Update: The rating is now M to be safe. No lemons in this chapter though.
AN: Okay so this story is loosely based on the Broadway hit Spring Awakening and you're about to know why. No not that…no such sad endings will occur for those who've seen the play. Anyway I love this song(youtube link with silly animation on profile) its so beautiful because its about yearning for something so bad that just fantasizing about it takes all your problems away. I just listened to the song and this chapter spilled out of me.
AN: Please listen to the song. It's too amazing for words.
Caution innuendo ahead
Edward's POV
Where I go, when I go there
No more memory anymore…
"Jasper could you please stop fantasizing about killing my ex girlfriend it's making me a bit uncomfortable" I muttered, drawing Jasper out of his reverie.
Alice looked absolutely horrified and Emmett stifled a laugh. "Hey that's my friend you barbarian" Alice scolded as she smacked Jasper upside his head. Rosalie just snickered and rolled her eyes.
"Chill out man" Emmett said. Really dude its ok. We all fantasize about draining the students every once in awhile. It helps keep hunger…manageable. Otherwise a guy can crazy with all this temptation.
I was beyond shocked. "Who?" I asked, not really wanting to let Alice and Rose into our conversation.
Em: Angela…Jessica…Mrs. Webber…Principle…
"Whoa sorry I asked" I replied and Emmet just grinned.
Only men on distant ships
The women with them, swimming with them, to shore
Where I go, when I go there
No more whispering anymore
Only hymns upon your lips
A mystic wisdom, rising with them, to shore
Jasper: Bella's face beading with sweat as she runs through the hallways screaming at the top of her lungs. 'Help please someone'…Hmm I wonder if her blood is as good as Edward makes it out to be…
Touch me – just like that
And that – o, yeah – now, that's heaven
Now, that I like
God, that's so nice
Now lower down, where the figs lie
A low growl ripped through me and Jasper's thoughts were temporarily quieted. "Sorry man" he muttered. I monitored his mind until he turned his dark thoughts towards another student then tuned him out. Besides I was the only one allowed to indulge in sick fantasies of Bella.
Now where was I?
Where I go, when I go there
No more shadows anymore…
Bella sat in a meadow alone with the sun pouring light over her face. She wore a pure white dress that clung to her body as the wind blew. So enraptured by the light, she didn't see me stalk behind her. Her heart quickened its pace. The blood swished in her veins like wine in a bottle. One hand snaked around her and locked her to me by her chest the other pulled her head to the side by her loose hair. From my position behind her I couldn't see the look of fear on her face but I could hear her heart and muffled whimpers that escaped her lips.
I brought my lips directly above her jugular vein and placed delicate kiss there before positioning my razor sharp teeth above the flesh. She moaned and writhed in my arms which caused me to tighten my grip. Suddenly another urge overcame me…
Where I go, when I go there
No more weeping anymore
Only in and out your lips
The broken wishes, washing with them, to shore
Even in my fantasy I was jolted by that realization. I whipped her around to look at her face. Her eye lids were half closed her lips slightly parted. This was not fear…it was something else. I wanted something else.
Touch me – just like that
Now lower down, where the sins lie
Love me – just for a bit
We'll wander down, where's the winds sigh
The realization jolted me from my reverie and I prayed to God that hadn't been staring at her the entire time. No such mercy was granted. I was still staring at her. Thankfully she was too engaged in a conversation with Mike Newton to notice. I groaned. Something that hadn't occurred to me in public since I was twelve suddenly happened. Oh crap…
Em: Um Edward…I know I'm sexy and everything but calm down.
Emmett scooted further away from me towards an unsuspecting Rose.
Jasper: Whoa someone needs to calm down. I can feel these things remember. (Scoots away from me towards Alice)
Thankfully Alice and Rose were too busy conversing to notice but that didn't stop Emmet from bringing it to everyone's attention.
"Hey Eddie, the Denali sisters are coming to visit us Thanksgiving weekend. You remember Kate, the one who bit you? Anyway maybe one of them can help you take care of your…situation"
The entire table was now looking at me as I banged my head into the table. I…hate…my…life.
Bella's POV
I tried to concentrate on what Mike was telling me put I couldn't pull my gaze away from Edward. He was staring at me, his eyes were glazed over, and he had the oddest expression on his face. What was he thinking?
"I don't like the way he looks at you" Mike was saying, "Its like you're a peace of meat or something"
"Huh?" I said lamely as he interrupted my thoughts.
"You're ex" Mike motioned towards Edward's table. "He's been staring at you" My eyes returned to Edwards table only to find that he was no longer looking at me but was looking downwards at his table in angst.
