If you were in the local bar of a small town, in the Land of Fire, on the dirt road to Konoha, you might see some interesting things.

You would see four people walking through. Ninjas, probably. Your eyes would immediately be drawn to their...unusual hair. One (shouting) ninja, spiky blonde hair the color of the sun. Another (daydreaming), short, choppy hair colored a suspicious pink. The third ninja (mortified), inky black hair that could have been blue. And the fourth one, the expressionless ninja, hair the color of...well, black. It was black.

You would next look at their faces. The boy in front, with blonde hair, is marching along, grinning like an idiot. Next would be the girl with unnatural bubblegum locks, smiling at the blonde but glancing every so often over her shoulder at the brooding one. The boy she is staring at is walking coolly, confidently, looking thoroughly bored. And last but not least, the inky-haired girl, rifling through her bag with a look of such horror you have to wonder what the hell is in there.

But, of course, you are not in a bar in a town on a road to Konoha in the Land of Fire. And you are not a ninja. But I'm sure you wish you were.

No, you are not a ninja, but the four people you have hypothetically seen are real ninjas.

Very real.

A voice suddenly came from the back of the group, sounding weak and utterly despairing. "Ano...can we...g-go back?"

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke all turned and stared at their comrade. Hinata's cheeks were pink and she shifted uncomfortably, averting her eyes. "It's just...d-demo...I-I can't wear these!" she blushed a bright red, holding her bag away from her, as if it were on fire.

...and covered in deadly toxic waste.

Naruto's face flushed and he coughed, looking away, while Sasuke rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. Only Sakura looked confused. "What's wrong with your clothes, Hinata?" she asked, walking to the girl and taking the offending bag. Curious, she unzipped it and pulled out an article of clothing -

A bra.

Naruto made an odd little sound at the back of his throat, gaping at the skimpy, lacy underpiece. Sakura's face went very, very red, almost glaring at what she was holding. Even Sasuke was staring with his eyebrows raised. Damn, he thought, Tsunade was right.

Naruto could only form one coherent thought. Biiiigggggg...it's biiiiiiiigggggg...

Sakura was motionless for a second. Then she whirled around, a halo of flames surrounding her. "NA-RU-TOOOOOOO!" she screeched, stomping towards him. Naruto let out a girly shriek and covered his face, cowering. "P-Please, Sakura-chan! Don't hurt me! IT WAS SASUKE! SASUKE PICKED UP HER STUFF!" he pointed an accusing finger at the stoic boy.

Both Hinata and Sakura's heads whipped towards the Uchiha. The fire in Sakura's eyes was immediately extinguished. "S-Sasuke?" she asked disbelievingly, shock apparent in her voice - and a hint of anguish that did not escape the trembling blonde beside her.

Sasuke grunted in annoyance. "I didn't pick that out." His gaze shifted to Hinata, eyes narrowing a bit. "Your cousin met me at the door and handed it to me."

Miles away, the Hyuga prodigy sneezed. His bun-haired teammate giggled. "Someone's thinking about youuuu!" she sang. Neji shrugged nonchalantly, secretly congratulating himself.

Neji, you sly dog.

"Neji, you bastard!" Sakura shook her free fist at the sky, as if Neji was up in the clouds, smirking down at all the silly mortal fools.

Calming down, she turned to the still blushing Hinata. "Sorry, sweetie," she chirped sympathetically. Hinata attempted a small smile. "Ano...that's, ah, thats okay," she told the louder girl.

Sudden inspiration hit Sakura. "But, you know..." she began sadly, inwardly patting herself on the back, "you can't possibly wear these things. They just aren't suited to a mission!" She shrugged despairingly, stuffing the bra back into Hinata's bag. Hinata bobbed her head up and down enthusiastically. "Naturally, we'll have to buy you new clothes..." she took another peek in the bag. "...because it looks like all that's in here are bras and panties." Hinata blushed, still nodding fervently. "So...Naruto will shop with you!" she pushed the boy towards Hinata, who, unprepared, fell over at his unexpected weight. Naruto rubbed his head. "Ow..." he muttered, then froze, realizing what position he was in. He was practically straddling Hinata, who now resembled a strawberry. Wow, she felt nice...wait! No! Bad Naruto! Turning as red as the girl under him, he swiftly scrambled up off of her. "I-I can't!" he choked out, panicking, as Hinata stood up, also looking ready to explode. Sakura's cheerful expression quickly turned irritated. "Why not?" she demanded, hands on her hips. Naruto racked his mind for something, anything to get out of this situation. If I have to shop for lingerie with Hinata, I am gonna die of a boner! And he blurted out the first thing that crossed his mind.

"I-I'm a pervert," he said lamely. Sakura snarled, her plans for Naruto and Hinata thwarted. Dammit! He's right!

Another voice joined the conversation, this one smoother, deeper. "I'll do it."

Both Naruto and Sakura turned around slowly, shock plastered all over their faces. Sasuke continued. "It only seems fair. It's almost my fault." He looked at the surprised Hyuga girl. "I should've known your cousin would pull something." his face twisted in distaste at the mention of Neji.

Hinata recovered the most quickly of the three, the other two being rooted to the ground. "A-Arigatou, Uchih-san," she said timidly, bowing.

"Hn." The avenger strode past her, and she, with a quick glance to the two frozen teens, ran after him.

Naruto fell over.