trying to encourage Harry.
"It's just that. I'm so very much Starfleet," he replied.
She stared at him. "You honestly think they wouldn't want to shoot some pool and have dinner with you because you're Starfleet? Harry, it's Chakotay. And you know Yosa and Henley too. Of course they don't mind me bringing you along!" She rose from the chair she had been sitting on. "Come Starfleet, let's go!" He smiled and rose to his feet as well and followed her as she turned and headed for the exit. B'Elanna stopped as she had put the cup in the recycler and let him catch up. "Voyager may be a big brand new ship compared to the Val Jean, but we have scary moments on this ship too. We have them together. It means something."
Harry grinned. "It's good to know," he said. She grinned back and they went out through the doors.