Biology:
Bella's POV
He was late. Or had he been able to drop the class. The late Bell rang and I shifted nervously in my seat as the lecture began. The subject today was human sexuality and everyone including myself let out a collective groan.
"The male organ becomes engorged with blood when the male experiences an arousal" The teacher was saying. Suddenly the door creaked open and Edward silently walked pass the teacher without giving an excuse and took his seat next to me. "Mr. Mason do you have an excuse for coming into my class 10 minutes late?"
Edward shot him deathly look and the teacher, after looking a bit shaken, returned to his lesson without confronting Edward again. Whoa what's that about?
The hour wore on and the teacher continued to talk about the various parts of the human anatomy and I suddenly wished I wasn't sitting right next to the one person I wanted to loose my virginity to just 3 months ago. I found myself thinking about the most outrageous things. Like if vampires ever craved anything other than blood. If they were dead…how could they. Surely Alice and Jasper…
My face felt suddenly felt hot. Oh great I'm blushing during sex-ed. I suddenly felt extremely self conscious. If the blood rushing to my face was doing anything to Edward I wouldn't know. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I shielding my face from him with my hair and tried to quiet my mind.
However, I couldn't quiet those ridiculous recurring vampire fantasies I'd been having about Edward and I of late. I knew it was all HBO's fault for getting me hooked on that ridiculous True Blood show. I let out a loud sigh. I already had to deal with a years worth of fantasies about human Edward am I going to be plagued by fantasies of Vampire Edward TOO?
Finally the bell rang and Edward was the first to get up and shoot out of the class room. I guess he cant wait to get away from me. I moped to my locker and then to my car depressed. Tomorrow was Thanksgiving which meant it would be an extra long break from school till I saw him again. I sighed. I was beginning to love the torture of being near him but never with him. I almost didn't know which was better thinking that Edward didn't want me anymore or knowing that he still loved me but had to stay away for my life.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of my passenger door slamming shut. Alice's little pixie figure was now sitting patiently beside me. How…jeez Alice warn me next time. "Um…Hi?"
"Mind if I come home with you for awhile? The boys are being…well boys and I can not deal with that like Rose can" She said while rolling her eyes at the very remembrance of it.
"Um Sure. I just have to go to the grocery store to buy a last minute turkey. Do you mind coming with me?"
She scrunched her nose at the mere mention of food but agreed and I pulled out of the parking lot. We drove in relative silence. Apparently I wasn't the only one with a lot on my mind. Ask her. Just Ask. Ok. Im going to ask…wait no… "Alice can I ask you something?"
"Sure" Then she her expression went blank. "Wait! Can I take that back? No. You definitely cant ask me that."
What on earth…"Alice you can't take it back I've already worked up the courage to ask you" She remained silent. "Ok well I'm just going to say it whether you answer or not" Still nothing. I sighed. "What's it like…being a vampire?"
Finally she answered me. I drove in silence and listened as she recanted her tale of how she became a vampire and found the Cullens and Jasper. How the Cullens were one of the few vampires out there who only drink animal blood. Even how some of them had special abilities. I really wasn't surprised when she told me she could see the future but I was definitely about to crash the truck when she told me that Edward could read minds. My face reddened.
As if reading my thoughts her eyes widened. "Oh gosh no. Did I leave out that he can't read your mind? You're the one person it doesn't work on. For the rest of us it's really annoying though as you can imagine." She prattled on. But I was still in shock.
When we reached the grocery store I managed to park my truck awkwardly in 2 parking spots and fumbled towards the entrance with Alice trailing me reluctantly. We strolled down the isles, me plucking needed items for thanksgiving dinner and she making faces at everything in the cart. Ok Bella you're a big girl. Just say it. Just ask. "Um…"
"Yes Bella on all accounts" She answered before I could ask.
"But how?" I lowered my voice and looked around self consciously.
She shrugged. "I'm not a scientist or anything but we still feel just as people do."
"So…you and Jasper"
"Yes Bella. On all accounts"
"Oh" Ok changing subject. NOW.
Thanksgiving Day
Edward's POV:
All day I'd been a nervous wreck. Literally, I was going to meet my murderer. My human mind only had a faint hazy glimpse of what she looked like and it wasn't pretty. Her face was smeared with blood and she had a deadly scowl on her face. It wasn't really fear that I was feeling. I mean, I'm already dead what else could she do to me. It was more a fear the impending awkwardness. The Cullen's and the Denali's had been friends for centuries. I didn't want to be the one to upset that.
