Disclaimer: I do not own Silent Hill or The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and I'd like to say that this story couldn't be written without the aid of my friends, the support of my readers, and large amounts of pocky. (Improbability Level: 2 to the power of 2,159,646,709 to 1 against)
Chapter 7: The Amusement Park at the End of LifeKoji looked up at the sign marking the entrance to the newest stop on Kyo's tour of Silent Hill. "Lakeside Amusement Park" he said to himself, looking off into the park itself. "Hellside, maybe…" The place was full of rust and blood, just like the rest of the town, except for the bloody bunnies strewn about the place.
Lakeside Amusement Park is one of the most stupid ventures in the history of amusement parks. It was built in Silent Hill, then transported right to the shores of Hell through the use of gruesome demonic rituals.
This is, many would say, impossible.
In it, guests can try to eat cotton candy from rusted bloody carts, shop around in the abandoned souvenir stores, or get themselves killed on any number of the attractions.
This is, many would say, equally impossible.
You can arrive in any deadly situation (usually involving a roller coaster) at any time, due in no small part to the fact that Silent Hill is just weird like that.
This is, many would now insist, completely impossible.
In the park you can meet a fascinating cross-section of hell's inhabitants, all of which will want you dead for reasons of their own.
This, it can be explained patiently, is also impossible.
You can visit as many times as you like, and be sure of never meeting yourself, because you'd probably died in there before and became a new blood smear on the wall.
This, even if the rest were true, which it isn't, is patently impossible, say the doubters.
The immensely high cost of entry is usually paid sometime during your trip. It is advised that you should not go, unless you happen to have a spare life.
This, many claim, is not merely impossible but clearly insane, which is why the park's slogan is "If you've done 6 impossible things in your life, why not round it off with death at Lakeside Amusement Park?"
"Kyo, we should go…" Koji started, but found her cuddling a bloody bunny.
"It doesn't look all that bad" she pouted, putting the bunny in her backpack. "who knows, maybe we might even have a little fun"
"Very little…" Koji muttered under his breath, but followed Kyo as she journeyed further into the park. Now, due to rising stress levels in the whole of the horror survival genre, certain facts shall be revealed to you now, so that you don't die in that long corridor due to nervously shaking hands. The Silent Hill 3 section will end after this chapter. I'm sorry, I don't remember much from that game, but when I get it again, I'll add more. Koji and Kyo will not be dying in Lakeside Amusement Park. In fact, except for Heather's violent and sudden death due to a roller coaster car, everyone comes out of this completely unharmed. Now, let us continue on with the story.
Kyo wandered around for a while before entering the gift shop. Koji glanced at the various T-shirts lying in neat rows on the shelf. He blinked. Something on the shelf looked odd… He shone the flashlight on it. It was a bottle with a red cross on it. Koji blinked again. "Wow…" He said, picking it up "This may be useful"
The Health Drink is small, brown and probably the least likely thing you'd expect to find in a real life horror-survival situation. It is made out of various medicines & protein shakes which have been thrown in a blender, creating a foul tasting, but nutritious and healthy, drink.
The practical upshot to all this is that if you drink a health drink in Silent Hill, you'll gain a small amount of life back. In any other place it has been found to kill the drinker slowly and painfully.
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindboggingly useful could have appeared in Silent Hill purely by chance, that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of Walter Sullivan.
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove I care," says Walter, "for if I care, none shall fear, and without fear, I am nothing"
"But" says Man, "the health drink is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have gotten in Silent Hill by chance. It proves you care, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't exist. QED."
"Oh dear," says Walter, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of half-baked logic.
"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that the Golf club is the most durable weapon, and gets himself killed in the boss fight.
Most leading theologians claim that this argument is a load of dingo's kidneys, but that didn't stop Laura from making a small fortune when she used it as the central theme in her best-selling book "Well, that about wraps it up for Silent Hill"
Meanwhile, the health drink, by slightly prolonging the drinker's doom, has led to more and bloodier deaths then anything else in Silent Hill.
"Help Koji!" Kyo yelled, Koji looking up from the health drink and walking over to her. A shelf had collapsed and covered her with boxes. Koji smiled slightly "What're you doing under those?" he asked, pushing them off of her. "They fell on me" she replied, eyes tearing up slightly. Koji sighed and pushed the last of the boxes off of her. "Are you ok?" he asked
"Yeah…"
"You sure?"
"Yes" she smiled at him and gave him a hug "Thanks"
Koji smiled and hugged her back. "No problem" he said, then noticed that one of the boxes had popped open, revealing a key. He let go of Kyo and picked it up. It should be noted that at about this time, Heather died because she didn't pick up this very key, because, as I mentioned earlier, everyone otherwise comes out of this chapter completely unharmed.
"Come on," Koji chuckled, getting up and pulling Kyo up "Let's get going, ok?"
"Alright" Kyo replied, dusting herself off and following Koji out the door. They traveled around aimlessly for a while, before discovering a large, mysterious, red symbol. Quickly flipping back to Chapter 2, Koji realized it was a form of Save point, and hid behind Kyo. "What's wrong?" She asked, looking behind her at him, then at the symbol.
"I don't like save points"
"Oh" she went up to the symbol and pushed in the center part to make a hole. She turned around and smiled at Koji. "Better?"
"I guess" Koji looked at it curiously. The hole was actually a tunnel, shimmering with static. He looked inside, it went back quite a way, and he could see it sloping down steeply a few meters in.
"What is it?" Kyo asked, standing next to him and looking in.
"It's a highly sophisticated plot hole" Koji said "It actually might have been here since before writers got lazy." He jumped up into the hole and began to crawl through. "Come on"
Kyo shook her head. "Nuh-uh. I can't go with you this time"
Koji turned around and looked at her. "Why not?"
"Because you have things you need to do. And so do I" She leaned into the hole and kissed him, tears starting to fall from her eyes. "I love you Koji" She pushed him into the hole, sending him spiraling into new horrors.
Special treat this time with 2 guide entries! Lucky you. The next section is the first part of the Silent Hill 4 game, so you can look forward to that. And I just got Silent Hill 3 again, so be prepared for an updated SH3 chapter in the future.