I was sitting at the piano when Carlislebrought them into the living room and I stood; a little bit of Jasper's old southern manners rubbing off on me, to acknowledge their presence. There were five of them in all. The couple clinging to each other introduced each other first as Elezar and Carmen. When I caught sight of the three blond sisters my breath caught. They were painfully beautiful, even more so than Rosalie. The fist two introduced themselves as Irina and Tanya while Kate nervously shifted her weight on her feet like a human.
Her thoughts forced their way into my head. They were unstoppable and guilt ridden. She thought I hated her. For awhile I thought I did. I hated the fact that I couldn't be with Bella but now that I knew first hand what its like to be tempted I couldn't blame her. Finally she introduced herself shyly. "I am Kate"
"Yeah I think we've met" I said. She smiled at that and I resumed playing the piano while the rest of the covens caught up. The one named Tanya sat on the bench beside me and began watching my fingers tentatively. When I wasn't perturbed by her presence she appeared upset and pouted. "Edward you fingers play magically" She purred seductively. Hmm I wonder what else they could…
"Ehem." I coughed to stop her train of thoughts from flooding my head. "I can hear your thoughts" I explained quietly.
She didn't seem embarrassed by that at all. "Really? Then can you see what I'm picturing right now"
I stiffened in my seat and stopped playing. Yes, I could see very clearly what she was thinking. Why on earth did it seem as if God himself was fixed on torturing me?
Her eyes widened as if she suddenly realized something. Ah oh course what was I thinking. You are a newborn. You cannot possibly want to…
"Yes exactly" I said. Let her think what she wants. Anything to get stop that mind of hers. She was worse than a pubescent teenager. Without warrant, my mind suddenly went to Bella. I wondered what she was doing. Was she slaving over a turkey dinner in the kitchen or making conversation with Charlie?
I excused myself from the house and started to jog, which of course meant I was running at warp speed, towards the woods. I didn't stop until I found a clearing and leaned against a tree, while gazing up at the stars. My phone suddenly began vibrating in my pocket. Of course I get service NOW. Assuming it was Alice or Carlisle I picked it up without glancing at the caller id. "Yeah sorry I just needed to go for a jog"
"Edward?" the voice on the other line sounded confused.
Holy shi…"Mom..er hi" It took my fuzzy vampire memory a while to recognize her voice and she didn't seem convinced that I was indeed her son.
"Edward? You sound different."
"Really?" I replied nonchalantly then raked my mind for a memory of her. Bingo. "How's New Zealand?" I inquired which seemed to put her mind at ease.
"Oh it's beautiful. Really the mountains are just breathtaking. It's really a dream to capture this kind of natural landscape on camera. Oh enough about me the Dr. told me you were feeling better but your voice sounds a little off you're not taking drugs are you because I didn't move you to Forks for that."
What? Her question threw me off completely. It took me a long time to gather that accusations of drug use were a light and daily thing for my mother. She began chucking on the other line. "Relax son. I know you're not on drugs. I mean because if you are its prep school for you" I could literally see her grinning. So this strange eccentric woman was my mother.
'No mom, definitely no drugs" I muttered.
"Good. Happy Thanksgiving then."
I smiled. "Thanks mom you too."
"Are you spending it with the Cullens. Dr. Cullen's told me you and his children were getting pretty close. Or are you at Bella's? How is Bella?"
My mother was definitely reminding me of Alice with her incessant questions. "Yes I'm still at the Cullen's. They've been pretty great. Bella is fine" It wasn't a lie really. She could be fine. We talked for several minutes later until she told me she had to go. "Mom?" I stopped her before she could hang up.
"Yes?"
"When exactly are you coming home" I had to know to prepare the Cullens for what to do. Carlisle thought it best that I faked my death as soon as possible while I thought that I could at least fool my transient mother and classmates until I 'went off to college'.
"Aww are you missing your mother?"
I rolled my eyes. She was absolutely endearing. I almost felt like her parent. "uh huh"
"Well filming has been a bit off schedule because of the weather but I'm going to try to make it back for Christmas ok" With that we said our goodbyes. I had a month to figure out my next course of actions, surely my mother would notice my change in appearance. My eyes were a different color for God's sake. Then again the humans at school didn't really notice. They assumed it was all just part of my 'new look'. My memory of how close I was to my mother was hazy and I needed a human opinion of just how convincing I would be to my own mother. I needed Bella.
AN: Step 1: Go to my profile and scroll down under my posted links
Step 2: Find the link to the Song 'Touch Me'
Step 3: Click youtube link and listen.
Step 4: Review for the story
Thanks
AN: Poor Edward his life really IS a living hell. Please review and I promise I'll lessen his pain. lol.
